Birthday Girl

[angpai30]

My wifes birthday was yesterday and she wanted to dress up as pirates and go to a resteraunt called Pirate Island. When we got home I asked her if we could dress up for my birthday and she said sure "what do you want to dress up as"? I wanted to say something, but decided it would be better to wait for my newly ordered dress to arrive and then say I want dress in this on my birthday!! what do you think? any suggestions on how I can tell my wife that I want to crossdress on my birthday and go out to dinner with her?

[crossdrezzer1]

if she doesnt care for your dressing then dont do it,,,dont make her obligated just because its your birthday,,thats a sure way the push her away from this side of you sticking her in a situation like this

[Bobbie Bee]

That's a tough one. I would probably approach this as an "idea" first to get her thoughts on it; if she has no problems with it, you can move forward with revealing the dress when it arrives. If she doesn't like the idea, you can move in another direction without forcing the issue. Obviously you hope she accepts your idea, but you should realize that her approval may be just for that one occasion.

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Hannah,

You have a bit of a dilemma there. Ask yourself a couple questions before you make any decisions. How long have you been married and does your wife know of your CDing? Is she an open minded person who is accepting of new ideas or not? Have you thought of the consequences of going down this path?

If your wife is open minded then consider giving it a try, if she is not, think hard before you act. If you have been married for a long time and she doesn't know that you CD, you may open a door to some really difficult times in terms of loss of trust. Finally, have you given sufficient thought to the effects that this action may have on your marriage?

Personally, I am married to the most totally unaccepting individual on the face of this earth. She knows of my CDing and is totally against it. Since she discovered this side of me, she has used it like a club to beat me with and insisted that I go to a therapist to get myself fixed. So, from personal experience I suggest that you go slow and give a lot of thought to your next move. Remember, the action you take today will effect the rest of your life.

Nicole

[sherri52]

If she is okay with your dressing then ask her straight out and have her help with your makeup. This will have her be more of a part in your birthday. If she doesn't like you dressing up, you'll end up with more problems. If she doesn't know, you might want to talk it out first.

[angpai30]

She does know that I crossdress. I picked back up after 3 1/2 years of boxed feelings and they grew stronger and stronger until it finally exploded. I told her I was picking back up and I'm talking to her tomorrow to tell her that I'm not hiding it anymore from her. I'm tired of trying to hide it and it only makes things worse by trying to hide a part of you. I'm going to keep it in full site and hang up my dresses in my closet because they for sure aren't going into a box again~~

Hannah

[Sheila]

Just went back through your posts and as your wife knows and is accepting, perhaps you could suggest it and even though you have already ordered a dress, maybe ask her advice on accessories for it :), but your wife may not be comfortable going out with you this dressed at this time, so perhaps a romantic evening at home for the two of you could be a compromise for the evening, and maybe if she is willing/able to go out with you dressed it could be far more toned down, I know not what you are wanting but maybe a compromise

Sheila

Just seen your last post :eek:
I told her I was picking back up and I'm talking to her tomorrow to tell her that I'm not hiding it anymore from her. Hannah

Good luck, perhaps a slightly better way to phrase it would be to ask "how can we work this into our relationship, this is a part of who I am and I know it has been gone for 3 1/2 years but Hannah is back, and I am sure this time here to stay, I don't want to hide this from you and I would appreciate you involvement in all of me" ........... rather than "I am gong to tell you" type conversation but just my :2c:

[angpai30]

hmmm, well I bet that would work better than my approach. I think my approach to it was a little more do as I tell you I guess, but after I said what I was going to do I thought about it and decided that maybe that wasn't the best thing to do. I have been thinking of ways to tell her and I think yours was the best way in my opinion.

Thank you all for your comments. Love you all!!~~

Hannah