They Are Just Clothes, Right?

[Meghan]

She dressed me for the first time this weekend. We went shopping for this wonderful, purple babydoll looking outfit that sparkled perfectly with the necklace that I have worn every day since she gave it to me 2 years ago.

She also bought me these perfect stockings to wear. She put them one me and rubbed my legs over and over again, smiling. I know, for sure, that she enjoys playing with gender and crossing lines. I could tell from her eyes she was totally enjoying seeing me in these clothes.

Yet, I can't help but get stuck on the thought that, at the end of the day, these are just clothes, right?

But why do they mean so much? Why do they make both of our brains light up?

She says it's the power involved. It's hard to argue that!

Meghan

[ReineD]

Meghan, honestly I don't believe it is just about the clothes. Otherwise there would be no wigs, forms, body shaving, trimmed eyebrows, long hair & nails, makeup, accessories, attempts to soften the voice and adopt feminine mannerisms such as the walk, speaking a certain way, etc. I don't know how you fit into this, but the majority of CDers want the full femme experience, feeling femme as much as they can and be validated and respected as femmes.

But whatever it is for you, enjoy!! :hugs:

[ArleneRaquel]

[QUOTE=ReineD;1902170]Meghan, honestly I don't believe it is just about the clothes. Otherwise there would be no wigs, forms, body shaving, trimmed eyebrows, long hair & nails, makeup, accessories, attempts to soften the voice and adopt feminine mannerisms such as the walk, speaking a certain way, etc. I don't know how you fit into this, but the majority of CDers want the full femme experience, feeling femme as much as they can and be validated and respected as femmes.

But whatever it is for you, enjoy!!

I agree 100% - Arlene Marie McCarthy - A Gurl 24/7 & Loving it.

[Ralph]

Meghan, honestly I don't believe it is just about the clothes. Otherwise there would be no wigs, forms, body shaving, trimmed eyebrows, long hair & nails, makeup, accessories, attempts to soften the voice and adopt feminine mannerisms such as the walk, speaking a certain way, etc. I don't know how you fit into this, but the majority of CDers want the full femme experience, feeling femme as much as they can and be validated and respected as femmes.

The majority you say? Here we go on another statistical dispute... I suppose if you take that literally as "50.001% or more" I'd buy that based on the number of people here who have expressed a desire to do the whole enchilada... but for many of us, it IS just the clothes and we have no interest whatsoever in the mannerisms, eyebrows, and all that other stuff you listed that I'm too lazy to scroll back and repeat.

And because I haven't reached my pain-in-the-ass quota today I'll also take issue with your use of "femme" as a noun. Is there some linguistic difference I'm not aware of between treated as a femme vs. being treated as a female/woman/girl?

[Wen4cd]

Just clothes? Think symbolically.

What do the clothes represent?

[ReineD]

The majority you say? Here we go on another statistical dispute... I suppose if you take that literally as "50.001% or more" I'd buy that based on the number of people here who have expressed a desire to do the whole enchilada... but for many of us, it IS just the clothes and we have no interest whatsoever in the mannerisms, eyebrows, and all that other stuff you listed that I'm too lazy to scroll back and repeat.

And because I haven't reached my pain-in-the-ass quota today I'll also take issue with your use of "femme" as a noun. Is there some linguistic difference I'm not aware of between treated as a femme vs. being treated as a female/woman/girl?

You are correct. Based on all the threads I've read here, many more than 50% of CDs give the impression their CDing is more than just wearing the clothes. This is why I said most. I know there are some CDs to whom my statement does not apply.

I am French. In my language, "femme" (meaning woman) is a noun. The first time I heard the term used in conjunction with the CDing (by my SO), it was used as a noun. "I wish to present as "femme", or "I am going out en-femme (dressed as a woman)". Some people here have written, "getting all femmed-up (dolled-up), and to me this seemed odd. But, I don't take exception to it because I get what the members are getting at and I do not wish to take the focus away from the thread with a discussion about semantics.

I am asking other posters to this thread to keep their comments as they relate to the OPs question, and not turn her thread into a statistical or semantics dispute.

[GaleWarning]

Stackings are NOT just items of clothing. They accentuate one's legs in so many ways. They look wonderful, they feel marvelous, they are sensational!
:)

[AndroRemi]

It is all in perception. If you dress just because you want to wear the opposite gender's clothing, then yes, it is just clothing. If you dress because you want to feel, be seen as, or believe yourself to be the other gender or as part of a fetish, then it is more than just clothes. You just have to keep in mind that while you may perceive things one way, the chances of other people sharing that exact perception are pretty slim.

[Joanne f]

Yes they are just clothes the same as a Rolls Royce,Ferrari or Bugatti are just cars but it is funny how being in different things can make you feel a lot different :drooling: it is what these things represent to us in our minds that make all the difference.

[JennyS.]

I think for many of us, it's not so much the clothes themselves, but the feeling of the clothes. If I'm underdressed and my legs are smooth, I still get the 'feeling' of being dressed. And it feels fantastic. And yes, if I'm fully dressed all my mannerisms change.

[carrie-ann]

Your wright they are cloths,but they make me whole. That is what they are to me.

[Ronni Seymour]

Meghan, honestly I don't believe it is just about the clothes. Otherwise there would be no wigs, forms, body shaving, trimmed eyebrows, long hair & nails, makeup, accessories, attempts to soften the voice and adopt feminine mannerisms such as the walk, speaking a certain way, etc. I don't know how you fit into this, but the majority of CDers want the full femme experience, feeling femme as much as they can and be validated and respected as femmes.


I'll fit in here, thank you!!:battingeyelashes:

[Kate Simmons]

It depends really. The outside usually reflects the inside.:)

[Jonianne]

Choosing a clothing style has a lot to do with identity. For me, it's a way to identify with or as "femme".

[Karren H]

Just clothes..... But because your doing something your not supposed to be doing with those clothes!! Breaking the rules!! Not getting caught!!! Exciting!!

Bet if guys weren't allowed to wear jeans then everyone would be going crazy over them tooo?? Wait... Bad example...

Ok.......... if men weren't allowed to wear a neck tie!! Then everyone of us would be wearing a sexy necktie under our shirts!! Lol.

[sissystephanie]

Sure, they are just clothes! But, Oh what a difference a dress makes!! Or a skirt and top, etc.!!!

I have no desire to become a woman! I just love to dress like one, and feel the soft flowing lines of my dress, skirt, or whatever with pretty panties underneath! To feel the soft wind blowing against and up my nylon clad legs all the way up to my satin or silk panties. Those feelings, which only a GG, or a MtF CD can appreciate, are why I dress! And why that particular type of clothing goes way beyond being "just clothes!!"

[jweanie1]

I have a question for the Cders here. This is something that continues to confuse me. Im a GG and very new to this whole thing. I have heard many cders (mine included) that that whether they are dressed en-femme or drab that its still "my guy" underneath. Is it really? Because what everyone is say here is that its NOT just the clothes. That when you put them on you want to feel, act and be treated like a woman. So if thats the case then how can my SO still be "my guy" when dressed? Is this just an answer to get us to accept? Do tell.

Jean

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Actually, no, clothes are not "just clothes", otherwise we'd all dress the same, men or women. Clothes all through history are costume, statements about who we are, how we see ourselves, where we fit in society, whether we are conformists or rebels. From the banker in a three piece suit and a conservative tie expressing sobriety and responsibility to a goth in heavy eye makeup and all black clothing showing their disdain for social norms, to what we do, dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex because it expresses who we are way down where we live.

Our clothes show affiliation with a certain lifestyle, or economic class, or who we'd like to be. And by clothes, I'm not just talking about "threads" but other things that go along with a look, such as hairstyle, cosmetics, body art, jewelry and every other sort of adornment. Perhaps more to the point here, clothes also express how we feel about our gender.

Anyway, clothes aren't "just clothes" and probably never have been. No need to get too deep into it, though, just wear what you like and what makes you feel good and thank your stars you have an SO who is supportive and likes to have fun with you.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Zoiq]

To me, and remember it may not be the same for everyone...

but to me, it is to look, feel and present myself as female, the desire to express myself as a member of the softer gender, its not the clothes etc themselves.

I dont know if its unfortunate or a horrible side effect of my upbringing, but...

...while I love being dressed, particularly when I can do so for the whole day, and although I feel great all day and for several days after...

...I dont like that I have the urge to and gain such joy from doing something which is NOT socially accepted.

[Sarah Michelle]

the clothes effect a transformation. they allow an inner and trapped person into the light. my job sometimes required me to adopt roles [not an actor] and those roles came with clothes and props but they were always just roles.
my women's clothes lighten my body and my spirit, the dressed me is at peace within.
as to the GGs question about the real guy being within; maybe yes maybe no. your SO obviously isn't completely satisfied in the role assigned to him by society based on his physical attributes, there is obviously a deeper need but is it any different from people who need to go backpacking or canoing in survivalist mode for a week or two a year? that also answers a basic need that can't be filled in day-to-day life...
cross-dressing just hasn't achieved the social acceptance of some of the other self-actualization pursuits.... weekend warriors, garage bands, hunters, shooters, hot rod builders.. the list goes on..

[Joanne f]

I have a question for the Cders here. This is something that continues to confuse me. Im a GG and very new to this whole thing. I have heard many cders (mine included) that that whether they are dressed en-femme or drab that its still "my guy" underneath. Is it really? Because what everyone is say here is that its NOT just the clothes. That when you put them on you want to feel, act and be treated like a woman. So if thats the case then how can my SO still be "my guy" when dressed? Is this just an answer to get us to accept? Do tell.

Jean
Hello Jean,
What is usually meant by that is that the person has always had these two sides to them "male and female" so in that respect they have always been the same person , but for most they have only been aloud to show their male side so that has been dominant in most relationships so when they say i am no different than i have always been they are right up to a point .
But the problem is that in a lot of case`s once the female side has been aloud to come out it usually takes over the male side , don`t ask me why as i don`t know maybe it is simply that after being locked up for a long time it needs to be dominant before the person can get some sort of balance in the long run but unfortunately if this balance is not reach then one has to be dominant .

[suit]

or is it just a value thing ? as the "world and its thoughtfull inhabatance gets more syophisicoticatated" the most valuble thing is not big gun , a big house , a sworde that killed 50000. nope its the female form. it matters more than address, more than history more than the incurable desesessis that may come along with the package , it is not the base maniquine like anorexic form .....its the clothes.. the baby makiers clothes the most valuable thing inthe known universe babymakers.....the dead on avarage 16 year old babymakers. h ahahahahahhha you think too mutch !

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Oddly disturbing.

-JMC



or is it just a value thing ? as the "world and its thoughtfull inhabatance gets more syophisicoticatated" the most valuble thing is not big gun , a big house , a sworde that killed 50000. nope its the female form. it matters more than address, more than history more than the incurable desesessis that may come along with the package , it is not the base maniquine like anorexic form .....its the clothes.. the baby makiers clothes the most valuable thing inthe known universe babymakers.....the dead on avarage 16 year old babymakers. h ahahahahahhha you think too mutch !

[sherri52]

Meghan you will get different responces here and it is my belief that over have will tell you the are not just clothes. For many they are not sensual. Whichever the case for you, you have someone to share it with. Be Happy some of us do not and wish we did.:daydreaming:

[skirtsuit]

I have a question for the Cders here. This is something that continues to confuse me. Im a GG and very new to this whole thing. I have heard many cders (mine included) that that whether they are dressed en-femme or drab that its still "my guy" underneath. Is it really? Because what everyone is say here is that its NOT just the clothes. That when you put them on you want to feel, act and be treated like a woman. So if thats the case then how can my SO still be "my guy" when dressed? Is this just an answer to get us to accept? Do tell.

Don't let all the trangendered folks on this crossdressers forum confuse you. There are many men who do NOT crossdress to 'get in touch with their feminine side' or wish to be treated like women when dressed, they may be like me and may be completely obsessed with womens clothes. I love shopping, buying, collecting and wearing womens clothing because I really like it. I don't feel more feminine when dressed, but the thrill of a nice pair of hose and a pretty lined dress is the same as it was when I was 15.

All the Best,
Ann / SS

[Carly D.]

I've always said that they are just clothes and it all starts with thread.. just simple as that I guess..

[Rebecca Jayne]

Clothes may make you look feminine and help you feel feminine

Its you soul,
Your inner being,
Your character
Your state of mind
Chemistry
Emotion

That is female
And that part helps you choose what clothes to wear when you dress.

[charlie]

Meghan, honestly I don't believe it is just about the clothes. Otherwise there would be no wigs, forms, body shaving, trimmed eyebrows, long hair & nails, makeup, accessories, attempts to soften the voice and adopt feminine mannerisms such as the walk, speaking a certain way, etc. I don't know how you fit into this, but the majority of CDers want the full femme experience, feeling femme as much as they can and be validated and respected as femmes.

But whatever it is for you, enjoy!! :hugs:

ReineD got it right! It isn't just clothes. It is the whole feminine deal that I try to get right. The clothes are the obvious part. The feelings and expression within is the main part.

[Joy Carter]

That part of your brain, I'll call it "the pleasure center," is quite stimulated when your doing something you really love. Add that taboo-ness of it, it produces quite a rush. Or so it did the first few times for me. Right now it feels right, like this is what was supposed to be. I recall the first night I went out fully dressed and I had a great time. When I went to bed that night I could still smell my perfume, I thought of all that had happened, the others I had met. I said to myself "I'm home." I know, kinda corny but it really felt good being as much female as I allow myself.

[Meghan]

Actually, no, clothes are not "just clothes", otherwise we'd all dress the same, men or women. Clothes all through history are costume, statements about who we are, how we see ourselves, where we fit in society, whether we are conformists or rebels. From the banker in a three piece suit and a conservative tie expressing sobriety and responsibility to a goth in heavy eye makeup and all black clothing showing their disdain for social norms, to what we do, dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex because it expresses who we are way down where we live.

Our clothes show affiliation with a certain lifestyle, or economic class, or who we'd like to be. And by clothes, I'm not just talking about "threads" but other things that go along with a look, such as hairstyle, cosmetics, body art, jewelry and every other sort of adornment. Perhaps more to the point here, clothes also express how we feel about our gender.

Anyway, clothes aren't "just clothes" and probably never have been. No need to get too deep into it, though, just wear what you like and what makes you feel good and thank your stars you have an SO who is supportive and likes to have fun with you.

Hugs...Joni Mari

Joni,

Thank you!!!

What a wonderful and inspirational post.

Our relationship started knowing that she had a dominant role and mine the submissive one...we made no bones about it. I knew she had bisexual tendencies, and she knew I did too. As we discovered these things about each other, it was a wonderful journey.

I really do think she understands now why I pick the girl character in every video game we play.

Over the past several months, and for sure this weekend, I think she asked for, and I gave her, the key to who I am.

The clothes don't explain why my only successful business partners were women, they don't explain the pain I went through getting in trouble for hanging out with the girls when I was in grade school.

But goodness, the power and the feeling of getting to show her that side of me was scary, and an incredible rush of acceptance. And she smiled the whole time.

To be sure, my dressing will never ever be more important than what she needs. And if she needs me in drab, so be it.

I have known forever it's not just clothes, but an expression of who I am. I just have trouble defeating that argument sometimes.

You have helped me greatly.

Meghan

[Oddlee]

Dad, it's no big deal, they're just clothes. Of course, she's known me all her life, knows the person I am, and that I'm pretty much the same whatever I'm wearing (jeans and t-shirt, business casual, bike clothes in her early experience). She's only known that I cross-dress for the last couple years, and she doesn't care re: her statement, "it's just clothes."

So my thought is that to those who don't have this affliction (or gift), it is *just clothes* but to those of us on the inside it is all of the insightful things so many of you have mentioned.

Most of my discussions with my daughter have centered around new boyfriends (hers) and events at school, and various professors. We have not had a discussion about it's not just clothes although I think it would be interesting to have such a conversation. I think I would learn a lot about myself while trying to explain what I meant by that.

Lee