Julie York
07-23-2005, 04:35 PM
"Ladies and Gentlemen....Fresh from her UK tour....Give a big hand for....Julie York!
Good evening Chicago!!!......Everyone happy?
.....So...As you can see I am a crossdresser...[waves hands down stunning glitter top,
mini skirt and stunning legs]....(whistles in distance)..
.thank you....ten dollars well spent....A crossdresser is actually different to a transvestite.
Not many people know that...but we smoke smaller cigarettes and
are harder to find on the internet under a Google search for Big *(moderatated)* in Panties.
I know....because Sundays can be very boring.
Also...a crossdresser is usually male and wears women's clothing.
Whereas a (quote waves fingers in air) "transvestite"..... murders women and wears their skins whilst wearing their Mothers clothes. It's a small distinction but Holywood like it.
I wouldn't mind but.... a pink dress?...With those shoes? Come on!! Get real!
(heckler...You're ugly!)
Yeah...Your Dad didn't think so.....Oh..and just so you know...he swallows.
So anyway....Crossdressing. There are a lot of people do it you know.
And it's really quite an artform. I know... I know....To an outsider it just looks like some ugly guy wearing his sister's frock. Which...in a lot of cases is true.
But the time and thought that go into it so you don't get caught.....MI5 and the CIA recruit crossdressers for their skills at deception and fraud. No kidding. I was asked to join MI5.
I said "Why me?" They said, "We can't find anyone else who has kept a secret for 40 years without killing them." I said. "Fair enough....What's the clothing allowance like?"...."£50 a week and as many shoes as you can fall off."
Hey it beats plumbing and it's not so hard on your nails. (waves long nails at the audience). These aren't real.....No seriously....They're MI5 special issue nails....Tungsten tipped....
I can kill a man at 50 paces just by putting a stamp on a letter too hard..
...Lick.....press...nail shoots off.....PING!......90 miles an hour!
Straight into someone's neck.
Once..I nearly missed my stop on the bus....got up in a hurry..pressed the bell...and killed an undercover Al Ceada agent.
....Ok...I admit it... that was a fluke.....but you get my point. And the woman who got the ricochette lived so that was o.k. And she was blind in that eye anyway.
And another thing about crossdressing that people don't know....It's amazingly creative.
No really. The average crossdresser keeps it so secret that they don't even have any clothes when they start doing it.
They invent them! Really...No really!......I for one confess...I do confess...
.I have worn a pullover...A normal stretchy pullover...By stretching the neck so far I could step into it and pretend it was a skirt...
with a large dangly belt........Oooh I see there's a few tried that one?
My Mother was a bit confused about that when I next wore my pullover and the neck was stretched out.
She thought my neck had shrunk.
And if you don't have a wig....you can spend your
early crossdressing life wearing a towel and pretending you just got out of the bath...
..(towel on head motion)....It works, but it looks stupid in an evening dress.
Anyway...you've been a great audience...YOU'VE JUST HAD JULIE YORK!....GOOD NIGHT!
Good evening Chicago!!!......Everyone happy?
.....So...As you can see I am a crossdresser...[waves hands down stunning glitter top,
mini skirt and stunning legs]....(whistles in distance)..
.thank you....ten dollars well spent....A crossdresser is actually different to a transvestite.
Not many people know that...but we smoke smaller cigarettes and
are harder to find on the internet under a Google search for Big *(moderatated)* in Panties.
I know....because Sundays can be very boring.
Also...a crossdresser is usually male and wears women's clothing.
Whereas a (quote waves fingers in air) "transvestite"..... murders women and wears their skins whilst wearing their Mothers clothes. It's a small distinction but Holywood like it.
I wouldn't mind but.... a pink dress?...With those shoes? Come on!! Get real!
(heckler...You're ugly!)
Yeah...Your Dad didn't think so.....Oh..and just so you know...he swallows.
So anyway....Crossdressing. There are a lot of people do it you know.
And it's really quite an artform. I know... I know....To an outsider it just looks like some ugly guy wearing his sister's frock. Which...in a lot of cases is true.
But the time and thought that go into it so you don't get caught.....MI5 and the CIA recruit crossdressers for their skills at deception and fraud. No kidding. I was asked to join MI5.
I said "Why me?" They said, "We can't find anyone else who has kept a secret for 40 years without killing them." I said. "Fair enough....What's the clothing allowance like?"...."£50 a week and as many shoes as you can fall off."
Hey it beats plumbing and it's not so hard on your nails. (waves long nails at the audience). These aren't real.....No seriously....They're MI5 special issue nails....Tungsten tipped....
I can kill a man at 50 paces just by putting a stamp on a letter too hard..
...Lick.....press...nail shoots off.....PING!......90 miles an hour!
Straight into someone's neck.
Once..I nearly missed my stop on the bus....got up in a hurry..pressed the bell...and killed an undercover Al Ceada agent.
....Ok...I admit it... that was a fluke.....but you get my point. And the woman who got the ricochette lived so that was o.k. And she was blind in that eye anyway.
And another thing about crossdressing that people don't know....It's amazingly creative.
No really. The average crossdresser keeps it so secret that they don't even have any clothes when they start doing it.
They invent them! Really...No really!......I for one confess...I do confess...
.I have worn a pullover...A normal stretchy pullover...By stretching the neck so far I could step into it and pretend it was a skirt...
with a large dangly belt........Oooh I see there's a few tried that one?
My Mother was a bit confused about that when I next wore my pullover and the neck was stretched out.
She thought my neck had shrunk.
And if you don't have a wig....you can spend your
early crossdressing life wearing a towel and pretending you just got out of the bath...
..(towel on head motion)....It works, but it looks stupid in an evening dress.
Anyway...you've been a great audience...YOU'VE JUST HAD JULIE YORK!....GOOD NIGHT!