Nervous buying women's clothing?

[Michelle S]

Hi everyone! I have read many times about cross dressers telling sales associates that they are "looking for something for their wife/gf". I know how hard it was for me when I first started buying women's clothing and makeup. Well, here is an idea for the newbies. Get some practice by actually buying gifts for your wife or girlfriend or even your sister and mother. Buy your mom a nice twin set for Christmas! You'll get more comfortable in the women's clothing section and the women in your life will love you. :love:

[Karren H]

Every female on my Christmas list is getting a new 36C bra!! :)

[Nicole Smyth]

It's really hard for me to venture into the women's section in drab. Sometimes I think it maybe easier to buy clothing while dressed. Especially size 10 shoes. I mean who am I fooling when I walk to the register in drab with a ladies size 10?:o I guess I'll start making a list and checking it twice:D

[sissystephanie]

Better idea! Go into the ladies department and pick out something nice in your size. Then walk up to the SA, hold it up and say, "Do you think this will look good on me?" In my experience, the SA will laugh and say, "can I ring that up for you?" All they want to do is make a sale, they don't care who is going to be wearing that lacy negligee!!

BTW, I have done exactly what I described numerous times. The reactions I have had include one clerk telling me that she did not think that particular garment would look good on me and she picked out something else, which I did buy. Another one told me the color was wrong for me, and gave me a different color to look at. I did buy it. A good SA will do what it takes to make the sale!

[Barbara Jo]

Wether your buying for a GG or yourself should not make a difference.
Just pick out what you want and pay your money. It is really that simple.

Personally, I never had a problem buying female things.
I remeber when I was in jr high school and had to get a jock strap. I was so nervous and shy when getting it. The "funny" thing is, at that age I was already buying panties and bras, etc and having no qualms at all about it.
If I only knew then what I know now.....

Anway, if anyone does have any anxiety about buying female things, SA real don't care who it's for. They are just selling/collecting money for the owner.
If you are dealing with the owner, you will have to search far and wide to find a businees owner who does not want to sell to a CD/TG.

[nvlady]

Here's a secret way to make it easier.
Start with an empty cart, select a birthday card and put it in the cart, select the item you want to purchase, and take the item and the card to the register.
The checker will assume they go together.
Make a lot of friends that you can send birthday cards to.

[Samantha B L]

Many years ago I used to tell the sales ladies that the stuff I was buying was presents for my girlfreind,or my aunt,my cousin,my sister and visa versa. this girlfreind that i had in 1978 and 1979 used to go shopping with me and she got mad at me and told me I didn't have to tell sales personell so many cheezy stories that aren't even true and that if I just went ahead calmly and shopped they would almost definately sell me anything in the store no questions asked. she also told me to stop going into a panic and pleading with her to "tell the lady at the cash register it's for you so I won't have to take any flak". I haven't seen this girlfreind in years. We eventually drifted apart. I have found out that she was right and that actually most places are cool about CD customers. I'm usually a little nervous before I shop but the worst that ever happens is that the store is out of the item or items I was looking for.

[Kathi Lake]

Nervous? Whatever for?!

Look, we're not doing anything wrong. We're not doing anything illegal. We are doing something a bit out of the ordinary, but then again, who wants to be ordinary? I've met ordinary. I've been ordinary. No thank you.

I find that women are more perceptive than you would imagine. They can smell nervousness and fear (sometimes literally). When you say it's for your wife and/or girlfriend, they know it's not!! The SA's I have spoken with have told me that they feel less inclined to help when, as one put it, we don't "man up" and admit who it's for. If you want a skirt, go find a skirt! If you need to try it on (and you really should), ask. If they ask you to go to the men's department, go.

Come on, ladies. You can do this - not with subterfuge, lies, falsehoods or misdirection, but with the truth. You are a man that likes women's clothes. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that!

Kathi

[Nicole Erin]

It is best to just get over the nervous and buy the stuff. Other customers don't care, and the SAs don't care. Once in a blue moon some dumb-ass SA might make a stupid comment, either ignore it or snap at them.

[Leslie Langford]

...Especially size 10 shoes. I mean who am I fooling when I walk to the register in drab with a ladies size 10?:o I guess I'll start making a list and checking it twice:D

I used to feel the same way in the past, Nicole, but not any more. Look around you, and if you start keeping an eye out for the taller GG's who typically wear larger size clothes and shoes, you would be amazed at just how many of them are out there - especially among the younger ones. And as for older GG's, their feet tend to get larger and wider after childbirth and as they age, bringing them more into our size range as well.

I usually wear a Size 9 or 9 1/2 in a woman's shoe, and when I am in a shoe store with self-service racks, that's where all the action seems to be these days, and I practically have to elbow the GG's out of my way to get near the shoes. As for the other racks which carry Sizes 7 or 7 1/2 etc., you could practically shoot off a cannon in them and not hit anyone. Besides, time was when the largest ladies' shoe sizes most stores carried was Size 10, whereas now it's Size 11, so even the merchants realize now that their female clients are generally larger than previous generations.

So no, when you go to the cashier with your Size 10 ladies' shoes, they will likely think nothing of it at all.

[Chrissy8888]

I used to be nervous when I shopped always over the phone (before the internet). Once the advent of the internet I just shopped online which made it easier but it was a gamble on the fit and how it would actually look in person. Then last year I set out to go to a store, JC Penney’s and told the sales associate I was looking for things for my self. I went during the week so that the store was not busy. Wow the sales associate was friendly and helpful. I picked out a nice suit, dress, and day to day outfit. She would not let me leave without shoes. It went easy. Now I did have to go upstairs to the men’s dressing rooms to try stuff on but she actually helped me with that too. What a liberating experience. After that I had no problems. What I actually discovered and was told by the sales associate was that the key was to have a mission and do it.

[Amymonroe]

Thank you ladies for the encouraging comments about telling the truth. i will try that when i go home for mid tour leave. i've been doing a lot of internet buying, mostly Victoria Secrets,but that's because i know how their stuff fits. but now it is time to pay them a visit in person.

thanks, erin

[Hope]

It's really hard for me to venture into the women's section in drab. Sometimes I think it maybe easier to buy clothing while dressed. Especially size 10 shoes. I mean who am I fooling when I walk to the register in drab with a ladies size 10?:o I guess I'll start making a list and checking it twice:D

My wife, and Paris Hilton, (two distinctly different individuals) both wear size 11... you know they make those 10s for real GGs... who is to say your wife is not one of them? Not that I thimk you should have to concoct some story to buy your shoes, just be glad you aren't a 14.

[Stephenie S]

Ladies, ladies, ladies,

Please stop with the silly excuses, ridiculous stories, and sad fears of guilt and shame. This is ridiculous. You are afraid someone will make fun of you? Well, they are. When you tell the clerk, "This is for my "sister" who just "happens" to be the same size as me", she doesn't believe you for a minute. And now she's out in the back room giggling with her friend over another dumb excuse.

Listen girls, SA do this for a living. They are out there all day every day. They have heard EVERY sad, silly, excuse in the book. They don't believe ANY of them. You think you can come up with one that they haven't heard before? Yeah, get real!

The truth is - - -The FACT is - - - NONE of these dumb a*s stories is necessary!! SA are there to help you. They know ALL about you already. Guys buy women's stuff ALL THE TIME. Let the poor girl HELP you. When they come up and ask, "Can I help you?" say YES.

"I'm looking for a new skirt. Do you think this skirt suits me?"

Or better yet, shop for an OUTFIT. Alway shop for a whole "look". Tell her you are going out and need a new outfit. She will help you pick out things that go together.

I have repeated Kathi's post here because it is SO important. Read it again! Read it to yourself OUT LOUD. Remember it!

Nervous? Whatever for?!

Look, we're not doing anything wrong. We're not doing anything illegal. We are doing something a bit out of the ordinary, but then again, who wants to be ordinary? I've met ordinary. I've been ordinary. No thank you.

I find that women (read sales associates) are more perceptive than you would imagine. They can smell nervousness and fear (sometimes literally). When you say it's for your wife and/or girlfriend, they know it's not!! The SA's I have spoken with have told me that they feel less inclined to help when, as one put it, we don't "man up" and admit who it's for. If you want a skirt, go find a skirt! If you need to try it on (and you really should), ask. If they ask you to go to the men's department, go. Put it on, and go back and show her.

LET HER HELP YOU!

Come on, ladies. You can do this - not with subterfuge, lies, falsehoods or misdirection, but with the truth. You are a man that likes women's clothes. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that!

Kathi

It always amazes me to see and read how a man, a big strong MAN can be reduced to quivering jelly at the thought of someone finding out his "secret". Guess what? It ain't a secret anymore if you are shopping for women's clothes. Come on! Men are made of courage. Men are all about courage, right? Use some of it.

Shop for what you want. You are breaking no laws, neither God's nor man's. SA want to help you. Stores want to sell to you. If you want a new best friend, start piling clothes near the register.

If you want to stay in the closet, do so. There is NOTHING wrong with that. But if you want to go out and shop, do that too. But please shop WITHOUT these silly, useless, unbelievable, excuses. You are only embarrassing yourself.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[DanyaKay]

Put me on your Christmas list.

[Barbara918]

One time as I was browsing through the racks the salesclerk asked if she could be of some assistance ... I simply said, "Thank you, but not just yet. I know my sizes by now."

[Ashley_in_Texas]

I never have a problem buying clothes. I don't get asked if the items are for me. Usually, the only thing they ask me is "did you find everything ok?" or "will that be all for you today?" The only time I was ever asked if something was for me, was at a Kmart, when I bought my first pair of heels. The young girl at the register looked at the size 12 shoes, then looked at me and said "are these for you?" I said "Yea... does that matter?" she said "NO-no-no, it doesn't matter, I was just curious. Thank you, have a nice day" and gave me a wink.

[Amy Lynn3]

Why offer any excuse, just walk up to the register and pay for your item. If the SA ask who you are buying this for, ask her why she would like to know. Answer questions with questions. I have had male SA's ask me who I was buying for. I just ask them why do they want to know, one I ask why are you making a pass at me.
If the SA ask if they can help and you need it, allow them to help you. You will be much more pleased with the purchase you make.

[Starr]

I may have told this story before if so I am sorry, I was shopping at a Deb's store and bought several items from the plus size area.. when I was checking out two young ladies were at the counter. The one putting things in the bag ask if these were for my lady and the other one who had seen the sizes smiled and said "No, they are for him" and I smiled and said yes they were. I was told to have a nice day and I took my purchase and left.

[Nikki A.]

I used to get nervous especially when going into a store the first time. Not so much the shopping but worrying about running into someone I know, especially when shopping close to home.
But when I do go, I politely ask if they have a problem if it's for me and to this point I have had no problems, been treated as any other shopper and I do try them on there and even have asked for their opinions on fit and style. If dressed (very rarely) I don't even ask. they already know its for me. Funny story, in a Dress Barn the SA complemented my wig and then showed me that she was wearing hers also.

[k lynn]

I always tell the sa the clothes are for me.Just last week ordered two pair of vs no peek pantie jeans over the phone. When the sa asked and started talking about what size does she wear. I STOP HER and told her they are for me. She was surpissed by my truthfulnes but quickly recovered and finished helpin me. I AM sure I was probably talked about. But I am to old to make up stories. Besides next I am going to the mall to buy a new bra Like to shopfor bras in person.

[Sarah Michelle]

Wow, what a room full of strong women. I admit to being exceptionally nervous years ago when I was buying pantyhose and shoes. My very first skirt purchase scared me to death but that's me.
I have thought up all the same stories. Thankfully I never had to use them. Returns and exchanges still rattle me a bit though.

[Magickman]

" I would like a very short, spandex, denim mini-skirt to fit me, please. Size nine, I think."

Then I proceed to try it on. That is all it takes.

[Michelle S]

It is great that many don't need the idea I suggested. Some people here were able to just plunge right in. But there are shy or introverted people for whom this (buying women's clothes) is difficult at first. My idea was just to give them a baby step to ease into it.

People who have high anxiety in social situations are not necessarily weak. We are just wired differently from the extroverts. I, for example, have never had a problem with test anxiety. When I have a student who does have test anxiety or math phobia, I work with them to find concrete steps they can take to lower their anxiety.

Also, some of you may have missed the subtext of my post: it is a good idea to buy nice things for the GG's in your life. :eek: ;) ;) ;)

[daviolin]

I used to get sick to my stomach going shopping for new outfits and and the like. I would be a nervous wreck. Practice Practice Practice. That's my motto. Now it's just a lot of fun shopping almost as much as dressing.

[JennyS.]

When I bought the dress below from a Discount store, the SA said "that's a pretty dress". I said "yeah, you think it'll fit?" She said "If it doesn't, just bring it back."
You are probably never going to see or remember the SA's, and they won't remember you. They see hundreds of people a day, they don't care whether the dress is for you or not. Really.

[Ashley_in_Texas]

Easy way out... Self checkout at WalMart. Lol

[Cary]

Every female on my Christmas list is getting a new 36C bra!! :)

Can I get on that list?

[Cary]

When I bought the dress below from a Discount store, the SA said "that's a pretty dress". I said "yeah, you think it'll fit?" She said "If it doesn't, just bring it back."
You are probably never going to see or remember the SA's, and they won't remember you. They see hundreds of people a day, they don't care whether the dress is for you or not. Really.

Great outfit and advice!

[SheriM]

Personally, I would find it harder to purchase and be face to face with a clerk while enfemme. I don't feel that I can pass so it's just plain embarrassing. If I am wearing fem clothing but not trying to pass, it doesn't bother me. There are no surprises. As I write this, it is hard to understand the why's of this question.
Sheri

[Kerigirl2009]

For me it is simple if I am going to seriously go shopping for myself, I may get a little sweaty at first, but I just wipe my brow and then start to search the racks for what I think I would like to wear. However I usually don't do too much shopping unless it is around the holidays or my wifes birthday. But the last time I got to go shopping I was with my wife. Extremely fun I loved it.:)

[tanya1976]

I saw a great top the other day, and miracle of miracles it was in my size but I the crowds put me off so I hesitated. Finaly plucked up the courage and went back today but it was gone...:sad: There's a lesson here somewhere...

[StaceyJane]

I went shopping at a Dress Barn that was very TG friendly once. The manager took one look and immediately knew my size. she then picked out a bunch of clothes for me to try on. Best shopping day ever!
My advice would be to contact a local Ti-ess group and ask for help like I did.
I was told where a good place to go was and someone from the group even met me there to give me a little encouragement.

[Ms Mira]

I did / still get nervous enough that there's not much chance I could get away with any of the mother / sister / girlfriend excuses.

[PretzelGirl]

Easy way out... Self checkout at WalMart. Lol

I find it easier sometimes just because it can be quicker. But you do realize that the SA by the computer is seeing everything that is getting rung up on all the self-checkout stations? I bought make-up for my daughter once and used the self checkout. The SA gave me this smirk as I was walking by. Certainly was an urge to say "this time it really is for her!". :D

[Fab Karen]

Every female on my Christmas list is getting a new 36C bra!! :)
This'll really get your daughter saying "you're so weird!" ( especially if she's not 36C ):)

[Jaclyn NM]

I just go into the store, and buy whatever I want, without telling the clerk who it's for, because, afterall, it's none of their business. I've never had a problem, and I think that's because I'm comfortable in what I'm doing, and I don't care what the clerk might think. It works for me!

[Barbara Jo]

I just go into the store, and buy whatever I want, without telling the clerk who it's for, because, afterall, it's none of their business. I've never had a problem, and I think that's because I'm comfortable in what I'm doing, and I don't care what the clerk might think. It works for me!

Tha's it in a little pink nut shell! :)

[suchacutie]

We are all so close to this issue. Maybe I just have been incredibly lucky:

My first shopping trip for Tina was with my wife, who was taking us out to buy a skirt and thigh highs. The choice was totally my wife's as this was all new to me. She picked out a short skirt (incredibly short, actually), held it up to me and proclaimed it should fit nicely. We then went to a different section and picked out some stockings. When we go to the checkout I paid and off we went. No one bothered us and I just filed it away.

So now when I'm in a store like Target or any other large general store, I see no reason not to purchase thigh highs, or peruse the racks for tops or even bras. After all, if I get asked if I need help I can just say, "no thank you, I'm just looking", or "I'm ok". If I'm asked who I'm looking for, it depends how far from home I am. I'm I'm traveling I have no problem saying it's for me. If I want to try something on and I'm in drab, I just take it into the men's fitting rooms.

Just seems so normal!

tina

[tiffanytrapt19]

Wow, lol I wish I would have read this post before I bought my own stuff, I'm somewhat comfortable buying now, but ooooh man was I nervous the first time.

[Adelaide]

Since my wife did not (and still doesn't) agree at all with my CDing, I had to do it all on my own.

Not being an expert, I had to learn everything from scratch! What I did is that I pretended to be invited to a party where women had to be dressed as men ... and men as women!
SAs really got excited about this unusual type of party and more than welcome the opportunity to help me! I would always say (when leaving a store) that if I had the chance, I would come back and show them what I look like as Adelaide...

I had the opportunity to do just that on a few occasions. One lady didn't recognized me and greeted me like a woman (the best compliment ever!) until I told her who I was. She was stunned and couldn't believe it. Another one recognized the clothes she had sold me and congratulated me on my fine looks.

I tell you, I felt like a million bucks!

Nowadays, I also go shopping when dressed...but still use this "excuse" from time to time when seeing great clothes...while wearing men clothes!

A.

[Josie M]

I'm a lousy liar....I either say nothing or tell them it's for me.

On the other hand, it's now October, you can always go the Halloween costume route...

[Josie M]

actually, I can't say that I've *never* had a sales person give me grief about it, but, in those cases, I just don't complete the purchase. The majority of times though, it's a total non-issue.

[trannie T]

It is too late. Each time a man purchases any item of femanine apparel it is reported to the Transvestite Police. They know who you are, they know where you live and some day in the future your crossdressing will be reported to everyone you knew in high school.

Your excuses mean nothing to the Transvestite Police.

Just relax and enjoy shopping, you are the only one who really cares what you buy.

[Brianna in Hose]

I have never had any odd comments from sales clerks when I have bought pantyhose. Today I had a fellow customer comment she had a hard time finding hose in her size she couldn't imagine trying to find them for me. I replied its not that hard probably about the same size you wear. I have yet to buy anything else. Most of my clothes are things that I have gotten out of my mom's Goodwill bags.

[SuzanneBender]

One time as I was browsing through the racks the salesclerk asked if she could be of some assistance ... I simply said, "Thank you, but not just yet. I know my sizes by now."

I am going to use that one next time I go shopping!

[cd_jamie]

I have bought clothing for my wife and my daughter so buying clothing is not a issue. if you cant get up the nerve to go to the store there is always the internet!:2c:

[Tina2]

If I want to try something on and I'm in drab, I just take it into the men's fitting rooms.

Do you take bras into the men's fitting room?

[Fab Karen]

It is too late. Each time a man purchases any item of femanine apparel it is reported to the Transvestite Police. They know who you are, they know where you live and some day in the future your crossdressing will be reported to everyone you knew in high school.

Your excuses mean nothing to the Transvestite Police.


But of course the Transvestite Police can be found shopping in the same stores & sections as you, so there's nothing to fear.:)

[Sarah Michelle]

o.k. I have to jump in here. I read all these posts yeaterday. When I have been shopping for clothes I always have a story ready but I'm never asked. Emboldened by the powerful women on this site I returned some clothes yesterday and went shopping for new shoes.
Payless unfortunately has the women's size 11 in the same aisle but on the opposite side to the men's 13 & 14. So into the aisle I go, determined to try the shoes on before I buy this time until more 250 lbs of unshaven unfit mass in flip-flops and sweats comes into the aisle and starts rummaging through the work boots. Needless to say; my resolve dissolved. Oh well.

[JenniferAnnCd]

Like many of you I was also nervous about shopping for clothing. I used to buy items around the hollidays and said it was a present for my wife. I also used the excuse of birthdays and other important events. Recently I started shopping without using any excuses and bought items with confidence. The SAs usually comment on how much they like the item I pick out and are very nice.




Jennifer Ann

[Sarah Michelle]

I've read all these posts and even commented. I wasn't entirely convinced of the validity of some of the comments. However, I have been looking for a new dress for the past few days so I have been in and out of the same stores more than once, always in male attire.
Today I narrowed my choice down to one or two in a Jones New York store but size being what it can be I asked if the sale was final [it was on sale]. The clerk, a woman of my own age, said no and without a flicker of anything unusual, asked if I wanted to try it on before I decided.
She floored me, I said I would take my chances if I could bring it back and my faith in the comments here just went up incredibly.......

[Kristy 56]

Personally at this stage I would've accepted the offer and tried it on. First of all,you'd know if it fit,and saved a trip back.Secondly,she probably would've told you if it looked ok or not,and helped you find something else if it didn't. Most importantly you would've begun to cultivate a relationship with a SA who will make your future shopping experiences VERY pleasant.Make sure when you go back you seek her out.You won't be sorry IMHO.

[missandra]

I have told sales people that it is for my self . Most of the time you just get the looks . Bras are my prob as i am a big man with a 48 inch chest so DDs
are the norm . Shoes are my problem hard to find a heal in 15 wide . But just love to dress .

[missandra]

I have told sales people that it is for my self . Most of the time you just get the looks . Bras are my prob as i am a big man with a 48 inch chest so DDs
are the norm . Shoes are my problem hard to find a heal in 12 wide . But just love to dress .

[Aeval]

All of this is still so new to me...but I do have one story.
I went into my local "adult" shop looking for my first pair of shoes. I thought that maybe it wouldn't feel as strange since I was sure they'd handled these things with discretion many times before. I was just going to go in, pick out a pair I liked and ask for MY size. But when I got in and saw the young college guy behind the counter, I panicked. I eventually asked him for a pair of shoes in a size ten, but I pretended to confer with my girlfriend over the phone, asking her if I'd gotten the right size. I felt pretty awful after leaving...until I got home and tried them on for the first time. That definitely helped!

[lingerieLiz]

I was helping my wife find a special bra that she wanted. Yes, she knows I wear them and have more of them than her. She had stopped to look at robes. The sales people were ignoring me as I wondered around the different racks. So I walked over and asked the three of them (all seniors) if they had what I was looking for. Not a single one of them appeared shocked or cared who it was for. After a brief discussion (it was obvious that I new a lot about bras and the band size I requested was about the same as mine) one of the associates led me to a rack that had what I was looking for. She asked color and began showing me options. At that point my wife walked up. The associate looked confused for a moment until she realized it was for my wife and not for me.

Just go and relax the sales people really don't care. I've purchased women's clothing all over the world, in the US, in big cities, and in small towns. In only the rarest of cases have I had any sales person be surprised or care.

[playfullprincess]

hey NVlady just wanted to say thanks for your advice in this thread on putting a birthday card into the basket, I went shopping today and put a card in my basket and went looking at new undergarments (something that makes me feel the most arkward in a shop.) but sure enough just having a card sitting in a basket to assist a "im looking for a present" story gave me so much confidence, to the point that after I got what I was after, I went looking at dvds :D THANK YOU SOOO MUCH :hugs:

[Michelle-Leigh]

I am not nearly as timid as I used to be when buying clothes, lingerie and makeup. I just take my time to find what I want, and if it is a clothing or lingerie item, I calmly go to the appropriate male or unisex dressing room and check the fit, with an air of confidence. I have never even encountered so much as a strange look from a SA or customer, and only once did a rather talkative cashier comment on a purchase; she just gave me a knowing smile and asked me if I was sure that the pantyhose I was buying would fit. Faint heart never won fair wardrobe ! The only real concern I have when shopping is some difficulty in finding just the right size and style of panties and bras at these bargain dollar stores in my area....

[angpai30]

In my experiences I would go get mens shirts and then go get some womens dresses and skirts; I would then head to the dressing room with the mens shirts out and cover the bottom with the clerk counter I would ask to go in and they would let me in. One clerk asked me if I would be long with the dress and if I needed help selecting new ones if these ones didn't fit. I politely told her no thank you and she left. My first time buying dresses though I did have a sales clerk approach me and ask if I needed help and immediately I told her they weren't for me and she said "Yeah Right". I work in retail people and really it makes no difference who is purchasing what items. The checker doesn't know you and really doesn't care where what you are buying goes. What you are doing is thinking of the SA as your best friend and they have known you since kindergarten. Oh no what will they say, what will they think? In matter of fact I think to myself "heh another crossdresser comming through my line. I hope they have fun with that new dress and heels they are buying or I wish I could dress with them". Who knows the SA may also be a Crossdresser as well. The point I am making is we all spend a little to much time worrying and not living. I recommend maybe reading this book "How to stop worrying and start living" done by Dale Carnegie; it really is an awesome book.

[angpai30]

I would also suggest reading his other book "How to win friends and influence people" done by Dale Carnegie

[Jess81CD]

just to put in my experience. I've bought lingerie for GF's since i was about 19. I always get the impression these days that the assistant assumes it's for someone else anyway so there's no reason to be nervous.

Plus the usual addition of "if she doesn't like it i can bring it back right?" usually is enough just to calm my own nerves more than anything.

[Sara82]

I still don't have the courage to go in to a strictly women's store to browse/try things on, unless im with my gf. So i keep to large department stores and unisex stores if im alone.

[Carly D.]

Ladies, ladies, ladies,

Please stop with the silly excuses, ridiculous stories, and sad fears of guilt and shame. This is ridiculous. You are afraid someone will make fun of you? Well, they are. When you tell the clerk, "This is for my "sister" who just "happens" to be the same size as me", she doesn't believe you for a minute. And now she's out in the back room giggling with her friend over another dumb excuse.

Listen girls, SA do this for a living. They are out there all day every day. They have heard EVERY sad, silly, excuse in the book. They don't believe ANY of them. You think you can come up with one that they haven't heard before? Yeah, get real!

The truth is - - -The FACT is - - - NONE of these dumb a*s stories is necessary!! SA are there to help you. They know ALL about you already. Guys buy women's stuff ALL THE TIME. Let the poor girl HELP you. When they come up and ask, "Can I help you?" say YES.

"I'm looking for a new skirt. Do you think this skirt suits me?"

Or better yet, shop for an OUTFIT. Alway shop for a whole "look". Tell her you are going out and need a new outfit. She will help you pick out things that go together.

I have repeated Kathi's post here because it is SO important. Read it again! Read it to yourself OUT LOUD. Remember it!

Nervous? Whatever for?!

Look, we're not doing anything wrong. We're not doing anything illegal. We are doing something a bit out of the ordinary, but then again, who wants to be ordinary? I've met ordinary. I've been ordinary. No thank you.

I find that women (read sales associates) are more perceptive than you would imagine. They can smell nervousness and fear (sometimes literally). When you say it's for your wife and/or girlfriend, they know it's not!! The SA's I have spoken with have told me that they feel less inclined to help when, as one put it, we don't "man up" and admit who it's for. If you want a skirt, go find a skirt! If you need to try it on (and you really should), ask. If they ask you to go to the men's department, go. Put it on, and go back and show her.

LET HER HELP YOU!

Come on, ladies. You can do this - not with subterfuge, lies, falsehoods or misdirection, but with the truth. You are a man that likes women's clothes. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that!

Kathi

It always amazes me to see and read how a man, a big strong MAN can be reduced to quivering jelly at the thought of someone finding out his "secret". Guess what? It ain't a secret anymore if you are shopping for women's clothes. Come on! Men are made of courage. Men are all about courage, right? Use some of it.

Shop for what you want. You are breaking no laws, neither God's nor man's. SA want to help you. Stores want to sell to you. If you want a new best friend, start piling clothes near the register.

If you want to stay in the closet, do so. There is NOTHING wrong with that. But if you want to go out and shop, do that too. But please shop WITHOUT these silly, useless, unbelievable, excuses. You are only embarrassing yourself.

Lovies,
Stephenie


And then Christmas time comes and they could care less.. they are busy, they are tired, and they have other things more important on their minds such as their boyfriends/husbands/girlfriends (whatever) and or they are tired from the night before (hung over) and can only count the minutes till their next cig break..

[sherri52]

I'm all for the direct approach. Pick out what you want and buy it. If the SA asks tell her thier for you. She'll get a kick out of it and you will be more relaxed, now that it's done.

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm all for the direct approach. Pick out what you want and buy it. If the SA asks tell her thier for you. She'll get a kick out of it and you will be more relaxed, now that it's done.



Great post babe. :) :battingeyelashes:

[DaisyG]

I wear bifocals; can see only poorly without them. I have heretofore put up with the crummy look I have when dressed but have to wear my regular glasses. I wanted something better.

Recently, in drab I walked into the optical dept. of a major retailer, new prescription in hand, and was promptly greeted by a young SA. She was a bit shy and obviously quite new on the job, but most eager to help. She helped me select a no-nonsense male style frame like I needed for the office & shop, and duly wrote up the order.

At that point I said she was only half done. Telling her "I also do drag" I said I wanted the same prescription done in a classy feminine frame. Obviously this sort of thing was completely new to the young lady; she was totally flummoxed by my request. She tried to convince herself "this is for your wife, isn't it?", or to come up with some other circumstance she could believe. I have to suspect I am the first crossdresser she has ever encountered, at least face to face on a one-to-one basis.

When my SA got past that initial shock, to her credit she was again most helpful in selecting frames I think will really help my appearance. I pick them up this weekend.

Although my SA surely had a new experience, I did as well. I willingly admit that bras, skirts or dresses I buy are for me, but only if directly asked. This marks the first time I have ever clearly stated up front that I'm buying any feminine item for myself.

Daisy :)

[Charla McBee]

If I can think of something to say that gets me off the hook, I'll do it but I still have a hard time avoiding visibly shaking as I hand over the cash. I still don't know what Im afraid of after several uneventful efforts.

Most recently, I had to exchange one school girl costume for another with a male cashier and then he needed some contact info to complete the transaction even though I paid cash. Somehow I kept my cool. When I grabbed the original one that didn't fit at all, I merely asked if they had an exchange policy and got what I wanted, "if it doesn't fit her, you can exchange it by the 17th." :heehee:

That took me back to my 2nd shoe purchase when I got, "at least I know they're not for you" and "I hope she enjoys them." I know some people around here prefer honesty but I went to the brink of madness before I made my first purchase earlier this year. Right now, I'd prefer the sales clerks think whatever they and I are both comfortable with. My fictional girlfreind has my exact shoe and dress size!

[Barbara918]

The day I overcame my nervousness happened several years ago when I went into a shoe store and saw, clearly posted between the men's section and the women's section, a size-conversoin chart!

[Paula_56]

Nicole- I ordered a pair of size 12 pimps at payless for halloween yesterday, as soo as I emintioned halloween it seemed to break the tension

[Paula_56]

Honesty is the best policy, it seems to clear the air when you fess up, very few SA's get upset and if they do moveon

[Brenda's Friend]

First, I'm cheep. It is hard for me to justify buying something I wont wear normally. So, I have never got up my nerve to buy something nice. I go into thrift stores, and I am aware of everyone in the store, but I believe that they for the most part are unaware of me. I have a hard time, I go in a lot and don't even look. Why am I such a wimp?

[msginaadoll]

I have gotten better through the years. I will now go into the dressing rom at the salvation army to try on the clothes before i buy. It sure has saved me some money and the heartache of coming home with a cool outfit and it wont fit.

[VS Fan]

Easy way out... Self checkout at WalMart. Lol

Yes, I have done that many times... although when it's busy it can be almost as bad.. especially if something isn't scanning right and you get a line forming behind you and the monitor person gets involved.

Mostly though I just take whatever I have up to the register/counter whatever and when they ask "did you find everything you need/ were looking for?" I just say "yep, thanks!"... and when the gift receipt question comes up I just say "no thanks" since when I really am buying for my wife I don't get a gift receipt... so it's more natural.

I haven't encountered anyone asking if the items are for me... not sure how I'll handle that one, but everyone's stories here certainly give me confidence that I'll be just fine! ;)

VS Fan

[weekend woman]

Once at Target I picked out a linen skirt set and took it into the men's dressing room as I was in drab except for my 3in heeled loafers. Tried on the clothes and went into the hallway to see how the outfit looked in the 3way mirror, then proceeded to the entrance of the dressing rooms and asked a woman waiting for a room what she thought of the outfit. She looked at me up and down, thought for about 30 seconds and " Not bad, not bad at all " made my day.

[Sally2005]

The only part that I don't like about shopping these days is when the SA makes any assumption about what you are buying something for... could be car parts even...its just none of their business. If you need a story, then use one... I think the SA should be profffessional enough to go along with what ever you tell them if they believe it or not. But, it does make it easier if you are open with them because then you are working towards a common goal.

[joaniek]

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to buying fem clothes... first - I have yet to get someone to believe I'm buying gifts for an amazon East German "girlfriend". Mail order and on-line saves me the experience. Once in awhile, though, I'll see a pair of tights I have to have ... then I just buy them. Can't pull that off yet w/ shoes and outfits. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

[Janine cd]

I've been buying female outfits for myself for the last 35 years. My first purchase of a nylon nightie was a little scary, but I soon overcame the anxiety. I've learned to enter the women's section of stores with confidence and expertise. If a particular garment is not in my size or color, I am confident enough to approach a sales associate and seek assistance.
I have never been questioned about my selections, even when inquiring if a particularly attractive pair of 3-inch heels comes in size 11W!
I am by nature a shy person, but I've learned to overcome all shyness when dealing with sales people,especially females.

[Yazna]

For me the best is shopping in Line...as Ebay...Sears and many others...I love it!

[Kasey66]

im totally nervous about it, but i try once in awhile still.

[Kathi Lake]

Nicole- I ordered a pair of size 12 pimps at payless for halloween yesterday, as soo as I emintioned halloween it seemed to break the tensionGee, I didn't know they came in sizes. :lol:

Kathi

[Barbara918]

Kathi, I saw that post also ... wasn't sure if it was a typo or if Paula is really Inspector Clouseau.