Jessica-Alix
10-10-2009, 02:03 PM
Just thought i'd write a bit about how i'm feeling about myself as a crossdresser at this moment in time.
Firstly, i think i am ever so slowly becoming more accepting of myself and the fact that i enjoy exploring my feminie side through becoming Jessica-Alix. This i feel has been made easier for 2 reasons.
1: This forum. I always read more than i post, but there is no doubt that looking through other peoples posts and experiences has helped me rid myself the dreaded 'guilt' and the 'i'm a weirdo for dressing' feelings that i have always carried. I still have periods where i feel uncomftable about my dressing, but not as bad as i once used too.
2: Talking to my girlfriend more. One of the main things that used to get me down about my dressing was feeling as though i was betraying my gf, like i was lying to her or going behind her back. She is a very liberal girl and is of the attitude that if i am happy, then she is happy. She has never seen Jessica, but she does know that i have some clothes etc and that i enjoy exploring my feminine side from time to time. We have alot more to cover, but i have at least used terms such as 'crossdressing' with her- a massive hurdle for me because reviously i just couldnt bring myself to talk to her about it.
Also, of late my dressing has been advancing in that i have been trying make-up and i bought a wig. These have been big steps because i finally feel like i look more feminie and i am looking forward to trying new styles and getting better at make-up.
A huge step was taken in the last month when i posted some pictures of myself on here too. I feel extremely libertated by this, as though allowing others to see me made it so much easier (i posted some more last week so it has obviously raised my confidence alot!) I was also anxious about somebody i know seeing me on here, but in a strange way i am not bothered, almost comftable that i am who i am and i dont care who knows.
In conclsuion, i am feeling much happier about crossdressing at the moment than i ever have, and very excited about trying new things and what the future may hold.
Thanks for listening
ja
x
Firstly, i think i am ever so slowly becoming more accepting of myself and the fact that i enjoy exploring my feminie side through becoming Jessica-Alix. This i feel has been made easier for 2 reasons.
1: This forum. I always read more than i post, but there is no doubt that looking through other peoples posts and experiences has helped me rid myself the dreaded 'guilt' and the 'i'm a weirdo for dressing' feelings that i have always carried. I still have periods where i feel uncomftable about my dressing, but not as bad as i once used too.
2: Talking to my girlfriend more. One of the main things that used to get me down about my dressing was feeling as though i was betraying my gf, like i was lying to her or going behind her back. She is a very liberal girl and is of the attitude that if i am happy, then she is happy. She has never seen Jessica, but she does know that i have some clothes etc and that i enjoy exploring my feminine side from time to time. We have alot more to cover, but i have at least used terms such as 'crossdressing' with her- a massive hurdle for me because reviously i just couldnt bring myself to talk to her about it.
Also, of late my dressing has been advancing in that i have been trying make-up and i bought a wig. These have been big steps because i finally feel like i look more feminie and i am looking forward to trying new styles and getting better at make-up.
A huge step was taken in the last month when i posted some pictures of myself on here too. I feel extremely libertated by this, as though allowing others to see me made it so much easier (i posted some more last week so it has obviously raised my confidence alot!) I was also anxious about somebody i know seeing me on here, but in a strange way i am not bothered, almost comftable that i am who i am and i dont care who knows.
In conclsuion, i am feeling much happier about crossdressing at the moment than i ever have, and very excited about trying new things and what the future may hold.
Thanks for listening
ja
x