Transvestism/Crossdresser

[gemsay32]

What is the difference? According to my software dictionary, crossdresser means "Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex." The noun version for transvestite is exactly the same. However, the verb form of transvestite says, "Receiving sexual gratification from wearing clothing of the opposite sex." Am I in the wrong forums? For me, wearing or watching or feeling womans clothing is only something I do for sexual gratification. I don't feel like I fit in these forums because a lot of you appear to do this for other reasons.

[Michelle 51]

Hi gemsay No i don.t think your in the wrong forum because while we may vary on why we dress we all share a lot in common also.When i started dressing it was purely sexual but has evolved to where still sexual sometimes it more of how i feel and want to be.Its my secret place that only other cders understand.So i think if you hang around that you'll find a lot of support and understanding here because no matter who you are or why you dress you have friends here who understand .

lol justabit

[Gisele]

Hi gemsay No i don.t think your in the wrong forum because while we may vary on why we dress we all share a lot in common also.When i started dressing it was purely sexual but has evolved to where still sexual sometimes it more of how i feel and want to be.Its my secret place that only other cders understand.So i think if you hang around that you'll find a lot of support and understanding here because no matter who you are or why you dress you have friends here who understand .

lol justabit


Couldn't have said it better.

You fit right in dear. I thought I was some kind of sexual freak when I started to dress. Now, It is nice sometime's but not everyday. It is just a stage that you go through for a bit. You will become use to wearing womens things with out getting "excited" all of the time. I am sure there are some exceptions here and there.

Welcome to the fourms:hugs:

[curiouslooker]

For me, wearing or watching or feeling womans clothing is only something I do for sexual gratification.

This is because it is so "taboo" to do it. Society (at least ours) dictates that it is wrong to wear womens clothing. That is why it is so arousing.

There are a lot of things that are exciting because it is not part of the "norm" to do. If it wasn't we wouldn't think twice or feel guilty about it afterward.

So, long story short, your normal. :daydreaming:

[PaulaJaneThomas]

What is the difference? According to my software dictionary, crossdresser means "Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex." The noun version for transvestite is exactly the same. However, the verb form of transvestite says, "Receiving sexual gratification from wearing clothing of the opposite sex." Am I in the wrong forums? For me, wearing or watching or feeling womans clothing is only something I do for sexual gratification. I don't feel like I fit in these forums because a lot of you appear to do this for other reasons.

The two mean exactly the same (ref Herschfeld who coined the term transvestite). Those who attempt to twist either to mean any form of fetishism do so because they pursue a dark transphobic agenda. I suspect you're in deep denial about your gender identity (I've even know closet w*nkers who've gone on to transition) but that's your business not mine. At least you can't catch HIV from your right hand ;)

[Josey]

As others have already stated, "your in the correct place" for answers to your questions. Like you, my initial experiences with crossdressing were sexual in nature. In due time, this changed into enjoyable feelings not necessarily associated with sexual gratification. Keep reviewing various posts here and you'll surely get answers!

[erickka]

Hi gemsay No i don.t think your in the wrong forum because while we may vary on why we dress we all share a lot in common also.When i started dressing it was purely sexual but has evolved to where still sexual sometimes it more of how i feel and want to be.Its my secret place that only other cders understand.So i think if you hang around that you'll find a lot of support and understanding here because no matter who you are or why you dress you have friends here who understand .

lol justabit

Hi, Gemsay. I 100% agree with this. If you hang around here, you will most assuredly have a greater understanding of yourself. There are a lot of fantastic and culturally diverse people here to talk to. We are all here for the same reason, to network with others who UNDERSTAND. Welcome and enjoy your stay

Huggs, Erickka.

[mklinden2010]

>>According to my software dictionary, crossdresser means "Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex." The noun version for transvestite is exactly the same. However, the verb form of transvestite says, "Receiving sexual gratification from wearing clothing of the opposite sex."


You're OK, it's the dictionary that is wrong.

For example, someone who adopts the sexual role of the opposite sex is not "a" crossdresser or "a" transvestite.

Crossdressing means basically no more than wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. "Trans," as in transvestite, literally translates the same way.

"A" crossdresser is someone who wears the clothing of the opposite sex for a purpose, but that purpose varies too widely for your definition to be accurate, fair, or, helpful.

Look up bi-sexual, homosexual, and transgendered in your "software dictionary" and see how gender, clothing, and sex are mentioned in those definitions.

I'd be surprised if those definitions were any more accurate, honest, or, definitive.

River: A moving body of water with it's origins in a watershed and it's exit a larger body of water.

Like a roof, gutters and rain barrels?

[donna h]

When I first started dressing the sexual part was important, as time has passed my reasons for dressing have changed.IMHO if it were all about sexual needs it would be alot easier.Dressing makes all of me feel good and right, mind and body. You are in the right place Ive learned alot here, mainly that Im not alone and that has helped me immensely to accept myself for who I am.

[Sarah Michelle]

even the psychiatric community argues over the definitions for the two words. there is a commonly accepted point-of-view that transvestitism involves the fetish aspect of wearing the clothes of the opposite gender while cross-dressing is associated with gender identity disorder, gender dysphoria and just plain being rebellious.
for me; it isn't sexual, never was, it is about wearing the clothes that feel like they fit. the clothes change me when they are on.
there is a huge social dis-connect in that women can easily dress like men [suits, ties, pants, tees] without any back-lash but men don't have the same privilege. WWII and women in the workplace made it easier for them.

[Barbara Jo]

I aways used to say (half in jest) that a cross dresser is simply someone who can't admit that they are a transvestite.

Having said that, I really don't care what others call me as I know what I am and that's all that matters to me. :)

[Ann Thomas]

I agree with many of the posts above, where it started out as sexual in nature but then transformed into less than that later. So, you're in the right place, most likely. I found my sexual desires diminish the more I wear women's clothing, which actually helps me to deal with the desires. Even the way I look at women shifts, to where I feel it's more healthy when I wear women's clothing - I look at them to see what they're wearing, but not so I can judge them for the clothes or their body/face, but to look at the overall image and see if the look they have is what I want for myself. Then if it is, I will note the items/ makeup/hairstyle and try those combinations on myself later.

The desires to wear women's clothing has increased as I have aged, and I think it might be due to shifts in hormone levels with time. Not sure on that one, as I've not had any hormone analysis done scientifically.

I feel that God made me this way, and rather than fight against it, I need to go along with it, finding ways to diminish feelings that could be harmful to others. Crossdressing isn't evil, and accepting it has made me feel like a whole person.

As far as the difference in terms between transvestite and crossdresser, I'm not at all sure on that one. I'm just me and that's all that matters. I would prefer to be dressed female all the time. I know there's others that don't and are happy doing it only now and then. So which ever definition fits where you are, I'd go with that. I've kind of gone along with Transgendered for myself, wrong or right by others definitions, but it's a broad term I realize.

Welcome to the group!

Hugs,
Ann

[Carole]

Hi Gemsay, like the rest I don't think you're in the wrong forum at all, quite the opposite. I started dressing, like a lot of other members at around age 4/5 so much too toung to know the sexual aspect of it. By my teens and later it would have been very difficult for me to successfully 'tuck' for more than a few minutes, yes it had become a sexuak gratification exercise. Now, however, that side has waned and the enjoyment is purely from the wearing of the clothing (well almost all of it :daydreaming:). Hope this helps and that you enjoy your membership here and we hear lots more from you.
:hugs:

[helenr]

We know more than most therapists! what great posts. I am 62 and when I first starting looking up the word transvestite (the only one in use until it became 'politically correct' -for want of better expression- to term the attraction 'crossdressing'--the words MORBID DESIRE was used. Gee , that was so upsetting to think that the desire to wear nylon panties, etc was 'morbid'. Personally, I believe that transvestism is mostly tied to a form of fetish dressing with the goal of sexual release. Nothing wrong with this, we are human creatures. I found that 'when I stressed, I dressed' (I didn't coin that expression). Now, as my testosterone heads south, with help of meds, it is truly crossdressing as I feel it is what is appropriate for me to wear, however odd that would seem to 99 44/100 of the population. No more arousal sensations, but that is how I wish it to be. Libido can become too much of a good thing.It actually is a form of let down, however, to lose this-we all know the joys of mental and physical arousal and climax-but that is largely gone. Look how folks fight to keep this-the Levetra ads,etc.
It can be very peaceful to revel in crossdressing without pesky sex drive popping up (terrible pun!). I am sorry, I never have short answers/opinions-only mine, hope I haven't offended anyone!
So crossdressing, transvestism, both are totally fine and nothing for which we should allow others to shame us.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Gemsay, Hun,I don't think there's much difference between a Transvestite and a Crossdresser all the same. When I was first dabbling in buying female stuff in department stores and shopping malls a year or two after high school,the term "Transvestite" was still widely in use. That must've been like 1976-1977. I first heard the term "Crossdresser" in 1979. As for me I do this for all kinds of reasons that are a combination of sexual,narcissistic,relaxing and exciting all at once. Furthermore, I've always considered myself to be pretty much of a sissy. Registered even. I wanted a toy "Betty's Beauty Parlor Set" when I was 7. And don't worry about the sexual part. There are many of us here who are the same way. I think "Crossdresser" is a better,more clever,more sophisticated and more clinical kind of term,along with terms like "Gender Variant" to be used in any kind of legal wrangling over things like LGBT/TG/TS/CD rights and issues but it is also the polite word to use instead of calling someone a "transvestite".


:hugs: Samantha

[AmiFL]

Crossdresser, transvestite, drag queen, they are only names. We are what we are.

When I dressed regularly many moons ago. it started out as mainly a sexual thing.

As a teen a became my fantasy girl. The more I dressed the better I felt. I curled my long hair (I was a hippy then), put on my makeup and clothes and escaped into my own happy place. When I was done, so to speak., the guilts came in. But I always dressed again.

As an adult when I lived alone, it still started as a sexual release but evolved. I started to tuck everything back in and stayed dressed. I relished in the feel, taste and smell of the makeup and clothes. I could not get enough of becoming a girl, at least for a while. The more completely I dressed the better it was for me.

Moving to a new place forced me to purge all of my "stuff" and I have not dressed in years. Taking a chance and joining this sight made me realize a few things. There a lot of us, (choose your title) out there. We all come here for the same thing, support from our peers and to give support to our peers.

Thanks,

Ami

[tricia_uktv]

Easy,

Transvestite does it for sexual reasons and starts thinking about it during puberty

Transsexual wishes and inevitably does change sex because she needs to live like a woman, she usually starts pre-puberty

Crossdresser likes the feel of the clothes and doues it more for relaxation. Often starts after puberty and can start in middle age or later.

But then I am a t-girl so what am I?

Not so easy!

[Ras]

Gemsay, for me it is still a sexual thing but still love the look and feeling of the lingerie. So one could say it is more of a cross dressing fetish. Bottom line who cares what the "label" is. do what feels good and enjoy it!

[Shari]

Seems so many are obsessed with labeling themselves. Filed, categorized, assorted, assigned. Jeeeesh!
Who cares?

Like Shakespeare wrote: "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

Have fun and don't worry about what to call yourself.
You're welcome here by any name.

[SweetCaroline]

I recently came across the term Dual-role transvestism as an identified GID, distinguished from fetishistic transvestism, in a pamphlet about transgendered patients that was to be given to health care providers. I was curious because I had never heard the term used before.

Personally I don't like to think of myself as being a crossdresser, but that's my own definition. The problem with definitions like these is that they are too limited. I think of myself as a male bodied person who identifies more completely as female and with female roles. I don't become a different person because I change clothes.

Don't let anyone define you for yourself.

[vjaducd]

No, You are nut at wrong place, You are at a proper & correct place, A leaving creture on earth is produced on earth with sex so in c.d.ing sex will there be or otherwise why we would have been here.During c.d.ing if sex evokes then there is nothing wrong on the contrery c.d.ing satisfy our sexual urges & needs so be i contect with forum
vjaducd

[suchacutie]

It is true that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Unfortunately, we all like to be able to know what we are. For some, the labels "man" and "woman" work very nicely (even though those definitions are probably as hard to write as any other!). Some on this forum seem to be able to identify that they crossdress for relaxation, or because it feels good just to do it, or that it's a fetish. Others really feel the need to be identified in the other gender (to which, often, the term transexual is applied).

Then there are many of us who just don't fit. Without a doubt, I love to be Tina! Maybe it's just because she is new, but I don't think so. There is a feminine part of me that seems only to come to fruition when the clothes and hair change, the makeup goes on along with the nail polish, the voice changes, the body movement changes, and then the thought patterns change. If I never wanted to change back, it seems that "transsexual" would be appropriate. The problem is that I do want to change back because I like the guy part of me too.

So, I'm stuck with transgendered, or, as some have written, bigendered.

My whole point here is that just as the breadth of "man" and "woman" would really defy complete agreement in humanity, all the rest of these labels require qualifications and asterisks! Heck, even the term "human" has come under scrutiny! Maybe we all need to agree upon one label:

me

my:2c:
tina

[Tamara Croft]

Crossdresser = USA term
Transvestite = UK term

It's that simple. You will find most CD's in the UK do not like being called a CD, they prefer being called a tranny... and the majority do not do it for sexual reasons only. And USA CD's do not like being called trannys. So the term transvestite being for sexual reasons only is a moot point.

[gemsay32]

This is because it is so "taboo" to do it. Society (at least ours) dictates that it is wrong to wear womens clothing. That is why it is so arousing.

There are a lot of things that are exciting because it is not part of the "norm" to do. If it wasn't we wouldn't think twice or feel guilty about it afterward.

So, long story short, your normal. :daydreaming:

Feeling guilty? I don't do it too often, so the guilty doesn't bother me. (I don't try to look like a woman, but I did try recording myself many years ago to see how I looked - all for fun. My back was too big, too many muscles, wrong skeletal arrangement. So I couldn't use that for gratification purposes. In the end, I've found that the clothing is enough. It's a solely a tactile experience.) Now, there have been a few times I felt guilty. Right now I am kind of fuzzy about why, but I'll try my best to explain why I might have felt that way a couple times.

Here goes...

First point is that womans clothing is "weak". It's unmanly and society views it very negatively for a man to wear it unless it's simply fun/games/jokes for rare occasions. The jokes/fun might even be used to demean people who do it more frequently (transvestites/etc). Point two is that sexual gratification of any form is sinful from a religious standpoint. It's also indulgent and selfish to many people as sexual gratification that does not produce children is wasted energy.

The best way I can sum up why I've felt guilty a few times is that it's too indulgent and fake. I mean, I'm enjoying myself with an article of clothing? Shouldn't I be out there enjoying myself with real people?? Any type of activity that's indulgent and as unproductive will incite this feeling of guilt. It's not restricted to this alone. It wouldn't be so bad if the gratification I received required me to do things with people and learn life skills.

Sometimes I think that I'm blessed to find this kind of pleasure in something so simple and straightforward, but other times I think it's backwards and unproductive.

Thanks fo the responses, but I'm still not sure whether I belong here. Again, I'm not trying to be a woman and I don't want to be! Being a guy is great. You got more muscle mass and can move around easier, imho. There're lots of benefits - like being able to act stupid and have your friends pat you on the back with a big grin. I think where I don't belong in this whole guy thing is that I don't fit in with the manly men. I have always been weaker than them and tend to not like the dirtier aspects of manhood. I think I fit in more with scientist-types and artist-types and philosopher-types. I have great respect for a manly man though.

[AmandaM]

Transvestites hide out in seedy alleyways in the wrong part of town. Crossdressers hang out in their livingrooms, fine restaurants, and at art galleries. LOL

[gemsay32]

even the psychiatric community argues over the definitions for the two words. there is a commonly accepted point-of-view that transvestitism involves the fetish aspect of wearing the clothes of the opposite gender while cross-dressing is associated with gender identity disorder, gender dysphoria and just plain being rebellious.
for me; it isn't sexual, never was, it is about wearing the clothes that feel like they fit. the clothes change me when they are on.
there is a huge social dis-connect in that women can easily dress like men [suits, ties, pants, tees] without any back-lash but men don't have the same privilege. WWII and women in the workplace made it easier for them.

Sometimes I've wondered if policewoman get pleasure from wearing a uniform and being around a bunch of guys in uniform.

[Ms. Electra]

Yes, if you read all the FAQs and listen to all the experts, crossdressers do it for the femininity, the gender issues and the lifestyle, while transvestites do it for the fetish. Personally, I do both, and I try not to get too hung up on it. When somebody asks me, I just say I like to dress in women's clothing. :)

Some people prefer hard labels, so they can define themselves. And I sympathize with their struggle to find a label that matches them, because it is very important to them.

Personally, I can't define my sexuality. I like dressing like a man. I like dressing like a woman. I dress in tuxedos. I dress in lingerie. I'm married to a woman and have a long term girlfriend, and I date boys and girls. I'm a top and a bottom. I've dated ftm and mtf.

What's important to me is learning about myself and others, and sharing experiences with those whom I find a connection with. Because those connections are incredible. Those connections are what define our lives.

xoxo

[Nadia-Maria]

Seems so many are obsessed with labeling themselves. Filed, categorized, assorted, assigned. Jeeeesh!
Who cares?


Many people do care.

. Possibly you don't understand that some people are just very curious to better understand themselves.
. Other people seem have no such drive to understand themselves or gain a better knowledge at whatever. They often seem to be more "superficial" to others.

Neither one of both attitudes is fundamentally better than the other, it just depends on differing values adopted by people and on the life objectives.

Please, whathever your values are, be more open-minded and tolerant to people who cherish values different from yours.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Crossdresser = USA term
Transvestite = UK term

It's that simple. You will find most CD's in the UK do not like being called a CD, they prefer being called a tranny... and the majority do not do it for sexual reasons only. And USA CD's do not like being called trannys. So the term transvestite being for sexual reasons only is a moot point.

Tamara is that why in "PSYCHO" Directed by Alfred Hitchcock. With Anthony Perkins at the end is labeled as a transvestite, since Sir Alfred Hitchcock was the director.


Me, Gemsay,

I am both,
I am neither.
It really doesn't matter,
However crossdresser is softer sounding
both to my ears and my soul.

[Frédérique]

It's that simple. You will find most CD's in the UK do not like being called a CD, they prefer being called a tranny... and the majority do not do it for sexual reasons only.


Yes – I call myself a tranny because I spent time on a similar UK forum some time ago. I like the nickname, in fact I’m comfortable with the “transvestite” moniker. It all seems obvious to me – crossdresser just doesn’t cover it. Also, since I don’t “do it” for sexual reasons, I’ve come to understand the lack of understanding about the word transvestite in my country. In fact, if I may say so, I’ve taken a “bit of stick” for it – I picked up that phrase across the pond, too…:)

[PretzelGirl]

This nonsense reply from Amanda just goes to show what happens if you start believing in outdated dictionaries.

I think the "LOL" was Amanda's way of saying she was just making a funny comment.

[Charis]

I'm kind of glad this thread came along.

I think at the very core of it, I'm a Transvestic Fetishist (my interest in crossing hit me in early adolescence, and I still get a sexual thrill from wearing lingerie). That said, as I've matured I've gotten to the point where I just feel more comfortable in womens clothes, and it doesn't always have a sexual element to it.

I've realised that there's so much more to this than simply my libido, and while I don't necessarily want the sexual aspect of it to disappear, I'm slowly embracing my, um, platonic (lol, probably not the most fitting word to use) appreciation for all things feminine.

[docrobbysherry]

U TOTALLY BELONG HERE, Gemsay! There r FEW, if ANY, girls here that haven't, at one time or another, derived sexual pleasure from SOME ASPECT of dressing!:eek:

Even if they don't feel that way now, they REMEMBER the feeling!:devil:




Crossdresser: person who wears the clothes of the opposite sex.

This can be divided up (if the fancy strikes you) according to motive. For instance:

[LIST]
Fetishist crossdresser: gets sexually turned on by the feel of fur or silk or high heels


And using Katie's own post against her to prove her point:eek::

I'm a fetish CD, but for me, it's all about the IMAGE in the mirror! And very little to do with the FEEL of the clothes anymore! 6 categories for CDs is woefully inadequate!:doh:
Maybe with 6 more SUB-categories for each one?:brolleyes:

[PaulaJaneThomas]

aaaaargh! I'll never ge the hang of these abbreviations.

lol :D

[Vicky_Scot]

They are both just labels. In the grand scheme of things it does not really matter what label you want to adopt.

If you wish to adopt a label, then human being is a good one.

[sherri52]

They are the same. As individuals we either dress to feel fem or because it's sexy or even because mens clothing is so drab. Whatever the reason we are as one (we Dress).

[AmandaM]

lol :d

ymmv, lol!

[Andy66]

Gemsay, please don't let all this hoopla over labels scare you away. It's perfectly normal for different people to have different reasons for crossdressing (or whatever you want to call it).

It's also perfectly acceptable to come here and go as you please. You don't have to completely fit in (as if there were such a thing). Just pop in when you feel, take what you need, and leave the rest. :)

[AmandaM]

Usually in the USA, it's better to say crossdresser. Transvestite is still considered a derogatory term.

[Suzy Harrison]

Crossdresser = USA term
Transvestite = UK term

.



Spot on !

In fact I'd never even heard the term 'Crossdresser' until I got to Australia 16 years ago. To be honest, I don't like the word 'Transvestite' - as it sounds like some nasty little disease - even "Crossdresser' sounds a little off, but not as bad.

I would prefer the term "Gender Conformity Challenged" :heehee: - but I guess it'll never catch on - 'Tranny' is so much easier to say :D

Years ago in the UK, if you weren't a totally straight guy - i.e. smoked, drank, swore, mad about footbal and beat your girlfriend up occasionally, then you were a poofter, pansy, bender or queerboy etc..... so we have seen some progress.

[DaisyG]

Hi Gemsay, like the rest I don't think you're in the wrong forum at all, quite the opposite. I started dressing, like a lot of other members at around age 4/5 so much too toung to know the sexual aspect of it. By my teens and later it would have been very difficult for me to successfully 'tuck' for more than a few minutes, yes it had become a sexuak gratification exercise. Now, however, that side has waned and the enjoyment is purely from the wearing of the clothing (well almost all of it :daydreaming:). Hope this helps and that you enjoy your membership here and we hear lots more from you.
:hugs:

Carole, I couldn't have said it better. Like you, my first memories of dressing are just before age 4. By my 20's and for the following 30 years the sexual aspect came on rather strongly. Now at age 69 the clothes, the makeup, and the thrill of "being like a woman" are the focus of my dressing, and the sexual side has gone way out of focus.

Daisy :)

[Ralph]

As you can see, we can't even agree on the definitions here on this site! Remember that "transvestite" is just the literal Latin translation of "crossdresser" -- "trans" = "cross", "vest" = "dress" (and "ite" is roughly equivalent to "er" if you want to be really picky). So lexically both words mean exactly the same thing: someone who wears clothes of the opposite sex. Desires, motives, and the extent to which you do so does not enter into it.

Now, various groups including psychiatrists (imo just a rung or two above palm readers in their credibility) and factions of the tg community have all attached their own definitions to those words.

I think Katie B has the best approach. If you really must label yourself, you can qualify the noun with an adjective or two... Don't be just any old crossdresser, be a fashion crossdresser (or whatever).

And while I'm taking Katie's name in vain, I have to point out that I didn't need the "lol" at the end to read Amanda's reply as tongue-in-cheek. I thought it was hilarious! Perhaps because in that extensive collection of labels I'm more of a "comedic transvestite".

[sueb5678]

Is there a difference? Does it really matter?
I think the words are interchangeable.

[ArleneRaquel]

Usually in the USA, it's better to say crossdresser. Transvestite is still considered a derogatory term.

The word " transvestite " gives me the chills. I prefer Crossdresser . :)