Turned inside out with fear

[DianneRoberts]

I was on top of the world, my friend count is nearing the big 100 !!
I am a little shy about going out and was going to start a post, maybe something like "Push Me". I was going to ask for suggestions on how to celebrate my 100th friend here.
Something just outside my safe zone, you know,,, push the envelope,,,expand my horizons,,, dare me. I want to move forward, do more, be all the girl I can be........

BUT

The other day I read "just got out of jail" OMG OMG OMG !

I cannot imagine how horrible that must of been !!!!!

I haven't dressed since, not even in the closet.
I don't know if I ever will again. I had plans of going further forward. This is so SCAREY. How can any of us ever dress again other than MAYBE with the doors deadbolted, windows closed up, lights off. I am shaking all over just thinking about how mean the world can be. :sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:

[sherri52]

Diane if you never dress again so be it. The thread about jail was an unusual situation. If you had read the thread she was being sexually harrassed by this man and unfortunately her male side came out and decked him. I'm sure I would have done the same. Please don't let that scare you, be yourself.

[DianneRoberts]

If I were to hit somebody:
1. I'd hate myself forever
2. They'd probably never get up ever again

I'm not "out" to anybody at all and to have my name in the "Police Blotter" section of the newspaper would be more than I could handle.

I hate that the one jerk gives men a bad name.
It's so sick that I don't have words for it

It's so upsetting.

[sherri52]

It may not be right to hit someone, but he left her no choice. You do have to keep your temper a little though. We don't want anyone hurt. We just want them to leave us alone. I speak in general of course

[Wen4cd]

Pepper spray?

[Alice B]

I don't mean to be harsh, but I think you are being a bit paranoid about the whole thing. The chances of you ending up in jail are very, very remote. As far as I can recall the story about the person being arrested for hitting someone that was harassing them is the first time I've heard of it on our site or elsewhere. If you are dressed at home, who is going to arrest you and for what? Come on back and enjoy yourself.:hugs:

[Laura_Stephens]

Fear is very, very real.
Although the threat level may be completely different.

Google "Bruce Schniener" for more answers.

Lastly, the same "threat" can carry vastly different consequences for different people. Therefore, only you can decide how much risk you are willing to take on.

[trannie T]

The chances of being arrested while dressed are extremely low. There have been many posts in this forum about girls' interaction with law enforcement, almost all have been positive.
It would be nice though to see the mug shots of our members who have been arrested.

[Bethany38]

Dianne, do not let that one experience that Jenny had dissuade you from going out. It was one persons bad experience. In fact, after reading that, I went out for the first time EVER. Nothing special mind you, just my Niece, her fiancé, and me of to a friends house. The point is though do not let someone else's bad experience keep you from being happy. If we, as a community of humans let the general population keep us from being and doing what makes us happy, we do not deserve to do it! Also I am going to go out dressed again tonight. I refuse to let society keep me in the closet anymore. I am who I am, the rest of the world will just have to deal with this fact. I feel bad for Jenny's experience but, I will not lay down because some a-hole did not know how to respect someone else's prerogative in life. I feel soo bad that Jenny had to endure what she did but, that has made me more militant toward our cause. I guess I should change my name to Xena cause I am a worrier for what we believe in.




Love always Bethany:Angry3:

[AKAMichelle]

Just don't hit anybody and you should be fine. I have been out many many times and never had any problem. I have more problems with my wife at home than I have out dressed.

You can spend the rest of your life being scared or you can conquer your fear. If you don't go out that door, you will live with regret until you finally go out. So consider this your kick in the butt and go already.

[mklinden2010]

Being hassled is a possibility everywhere you go and no matter what you chose to do.

Just know things could happen, know what proper responses would be, and go on about your life.

Last week, you hadn't heard this "jail tale" and you were fine.

Last week and next week will be about the same.

[deja true]

I don't remember seeing it mentioned in that scary thread, but I think a wiser course of action might have been to head straight for a Security Guard after the SA failed to call one.

It's a scary thread alright, but a calmer reaction would have avoided what's going to be a hassle and headache.

Still, it's a good lesson for the rest of us to remind ourselves that the Pink Fog doesn't always hide us from harassment.

Don't let it frighten you out of being true to yourself, hun...

...that's how the creeps win!

:)

[Miranda09]

Relax Dianne. Just be yourself and excersize some caution and common sense. Again, what Jenny went through was bad, but then again, now you might see what GG's sometime have to deal with out of no fault of their own. Jenny could just have easily been a GG at that incident and Wal-Mart handled it very poorly. Personally, I don't venture out much as Miranda except at events like Be-All which is a pretty safe environment. I didn't even dress when I met Kimberly and Gina this year....regretful, but I'm still getting comfortable with everything and still feeling out the public response, so to speak. So don't let Jenny's experience (which she handled very well I thought) scare you. Just remember, be cautious. :)

[Sally2005]

If you don't challenge yourself you will forever be scared. Do something that is pushing your comfort zone, but not too far to make it impossible. Maybe for your first outting stay away from target... try something easy like sitting on the back porch in the dark or go for a short drive.

[RobertaM]

Remember ladies,, for every one of us that goes out, and is seriously thinking of going out.

there are 10 who probably may never go out. You live life once.
Ciao and hugs,,

[Karren H]

Lifes to friggin short to worry about what could happen... The truth is S*#t happens... Ya go to learn to deal with it and move forward... Nothings stopping me from dressing (except my damn busy ass schedule) and going where I want and doing what I want enfemme!! Bring it on!! Every days a new adventure!!

[JulieC]

I've been on this forum for years, and the going to jail bit over hitting someone who was sexually harrassing one of our contributors here was a first. It's very rare.

Further, there's mean people out there no matter what you are wearing. You can't avoid that any better than you can avoid having rain drops fall on you in life. Whether you're dressed in a dress or a suit, you are going to interact with some very nasty people. Being crossdressed doesn't change your odds of that in any significant way.

Be yourself. Don't live in fear. It can and will dominate your life if you let it do so.

[DianneRoberts]

Well I got up the courage to dress and go to the mailbox.
Broad daylight.
Mini skirt heels forms wig etc. etc.
Nobody around so it was not really a big deal.

Starting to think about asking for a "push".
Suggestions on how to celebrate my soon to be 100th friend.

Still scared.

[Sheila]

Dianne, good for you hun :hugs: am pleased that you took a baby step, lots of them lead to a long way being walked :)

[Sarah_GG]

Congratulations Dianne! :love:

Here's that push you asked for!

Decide where you're going and maybe go with a friend. Enjoy it and smile. :)

[Di]

Also here's another push.
Maybe go for a drive another baby step and to take away some of your stress take a bag of guy clothes/shoes and baby wipes as an emergency bag to have incase some weird thing happens like car breaking down or some other real life happening...this lessons the stress.And go enjoy yourself.:hugs:

[KatieC]

Pepper spray?

Probably off-topic but ... be aware of your local laws if you decide to carry pepper spray. It is illegal to do so in Massachusetts unless you have a permit.

[Miranda09]

Well I got up the courage to dress and go to the mailbox.
Broad daylight.
Mini skirt heels forms wig etc. etc.
Nobody around so it was not really a big deal.

Starting to think about asking for a "push".
Suggestions on how to celebrate my soon to be 100th friend.

Still scared.

Here's another push...BUT try to do it with a friend. You're less vulnerable that way. :)

[sissystephanie]

Lifes to friggin short to worry about what could happen... The truth is S*#t happens... Ya go to learn to deal with it and move forward... Nothings stopping me from dressing (except my damn busy ass schedule) and going where I want and doing what I want enfemme!! Bring it on!! Every days a new adventure!!

As always, the irrepressible Karren says it all! In very plain english!! Right on, Karren!

A CD for over 60 years, I have been in jail only once. It had nothing to do with my being a CD, not was I crossdressed at the time. It was an overnight stay for speaking my mind in court. The Judge agreed with my comment, about the other attorney, but still sentenanceed me to an overnight stay. I was in a cell with 5 other men, all of us overnighters. We just had fun telling stories. No one was going to do anything that might lead to a longer stay! Sorry, I don't have a copy of my mug shot!! That was 40 years ago!

[Fab Karen]

There are potential dangers out in the world. You potentially face them every time you go out as a guy. But you don't think about it much, you just go. So realize that, and don't let paranoia take hold because you're a T-girl.

[Alice Torn]

I was petrified, when i first went out, from a motel, drove around, went to several gas stations. The next night drove, and walked around, drove some , got stopped by a cop!! Just got warning on driving. Got up the next day, dressed, out and about, in public, ignoring my big fears. Always have gone solo. Be reasonably cautious. I did get jeered at, some, just ignored it.

[Ralph]

Some of us are perfectly content to dress under just the conditions you describe - doors locked and shades down. And you know what, that's fine by me. I have a need to wear dresses, not a need to be seen wearing dresses. My body's needs for soft clothing are satisfied just as easily from the comfort of my home as they would be tiptoeing out at midnight to check the mail or getting into a bar fight.

Bottom line -- if you aren't comfortable going out dressed, don't go out dressed. You are under no obligation to "take baby steps" or "push just a little further". Find the level that makes you happy. Anything else is too much like real work.

[DianneRoberts]

Scared to death, yes !
Do I enjoy scaring the living whatever out of myself, yes !
Do I like the feeling upon returning home that I just did something that i thought I was afraid to do, yes !

I don't skydive though.

[Karren H]

You have to skydive first!! At least once!! Doing anything after that pales in comparison to falling away from a perfectly good air plane at 3,500 feet... The silence is defening and when you get under canopy and start breathing again.... Its really really really cool!!

[DianneRoberts]

I am afraid to skydive.

Remember as a kid placing a blade of grass between your thumbs and blowing through it to make a whistling noise ?

Well you see I like to wear a thong and I'm afraid that if I skydive wearing a thong that....:o.... never mind.

[Karren H]

Ohh yeah.... I can see that could be an issue there... I was just worried about getting my chute acught on the planes tail or hitting the desert floor in 10 seconds if the cute failed to open... Lucky for me the whole thing cost less than a new pair of good heels so worst case my wife wasnt out much! Lol.

[Christina Nicole]

The other day I read "just got out of jail" OMG OMG OMG !

I cannot imagine how horrible that must of been !!!!!

I haven't dressed since, not even in the closet.
I don't know if I ever will again. I had plans of going further forward. This is so SCAREY. How can any of us ever dress again other than MAYBE with the doors deadbolted, windows closed up, lights off. I am shaking all over just thinking about how mean the world can be.

I've been out hundreds of times. Never been arrested or even had to talk to the police. But then again, never punched someone either. So, be a good girl and you'll be OK. Remember think as a woman.

Two of the worst things that I can think of that happened to me were relatively minor. Once I was driving out of the mall while my wife was driving into the parking lot. Oopsies! And once someone hit the rear of my car. It was only paint damage, so I let it go. The damage was less than my deductible, so it didn't make sense to fool around waiting for the police, explaining, getting the report, etc.

Oh, I don't know if you call this a bad thing... but my credit card is hurting a bit. The sales lady at Ann Taylor kept finding cute things for me to try on that were on sale. All sale items are also an extra 40% off, so it didn't hurt too much. Sizing is crazy though. Usually size 8 fits me fine. One jacket I tried on didn't fit in the 8, but the 10 fit fine. Then the 8 dress didn't fit either, but the sales lady came back with a two similar dresses in size 6 and they fit perfectly. She really knows her store's stock and her customers! A good day today, I guess.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[cd_jamie]

congratulations on 100 friends! I wouldn't worry about the pervert that assaulted Jenny. he got what he had coming. and he best be glad it wasn't my wife he did that to she would have shot him!!!! as far as weapons pepper spray and others please obey local laws. yes I am a gun toting NRA member.

[KarenCDFL]

I am not paranoid about going out but when I do I never go alone. My wife is always with me and we both make sure we have cash, Drivers's License's and only one of us is drinking. We take turns.

After years of this we have never had a problem.

Try to find someone to go with is my best suggestion for a safe time out.