Are there really an genetic woman out there who approve of cross dressing

[tanyacross]

Hi,
My name is Tanya and I am new to the forum. I am really keen to hear some opinions from genetic woman. I am married to a wonderful woman who I love very much but is neither understanding or accepting of my cross dressing.

On the one and only time she saw me cross dressed for a fancy dress as "Heidi" she asked me is I fancy myself as a woman in a playfull way, told me I looked cute, had a good figure and could dress as a girl. I was head over heels and thought all my dreams were coming true after 18 years as a closet CD. I thought I could use as an intro to come out, unfortunately the fairy tale ends there.

Everytime I try to raise cross dressing I get either the cold shoulder or put downs.

In other respects we have a good marriage and beleive it or not i think one of the things she values in me is my feminine side (good listner, sensitive, kind and considerate and love endless shopping) I am not the arrogant macho type that she dislikes so much but my freinds and colleugues consider me to have a good sense of humour and in my career (in a make dominated world) I have been extremley successful. I have mostly female freinds and we are close (as they are freind of both of us and because of the children I have never come out to them).

Question is are there no woman out there who could accept someone like me? One of the reasons for "outing myself" to my wife was that if I revealed my darkest secret it would not only releive lots of stress and anxiety but would bring us closer together and enhance our relationship (secretley I hoped that it would maybe lead to other things to enrich the relationship) and more importantly show her how i trust her so much as to be able to tell her.

Any idea where I am going wrong?:

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I know two women who don't mind crossdressing,my Wife and my GG Cousin.

Its sad that a lot of Wives/SO's don't accept their Husbands/Boyfriends crossdressing. I think the reason some don't is because they see that their guys look good or even more feminine then them and get jealous. Some might get jealous because its the "other women" thing and feel like they're cheating on them.I might be all wet on this but that's my opinion.





Felicity

[ginafaye]

honesty is very important,and you only have control of yourself,my wife helps me ,dress and truly enjoys this side of me ,but that said our family kids and life situations dicate that all our fun stay private. this is enough for me . i guess you and her need to find your own balance

[Carroll]

there're out there. I got one:)

[Tina B.]

For me it's a private thing, I keep in in the house, but in my castle I am queen! My wife knows and supports me in many ways, including shopping for and with me, giving gifts to me that are very feminine in nature, and if she is out and comes home and finds me dressed, will complement me on my look.
She has known for over 30 years, and has always supported me from the day I told her about it. So yes there are women out there that can and do support men like us. And there are many of them on this forum, so there is a good chance you will hear from some of them.
Tina

[sherri52]

If you have been reading this site you have found many ladies here that are lucky enough to have found one. I'm not one but thier here.

[Aska]

My wife is very accepting and seems to be having fun with it. She did tell me she better not come home and catch me in her clothes but we are shopping together for my clothes.

[tinalynn]

I'm one of them. Can't say that my wife helps me, and she doesn't want me to go out in fear of my safety, but at home its all fine. She found out before we married by finding my clothes when I went out of town. She's told me that she's glad she found out then, rather than after we were married. Something about trust and openness, and all that touchy feelly stuff... So, yeah, they're out there...

Find your own balance with her. If she doesn't want to see it , don't let her. It can be worked within any relationship... (If its a strong relationship.)

[mklinden2010]

People usually take their cues from the person they're nearest to... Your problem might just be you, not her.

If YOU're not comfortable enough to go about your life without her approval of your every thought and act, then she's probably not going to be comfortable with YOU either.

So, you keep this stupid secret, that you wear clothes (Clothes!) from your wife for 18 years. Hearing of this n-o-w, she plays along for a bit, gives some lip service to the idea, and you seem surprised that's all that happens. Surprised? How about being surprised she didn't leave, shoot you, or, both? How would you feel about her having a living "boy toy" stashed in the spare bedroom for 18 years?

Soooo, since then when you slyly bring it up, she gives you the cold shoulder and put downs. Why shouldn't she? Why shouldn't anybody? So, you do this thing... So what? What else is there to this to her except that you do it on the sly and seem ashamed of it and crawl around seeking, what is it.. Oh, yeah, "approval."

Look, if you like it so much, give yourself the extra approval you "need" and put some things in the closet and in the dresser. If she bitches, that means two things:

First, you now have something to talk about, and, second, you can note, "They're just clothes. They're paid for. It's our house... What's the problem?"

All you've done so far is dump a "problem" on her and leave it dumped there to annoy her as you seek... "approval." Approval? Look, she's still living with you... Does that not tell you anything about her approval-to-date? Act on your declared interests and new willingness to be open about them and get on with life.

She may not like it, but you have as much right to a "hobby/special interest/porn collection/stamp collection/firetruck as anyone else. And, if you "run off" later to pursue one of these interests... Well, that's life. So, too is her "running off" because you ain't what she wants either. Those are "common" worst case scenarios, but, from reading all these posts about CDers, not the most common thing at all. More often, people keep trying to get along, CDing or not...

So, odds are that if you (finally) show some good sense about managing yourself in a way that she can more easily relate to, i.e. be a little more open about your harmless interests and manly self, life will be more pleasant for both of you.

You brought it up - do something helpful about it using your own steam, not hers.

It takes some work, but what bridge gets built without it?

Oh, and please take your high heel off my pet peave...

You do not have a feminine side any more than your wife does. Which side would that be? The left, the right? Some other angle?

You have "a" personality and numerous characteristics. If you like talking more, emoting more, than the next person, fine. But, it's not a "guy thing" or a "girl thing," it's a people thing - and not so special even to people, as it turns out.

Give yourself a break, Tanya-not-your-real-given-name, and recognize that you're the same person no matter what you do.

If you aren't, your wife and most other people would be justified in walking you to the judge as a pit stop on your way to the looney-bin...

You think and talk like that and you wonder why your wife acts the way she does?

Please... There's no pink fog that thick - only people that thick.

Think this over for a bit, and see if you can't try a more useful approach to working things out with your wife.

What you're doing is not working... And, worse, your post sounds a bit like you're shopping for a new woman if this one won't, by some miracle-mind-reading process, come around to being interested in your "new" (but not so new to you) ideas.

Yeah, small wonder she's being cool about all this.

Who are you? An unusual question after 18 years...

Good luck working this out.

It can be done. But, YOU have to DO it.

[suchacutie]

There have been many discussions about the issue of support from SOs. If I may summarize, the two issues are 1) trust, and 2) personal position vis a vis crossdressing.

The trust issue seems to be the big one. Since she knew nothing of your crossdressing desires until well into your relationship, she may have trust issues that you don't know exist (or at least you didn't mention them).

Getting the conversation going is the only way to "solve" this, and that, unfortunately, is individual. However, you will certainly get idea from the various threads stored here on this site.

"His" wife is my terrific girlfriend. She is fantastically supportive by being helpful and even critical when I'm not quite up to my feminine best! She really is teaching me what it's like to grow up a girl and I love her for it.

all my hopes for you and yours!

Tina

[Laura Evans]

Mine does but only she knows the reasons why, it is not from what I do or do not do.

[SusanMarie]

My SO...:)

[Gisele]

I've got one too. She is sitting here next to me saying "Yes, we are out there"!:)

[Terri Andrews]

I have had one of each .
The first ,who knew from day one ,would not talk about it and did not want it in our lives .
The present ,who also knew when we were dating,is very supportive and accepting .
It takes compromise from both of us to make it work but
we both think it adds a lot to our marriage .

[martha mars]

and yes i do know when my wife like me to dress she well lay every thiing out for me that she would like me to wear

[alexis GG]

Hi Tanya and welcome... Yes accepting GG's (wives, g/f,s, SO's etc) do exist... I am one to my wonderfull partner az_azeel... We have been together for 5 and a half years now and he told me just before we started dating. It was weird at first but after much research and plenty of talking and loads of question I fully support him with his cd'ing :D

[Angelofsomekind]

I have one as well, she likes when I dress.

As for where your going wrong, I don't know what your doing, but everyone is different, everyone will deal with this in different ways.

[Olivia]

Yes.
O

[KayC]

In answer to your question, yes there are GGs that approve of cross dressing. How many did right off the bat? Probably not a lot. When someone leads you to believe they are one way and then you find out on down the road that they are different than they presented themselves to be, particularly if you find out after entering into a LTR, then you feel deceived. That is why, on this site, it is greatly encouraged that CDers be up front to begin with.
When a GG first finds out that her partner is a CDer, it affects her in many ways. She may question her own femininity, wonder where she fits in to the partnership, worry about what it'll lead to, if you're going to leave her, and so much more. It's important that you be ready to answer her questions and reassure her...in so doing you can also direct her to this site where, upon reaching her ten posts, she can apply to the FAB section where there are other GGs who have been through it and can help answer her questions and help her not to feel so isolated. There is so much more involved than meets the eye...you are asking her to share in your secret/lie, and that wasn't something she bargained on. You are asking her to deal with a lot of things she never wanted to deal with. To top it off, she has to deal with your dishonesty to her, and it takes time for you to rebuild her trust.
There are some GGs that have fun with this and say they feel this has brought them closer together...I doubt most of them felt that way at first, but education is the key to adjustment and it helps to learn what this is all about...not only to the CDer, but to his SO.

[Kaitlin the cd]

On of my woman friends told me today that she loves it when guys wear womens clothes. In fact shes going to crossdress her boyfriend in a couple of days for fun.

[goofus]

On of my woman friends told me today that she loves it when guys wear womens clothes. In fact shes going to crossdress her boyfriend in a couple of days for fun.

Sure, for fun...but he'd better not enjoy it!!:naughty

[Raya]

Yes. In fact, many women have told me they found me more attractive for it. My SO is one of them. :battingeyelashes:

[Kate Simmons]

There are those who tolerate it as evidenced here but most hererosexual women want a man, plain and simple.:)

[Barbara918]

Sad part, in my experience, is that most GGs who approve of a man who CDs already have one. Are there any GGs out there who are actively looking for a CD?

[Kaitlin the cd]

Sure, for fun...but he'd better not enjoy it!!:naughty

Knowing this guy he will enjoy it.

[JulieC]

As others have noted, there's plenty of women out there who approve of crossdressing, even in their spouses. My wife does too. Am I "lucky"?

I don't see it that way. I think you make your own luck. I'd been through enough relationships with women who were supportive and women who were not supportive of my crossdressing to know that I did NOT want to have a wife that was not supportive. So, I told her long before we were engaged, doing so a few months after we started dating. It went well. It's not always been peaches and cream. There's been some bumps in the road. But, she's an absolutely wonderful woman, and she is 100% supportive of my crossdressing.

Had I not said anything to her before we got married, I'd have no idea whether she'd be supportive or not. In that sense, it would have been luck of the draw. But I didn't play to lady luck's desires. I told myself I'd break up with my then girlfriend if she didn't accept crossdressing, and go find another person to date, and keep repeating that cycle until I found someone that was supportive.


Any idea where I am going wrong?:

Yes. You're not going to be able to convert her into being supportive. You've tried to cross the bridge, but she's not accepting the overtures. Drop it. She's already effectively told you where she stands on the issue, and doesn't want to contend with a crossdressing husband.

You're in a rough situation. You will continue to crossdress, but your wife won't approve. I wish it were different for you.

[Katie Layne]

My wife has known since the day after our engagment. I hadn't really thought of it as an issue, but realized she needed to know exactly what she was agreeing to marry. She said it was "odd", but she didn't see it as a problem. For the next year or so befor the actual wedding day, she would help me shop, dress, apply makeup, and even ventured out with me on a couple occasions.
About a year into our marriage, and just prior to the birth of our son, (probably a connection here) she started feeling and speaking quite negatively about it. We discussed the issue in grave detail and came to the concluson that the child should be kept from such confusion of sex roles. He could learn later on at a more appropriate time, and I've been prepared to explain and help him understand since I came to terms with my cding years ago.
It's been three more years now and I haven't been able to touch my wife in seven months. She even stated last night that she bought it was just a fad I would 'grow out of'.
She left the relationship emotionally and physically (touch wise) with the passing of her father, which occured only months after our son was born. Her acceptance of cding also left the building. There is no more tolerance, just an embarassed and ashamed look on her face when she asks "did you go out dressed up while I was out of town"? I'm always honest and we have discussed more. I will not subject her to seeing me dressed and she understands that cding is a part of me, which isn't going to change - at least that was the understanding until last night.
So I do and do not have one... She accepts it, yes that is true. But to what level and at what sacrafice? I am still a man and have physical and emotional needs (more so than most from what I read in this site about my fellow cders). So now I have the question - "do I leave my wife in hopes of finding more and subject my child to a broken family, ignore my cd urges even if it means insanity for the HOPE that my wifes appeal for me will return, or just continue down the same old road of talking myself into a dead end?"
we have discussed therapy, of which my wife is an advocate for to anyone except when it comes to herself and 'sexual' issues... or her fathers passing - becuase she thinks there's a sexual connection (sexual does not = sex btw).
This is not a game, there is no winning answer, just a question that I will have to answer on my own.
For any single cd out there I would recommend one thing - be open from day one and ensure her stance is true and that she understands this is not going to change - it is not fad - yillsill not simply put your cloths away one day - though you may occasioly burn them as the self destructive cder you can be :)

[mklinden2010]

KL,

You're simply in over your head with everything.

Go to counseling yourself. That, at least, has her approval and if you're lucky you may pick up some information and develop some skills at dealing with these and other life problems.

If you go and don't get satisfaction with a better life situation, try another therapist, read another book, ask another friend, see another movie, etc.

As noted previously, we do make our own luck in life and it's usually, "the harder I work the luckier I get" luck.

There's no connection between CDing, being gay, being straight, and how kids turn out. If there were, few us would be anything but what our parents were. Kids turn out the way they turn out mostly because they were kept free of physically dangerous things and situations long enough to chose their way in life.

Parents don't form children so much as keep the form safe until it (they) produces a thinking, self-supporting, person. Most good people don't want perfect kids, just healthy and happy kids.

Your wife's situation, moving from single gal, to married woman, to mother is not an easy path under any circumstances. There are always tears, doubts, stress. As you wish she'd love you through your issues, you will just have to try loving her through hers.

Love is patient, kind, etc. If it is love... If it's just timing, convenience, "liking..." Well, that's OK too, but don't wear dress shoes to a ditch digging contest. Fit right things with right things and do better in life.

I hope you and your wife work out something happier. CDing is just something you do, not the totality of who you are. Very often, if you demonstrate other "good" qualities - in this case perhaps study ways to ease her stress and worries - it will be easier for her to encourage/support/laugh about your CDing... Which at this point may seem to have no positive value to her.

Sometimes, I think my SO humors me in my personal interests because she realizes, in part, "Well, that's just the way HE is... And he's quite wonderful."

Works for me. But, I've been working at it for a while too.

Good luck and good living.

[KandisTX]

My wife, mother, roommate, most of my GG friends, and my baby sister are all supportive of my crossdressing. Most of them buy me femme clothing items or other femme things for me.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[KayC]

Both giving birth and losing someone close to you can affect one to the extent they could benefit from some counseling. I'd start with a trip to the doctor to check it out and continue on to a counselor for grief counseling. There's also grief support groups she could attend. Marriage counseling with someone trained in TG issues could also be beneficial.

I'm sorry this is your experience...you tried to be honest and in your case, it was her that was dishonest...she led you to believe she was supportive when in fact she was not...she was secretly hoping it'd go away. You deserved better than that.

Have you tried getting her on line here, it'd be great if she could meet other GGs here, it might be of help to her acceptance.

[tanyacross]

Thank you for all feedback.

It appears clear that I committed the mistake of wiating so many years before "outing myself". I have learned that life is really no dress rehearsal (no pun intended) and I have no intention of going back in the cupboard. I really do like myself as a girl and feel totally comfortable as a woman. I am neither ashamed or embarrased of my desire to dress and present myself as a woman. In fact when purchasing clothes shoes or make up I take delight in leaving the sales assistent in no doubt that all the purchases are for me. Perhaps in the past I had a fear of being outed in public, at the moment I think my wife has a greater fear than I do. Ideally I would like to tell everyone and make a clean break.

On another point does anyone think it is easier or harder for a CDer who looks more femine and dare I say convincing when dressed than one who does not. I always thought that if I looked good when dressed it would be easier for her to accept. Strangely enough once a very long time ago we were taking about something we read and I asked my wife if she would not like to dress me up as a woman. She said no but to my surprise said that if I had a heavier build and a few more muscles it might be fun. Could this be what one other reader mentioned about competition or simply that a CD who looks fairly convincing when dressed is simply off putting to a GG.

Love
Tanya

[bumblebee]

The younger the more likely to be "approving" whatever that means.

I, personally, wouldn't date someone who had a rigid view of gender. But, then again, I don't hide who I am either.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Tanya as life goes on there are certain things that you find were not a good idea to bring up to your wife, been there done that, same boat as you. But if she still gives you lip service about it, next time there is a thunderstorm, give her a golf clup and tell her to go outside and practice her swing.

My advice, do what you want on your own time, be on your best behavior around others.


People usually take their cues from the person they're nearest to... Your problem might just be you, not her

maryklinden please don't sugar coat, it tell us how you really feel

[mollytyler]

Mother, sister, cousins Aunts (and 1 uncle).....but then there are some relatives who just did not get the issue.......plenty of women during my college years and last many years at work....they are there...it is just the manner that you approach the subject......

[sissystephanie]

Thank you for all feedback.

It appears clear that I committed the mistake of wiating so many years before "outing myself". I have learned that life is really no dress rehearsal (no pun intended) and I have no intention of going back in the cupboard. I really do like myself as a girl and feel totally comfortable as a woman. I am neither ashamed or embarrased of my desire to dress and present myself as a woman. In fact when purchasing clothes shoes or make up I take delight in leaving the sales assistent in no doubt that all the purchases are for me. Perhaps in the past I had a fear of being outed in public, at the moment I think my wife has a greater fear than I do. Ideally I would like to tell everyone and make a clean break.

On another point does anyone think it is easier or harder for a CDer who looks more femine and dare I say convincing when dressed than one who does not. I always thought that if I looked good when dressed it would be easier for her to accept. Strangely enough once a very long time ago we were taking about something we read and I asked my wife if she would not like to dress me up as a woman. She said no but to my surprise said that if I had a heavier build and a few more muscles it might be fun. Could this be what one other reader mentioned about competition or simply that a CD who looks fairly convincing when dressed is simply off putting to a GG.

Love, Tanya

Tanya, you are very correct that you made a HUGE mistake not telling your wife about your CD activites 18 years ago! That means you have been living a lie all that time, and now you want your wife to just forgive and forget? You said that you like yourself as a girl and feel very comfortable as a woman. Do you want to be a woman? If that is the image you present to your wife, no wonder she acts the way she does. Her statement about you having a heavier build and a few more muscles before she dressed you seems to indicate she wants you to be the MAN she married. After all, she did marry a man, not a woman!

I had a very happy 49+ year marriage to my late wife, and she was totally active and supportive of my CD'ing. I told her when I proposed to her, and her major comment was, "will you always be my man, no matter what you are wearing?" Of course I told her yes, and made sure that she always knew I was her man! Of course, I may be different than you, Tanya! I love to wear feminine clothing of all types, but have absolutely no desire whatsoever to become a woman!! Since my wife is no longer here to do my makeup and fix my wig, I just go out dressed totally enfemme, as I am right now, but looking exactly like the guy that I am! My Tag line say it all for me!! Maybe that is what your wife need to know!!:2c:

[Astera]

I accidentally mailed a GG friend (ex-girlfriend, really) from my femme email account. Ugh! When she asked me what was going on, I just told her. I figured if anyone would be accepting, she would. (She's always been quite wild!) She thought it was awesome. I'm not exaggerating. She wished I had told her when we were dating, it would have been so much fun going out as girls and wearing lingerie together. Sadly, we live in different parts of the country now, so we can't go out together, but there are women out there who not only tolerate it, but think it's cool.

[Sarah_GG]

Yes. There are loads of us out there... GGs who are in a relationship that has strong foundations built on honesty, trust and openness.

That's what most people want in a relationship really.

:)

[Sheila]

Yes. There are loads of us out there... GGs who are in a relationship that has strong foundations built on honesty, trust and openness.

That's what most people want in a relationship really.:)


I am another accepting GG .......... I met Debs on here and am marrying her in 4 days :D she has been open, & honest from the get go it makes it so much easier :)

[BRANDI66]

Well my wife had me do it at first... I did not want to.... I also have had 2 girl friends that were totally turned on by it.

[Samantha Kelsey]

Hi there,

YES there are many accepting SO's and many other people too.
I reckon that there are more 'Accepting' SO's than we realise, just have a look in the members list. However we shouldn't expect any one to be accepting of lies and deciet.

It seems to me that the Cd community just thinks that most SO's are not accepting, therefore they are afraid to tell their SO. Also from what I read on this and other Cd sites I get the feeling that it is the Cd'ers themselves who are the most unaccepting. If the Cd'er can't accept this, how on earth can he/she expect anyone else to.

Answer these questions yourself and be honest.

1. do you really believe that what YOU are doing is acceptable?
2. Have you at least told your SO about yourself?

If you answered No to any of these then how can you expect the SO or anyone else to accept you.

This is not aimed at any individual, just a collection of thoughts.

.

[MyLoveMillie]

I think that honesty is the key, like I said on another post they will either accept you or they wont.. but you are pro longing the end result... Millie (kaylee3012) told me 4-5 months into our relationship.. That was the hardest thing to get my head around until she had told me she would have told me from day one if she had accepted it herself... She now does and we have so much fun with it and I love her more for trusting me with something so precious to her.. The change is amazing and I wouldn't change her for the world nor would i want her to change for the world :)

Hannah xx (GG)

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Tany, Well let me put it this way for me . We both wear size 16 cloths,10 1/2 shoes , have the same style and color hair use one anothers make up and jewlery . we go out as girl friends , been to P town 4 times for a wk Key West 2 times. I told her right off the bat and she loved it. That is my Melissa, I'd like to say she is one of a kind but she is not. Before her I told any women I met, when things started to look as if we might get serious . I would like to say get her on here to see how many of women don't mind. Good luck Josephine

[loardata]

my wife doesnt approve of ANYTHING that i do so why should it be any different for crossdressing?:sad:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Yes, there are a "few" - I think you probably have heard from all of them so

far on this post - the girls that have approving GGs are so fortunate.

However, approving GGs for the rest of us are "few and far between", I'm

afraid.

I hope I get bombarded on this, but that has been my

experience - I think a lot of GGs don't mind, so long as it is not their husband.


JoAnne Wheeler

[CherylFlint]

maryklinden said it best.

[melissacd]

In my own personal experience there are some women who head for the hills when you tell them, there many women who are okay with it so long as you are in a romantic relationship with them, there are those special few who can look past all the cultural trappings and see outside the box. They appreciate the person for who they are not what they wear.

More importantly, as stated by others here you must first be okay with it within yourself before you can expect anyone around you to feel okay with it too.

While Maryklinden made her statements in a very terse in your face way (and yes she did say it best - the truth hurts) I must applaud her for how she laid things out. If you cut away all the crap, do not care what others think and just be yourself - that is the pathway to happiness. When we have been in a relationship for a long time and then dump something like this on a partner it is not surprising that they react as they do. It takes a very special person and a very special relationship to weather this sort of thing.

I have many bumps and bruises from past relationships that have shown me that the best way is to be open and honest about this from the beginning, but also not to modify who you are for another person because that always leads to unhappiness and troubles. If someone does not accept who you are, all of who you are, then move on. Life is too short not to be yourself.

To thine own self be true...

Melissa

[tanyacross]

Everybody keeps saying they you should tell your partner at the very beginning of a relationship. In an ideal world this is hard to argue against, however sometimes if you tell someone too soon you risk the rejection of somebody who might otherwise have been prepared to try to understand you if they had a deeper and more emotional committment & knew the whole person.

Don`t we all find out new things about our partners over the years i.e their likes and dislikes etc. My wife told me she was bi-curious at least 10 years after we were married. It made no difference to me but another person would say that was "deceit and dishonesty".

[sometimes_miss]

I think a lot of GGs don't mind, so long as it is not their husband.
That's pretty much what it amounts to. Women are generally sexually attracted to masculine traits, behavior and appearances. Those who are attracted to feminine things, well, they want a female. We fall between the cracks. I've heard that the best chances for us are hanging out in gay bars, because that's where you will find more open minded straight women, usually hanging out with a gay male friend. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to mean that she's attracted to crossdressers, it just means that she isn't bothered by us. And the search continues........

[audreyinalbany]

GG's correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that it is generally for women to accept crossdressing in a male with whom they are not in an intimate relationship. I think in a casual acquaintance it can be kind of 'cute' or 'endearing,' but in an intimate partner it becomes somewhat of a threat to the relationship, what might be thought of as a 'violation' of their mental image of the man they married...

[Miranda09]

I'm sure they ARE out there...problem is, they're all taken!!!

[donnatracey]

So true, Miranda! Demand def exceeds supply.....:sad:

[skirtsuit]

I was told by one of the very nice women at the local Goodwill that what turns women off is super obvious, over-the-top CDs, and that most women will respond positively to a guy that tries to look good and blend in.

All the Best,
Ann / SS

[MyLoveMillie]

Yes, there are a "few" - I think you probably have heard from all of them so

far on this post - the girls that have approving GGs are so fortunate.

However, approving GGs for the rest of us are "few and far between", I'm

afraid.

I hope I get bombarded on this, but that has been my

experience - I think a lot of GGs don't mind, so long as it is not their husband.


JoAnne Wheeler

i would like to just say i think you are right on the "a lot don't mind as long as its not there hubby My SO has friends that think its great.. but i know for a fact if it was their partner they wouldn't be so accepting...

[Carol A]

My wife of 45 years knew going into our marriage as my mother broke the ice and show her pictures of her daughter which was me.
The only reaction was a huge smile and an oh my God she is beautiful.

To this day I still dress everyday and she stills helps me along with fashion and will tell me if my hair isn't right. Yes there are GG who love us as us not how we dress. :love:

[Sandra]

Yes. There are loads of us out there... GGs who are in a relationship that has strong foundations built on honesty, trust and openness.

That's what most people want in a relationship really.

:)

yeah what she said :)

Add me to the list....been married to my partner Nigella for 22 years.

People come here and moan that they don't have an accepting SO. You keep it all a secret and then spill the beans, and expect the SO to be all ok with it. You've probably had years of this and the you expect her to be all supporting and jump through hoops the day you tell her.

It's hard but tell your SOs sooner rather than later.

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Tanya, After reading a lot of the other response's I feel that you did not go wrong, I my self would love to be a size 8 or 10. I am a 14/16 depending on the maker of the cloths. My GG is the same plus we both wear the same size shoes 10 1/2 . You said that she would like you to be larger that is interesting to me, as my GG love 's that we are the same size. Is your wife the same size as you. My GG also feels after she had met me that she has her own male side. This has made for some very interesting love making. If you were in Flordia I would love to get together with you and your wife as I think my GG would be able to show her the plus <no pun > side.of our female . JO :daydreaming:

[tanyacross]

Hi Josephene,
Thanks for the post. I would certainly love to take up the offer. Am also certain that my GG wife could have lots of fun with it.

Love
Tanyahttp://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/smilies/Love.gif

[samantha48328]

My wife, her two sisters, three of her girl friends, and a few male friends enjoy me as Samantha or then my male side. :) :o :battingeyelashes:

[BRANDI66]

hey there, not only are there ladies out there that approve but a lot get totally turned on by it.. my ex-wife got me started and i have dated 3 other girls that loved it as well as several girls i hooked up with on line.... its just like anything..... some dig it some flat dont.... good luck :)

[busker]

Brandi 66, I don't mean to spoil your fun, but what you are saying is not quite what the others are saying. It also sounds as though you have become a CDer not out of some urge of your own (biological/nurture/whatever ) but as someone else's fetish wish. Your EX-WIFE started you---hummm? and several others enjoy your cd activities. That is not quite support for another side of you is it? True that they are GGs but the joke seems to be on you. There are neither SOs or a wife among them now. Be careful, you may just be a cd boy toy for ladies who have their own fetish.
I could be all wet, but your description is pretty clear here.
Mandrake out of water

[AmberLynn]

I want to add my :2c:

Yes there are gg's that approve of cding "given time to process there hubby/so and so on is a cd"

Im married to one :love: she was shocked when i told her but has come to except it very well. she love's Amber and my male side equally. sadly these gg's are far and few inbetween and when a good girl like that come's along there generally held for a very long time time.


There are some gg's that will want to cd you for fantasy fetish resons and that's ok with me if the person being cd is ok with it,but in my oppion thats not true cding.

[EveMarie]

Accept? yes I know of several (and I'm not counting all my lesbian friends, some of which I spend time "out and about" with. Besides what can they do about it?

Approve? that in my mind is a whole can of worms I'm not sure I want to explore. I think true opinions from GG's are like finding raw diamonds in your backyard, ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.
:straightface:




disclaimer: opinions expressed by this person are hers and hers alone, and in no way reflect the general opinions of any other damn person in this forum!

[KayC]

[QUOTE=EveMarie;1943706]Accept?I think true opinions from GG's are like finding raw diamonds in your backyard, ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.

Wow, you really do us a disservice! True opinions...ain't gonna happen out of us GG's? I happen to be very honest. Thank God you don't speak for everyone!

[Loni]

The hard part is trying to find the "right" time to let a girl friend know, to soon and poof gone, to late and poof gone.

Deffernt ways each time, till you find the right one it will be lonely,
but when you find one, treat her like the Quean she is.

Now if I can just find mine.

.

[joanne anderson]

YES Tanyacross, there are many many women out there that are accepting of their husbands dressing and support them.
Like you it was the stress of keeping my secret from my wife of 38years and although I had only been dressing over the past six years, I had to make that move in revealing my dark secret.
Fortunately my wife has accepted my dressing and after a long talk mixed with tears from both sides and Joanne is now part of our every day life.
Maybe in time, I hope things change for you.

Love Joanne

[sometimes_miss]

[QUOTE=EveMarie;1943706]Accept?I think true opinions from GG's are like finding raw diamonds in your backyard, ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.

Wow, you really do us a disservice! True opinions...ain't gonna happen out of us GG's? I happen to be very honest. Thank God you don't speak for everyone!

I think what he might have been referring to is that many women will say one thing, and do something else entirely different; and this happens with astounding frequency. You may believe with all your heart what you are saying is true, and may wish with all your heart for it to be so, but deep down inside it's not, or at least, it's far from complete. Best example of this is the old 'sensitive man' myth. Ask any woman what she wants, and this will come up. Then she will date the most macho creeps on the planet, who will treat her like dirt, dump her, and she will then go out with more of the same. All the while telling you how much she hates them. Riiiiight.
Then you have all the women who tell 'white lies' in order to avoid 'hurting someone's feelings'. In reality, it's just to avoid a confrontation.
In the end, I've found that it's much easier to interpret GG's desires and feelings by how you behave, rather than what you say.

[Engendered]

The hard part is trying to find the "right" time to let a girl friend know, to soon and poof gone, to late and poof gone.

.

I think the right time is always before she becomes a girlfriend. All girls I've been with have known who I am before deciding to date me, so I've not had any of the more common problems posted on this board with acceptance/tolerance.

Are there girls out there who don't consider me an option now, but would if I kept this from them, and then gradually let them know when we were in a relationship. Sure there are! But this is a very risky game to play.

[AlisonRenee]

kinda related, I ran across this cartoon and thought I'd share.

http://www.offthemarkcartoons.com/cartoons/1998-10-19.gif

[Shannah]

My G/F is not only accepting, is was her idea, well kind of. She didn't know I was a cd'er and she told me that it would turn her on if I wore some silk panties. I went along with it, o.k. twist my arm. Then I gradually came out to her. Now she shops for my lingerie and even bought me some breast forms.

[Toni_Lynn]

Yep -- count my wife in that column. She nurtures my crossdressing and encourages it. She knows that the girl within is a part of the whole, and I say this in all humility for they are her words, wonderful and good package that is me!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Sheila]

Accept
Approve? that in my mind is a whole can of worms I'm not sure I want to explore. I think true opinions from GG's are like finding raw diamonds in your backyard, ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.
:straightface:


Wow ............ so marrying Debs 3 weeks ago today was a lie

disclaimer: opinions expressed by this person are hers and hers alone, and in no way reflect the general opinions of any other damn person in this forum!

and that disclaimer does not work ... like Kayc I am another GG who is offended and my sis will be as well ............. she supports both Debs and myself as well as other members here, in fact she recently spent several days in the company of two of the non GG members here and thoroughly enjoyed herself, mind she has met both before on several occasions

[O2B Barbara]

My wife not only accepts but also helps. I guess she is not interested in Barb being poorly dressed & made up. Besides she likes to borrow my things as well!

[docrobbysherry]

Of course, I ALSO believe in Santa Claus, unicorns, and the tooth fairy!:eek:

Altho, I've NEVER met any of the above, in my 60+ years, as yet!:brolleyes:

[KayC]

"I think what he might have been referring to is that many women will say one thing, and do something else entirely different; and this happens with astounding frequency. You may believe with all your heart what you are saying is true, and may wish with all your heart for it to be so, but deep down inside it's not, or at least, it's far from complete. Best example of this is the old 'sensitive man' myth. Ask any woman what she wants, and this will come up. Then she will date the most macho creeps on the planet, who will treat her like dirt, dump her, and she will then go out with more of the same. All the while telling you how much she hates them. Riiiiight.
Then you have all the women who tell 'white lies' in orderto avoid 'hurting someone's feelings'. In reality, it's just to avoid a confrontation.
In the end, I've found that it's much easier to interpret GG's desires and feelings by how you behave, rather than what you say" end of quote

How come a man needs another man to say "what they mean" instead of us being able to take them at "what they say"?! Men shouldn't need interpreted, why can't they just learn to communicate what they MEAN?! I think an apology is in order to GGs...just my opinion!

[BRANDI66]

hi busker, you wont spoil my fun at all.. you are almost 100% correct.. i totally like the "boi toy" thing but also like the way it feels.. otherwise i would not be sitting here answering your post fully dressed.. :) and in my first post here where you introduce yourself i stated that i may not belong here :)

[girlalex]

Cross dressing is part of who you are and if your wife truly loves you she should appropriate you for who you are. Plain and simple because love is not about gender or oriantation, its about chemistry.

[Sandra]

Cross dressing is part of who you are and if your wife truly loves you she should appropriate you for who you are. .

The same can be said for the cder....if he truely loved the partner then he would tell her before things got to serious and not 10,15 years down the line.

[Melinda G]

Acceptance depends on where you are coming from. Most women accept crossdressers, as long as it's not their husband or boyfriend. My old girlfriend had a gay hairdresser whom she thought was just so cute. But she wasn't sleeping with him or married to him. Most of us are accepting of lesbians, but wouldn't want to be dating, or married to one.

[Sherlyn]

Are there really an genetic woman out there who approve of cross dressing ?
I have one :D who actually gets upset if we shop and I don't find anything..she gets a big sad face ...lol..sometimes she will even want to go to the next town over to look...FUN THO EH !!!!!..but then again Di met Sher me first... the boy me a few days later ...very cool

[DaphneATX]

well i was married to a girl who let me wear her stockings and heels and it grew from that to lingerie but never got to makeup, wig, shaved legs and the whole nine yards.. it stopped before it ever got that far.. im sure it creeped her out which has been emotional to me and obviously pushed a very big part of me aside.. we have recently divorced for several mutual reasons... anyway i have since then met a girl who is very turned on by it for 2 reasons..
a.she finds it sexy
b. it turns me and she is turned on by that

one thing i can say about it is that she is bisexual so maybe her fondness of girls leads to her being fond me enfemme, she is the only one who will let me talk openly about it and is very supportive of it.. i have yet to get a wig and do makeup but she is going to help me out with that stuff so im pretty excited

[willowgurl]

Hi, I have no problem at all being accepted by the GGs in my life. Many of them have only ever known me as Willow. My problem is different. I am gay which I know is somewhat unusual here, and you would not believe how many gay men simply detest girls like me.