Going out, to find out who u REALLY r!

[docrobbysherry]

For two years, I've been reading, and receiving posts here, about girls going out dressed and meeting others! I've thot about it many times, and didn't think that was for me!:sad:

I've also been trying to figure out what kind of CD/TG I am. And I'd NEVER met another CD/TG/TS, until last week!:eek:

Then, I went to the SCC! Besides meeting some of the NICEST people on the planet, (many of whom happen to be CDs), I found answers to many of my questions!:D

After this experience, I FIRMLY believe that no matter what kind of CD/TG/TS u think u r, u SHOULD go out dressed, and meet other Tgirls!:hugs:

Here's a chance for u EXPERIENCED girls to tell all us CLOSET DWELLERS, what going out and meeting other girls did for u! Please skip the posts about going to the corner market and buying milk!:brolleyes:

What I'm looking for is; Life altering experiences, going out with other girls!:)


PS: ( If you're interested in my SCC experiences, read my post in, " Out and about", here).:heehee:

[Persephone]

It is always enjoyable to get together with others who share common interests, be they religion, sports, hobbies, political passions, or crossdressing.

The various groups and conventions are likely to prove to be awesome experiences, particularly for the "closeted." A chance to dress in a relaxed environment, hang with others and learn a great deal, not to mention an opportunity, if appropriate, for spouses to share experiences.

I am pretty much "out and about," so I tend to hang with GG friends more than I do with CD's, but just yesterday as it happens I spent the day with another member of this forum (I don't have her permission to reveal her name, so I won't).

We got together at about 11:30 a.m. at her incredibly beautiful home where I met her and her spouse for the first time. Both are warm and lovely people and we found that we had a lot of other interests beyond CD'ing in common.

Then she and I, both dressed in skirts, headed for one of the local art museums where we had a light lunch and wandered through the museum and the surrounding gardens.

It was an absolutely beautiful day, the sun was shining but it wasn't too warm. Our chatter ranged from the amazing collection of art to sharing our feelings about our CD'ing and many other topics as well.

I've always said that CD's get read in proportion to the square of their number, so two CD's are likely to be read four times as often as just one, three are nine times as likely, etc. But I did not notice one "read" or awkward glance at us throughout the day. We were just two women enjoying a beautiful day at a beautiful venue.

I believe I've found some new friends and I most certainly hope that they feel the same.

Hope that helps to answer your question.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[JennyS.]

My first was to a local club. I was so nervous, then I met my new friend Erica. I got all decked out, best I could... and went to the place by myself. I sat there with a drink on the table when Erica walked up and said "Jenny?" After a brief conversation, Lacey showed up. We ended up playing pool, talking, and basically having a great time. After that experience, it was a piece of cake to go out. However, I still dress in the car on a deserted road, if it's daylight.

[Karren H]

I totally disagree that everyone must go out!! I really didn't need "going out and meeting others" to help me define who I was.. Yeah its fun but I was the same person before and after.. Did get to try on an amazing wedding that a local friend had!! That in it self was worth going out for... For me I think that staying home all dressed up just got too boreing... And going out looked exciting!! And it is!! Real exciting!! But so was skydiving and playing ice hockey!! What I like to do doesn't define who I am.. Just what I like to do...

[charlie]

Going out may not define who I am, but it definitely is much better then getting all dressed up and then sitting at home watching TV! Going out and dining, meeting others for drinks, pool and fun is closer to who I am. Whether in male mode or female mode I like to get out of the house and join others. Meeting other CD's while out has generated bonding and some good friends.

[deja true]

I kinda agree with Karren, that not everyone should go out, if they really don't need to. For some the fear is just too overwhelming. It was for me for many decades.

But, as you've found out, DRS, it may seem possible to read and attempt to learn all you can about our issues, but nothing can take the place of face to face conversations with others whether they have anything to teach you or not. It's that up close and personal interaction that can help you validate for yourself who you really are. It makes no difference if the conversation is philosophically stimulating or just a comparison of lipstick brands, the normalcy of the prescence of another living, breathing human being helps us shed our fears like an annoying, scratchy snake skin.

Don't go out if you don't feel the need ... but meeting others in the flesh is, for many, a wonderful path towards self-realization ... (if that's what you want!).:)

[RoxieInWa]

I enjoy reading all these posts on this subject. A lot of you have already taken that big step. And I can identify with those of you who havent yet.

I have a great desire to go out and enjoy the things in life that bring me joy, dressed as I want and being who I want, when I want....or can. So to that end I am working towards going out the front door! My wife and I have the look down pretty good now with the only shortcoming being we have to use my natural 30" long hair with a scarf covering my bald head until we decide on a wig.

So tonight.....we are taking the trash out. Literally. That requires walking out the Apt, down an outside flight of stairs where smokers congregate at the bottom, and then walking a 1/4 block down the parking lot to the garbage dumpsters. Then walking back. There is a high risk of at least being seen but not recognized....unless my son is out for a walk then! :o

Might have to wait an hour or two...pretty busy out there now :eek:

[Pattie O]

I have over the last 12 months become more interested in going out.I have been trying to gradually build up a wardrobe and I must say that I am dying to go out dressed but I have social restraints and family commitments that are my first priority.I would really love to go to a ball that happens once a year in my city and it looks as though I'll miss it again this year but I do feel committed to attending it some time in the future when circumstances allow.I suppose the desire to do this is part of who I so need to be-me!

Pattie:daydreaming::battingeyelashes:

[docrobbysherry]

I have over the last 12 months become more interested in going out.I have been trying to gradually build up a wardrobe and I must say that I am dying to go out dressed but I have social restraints and family commitments that are my first priority.I would really love to go to a ball that happens once a year in my city and it looks as though I'll miss it again this year but I do feel committed to attending it some time in the future when circumstances allow.I suppose the desire to do this is part of who I so need to be-me!

Pattie:daydreaming::battingeyelashes:

Pattie, I'll bet if u found a girlfriend, or two, to go with u, u'd have more FUN there! And the support from each other to get ready and actually GO! :)

PLEASE don't let your life go by without doing these things that u DESIRE TO TRY! The regrets when you're older, and sorry u DIDN'T try them, r REALLY unnecessary! Remember, you're NOT hurting anyone when u go to an event dressed!:thumbsup:

[Misty G]

Going to a group meeting and meeting others dressed is always a lot of fun. But the best time I ever had was taking a ten day vacation with out taking any guy clothes at all on the trip. Everything my wife and I did and every where we went I was dressed what a blast.

[angpai30]

I went out a few times!! I really didn't like the feeling of men looking at me sexually because I'm not gay. In fact I am happily married with 2 children with a religious background. I feel that if I were to wear a longer dress and actually put makeup on I would pass without a doubt. Though when I went out on halloween dressed as a woman, I went to work and cashiered. Every woman was jealous of me on the front because so many guys asked for my name and number, but they told them they didn't want to ask this girl out because I wasn't a real girl. I thought that funny, but yet quite sickening. I have a very weak stomach; I had a hernia about a year ago and I almost fainted in the doctors office just from him telling me about hernias and showing me pictures!! The movie willow I will not do because I throw up every time I watch it; Eeeew when the men get turned into pigs gets me every time.

[Sally2005]

I sum it up a little differently. It is all about facing your fears and accompishing some life goals (The ones you wish you had done when you are taking your last breath in life). What I discovered after doing these things, which are not 'terrible terrible things' by the way... is how to accept myself for who I am and my entire life has improved since. It seems, a lot of the shyness and fears I had in my everyday life are gone after I've gone out CDing. I now understand, I'm only a recreational CDer (no desire to do full time) and also I accompished some goals that I would regret not ever trying. So whatever question you need to answer...find a way to experience it!

[crusadergirl]

I haven't been out in a year are close to it, besides going outside near my house a few times this year. I have the desire to do more then that but just haven't done it. Maybe one day that will change and i will have some fun going out.

[Jonianne]

"Going out, to find out who u REALLY r!"

Hi Doc, going out dressed actually helped settle me as who I am, as far as whether I am CD/TG/TS. Even though there is a major part of me that wishes I was born female, I have never desired to change my status and live as a female 24/7. Going out dressed is neat and I go out maybe 4 or 5 times a year, but I don't want to live that way. I would not have really known that unless I had gone out.

The only person I have gone out with has been my wife (although I did go to tri-ess meetings, too), she was the one who helped me find the courage by saying "Joni needs to feel the sun on her face" and then proceded to take me out. I would love to go to the SCC someday and meet many from here, but for me dressing is a "treat" and trying to live as a female any more than that, just doesn't work for me.

Like what Sally2005 said, going out dressed also opened a new door of finding self-acceptance and discovering that even though I don't pass and others obviously see me as a crossdresser, the world doesn't come to an end, they don't even freak out. Usually when they notice, they just smile and go on. That has built my self-acceptance and self-confidence to the point of really being OK if others know I am a crossdresser. I don't have to worry something terrible, that others may find out. Life is much more peaceful that way.

[TxKimberly]

My first time out would have been around 1995. I had just found the internet and found out that I was far from alone. Not only that, but I discovered that there was a "friendly" club not far from me called 'Bout Time. I drive by the place probably half a dozen times, even parked there once or twice, but I just couldn't pull up the courage to go in. At about the same time, I met a Tgirl named Donna online, and a TS from Ft Hood and we spent hours chatting online over many months. Eventually Donna, the only one of the three of us that had been out, convinced us to meet her at 'Bout Time. My wife was with me, the TS from Ft Hood had her wife with her as well, and it was nothing short of a magical night. I night when I first met others like me face to face. A night where I found out that being a CD could be filled with fun and wonder, instead of fear and shame. A night where I discovered TG's were not just people, but most were damn fine people. My friend Donna died of cancer not long after helping me get out of the house and I still miss her deeply. She was a damn fine lady . . .

[Suzy Harrison]

When you say that some will never go out because of the fear -well sometimes your frustration is enough to over come that fear. Up to 30 months ago I had never been out in public (apart from a quick walk at night) - so things can and do change.