keeping Crossdressing a secert, When does the big bubble you've created brust

[Natalie_393]

I'm currently 25, Now I can say that I hanvn't expericened much of my life yet, but so far I've kept my crossdressing side of me a secert, all through out my school years and now in my career, I don't have SO to keep a secert form, and none of my friends or family know.....Latley I've been festering over the fact someday that big buddle I've created over the years, is going to burst. I'm living a double life almost and now that i'm growing up I'm having trouble finding a common ground between the two of them. I don't think I've fully accepted my crossdressing side yet, I was wondering what are some other girls thoughts on this subject?

[tamarav]

One of the things that has always fascinated me about this activity is that none of us can keep a secret about this forever. Understandably, we are proud of our other side and want others to see and accept it.

That being said, your bubble will burst, when you want it to, not before. So, enjoy your life and take your time to reveal something that is like ringing a bell...

Your sis,

Tami

[Barbara918]

I respectfully disagree with Tamarav; there's another possibility.

My bubble burst when staying in the closet became so stressful it affected my physical health. I had every sympyom in the book -- insomnia, jitteriness, BP headaches, you name it. After consulting with my physician and a psychiatrist, I decided I had to get out of my self-imposed confinement...started telling friends, going out dressed.
Best decision I ever made -- within 3 weeks, all my symptoms were gone. And I didn't lose any friends over my CDing; on the contrary, they tell me I'm a lot happier now.
As someone once said, you wouldn't worry so much about what people think of you if you realized just how seldom they think of you.

[Ann Thomas]

I didn't fully accept my feminine side until relatively recently. Like you, in my mid-20's I was trying to hide it, in fact was repulsed by it due to my upbringing. (Very judgemental religious right type.) My journey took me through accepting other parts of who I was (other parts, not the crossdressing), and with each step I felt more whole. Accepting my crossdressing was a huge step forward, and it's helped me a lot to become a complete person (I still feel there are more steps to go.)

Coming out takes huge risks and requires a great deal of strength. If you have it in you to do so now, you'll be better off. You'll get rejection from places you might not expect. On the other hand you'll get support where you might not expect it either. It will help tremendously in finding an SO - look at how many on here tell stories of very supportive SO's. Someone you've not yet met might be attracted to that strength, to be able to be yourself, and you'll find a whole lot of happiness in the process.

I have many regrets in life from not standing for my own self over the years. The only thing I can address that with, is that it all happened the way it did for a reason. I might wish I'd come out younger, but maybe it was best I did it the way I did, and in the timing I chose.

Hope that helps a bit.

Hugs,
Ann

[AmiFL]

My crossdressing has always been a secret from almost everyone. I have shared my thoughts and desires 4 times with varied responses.

If you are not sure what to do.... don't do anything. Just like when you computer asks "ARE YOU SURE". It is the safest course of action. When the time comes, or the right person walks into your life, you will know it, then act accordingly.

You always have all of use to vent to. I vent here all the time.

Thank you all so very very much.

[Karren H]

Mine burst after I got sloppy and left a few skirts thrown in the back of my wardrobe.. And my wife found them... Up to that point I had kept it from her for almost 30 years.. And had hoped to keep it secret forever!! And I'm sure I could have if I had been more vigilant!!

[Chloe Renee]

I second the health strain. I hid it and after a while I started to get headaches and panic attacks from the stress.
I during that time felt similar feelings to what you described.

Over time I started to make friends here and in real life, which I could trust with this secret. Only after bursting the bubble did I find freedom.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

never was a secret since I told my wife about wanting to dress before I actually did dress...so she knew....others???? different story...but gradually have been coming out of late (past 4 or so months) to some...plus the wife revealed it to her brothetr who isn't at all pleased with it, but his wife wants to see how I look....or how Stephanie looks...other than him, I've encounted no problems at all so far...probably more to their indifference than any thing else....basically they probably don't care one way or the other..they may think it'sa bit weird or maybe they just have the attitude of "whatever floats your boat"....or simply don't care one way or the other...but haven't inter-reacted with them yet...

[Cary]

I'm in my mid 30s and have been cding since 8. I'm sure my bubble will burst one day, but I'm not rushing it. Only 3 people know what I do. I try not to advertise, but things always have a way of coming out. I live along, so the only downsides are visitors and being able to shop close to home.

[Rebecca Jayne]

A lot of us go through this lifestyle alone and hid for all of our lives. Many SO's do not want to participate, so you learn to adjust your sight a little differently.

You are so young, single
Enjoy your life
Relax
Take a deep breath

Try this;

Take a sheet of paper and make 2 columns and list whats important to you as both a male self and female self.

Also list goals for each.
This may help you find out where you are now and give you direction you desire, but please don't stew over this, stess is a silent killer.

Again enjoy your life, its a gift.

[Lorileah]

Bubbles burst from two reasons. Too much pressure from within or too much pressure from without. You have no control over the pressure from without. Years of fear and falsehoods about dressing have embedded themselves into society. You do have control over the pressure within. Thus by using that pressure you can burst that bubble before someone else does it for you.

Katie listed advantages to doing it yourself, I'll add one more. You will be honest, both with yourself and with those around you. You let someone else burst it you can be labeled a liar or coward. In the grand scheme of things I would rather not be a coward or a liar (well except when I play poker...but we call that bluffing). Being in control of your own destiny is a lot better than having someone else control it for you. Whispers behind your back are far worse than something said to your face. Knowledge is better than ignorance and right now in society ignorance prevails. This is especially true in the world today where if you put it on TV or the web it becomes truth. Your truth is stronger than made up truth, so burst the bubble

[Joanne f]

These days cross dressing is far more acceptable than it was 20-30 years ago so in that respect you have less to worry about , it would not be as big of a disaster that you are thinking, if people found out , but at 25 it is best just to see were your life takes you .

[dogadeniz]

If I ever tell my friends that I crossdress,
* Guys, it will probably be a scandal. I would be the last person for them to think.
* Girls, it is possible some would say "I was predicting" or "I already knew". You know, there's a phrase "Cat knows cats"

When I escort my girlfriends shopping, they usually say "hey you have a good taste"
When having some conversations "hey you very sensitive and full of empathy"

[tricia_uktv]

One of the things that has always fascinated me about this activity is that none of us can keep a secret about this forever. Understandably, we are proud of our other side and want others to see and accept it.

That being said, your bubble will burst, when you want it to, not before. So, enjoy your life and take your time to reveal something that is like ringing a bell...

Your sis,

Tami

Yay, its all about time and you being in control. You will want to scream it to the world at some point because it is a wonderful thing we are doing, but you have to temper that down with realism. When my bubble burst I only told a few people I could trust and have gradually expanded. Now all my friends and family know but my workplace is a different problem.

Maybe time to change that? I'm trying!

[SweetCaroline]

Start going out in public. Once outside, you pretty much set the wheels in motion.

For me, there was no turning back. The bubble is long gone.

[Sam-antha]

........ Understandably, we are proud of our other side and want others to see and accept it. Tami

This place sure helps to do just that pride justice ?
Seriously though, I have been living with my good wife for over 45 years and I am still in a bubble. Unless it has already burst and she is not letting me know.

~Samm

[Carly D.]

[QUOTE=AmiFL;1903884]My crossdressing has always been a secret from almost everyone. I have shared my thoughts and desires 4 times with varied responses.

If you are not sure what to do.... don't do anything. Just like when you computer asks "ARE YOU SURE". It is the safest course of action. When the time comes, or the right person walks into your life, you will know it, then act accordingly.

I agree.. but to each their own.. there are reasons to tell and reasons not to tell. for me I'm not sure what the reaction would be by everyone.. I think for the most part they could care less but there is the feeling that if I tell the world will reverse spin and I'll be in the twilight zone wondering why did I think that was a good idea.. what you have to do is think of as many possibilities that could happen.. good, bad, horrendous.. all the best things that could happen and to me the best thing would be "yea, we always knew as far back as when you wore some panties that were found".. and weren't whoever's.. not bad, not good, just ok..

[arbon]

I was doing some work at home and accidently attached a personal file to a work related email... :doh: :doh: :doh:

hmm, I fell into a pretty deep, dark hole mentally becuase of it. The whole lossing control of the secret sort of thing.

Bright side - maybe it is proving to be something of tipping point in my life, where I realize more and more that I don't like living in fear, shame and guilt about who I am.