Sherry-Stephanie
09-29-2009, 10:37 PM
You only have fear to fear ...
And I think that's true with us girls espcially those who are deciding on coming out....we tend to anguish about stepping out from behind those doors of our secure world...thinking we want to go out but we can't because we're fearful of stepping out or what others might think...
I was then but now after being out and about fro a few months it's getting to be no big deal..almost getting to be "normal" and that's scary in and of itself...
I'm now down in south Florida and I went out my second nite here with my two new roomates to a gay club...while there I talked to a woman there told her I was a Cder in casual conversation and asked if she knew any good hairdressers because I wanted to get some wigs styled ...long story short she comes over a short time later and gives me a card with a person's name & tells me he has a salon and does well at it. He's there at the club, so I go over intoduce myself talk a bit and tell him what I'm looking to do...he proceeds to tell me some stuff about cutting & styling wigs that he does so it appears he knows what he's talking about...so I tell him I'll call him and come in.
Today I call talk to him and he says I can come by his house if I want but I say I'm new in town and don't know my way around all that well...he tells me where his shop is and I know I can find that place....make the appointment and show up carrying my wig on a head across the parking lot like it's no big deal...walk in and tell the woman there that the 4:45 appointment has arrived...and she says "Oh the 4:45 appoint just arrived"..."That appointment"!!! so there must have been some discussion about me coming in. He comes out and takes me in back I put on the wig and he starts triming in some bangs...gets that done and asks me about "her" aka Stephanie...I tell him abit about her and then he tells me that he use to dress femme as well as drag...He takes the wig and he's going to wash and style it tomorrow. I got back out front and the girl starts talking to me about how I dress and all and I say I have pictures so I go get then from the car and come back in...and show her the pics...and she's like wow she looks very good...yes big difference....and she shows them to the the two guys...and they all now want me to come back as her....which if this wig comes out good after he washes it and sets it with hot curlers...I'll be back again with some more of my other wigs...but this whole thing was like it was no big deal....for anyone and no one is embarressed etc, including me...because of my previous experiences have built up my confidence...
So bottom line is yeah some people will talk but there's also a whole world out there that is OK with who we are...you just have to learn who they are and then walk in their world so it becomes your world as well...and you'll learn the finer points as well which will help you become more passable and acceptable....so you can move between the gay culture which is most accepting into the normal everyday culture as well...if you have you confidence down you'll do OK out there...
Yeah, don't plan on going to a biker bar and be overly welcome....there are limits as well as extremes....but there are places that we can go and everything is OK and normal as well...you just have to get up the nerve and walk into the water and enjoy and build your confidence...and once you do that there is no going back!!!!
Enjoy....and think about wht is holding you back and it's probably just one thing..."fear"????
And I think that's true with us girls espcially those who are deciding on coming out....we tend to anguish about stepping out from behind those doors of our secure world...thinking we want to go out but we can't because we're fearful of stepping out or what others might think...
I was then but now after being out and about fro a few months it's getting to be no big deal..almost getting to be "normal" and that's scary in and of itself...
I'm now down in south Florida and I went out my second nite here with my two new roomates to a gay club...while there I talked to a woman there told her I was a Cder in casual conversation and asked if she knew any good hairdressers because I wanted to get some wigs styled ...long story short she comes over a short time later and gives me a card with a person's name & tells me he has a salon and does well at it. He's there at the club, so I go over intoduce myself talk a bit and tell him what I'm looking to do...he proceeds to tell me some stuff about cutting & styling wigs that he does so it appears he knows what he's talking about...so I tell him I'll call him and come in.
Today I call talk to him and he says I can come by his house if I want but I say I'm new in town and don't know my way around all that well...he tells me where his shop is and I know I can find that place....make the appointment and show up carrying my wig on a head across the parking lot like it's no big deal...walk in and tell the woman there that the 4:45 appointment has arrived...and she says "Oh the 4:45 appoint just arrived"..."That appointment"!!! so there must have been some discussion about me coming in. He comes out and takes me in back I put on the wig and he starts triming in some bangs...gets that done and asks me about "her" aka Stephanie...I tell him abit about her and then he tells me that he use to dress femme as well as drag...He takes the wig and he's going to wash and style it tomorrow. I got back out front and the girl starts talking to me about how I dress and all and I say I have pictures so I go get then from the car and come back in...and show her the pics...and she's like wow she looks very good...yes big difference....and she shows them to the the two guys...and they all now want me to come back as her....which if this wig comes out good after he washes it and sets it with hot curlers...I'll be back again with some more of my other wigs...but this whole thing was like it was no big deal....for anyone and no one is embarressed etc, including me...because of my previous experiences have built up my confidence...
So bottom line is yeah some people will talk but there's also a whole world out there that is OK with who we are...you just have to learn who they are and then walk in their world so it becomes your world as well...and you'll learn the finer points as well which will help you become more passable and acceptable....so you can move between the gay culture which is most accepting into the normal everyday culture as well...if you have you confidence down you'll do OK out there...
Yeah, don't plan on going to a biker bar and be overly welcome....there are limits as well as extremes....but there are places that we can go and everything is OK and normal as well...you just have to get up the nerve and walk into the water and enjoy and build your confidence...and once you do that there is no going back!!!!
Enjoy....and think about wht is holding you back and it's probably just one thing..."fear"????