Pauline Lauren
10-15-2009, 10:50 PM
Hi everyone,
I know it has been a little while since I posted...lack of time and things to talk about I guess. But then recently, things have changed a lot for me over the course of a three week period. Thanks in large part to the heroic efforts of some of the ladies in my support group, the River City Gems, Pauline is no longer closeted in the back room of her apartment, wishing she was on the other side of that intimidating front door. And I guess I just need to tell everone, how wonderful it feels. I know those that have gone before me have said this, but for those of you that have never been out, you really should try to make your way down that difficult path to finally passing over that threshhold. I can tell you, there is really no experience like it....
I had recently received a big assist from one of my sisters in my support group family who was thinning her wardrobe out and her SO who helped me find a wonderful wig that just fit me so well. So now Pauline actually had a wardrobe to go out in!
As it turns out, the September social for the Gems was coming up, and with some well timed nudging from one of my dearest friends and mentor throughout much of my journey, decided that would be my night to finally come out. I was fortunate to receive a lovely makeover from the GF of the sister I rode with, and thankfully she drove because I was pretty nervous. Once I got to the hotel the Social was at, I got dressed in the designated changing room and walked out into the world, outside for the first time totally en femme. I was nervous, very, for a few minutes, but before long I was over that and really having just one of the best times of my life!! Of course everyone there was so friendly and supportive, such a positive, reinforcing experience for my first night out as Pauline. I couldn't have asked for better, and really didn't want it to end, but of course it did.
My night out, however, did reveal some GLARING deficienies in my wardrobe that I had not had a chance to take care of. I had to borrow a purse for the social. I wanted to get some fancier shoes for the annual formal in Sacramento that some of you no doubt attended or heard of called Sparkle! So I needed to shop, but as I have described on this forum before, that has been a bit of a hurdle for me too!
Again my lovely Gems sisters came to the rescue. The following Sunday, after an application of a wonderful air brush daytime style makeover from on of my fellow member's wives, Pauline was off to the mall en femme to shop with her friend. Again some nerves at first, I mean, this was the real public now not the protected environs of our Social. But again after a few moments, it dawned on me that few people were even noticing me and those that did, might give a a bit of a funny look then just went on thier way. I thought "ok so a couple of you may have clocked me, so what" and just went about my business. And strangely after stopped worrying about it, I stopped noticing any looks at all. And there I was, Pauline out in public shopping for purses and shoes like the rest of the girls in regular store! My friend came with me the first few stops, on the last stop I went in to the drug store on my own to pick up some new lipstick. I got a purse, three pairs of shoes and some new lip, and load more confidence about going out.
As I had mentioned, the big Sparkle event was the following weekend on October 3, and there was no way I was going to even consider missing it now! It attracted friends and member from all over the country, even some folks from other state! The Friday before Sparkle, however, a number of us decided to meet up at a local TG friendly restaurant for dinner. It sounded like fun, plus it would give me a chance to meet some of my friends and see one friend from out of town coming to Sparkle. So I went! Again had a great time being out, in the public as Pauline! My make up skills being still pretty inept, I have had great help from my friends to do this of course.
Of course the following night, Sparkle was just a fabulous thing, everyone was dressed in their most gorgeous outfits. It was a such a blast to actually BE THERE, and not just looking at pictures of the happening on the computer WISHING I had been there. If you check my profile I have posted some of the pictures I had taken of me in my outfit that night. Hopefully you can tell from the look on my face what a wonderful time I had. I would love to hear what you think!
So ladies, out four times in 3 weeks. Wow, I never thought I could have gone out into all those different situations for that first time in such a short period. But my dear friends in the Gems have supported me as much as could be humanly possible, and made it possible for me to take those steps. And for that, I owe them my undying gratitude.
For those of you that haven't taken that step yet, try, if you can, to take it. Really try. I know it's hard, it took me over 30 years and the support of so many friends to make it myself. But it really is worth it. There really is no feeling I can describe like it. You really don't want to miss out on it.....
Anyway I have taken way too much space in what will probably be seen as a typical "OMG I finally went out story", but it is mine and somehow, I just felt like I needed to share it. I hope I didn't go on too long. But it was the support from my Gems sisters and from this forum that helped me finally get there, so I just wanted to tell everyone that Pauline has finally had some moments in the real world, and she loved it!
>>>hugs<<<:hugs:
Pauline
I know it has been a little while since I posted...lack of time and things to talk about I guess. But then recently, things have changed a lot for me over the course of a three week period. Thanks in large part to the heroic efforts of some of the ladies in my support group, the River City Gems, Pauline is no longer closeted in the back room of her apartment, wishing she was on the other side of that intimidating front door. And I guess I just need to tell everone, how wonderful it feels. I know those that have gone before me have said this, but for those of you that have never been out, you really should try to make your way down that difficult path to finally passing over that threshhold. I can tell you, there is really no experience like it....
I had recently received a big assist from one of my sisters in my support group family who was thinning her wardrobe out and her SO who helped me find a wonderful wig that just fit me so well. So now Pauline actually had a wardrobe to go out in!
As it turns out, the September social for the Gems was coming up, and with some well timed nudging from one of my dearest friends and mentor throughout much of my journey, decided that would be my night to finally come out. I was fortunate to receive a lovely makeover from the GF of the sister I rode with, and thankfully she drove because I was pretty nervous. Once I got to the hotel the Social was at, I got dressed in the designated changing room and walked out into the world, outside for the first time totally en femme. I was nervous, very, for a few minutes, but before long I was over that and really having just one of the best times of my life!! Of course everyone there was so friendly and supportive, such a positive, reinforcing experience for my first night out as Pauline. I couldn't have asked for better, and really didn't want it to end, but of course it did.
My night out, however, did reveal some GLARING deficienies in my wardrobe that I had not had a chance to take care of. I had to borrow a purse for the social. I wanted to get some fancier shoes for the annual formal in Sacramento that some of you no doubt attended or heard of called Sparkle! So I needed to shop, but as I have described on this forum before, that has been a bit of a hurdle for me too!
Again my lovely Gems sisters came to the rescue. The following Sunday, after an application of a wonderful air brush daytime style makeover from on of my fellow member's wives, Pauline was off to the mall en femme to shop with her friend. Again some nerves at first, I mean, this was the real public now not the protected environs of our Social. But again after a few moments, it dawned on me that few people were even noticing me and those that did, might give a a bit of a funny look then just went on thier way. I thought "ok so a couple of you may have clocked me, so what" and just went about my business. And strangely after stopped worrying about it, I stopped noticing any looks at all. And there I was, Pauline out in public shopping for purses and shoes like the rest of the girls in regular store! My friend came with me the first few stops, on the last stop I went in to the drug store on my own to pick up some new lipstick. I got a purse, three pairs of shoes and some new lip, and load more confidence about going out.
As I had mentioned, the big Sparkle event was the following weekend on October 3, and there was no way I was going to even consider missing it now! It attracted friends and member from all over the country, even some folks from other state! The Friday before Sparkle, however, a number of us decided to meet up at a local TG friendly restaurant for dinner. It sounded like fun, plus it would give me a chance to meet some of my friends and see one friend from out of town coming to Sparkle. So I went! Again had a great time being out, in the public as Pauline! My make up skills being still pretty inept, I have had great help from my friends to do this of course.
Of course the following night, Sparkle was just a fabulous thing, everyone was dressed in their most gorgeous outfits. It was a such a blast to actually BE THERE, and not just looking at pictures of the happening on the computer WISHING I had been there. If you check my profile I have posted some of the pictures I had taken of me in my outfit that night. Hopefully you can tell from the look on my face what a wonderful time I had. I would love to hear what you think!
So ladies, out four times in 3 weeks. Wow, I never thought I could have gone out into all those different situations for that first time in such a short period. But my dear friends in the Gems have supported me as much as could be humanly possible, and made it possible for me to take those steps. And for that, I owe them my undying gratitude.
For those of you that haven't taken that step yet, try, if you can, to take it. Really try. I know it's hard, it took me over 30 years and the support of so many friends to make it myself. But it really is worth it. There really is no feeling I can describe like it. You really don't want to miss out on it.....
Anyway I have taken way too much space in what will probably be seen as a typical "OMG I finally went out story", but it is mine and somehow, I just felt like I needed to share it. I hope I didn't go on too long. But it was the support from my Gems sisters and from this forum that helped me finally get there, so I just wanted to tell everyone that Pauline has finally had some moments in the real world, and she loved it!
>>>hugs<<<:hugs:
Pauline