Has the term "Closeted" Crossdresser changed since the Internet came along???????

[Christina Horton]

I was reading a thread with a nice CD in a yellow dress with hands on hips posing for the camera is such a way to not see her face clearly on in her avatar pic, and I was thinking ..... Since the Internet came along has the term "Closeted" changed.
I mean think about it , to be closeted you must not tell anyone , and in our case you could not show OR tell any one your cd. I read stories for CDs that say there in the closet and I see there pics. Does it mean there no long In the closet and just in the closet door but, partly out of it.

Silly I know I am just splitting hairs here but it was funny to me. Before the Internet to be in the closet you meant you did not tell anyone , did not show anyone , did not tell your story to anyone , e.t.c.

So has the term changed , or does it matter. You girls whom are "in the closet door" and consider yourself not "IN" the closet , but In the "house".

You closeted CDs have come out all of us and I would say your not 100% in the closet but lets say......75% in. I take courage and bravery to tell people . It also is the same to tell people on the computer too. Never forget your first time telling someone and how brave you were too.

What would you say would be (just for fun) a better term for a "closeted" person? Ideas?????

[Crissy Kay]

I find this a very interesting topic as it applies to us "closet" girls. I do believe you are right Cristina, about the 75%. Before the net, I would tell no one. Now, only two people know that I am a part timer, in person. I am on a couple more sites besides this, and yahoo, my home page. So I have a number of friends on the net who know me as "Crissy", but they don"know me as my drab self. Be interesting to hear from some of the other "closet" girls here!!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Absolutely fantastic point...

The internet has had an ENORMOUS impact on our lives..

I go all the way back to Compuserve...i think the forum was "sex 2000?"..

The ability to communicate with other folks and "be me" totally and completely changed my life, and for those young enough to have grown up with the internet, I can tell you that as lonely and confused you may feel..imagine a world where you never ever told one living soul about who you really are!!! not good.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

The subject of what being in the closet means leads to the subject of what being out means and I've seen some right flame-wars over that! So I'm just going to sit back and watch the fireworks.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Christina-

Interesting topic. While I'm out to friends and family, it has taken me a lifetime to get there, all I know is that I wish the internet had been available when I was in my teens and early 20s and struggling with it all. For so many years I felt that I was the only one with feelings like mine.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Phyliss]

I guess you could think of two different closets, the real physical one, and the virtual cyber one.
For years I was stuck in the physical one with no thought of ever getting out, mostly because I didn't know how and wasn't much interested in finding out. Then along came the net and things changed.
Realizing the annonimity (sp) of the net I got a bit brave and slowly opened up. Found this site and opened up more, then one day I decided to fly on my own came out of the real closet and talked to my sister. Found acceptance and decided to venture forth into the real world.

Haven't looked back since.

I suppose being deep in a closet , real or cyber, is a state of mind. If we're deep in the real closet yet we open up here then we're partly out of the real one and don't realize it until the door hits us in the caboose and we find ourself standing in the room, slowly we open the door to that room and find the rest of the house, then before we know it we're outside, and then the real fun begins.

Steps along the way. Starting with the safe and annoymous net, where we can be anybody we want to be.

A better term for a person who is in the closet yet opens up here. IDK ... to early in the a.m. for me, need more coffee to think

[RebeccaLynne]

I mean think about it , to be closeted you must not tell anyone , and in our case you could not show OR tell any one your cd. I read stories for CDs that say there in the closet and I see there pics.

Before the Internet to be in the closet you meant you did not tell anyone , did not show anyone , did not tell your story to anyone , e.t.c.

Interesting topic, Christina. I'd have to agree with your definition of "closeted" pre-Internet.


So has the term changed , or does it matter. You girls whom are "in the closet door" and consider yourself not "IN" the closet , but In the "house".

I think it has; in that we've now the option of disclosing our "secret selves" to others sharing this other than mainstream activity, without actually stepping outside the comfort and privacy of our residence.

As is the case for me. Only my former wife, my current GF, and my GF's best friend know about me in "real life". And in the house, I have complete freedom to dress as I please, without reservation. My comfort zone.

The Internet has provided the opportunity to interact with others without venturing beyond that zone. I've been able to make friends and communicate with like-minded people without discernible risk. In more than four years on this site, I've yet to be "outed" by anyone. So I think I'm over the concern of being "found out".


What would you say would be (just for fun) a better term for a "closeted" person? Ideas?????

Well, since my closet is too small for both my clothes and I to co-inhabit, I'd like to replace "closeted" with "indoors". I think that applies to quite a few members here. And that's not even counting the "guests"!:heehee:

[Faith_G]

I forget whose user title says "Girl at Home", but I think that term suits me perfectly. :)

Out only to family and one friend, but never been out in public. If I'm home, the man clothes stay in the drawer.

[Ellen James]

It seems to me both from my readings on science, language, and the human mind - as well as from observation - that people are 'hard-wired' to organize, classify, and label things including human behavior and human beings themselves. As long as we recognize that this is an inherent behavior and in and of itself harmless, okay - what I strongly object to and what I would argue is wrong is when people start using these labels to differentiate between people and to express judgments as to what is wrong and what is right. I think it better to accept that it just is (or that, these things just are).

What I like about this forum is its general sense of acceptance accompanied by a good dose of advise, help, assistance, and support. Though still very much in the closet, without the internet and the discovery of this forum I would probably still be very deep in the dark even from myself. As I type this today, I am wearing panties with green flowers and have shaved my legs and much other hair and will be trying to maintain that. Having seen what others in this community have done, I can even see Ellen going out in public.

I am still working through the full implications of my new recognitions of myself as a bisexual who likes to express his/her masculine and feminine sides in dress and behavior. This all beginning from an exploration starting only this year and greatly supported and aided by the the internet that made this (and other such) forums possible. So, yes I'm in the closet but peeking out the door a little bit. Without the internet I might not still be completely in the dark.

[sterling12]

Well put Phyliss! I think you covered it nicely. "Being Out," is no doubt what an individual believes it to be, but that "Cyber Closet" does pose an ethical dilemma.

Simply put: "If a tree falls in The Forest, does anybody hear?"

Yes, being on This Forum and investigating The TG World via The Net is a "step." But, is it "going down The Stairs to Freedom?" Guess you all will have to decide for yourselves.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Frédérique]

So has the term changed , or does it matter. You girls whom are "in the closet door" and consider yourself not "IN" the closet , but In the "house".

I may be here, but I’m still in the closet – where do you think I’m typing this? Seriously, it’s great to “be out” this little bit – it means a lot to me…


What would you say would be (just for fun) a better term for a "closeted" person?


I like to think of myself as being in a box of my own making, so I’m thoroughly “boxed,” with a nice ribbon and bow, preferably pink…:battingeyelashes:

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I think being "closeted" but posting pictures online is sort of like having a walk-in closet. Sure, there's still a door you can close but there's also space to invite trusted friends in there to see what you have.

Having come out this year, it still definitely felt like leaving the closet even though I had posted pictures of myself online and told friends already.

[Rita B]

Absolutely fantastic point...

The internet has had an ENORMOUS impact on our lives..

I go all the way back to Compuserve...i think the forum was "sex 2000?"..

The ability to communicate with other folks and "be me" totally and completely changed my life, and for those young enough to have grown up with the internet, I can tell you that as lonely and confused you may feel..imagine a world where you never ever told one living soul about who you really are!!! not good.

I remember getting all dressed up and going to a private CD party and the hostess had a computer and Compuserve and we all stood around in amazement at the ability to communicate with someone else online ( although it was as slow as molasses). I remember the days of "Tapestry" magazine and checking out the personals and writing letters and sometimes getting a phone number back to call. "The good old days"???

[docrobbysherry]

You're RITE, Christine!

I say the day I came "out of the closet", was 2 years ago! When I stopped dressing in a vacuum, and came out here!:)

Yet, in all my posts, I refer to myself as a, "closet dresser" because I only dress at home! And no one knows I do it:brolleyes:

There needs to be a commonly accepted term for those of us that r out online, but NOT to the folks we know, or in public!

Like; "Outline closet CD"? :devil:

[Tina B.]

Many years ago I belonged to a forum that was for paid members, not so open as this, but got tired of being told it was all about transitioning, and getting out, that just wasn't me. Then I found this site where there is acceptance for those that are out, and those that are in the closet, it's much more comfortable here.
After some time on here I started to post pictures, I figure if they are looking on here long enough to figure out my identity they must me one of us, or an admirer. But in the real world I am still in the closet to all the people i know except for my wife. maybe outternet CD would describe it instead of INTERNET CD.
Tina

[Christina Horton]

"Outlaw Closet" Dressers. Maybe. You break the rules and come out on line but not out side. Hmmm maybe "INLAW CLOSET" LOL.

[Rebecca Jayne]

People haven't changed,
Names and spellings maybe
Change is just semantics for same ol' thing.
Deep rooted feelings good and bad persist.

I the only thing I'm sure of is :
Frankly, I don't give a damn anymore
and that was said over 70 years ago.

[Cary]

For me the term Closeted wouldn't fit. The closet is just for my clothes. I'm crossdressed all over the house. I live along and I don't go out dressed. I've never told anybody in my family. Besides you folks here in cyber-space, only 3 poeple in my real world know I wear women's clothes. I guess I would consider myself a in the house only crossdresser.

[sherri52]

I think being in the closet still means the same except with the internet the closet door is open.

[Niya W]

Closeted vs people that don't go out Interesting thing. Most Cd's I've sen on the net eventually do go out .


Now here is the flip side what about those that used to go out but don't any more and are on the net or those that are only around other CD's in private setting. They never go out in public in way shape of form. I talking about the y show up as guy, get changed and then leave as a guy.

[Carly D.]

The closet now equipped with a monitor and keypad.. to me the closet (figurative as it always is) is a state of existence.. the way to be.. I think the internet has made my cross dressing so much more bare able.. I'm so much more able to take my second personality and I think I always knew there had to be more like me (cross dressers of all sorts) but it sure was nice to see that there are possibly even more cross dressers out there.. because like I figure, there has to be at least ten to every one that is on here.. there are those who don't have internet, and those who don't need to belong to an internet community, and those who are so fearful that being on here in any form will commit themselves to the firey deep, or something like that.. truth is it is just nice.. to be here once in a while, to read more now than replying.. and to see other exist as who they are.. CHEERS TO YOU ALL...!!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

You closeted CDs have come out all of us and I would say your not 100% in the closet but lets say......75% in. What would you say would be (just for fun) a better term for a "closeted" person? Ideas?????

I've come up with the term.

75 percenter- A crossdresser who is not 100% in the closet but more like 75% in that they do not go out in public but do post pictures on line.

[Karren H]

Before the internet I didn't even know I was in a "closet" let alone should or shouldn't try to get out of it.. I still don't like the term because none of my clothes were actually in a "closet". Or I never got dressed in a "closet". So it didn't make any sense..

I guess the term came from "Gays coming out of the closet".... And we inheariteted it after they abandionded their closets?? Like a hand me down saying... And since I wasn't gay...... it just didn't apply...

More like I came out of the "bathroom".. After all... There's a mirror and sink in bathroom to put your makeup on and none in the closet!! Lol.

[TammieIII]

I know ! I know!!:love: For myself being in the closet I certainly have told a lot of other girls online about my life, but you know I don't feel I'm so alone anymore.So maybe I need an addition built on my closet.

[Sarah Michelle]

I don't like the "closet" term either. I am a woman at home when alone, but here are we not "cyber-women", "net-chicks".....? just a thought.

[Christina Horton]

Well since I was let go of my job of 11 1/2 years and was out to them, I am now partly back in the Closet when it comes to my new job. So I am sorta back. The good thing about it is I am still going out dressed and having fun.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Christina I grew up closeted*, it just became bigger with cyberspace, more place to hang stuff, like right now I have 7 windows open, and I'm just messing around.

*Artsey fartsey dude/dudette dabbles with personal expressionism