View Full Version : Shopping epiphany
OK maybe epiphany is way over used but I believe it to be true in this case. I went for a trip to Toronto Canada recently for some cross dressing fun. When I arrived at the border, I was asked to park my car and come inside. I was asked the cursory questions "where are you headed, how long will you be in the county, what is the purpose of your visit". I answered them all and was asked to sit down. A few minutes pass and a woman walks over to me and asks for my car keys. She is going to search my car. Well I am thinking it's just a simple search for weapons or drugs (of which I had none) and I am on my way. Well this turned out to be the most exhaustive and invasive search I have ever had. She is searching my luggage and of course she discovers all of my "girl clothes". "who do these belong to"? I lie and say they belong to my wife. More searching and she discovers my wigs and breast forms. She then says to me "these are yours right"? I mean I don't care that you wear these I just need to know why you are coming into the country". I'm thinking to myself WTF does this have to do with why I am visiting Toronto? We go back and forth and finally I say "Look, if you want to believe that stuff belongs to me, go right ahead, OK, yeah, it's mine". Finally I am on my way, but I am furious about this really invasive search. I get to Toronto and still angry, I decide not to stay. Now when I arrive at the US border, I think I am American so this shouldn't be a problem. WRONG!!!!!!!! Same thing again. Same exhaustive and invasive search. Except this time when asked about the women's clothing, wigs, breast forms........... I just say they are mine. Screw it, I don't care! So on my way home I think to myself "I am so tired hiding and of worrying about what people think about me wearing what I like,I am not hurting anyone , and if you really don't like that's just to bad! I am NOT going to be embarrassed about walking into a ladies clothing store and browsing and buying. No more lies about this is for my wife/girlfriend/mom/sister/aunt. So I went on a lil' shopping spree. The next morning I got up and drove to the Fashion Bug. No sitting in my car, waffling, walking by the store to see if it looks empty enough for me. Nope, park and walk right in. The SA walks over to me and tells me about some sales and off I go. I bought a new top,2 pairs of leggings (great sale $5.00 each) a really nice fuchsia dress and some earrings. Then I went to Nine West outlet(my favorite shoe store) and another sale going on so I bought a nice pair of suede shoes and for the first time actually tried on women's shoes in the store. Don't like it? Don't care! Lastly, I needed a strapless bra for my new dress and so went right into the Maidenform store. Another sale, panties= 3 pair for $15 so I got three pairs.I have also grown a little more bold about going out. I needed to get something from my car while I was wearing my new dress and just said to myself "oh, who cares if anyone sees me" and went outside. I do know I need to be a li' more careful about that because there are some dangers involved.
Rebecca Jayne
10-12-2009, 09:59 PM
Vash Dear you poor girl, :eek:you survived the ordeal of a lifetime
It sounds to me though that now you are a changed woman
And for the better. So I believe it was worth it to have your blood boil at the border crossings to earn your right of passage.
Now you will always stand tall!
Not knowing what you name is , I have known individuals named David Jones that were always put on terror alert list because its a common name for bad folk to use and he had to get a document from homeland security to make his travel passage easier, no more shakedowns. You might check that out.
Now you must take a pic of you modeling your new clothes.
goofus
10-12-2009, 10:21 PM
Good for you...who cares what anyone else thinks, including the border guards. It's not illegal to have opposite gender clothing in your possesion (as long as it isn't stolen of course :) )...you have nothing to hide and therefore nothing to fear :)
rebecca_morris_75
10-12-2009, 10:26 PM
Sorry you had to go through all of that, but, WOW, your post filled me with tons of confidence for my next shopping trip :):):)
Thanks for sharing :)
AllieSF
10-12-2009, 10:28 PM
I have back and forth across the Canadian and US border several times by plane and car. I have always noticed that the Canadian border guards tend to be very direct, no-nonsense professionals who do not smile and always seem to ask their questions in a hard way trying to catch the person unawares. That is their job too. On the other hand, I have never had problems when returning to the US. Maybe that is why our border is so porous! As you have learned, just answer their questions honestly and you may traverse the border quicker next time.
Miranda09
10-12-2009, 10:42 PM
Well, so much for international travel huh??? At least no one harrased you about the clothing, invasive as it was. It's nice to hear you've gotten more bold in going out enfemme, BUT, please be careful. You never know what might be lurking!!:hugs:
sissystephanie
10-12-2009, 11:00 PM
Gee, you look so much like a Terrorist!!:heehee: Seriously, I know you feel you were really hassled, but remember, those Border Guards were just doing their jobs.
Besides, look what their actions pushed you into doing? You now know that you can go shopping in drab or enfemme without any problems! Maybe you ought to go back and thank the Border Guards.......!! On second thought, skip that idea..........!!!
Keep shopping!!!:)
Sara Jean
10-12-2009, 11:27 PM
I get hassled and searched all the time when i go visit my mother in windsor and yes i was questioned about my clothing one time by the canadain side the US side never asked me
April Renee
10-13-2009, 12:07 AM
Sorry that your boarder crossing turned in to a fiasco,that must have sucked, but it sounds like it gave you a good boost in confidence!
.
Now let's talk about that bed spread in the pic?!? Umm wtf?
.
April
RobertaM
10-13-2009, 01:10 AM
dont feel bad i too had an incident,,
from a previous post
I was in LA again on biz, decided to have some side fun. Interesting in vancouver security, beeeeep,, my carry bag,, including all my girl stuff , had a knife it. I had forgotten to take out a corkscrew knife from my europe trip where i had checked in bags, oooo shit,, Security pulling my bag apart with my girl stuff showing, He kinda hickuped when he saw my silicon forms, lol,, poor kid. , he was really good about it, didnt even bat an eye,,, I was more worried about co workers that were on my same flight to see some of this stuff!!!!! omg,, phew
Huntress
10-13-2009, 01:14 AM
Ah. The vaunted border puppies. Unable to actually be brave enough to herd, like the border collie. They cluster in little kiosks and harass citizens coming to add money to their countries coffers. Ability to catch an actual trained terrorist, or iceberg lettuce picker, near zero. All the actual security & law enforcement skill of an armed meter maid (not french maid.) Ah. The old East German border service, now that was a truly effective group. Pretty evil in application, but as long as we are trending that way with such social cowardice. Why delay. Certainly would cut down on breast form smuggling. Apparently a very inflated problem in Provincetown.
De Oppresso Liber,
Huntress
Vash Dear you poor girl, :eek:you survived the ordeal of a lifetime
It sounds to me though that now you are a changed woman
And for the better. So I believe it was worth it to have your blood boil at the border crossings to earn your right of passage.
Now you will always stand tall!
Not knowing what you name is , I have known individuals named David Jones that were always put on terror alert list because its a common name for bad folk to use and he had to get a document from homeland security to make his travel passage easier, no more shakedowns. You might check that out.
Now you must take a pic of you modeling your new clothes.
Well this is not the first time I have had trouble with the Canadians, crossing the border (but the first time with women's clothing) so I am sure there must be something about me that is on their radar. pic is coming soon
Sorry you had to go through all of that, but, WOW, your post filled me with tons of confidence for my next shopping trip :):):)
Thanks for sharing :)
Good for you Rebecca! you look good enough to be shopping for anyone's cloths
Sorry that your boarder crossing turned in to a fiasco,that must have sucked, but it sounds like it gave you a good boost in confidence!
.
Now let's talk about that bed spread in the pic?!? Umm wtf?
.
April
Hey April, I just wanted to take a picture of my new "loot" because I knew I was going to share this story here. Unless you want to talk about how ugly it is. Hey that's where I hung my wig for the night, I don't get to pick the bedding <g>
ah. The vaunted border puppies. Unable to actually be brave enough to herd, like the border collie. They cluster in little kiosks and harass citizens coming to add money to their countries coffers. Ability to catch an actual trained terrorist, or iceberg lettuce picker, near zero. All the actual security & law enforcement skill of an armed meter maid (not french maid.) ah. The old east german border service, now that was a truly effective group. Pretty evil in application, but as long as we are trending that way with such social cowardice. Why delay. Certainly would cut down on breast form smuggling. Apparently a very inflated problem in provincetown.
De oppresso liber,
huntress
rofl
mklinden2010
10-13-2009, 05:48 AM
No, I don't think the word is over-used.
You got hassled.
It dawned on YOU that YOU were being hassled about being YOU.
As you said, "Screw that!"
It's not a shopping epiphany, it's a life epiphany.
Frankly, I'm glad you had your "mini-Stonewall" moment.
More should know them when they see them.
This week, our yard man got fired for coming into the side yard while we were getting breakfast ready.
He didn't get fired for my SO and I being in our houserobes, he got fired for not knocking or ringing the doorbell first.
That was just rude and he got fired for being rude.
Life is a two-way street, and then some...
crossdrezzer1
10-13-2009, 05:50 AM
I also got 3 pairs of them five dollar leggings,,, gonna be my long johns this winter..
No, I don't think the word is over-used.
You got hassled.
It dawned on YOU that YOU were being hassled about being YOU.
As you said, "Screw that!"
It's not a shopping epiphany, it's a life epiphany.
Frankly, I'm glad you had your "mini-Stonewall" moment.
More should know them when they see them.
This week, our yard man got fired for coming into the side yard while we were getting breakfast ready.
He didn't get fired for my SO and I being in our houserobes, he got fired for not knocking or ringing the doorbell first.
That was just rude and he got fired for being rude.
Life is a two-way street, and then some...
"mini-Stonewall" moment! I love that, and I am glad I had my "mini-Stonewall" moment too. Maybe it was a life epiphany as I do feel more wholesale changes in how I feel about crossdressinng. For now, here is a picture of me in my new dress. Thank you border guard http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/attach/jpg.gif
KayleeDahl
10-14-2009, 07:48 AM
Congratulations on your revelation. I think that it is a great quality to be able to take something negative that happens to you, and make the best of it, and you have clearly done that!
Hugs
-Sera
Leslie Langford
10-14-2009, 08:04 AM
dont feel bad i too had an incident,,
from a previous post
Just be grateful that you didn't get Tasered by the Mounties ("inside" joke for all our non-Canadian friends here.) :D
sterling12
10-14-2009, 10:47 AM
Since you got "The Full Treatment" going both ways, I have a feeling that you are now on Their "List." Doesn't matter if your not a terrorist, your just on "The List," and each one of these bureaucrats will go through their "special treatment routine," cause' that what The Manual says to do!
Since you have already been "outed," you might try contacting some of people who comprise "The Head Of The Horse," rather than talking at The Border to The Backside. Start using The Term "harassment," and use in loudly, and often. See if you can get some satisfaction, and get them to "call off The Dogs." You really have nothing to lose, and next time it might involve a strip search. Do you really want to go through that?
peace and Love, Joanie
Blaire
10-14-2009, 11:10 AM
I travel. A Lot. Too much. So, I think I'll toss in a few things here.
First, I think it's terrible that the so-called "worlds longest undefended border" has become such a pain in the hiney to cross. Remember when all it took was a license plate? *sigh*
Gals, do remember to know the laws wherever you go. If this same kind of search was done in say, Yemen, you wouldn't have got away so easy. Or so... how to say it? Intact.
That said, as long as you are aware of the laws, aren't beligerant, and are co-operative, it should never be a problem. I breezed through a hand search on my last trip. The guy opened a shoe box and held up a nice black 5" heel up to look at closely. No just him, but everyone around got a look. Embarassing, yes. Problem, no.
These people aren't necessarily the brightest bulbs in the place, but they are charged with "defending the territory." Don't dick them around - in todays time, they're not taking chances. Mislead them even a little, and they've got every right, and every desire, to make your travel difficult.
Leslie Langford
10-14-2009, 01:53 PM
Well this is not the first time I have had trouble with the Canadians, crossing the border (but the first time with women's clothing) so I am sure there must be something about me that is on their radar. pic is coming soon
...and are taking it out on you because the U.S. - dominated group of NHL hockey commissioners fought tooth and nail to prevent the bankrupt Phoenix Coyotes team from relocating to Canada, even though BlackBerry co-founder and billionaire Jim Balsillie was prepared to pay top dollar for it. Hey, it's our sport, after all, since you guys can lay claim to baseball! :tongueout.
All kidding aside, have you ever considered getting a "NEXUS" card? Makes border crossings much simpler once you have one, and if there's something in your file somewhere that is causing you to get repeatedly "red-flagged" by customs agents, the background check required for it should uncover that as well.
Here's a link:
http://canada-immigration-info.ca/nexus.htm
...and are taking it out on you because the U.S. - dominated group of NHL hockey commissioners fought tooth and nail to prevent the bankrupt Phoenix Coyotes team from relocating to Canada, even though BlackBerry co-founder and billionaire Jim Balsillie was prepared to pay top dollar for it. Hey, it's our sport, after all, since you guys can lay claim to baseball! :tongueout.
All kidding aside, have you ever considered getting a "NEXUS" card? Makes border crossings much simpler once you have one, and if there's something in your file somewhere that is causing you to get repeatedly "red-flagged" by customs agents, the background check required for it should uncover that as well.
Here's a link:
http://canada-immigration-info.ca/nexus.htm
Well I have traveled internationally quite a few times and NEVER had any problem at all except for travel to Canada and since,with all do respect to my fellow North Americans across the border, I now have NO interest in seeing anymore of Canada a NEXUS card serves me no purpose. I'm still a little bitter about Canada but I am working through it <g>
Leslie Langford
10-14-2009, 08:48 PM
Well I have traveled internationally quite a few times and NEVER had any problem at all except for travel to Canada and since,with all do respect to my fellow North Americans across the border, I now have NO interest in seeing anymore of Canada a NEXUS card serves me no purpose. I'm still a little bitter about Canada but I am working through it <g>
...some of the comedians we've sent down to you guys over the years (Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, John Candy, Martin Short, Dan Aykroyd, Eugene Levy, Rich Little, David Steinberg, Wayne and Shuster, John Wing, Russell Peters, Norm Macdonald, Dave Foley etc., etc. - not to mention those crossdressing "Kids in the Hall" - should be able to give you a laugh or two and get you out of your funk :doh::).
julie w
10-18-2009, 10:51 AM
I travel a lot by air and cross the border by car a couple of times a
year ,if you are travelling alone they will always give you extra questions
and if you dont tell the truth they will spot it in a heartbeat I
went to fantasia fair in provincetown ,on my own they asked where am I going - been,-I said a crossdressing convention in p-town they knew I was telling
the truth ,Have a nice time ,
weekend woman
10-18-2009, 11:09 AM
OK girls I can go you 1 better, I have been stopped at a border patrol check point in of all places White River Jct Vermont. This little town is well over 100 miles from the Canadian border. When stopped , I rolled down my window and in my best Jersey accent said "HOW U DOIN" and was immediately sent on my way. The best part was I was wearing a dress at the time, no wig or makeup though.
Yvonne York
10-18-2009, 11:10 AM
Good that the whole nasty experience helped you to be so much more confident. Suppose I am lucky, as I travel usually with my wife, but we have had some interesting searches flying out of Britain. We oftgen travel light, we hand bagage only, an d it is alwways the case I am carrying that gets searched. And sure enough, my bras, panties, nighties etc come out. Usually my lovely wife sees what is happening, and comes over making it clear we are together. But what the hell if the guy knows it is my stuff. Mine, sexy, and proud!
tricia_uktv
10-18-2009, 12:02 PM
Hi Vash, looks like you're about ready to have some real fun! Go for it giel, and I wish you all the luck in the world :)
Cristi
10-18-2009, 12:36 PM
I wonder what it was that 'profiled' you to be searched in both directions?
Funny thing, I was going to Toronto at about the same time (crossing at Niagra on 10/10). I was in drab but wearing a bra and panties (hoping I wouldn't be strip searched! :) ). I also had quite a few femme clothes in the car. But after a 45 minute wait in traffic, I was waved through with just a few cursory questions.
I came back through the VT border just a few days ago and it was eve faster. I 'confessed' to bringing in a few more bottles of wine than is allowed, but the border guard just said 'enjoy them' and waved my through.
My only thought now about your situation is that you are now in the database somewhere. I'm SURE they must keep notes about your interview/search which are now a part of your permanent record. I wonder if the person who interviewed you though the female clothing was significant enough to mention in the notes...
BTW: I DID stay in Toronto for several days, but never got a chance to check out any of the GLBT night life. :(
Sally2005
10-18-2009, 12:40 PM
Does it help to know that most of what the Canada custom's agents are looking for is related to collecting duties and tax. They probably just wanted to know that you were not smuggling women's clothing to sell it or something. At least, I'm pretty sure they treat everyone equally as poorly. I have a bit of a fobia when it comes to crossing the border too!
Cristi
10-18-2009, 12:46 PM
OK girls I can go you 1 better, I have been stopped at a border patrol check point in of all places White River Jct Vermont. This little town is well over 100 miles from the Canadian border. When stopped , I rolled down my window and in my best Jersey accent said "HOW U DOIN" and was immediately sent on my way. The best part was I was wearing a dress at the time, no wig or makeup though.
I've been stopped there a lot (live in Southern VT and travel to White River and St. Johnsbury a lot). It is strange to see border patrol so far from the border, but the laws let them do their thing up to somewhere around 100 miles from any international border.
They like that spot because it is just after all the Southern traffic from Rte 89 gets dumped onto Rte 91 and people who crossed illegally are probably no longer being stealthy on back roads.
I think at that one they are mostly looking for unsuspecting illegal immigrants. All they've ever asked me is 'are you a US citizen'. I've been tempted to say 'si' in my best/worst fake spanish accent, but never have.
I too have gone through that checkpoint in a skirt after shopping in the malls across the river in NH, but didn't have makeup on so I doubt if the agent ever noticed anything (it was at night).
OK girls I can go you 1 better, I have been stopped at a border patrol check point in of all places White River Jct Vermont. This little town is well over 100 miles from the Canadian border. When stopped , I rolled down my window and in my best Jersey accent said "HOW U DOIN" and was immediately sent on my way. The best part was I was wearing a dress at the time, no wig or makeup though.
Wow, and I thought Canada was crazy. I do know that the "state" border between Oregon and California has a check point but it is really informal and all they are checking for is produce going from state to state
I wonder what it was that 'profiled' you to be searched in both directions?
Funny thing, I was going to Toronto at about the same time (crossing at Niagra on 10/10). I was in drab but wearing a bra and panties (hoping I wouldn't be strip searched! :) ). I also had quite a few femme clothes in the car. But after a 45 minute wait in traffic, I was waved through with just a few cursory questions.
I came back through the VT border just a few days ago and it was eve faster. I 'confessed' to bringing in a few more bottles of wine than is allowed, but the border guard just said 'enjoy them' and waved my through.
My only thought now about your situation is that you are now in the database somewhere. I'm SURE they must keep notes about your interview/search which are now a part of your permanent record. I wonder if the person who interviewed you though the female clothing was significant enough to mention in the notes...
BTW: I DID stay in Toronto for several days, but never got a chance to check out any of the GLBT night life. :(
Ya know, I was wearing a bra and panties also and thought about what if this turns into a search of my person instead of just a search of my property. As for whether or not she would put that in her notes.......... I am almost positive she would because she was so adamant about those things in my car and insistent that I take "ownership" of them. But at this point I really don't care about what Canadian border agents think or know about me because a) I have no intention of returning to Canada anytime soon and b) I am fine with the fact that I like to wear female clothes and if they are not .......... that is their problem not mine ( yeah OK I am still working on my anger issues with Canada <G>)
Hi Vash, looks like you're about ready to have some real fun! Go for it giel, and I wish you all the luck in the world :)
Thanks Tricia
Daphne Renee
10-19-2009, 12:16 AM
Sorry you had to go through all that . It sounds like you are a better person for having to do that. There is an old saying and this may not be exactly word for word .."That which doesnt kill you makes you stronger".
Like I said that might not be the exact phrase but it certainly seems to fit in your situation.
Fran Moore
10-19-2009, 10:01 AM
Hi Vash,
Sorry you had to endure the border B.S. It reminded me of being in Atlanta for the SCC convention in 2001 just after 9/11. Many of us "girls" went thru extensive luggage searches at the airport and were "exposed" in front of lines of fellow passengers. It's invasive, embarrasing, and offensive, but the worst thing we can do is act that we feel that way, as it just adds to the searchers satisfaction. Better to just smile thru it and you can always add a couple of innocent comments like "I have a friend of mine who is a border guard who wears the same type of clothes that I do", or "that color would look great on you"!
I think it is only natural to feel somewhat offended when anyone searches our belongings no matter what they might contain. Just keep smiling and kill
'em with kindness.:)
Suzanne
Hi Vash,
Sorry you had to endure the border B.S. It reminded me of being in Atlanta for the SCC convention in 2001 just after 9/11. Many of us "girls" went thru extensive luggage searches at the airport and were "exposed" in front of lines of fellow passengers. It's invasive, embarrasing, and offensive, but the worst thing we can do is act that we feel that way, as it just adds to the searchers satisfaction. Better to just smile thru it and you can always add a couple of innocent comments like "I have a friend of mine who is a border guard who wears the same type of clothes that I do", or "that color would look great on you"!
I think it is only natural to feel somewhat offended when anyone searches our belongings no matter what they might contain. Just keep smiling and kill
'em with kindness.:)
Suzanne
You know Suzanne, I don't think the search bothered me as much as when she discovered the things and she felt a need to ask me about them. They were clothes. Not drugs or weapons or contraband. Since she had already concluded in her mind that they belonged to me and that I indeed wear them, why the need to confront me about it? If it had been "OK,here are some ladies clothes, and a camera, some souvenirs, no drugs or weapons ...... OK enjoy your stay here in Canada" I would not be upset at all. But her intent seemed to be to embarrass me. And I admit that at the time I was. A valuable experience for me as I now don't care what Canadians(really I am working on these anger issues <lol>) or for that matter anyone else thinks about me buying,owning or wearing what I like
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