I actually told someone I know in real life.

[Vanysh]

I'm shaking right now and don't know what to do. We talked over webcam....I'm really embarrassed. What do I do?

[aggi123]

You should try to remain calm and maintain confidence in your stance.

[Vanysh]

I'm just so ashamed of myself. She took it good though. She is a great friend. But I'm still indifferent. I don't think I really wanted to tell her more than I wanted to just say it and there be someone around. If that makes any sense.

I'm afraid that she will completely see me different now. And she won't feel the same about our friendship. I'm scared I might have ruined a great friendship. I don't know what to think, to be honest.

[aggi123]

oh don't be ashamed! Self acceptance is one of the most important traits anyone can ever have. Once you can do that, everything just magically seems to get easier (though not always for the better). But, I'll be honest with you. There isn't a soul that knows about my strange and exciting hobby. But I'm hoping to have that change in about 20 pounds, lol.

[Jessica Who]

I can certainly relate. Almost every time I come out, I feel an intense amount of shame afterwards. It will go away. The best thing you can do is be a good friend and remain strong and confident. Be proud sis!

And congratulations on telling someone, quite a big step :love:

[Angie G]

If this person is cool with it then all is good Hun. Take a deep breath and relax girl.:hugs:
Angie

[Kate Simmons]

I'm wondering what you are ashamed of, having these feelings and telling someone? To a true friend it would make no difference.:)

[mklinden2010]

Be careful not to confuse shame with "Teller's remorse."

You took a chance and told someone, yet their reaction wasn't amazingly encouraging, supportive, and helpful - and you have to wonder if it was worth the effort after all... That's remorse: "Maybe I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't worth it."

Shame is doing something and realizing later it was an awful, destructive thing to do to yourself and/or someone else. You did nothing to her except be honest about yourself and no real harm has come to her or yourself. And, there could be an upside you're not seeing yet such as it's a good thing to be honest to yourself and others when you can.

The main point is, in spite of your second-guessing yourself, it was, in coming out and being honest terms, an OK thing to do for you, her, and the relationship between you two.

Yes, the relationship will change, but relationships change anyway.

Often for the better.

Stay positive.

[DonnaT]

Don't be ashamed.

She just might appreciate your honesty and bravery.

[Chloe Renee]

The first person is always the hardest to tell. Don't be ashamed of it , life is too short to lurk in the shadows.
Will the friendship be ruined? Only if it really wasn't there to begin with. I have lost a few people in my life due to this but they weren't friends to begin with. My friends stayed the course and supported me.

It is hard tearing down walls that we build up around ourselves. Once the walls fall the world becomes a scary place, for a while before all returns to normal.
Don't worry keep your chin up you will be fine.
Much love
V Fields

[joandher]

I was once in a situation where I told my family and friends ,nothing to do with c/ding ,it was quite serious subject,my elder sister walked out my children ,wife and the rest of the family,including mother, all stood by me, and all but a handful of true friends disappeared it was a lesson that now I'm glad I did, as it shows me who I can rely on

so what you have done will tell you if that friend is a true friend who you can rely on
:hugs:

J-JAY

[Lorileah]

Say it loud and say it proud. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Friends remain friends. You know the old saying Friends help you move, true friends help you move the body.

[Miranda09]

Vanysh, don't be ashamed. If she's as good a friend as you say she is, no problems. Give her the benefit of the doubt. I've come out to just one person, a very good GG friend of mine. It was a bit tough, but she took it really well, and has been very supportive. She doesn't look at me any differently than she did before, and has already helped with my makeup skills. So don't fret. It'll turn out just fine. :)

[Vanysh]

I just wanted to add that I woke up this morning and felt like complete shit for telling her. I felt awkward even though she wasn't nearby. AT that point I wished I could have gone back and not told her...

She is a GG, but she isn't feminine. She doesn't carry a purse or wear make up. So I know I'm not going to get dress tips from her...She doesn't wear girly clothes like skirts or heels. Lol. Ironically I've probably worn more girly stuff than she has.

I talked to her about it for a while last night, even after I made this thread. And she actually understands completely. But I still feel...dirty. I don't know why.

[trannie T]

Take a deep breath and relax. You outed yourself to a friend. You are going to be OK. You have nothing to feel ashamed of.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

I was talking with my 18th person at work about my being transsexual and transitioning on the job.. My co-worker Gordon stated to me that I seem to be very comfortable and happy, while talking to him. People can sense your level of acceptance with yourself, if your ashamed of it they will pick up on that and treat you accordingly. You need to be confident and comfortable with yourself, otherwise others will treat you accordingly and you will feel like dirt etc..

You need to know that being either a crossdresser or being a transsexual, there is nothing wrong with you, be yourself, accept yourself. And most importantly no matter what others say, God loves you. Kimberly Marie Kelly :battingeyelashes:

[Sally2005]

Do you feel shameful because of the way they responded or because you feel like you are hiding a secret? The problem with telling someone something when you don't respect yourself is that they can pick up on the feeling and turn it against you... get over it. Be proud of who you are...pick up some positive language to use when talking to her...instead of deep dark secret etc... say 'my cool hobby most people can't relate to'. And convince yourself that you are doing nothing wrong...which you aren't. The way I look at it, it is something I don't fully understand about myself and I'm experimenting a bit... it doesn't change who I am or make me a bad person.