Samantha B L
10-03-2009, 01:52 AM
I guess I'll post this in m to f cdrsing 'cause I don't know where else to post it. I'm pretty sure I'll get through the next three or four weeks but the time will be kind of nerve wracking. As I've mentioned in the forum my Mom is being moved from our apartment in senior/disabled housing in River Falls,WIS to my Sister's new 3 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn Park,MINN just outside of Minneapolis. Mom is getting older, She's 88 years old and when she converses at length her logic and memory orientation have been a little bit jumbled in the past 5 or 6 years even though she DOES NOT have alzheimer's or any kind of serious mental problems. And since about 2003 or 2004 she uses a cane and whenever she leaves the building she is in a wheelchair or on a walker.
She will have her own bedroom at my sister's place and I will still see her at least once a week and I'll probably talk to her at least once a day on my cell phone. In a way I'm pleased because my sister works in a medical related feild and she can moniter Mom better than I ever could. But it's a little sad because Mom says she'll miss Rover and Me. Rover is a very small miniature American Eskimo crossed with Lancashire Heeler who we rescued from a humane society in Eastern Central Illinois. I tell Mom she shouldn't be sad because my Sister's apartment complex is downright luxorious with a gourmet resturaunt and golfcourse and several swimming pools and hottubs and exercise trails. Mom will have her Green telephone and cable TV in her room.
I will have this very nice apartment in this senior/disabled complex to myself and I will finally be reaching a time in my life when I can dress practically everyday provided I don't go out on the grounds en fem. One thing though. I have a colonoscopy coming up. I know that sounds like so much whiplash but I am a little bit concerned that just as Mom is being involved in this move I just might have to go in and maybe have some polyps removed or something. Therby complicating all of this flurry of activitys coming up for me and my family. I had one of these colonoscopy exams before and they didn't give me any anesthetic AND they found some slight growths or polyps but I had to scuttle the whole damn thing because this was at a place they call the "poor people's clinic" in Champaign,Illinois. Not only did I have NO WAY of meeting the medicare co-pay deductable it was costing me $600 and $800 everytime I went in that clinic and it took me months to pay the bills.
This time out I have a medicare spenddown which pays the bill which is a releif but the unnerving thing is that I don't want to be flat on my back in bed while all my stuff gets rummaged through in my drawers,closet,shelves. Of course,I tell myself that surely my sister is smart enough to know that if I'm semi-involuntarily moved out of Wisconsin to Minnesota I will lose my Wisconsin Medicare Spenddown. the spenddown she helped arrange for me. I think if i had to spend a few days in the River Falls Hospital she would know that. I guess all this is speculation but I've got a lovely Ronnie Spector Wig being handmade for me and I don't want all this botched up! Actually,I don't think my sister and nephew would rummage through my things and at this stage of the game they would probably figure if they found my wardrobe stuff that "let's just put that back where we found it and say nothing".
But they could try to handle and move out my stuff if they thought I was sort of like temporarily enfeebled by some sort of surgery that I underwent then I would go to live at their place. And as many of you who've read my posts in the past few years have heard me say,I have kind of a 20% feeling that my sister would be halfway OK about my dressing if I DIDN'T talk about it all the time around her or DO it around her except at like Halloween or New Years. Otherwise it would be Devil's Island. And all of this coming up within the next 3 or 4 weeks. I love my sister,my mother and my nephew but I don't want things goofed up for me and I know it isn't really logical for me to let my mind run on to so many disastrous possibilities. I'm sure everything will go as planned and the colonoscopy will go smoothly and routinely and Mom will be moved over to my Sister's on the 22nd and I will be at this apartment in November wondering what I was so irritated and nervous at in the first place.
for those who don't know me I did sort of a coming out when I was 19 years old. Mainly I did a bit of makeup and some lovely tops and I dyed my hair so much over a 6 month time period that patches of it turned green and orange. I went all over my hometown and the surrounding area in the Madison and Macoupin county area near St.Louis done up like that. I used to work with my hair all the time washing it and tinting it. It was shoulder length and I gave myself big hair do's. that was me,Aqua Net and a blow dryer and bobby pins and rollers. After awhile I decided it was best to tell my Mom I had "quit crossdressing". Due to circumstances which are too complicated to describe I continued to live at home after high school. But I paid rent and helped out with mowing the lawn and some other stuff like that.
I just went straight into open,blatent Transvestitism in those days but my Mom and some of my other family members thought it was ghoulish and strange and freakish. They tried to act like they didn't mind for months but they thought it was very weird. Girls and Guys,excuse me for using the term "Transvestite" but it was still being used in 1976. I first heard the term "crossdresser" in some reading I did in 1979. Maybe I shouldn't be so irritable and worried. Probably things will be OK in 3 or 4 weeks and I will laugh at how I could have been so tense. I'm 53 and I want a chance to dress with some degree of freedom and regularity before I finally get too old. there is one thing my Sister just might possibly be sorta cool about my dressing. but I couldn't buy my things mail order using her mailbox and even with Mom here I'm the only one who checks our mailbox and I can order ALL the fem items I want.
Thanks guys and girls for letting me let off a little steam. Hopefully I've got this posted in the right section. Maybe the mods will want to move it somewhere else. I realize that much of what I've related seems trivial. It could even seem to be so much whiplash. Thanks to all you lovely ladies and great f to m's for letting me sound off.
Samantha :love:
She will have her own bedroom at my sister's place and I will still see her at least once a week and I'll probably talk to her at least once a day on my cell phone. In a way I'm pleased because my sister works in a medical related feild and she can moniter Mom better than I ever could. But it's a little sad because Mom says she'll miss Rover and Me. Rover is a very small miniature American Eskimo crossed with Lancashire Heeler who we rescued from a humane society in Eastern Central Illinois. I tell Mom she shouldn't be sad because my Sister's apartment complex is downright luxorious with a gourmet resturaunt and golfcourse and several swimming pools and hottubs and exercise trails. Mom will have her Green telephone and cable TV in her room.
I will have this very nice apartment in this senior/disabled complex to myself and I will finally be reaching a time in my life when I can dress practically everyday provided I don't go out on the grounds en fem. One thing though. I have a colonoscopy coming up. I know that sounds like so much whiplash but I am a little bit concerned that just as Mom is being involved in this move I just might have to go in and maybe have some polyps removed or something. Therby complicating all of this flurry of activitys coming up for me and my family. I had one of these colonoscopy exams before and they didn't give me any anesthetic AND they found some slight growths or polyps but I had to scuttle the whole damn thing because this was at a place they call the "poor people's clinic" in Champaign,Illinois. Not only did I have NO WAY of meeting the medicare co-pay deductable it was costing me $600 and $800 everytime I went in that clinic and it took me months to pay the bills.
This time out I have a medicare spenddown which pays the bill which is a releif but the unnerving thing is that I don't want to be flat on my back in bed while all my stuff gets rummaged through in my drawers,closet,shelves. Of course,I tell myself that surely my sister is smart enough to know that if I'm semi-involuntarily moved out of Wisconsin to Minnesota I will lose my Wisconsin Medicare Spenddown. the spenddown she helped arrange for me. I think if i had to spend a few days in the River Falls Hospital she would know that. I guess all this is speculation but I've got a lovely Ronnie Spector Wig being handmade for me and I don't want all this botched up! Actually,I don't think my sister and nephew would rummage through my things and at this stage of the game they would probably figure if they found my wardrobe stuff that "let's just put that back where we found it and say nothing".
But they could try to handle and move out my stuff if they thought I was sort of like temporarily enfeebled by some sort of surgery that I underwent then I would go to live at their place. And as many of you who've read my posts in the past few years have heard me say,I have kind of a 20% feeling that my sister would be halfway OK about my dressing if I DIDN'T talk about it all the time around her or DO it around her except at like Halloween or New Years. Otherwise it would be Devil's Island. And all of this coming up within the next 3 or 4 weeks. I love my sister,my mother and my nephew but I don't want things goofed up for me and I know it isn't really logical for me to let my mind run on to so many disastrous possibilities. I'm sure everything will go as planned and the colonoscopy will go smoothly and routinely and Mom will be moved over to my Sister's on the 22nd and I will be at this apartment in November wondering what I was so irritated and nervous at in the first place.
for those who don't know me I did sort of a coming out when I was 19 years old. Mainly I did a bit of makeup and some lovely tops and I dyed my hair so much over a 6 month time period that patches of it turned green and orange. I went all over my hometown and the surrounding area in the Madison and Macoupin county area near St.Louis done up like that. I used to work with my hair all the time washing it and tinting it. It was shoulder length and I gave myself big hair do's. that was me,Aqua Net and a blow dryer and bobby pins and rollers. After awhile I decided it was best to tell my Mom I had "quit crossdressing". Due to circumstances which are too complicated to describe I continued to live at home after high school. But I paid rent and helped out with mowing the lawn and some other stuff like that.
I just went straight into open,blatent Transvestitism in those days but my Mom and some of my other family members thought it was ghoulish and strange and freakish. They tried to act like they didn't mind for months but they thought it was very weird. Girls and Guys,excuse me for using the term "Transvestite" but it was still being used in 1976. I first heard the term "crossdresser" in some reading I did in 1979. Maybe I shouldn't be so irritable and worried. Probably things will be OK in 3 or 4 weeks and I will laugh at how I could have been so tense. I'm 53 and I want a chance to dress with some degree of freedom and regularity before I finally get too old. there is one thing my Sister just might possibly be sorta cool about my dressing. but I couldn't buy my things mail order using her mailbox and even with Mom here I'm the only one who checks our mailbox and I can order ALL the fem items I want.
Thanks guys and girls for letting me let off a little steam. Hopefully I've got this posted in the right section. Maybe the mods will want to move it somewhere else. I realize that much of what I've related seems trivial. It could even seem to be so much whiplash. Thanks to all you lovely ladies and great f to m's for letting me sound off.
Samantha :love: