I am just gonna go ahead and say this:

[lemonlover]

Let me start by saying i am new to this forum, and i have being LOVING it. You people are so nice with each other, and i feel very comfortable.
There's only one thing. I don't know if it's wrong or... well i don't know what to say, i am pretty much confused.
I casually use clothes that society tags as effeminate or exclusive for women, but i myself don't feel identified as one. I mean, i like to use skirts and pink panties and long striped stocking, but i don't like to be called "lady" (or, well, for that matter, "boy")
Because of the same, i don't go by a female name :) Maybe it's my complete sense of gender equality.
But since i joined this lovely community, it's been ticking me off.
But, well, I want to know your opinions, and i don't want to be rude to anyone!
I am sorry if i was. :)

love ya, Lemon

[HollyStorm]

I think its fine if you don't want to go by a female name. I certainly respect the idea of total gender equality and in a perfect world we'd all be able to wear what we want when we want regardless of gender without being judged one way or another.

That being said I think most CDs, while they're still the same person, don't want to be addressed by their male name when they're trying to look like a female. My real name isn't so bad, but if it were like Fred, Ralph, Burt or Larry I'd definately select something different when en femme. :heehee:

[trannie T]

Each one of us is unique. We all have different needs and desires and methods of dressing. As long as you are happy doing what you are doing and no small animals are injured you are fine. I am an old fat guy who dresses in women's clothes, who am I to judge?

[docrobbysherry]

Change your mind, change your identity, change your name, change your clothes!:eek:

It's what we DO HERE!:heehee:

[Sarah Doepner]

Lemon, I'm not offended with you being called whatever you want. I was driving down the highway once, going to Las Vegas for a couple of days of dressing and the voices in my head told me to take the name Sarah. I always listen to the voices in my head and I'm just glad they didn't tell me to take the name Myxtlpextimlly.

Honestly, since my goal is to present myself as close to female as possible, my femme name is yet another accessory that helps me feel a bit more complete when I dress. If your goal is to just enjoy the clothes, there really isn't a need for a femme name and my hat is off to you if you feel good without having to adopt one. However, if you ever do decide you need a femme name, just remember Myxtlpextimlly is already taken.

[Andy66]

Sorry we ticked you off, lady. :devil: (Joking!)

There are several guys here who are, well, guys... and that's great. No offense intended. I'll try to remember, but maybe you could put some sort of clue in your information about who you are?

[noeleena]

Hi ....You may be a bit like me as a andro . i get both my names . as a point . its no-el or noel . my birth name. oh its female as well . . & some of my friend s still & will just call me that . its still me . others its well you know . as to dress . hey its no big e . i do building work . so boots overalls & earings & a head scave. evey one know s who i am & those who dont soon do ......i dress as a woman. live as one . & have a male back ground . that s this kid
we are all different . so just be you . live as you . as to dress . we dress as we should ....
...noeleena...

[Electra]

I think I understand you. I too don't like being called lady or girl and even less as gurl. I am a man who likes dressing in skirts, nylon stockings, delicate knickers, slips, nighties etc for the sensual pleasure I find in wearing such items. I don't do make-up or wear wig except when visiting dressing services for a full make-over and on such occasiosn I don't mind being called 'madam'.

[karen68]

No there is nothing wrong with that you are who you are if you like to dress then thats great there are many of us on here that do not regard ourselves as female but as boys and some that regard themselves as neither who just love to dress in fem clothes:hugs:

[Angie G]

Hi Lemon how are you Hun. I personally like being a girl as much as i can. And I love being called Angie. What ever you prefer for yourself is fine and I respect that and will call you what ever you wish.:hugs:
Angie

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Lemon,

I post as a male skirt wearer, I use my male name and get referred to as it when people respond to me (or my user name). This forum has been really welcoming to me and no one has made me feel like they don't want me here even if I'm atypical of the average poster.

Having said that, I am atypical of the average poster. So sometimes threads will be addressed to "Ladies" or the girls. Sure, I could raise a stink and say "Not all of us are ladies!" but what would be the point? I know they're not saying "This only applies to those of us who identify as women!" they're just using the term out of playfulness and because most of them do not get to be called by such stuff the majority of the time otherwise.

Besides, it happens to GG women all the time, getting lumped in with the guys via language, heck I've even seen "Guys" used to refer to a group of girls with no men in it, so it's only fair we sometimes get lumped in with the "ladies" or "girls" here. Honestly, I don't even mind being lumped in with the girls if I'm out wearing skirts and stuff in my day to day life, really.

But as others have said, if you do want to be considered male on here, you should probably include some hints towards it in your sig or avatar or something, otherwise how is anyone going to assume you're not presenting as female on a forum where that is the default? Heck the posters who actually are GGs have to do that even or people just assume they're other tgirls.

[Tina B.]

My only question is just what do you do with those lemons? This could be something that the rest of us might find fun!
But seriously folks. You are what you are, and if that just means wearing a few female items to complement your look, your still one of us! We have a bunch of guys that dress but keep their beards, or mustaches, and we have a lot of people that could pass as women under bright lights up close and personal, and then there is the rest of us, it's all good and we are glad to have you among us, welcome!
Tina

[lemonlover]

However, if you ever do decide you need a femme name, just remember Myxtlpextimlly is already taken.

Totally made me laugh.


=)

And thanks, Noel, that's pretty interesting =)

i think i may choose my CD name as an androgenous one.

Lemon it wil be then. <3

[Cristi]

Like many things, how people define themselves as crossdressers does not fit well into little boxes. Some people say there is a spectrum of gender with male on one end and female on the other and everybody is somewhere on that line. Even non crossdressers are rarely all the way to the 'male' side.

I think it goes deeper than that. there is not one spectrum, there is not one spectrum to look at when trying to define or understand yourself or others... there are probably and endless number of them. For instance, consider a few of these questions and where you feel you fall on a scale from 1-10:
Do you feel feminine when dressed?
Do you want to 'pass' as a woman when dressed?
Do you feel sexually attracted to men when dressed, and desire them to be attracted to you?
Do you get sexually excited while dressed?
Do you find yourself attracted to certain types of clothes/styles/materials or periods of fashion?
Do you feel like you have a different identity when dressed?

If you were to ask those questions to every member of this board and get them to answer from 1-10, I can guarantee that you would not get a SINGLE duplicate response.

The fun thing about this board is that people from all over the spectrum can still get along without trying to force others into their own world view. Members here range from MTF transexuals heading toward transition to men who occasionally wear a pair of panties for sexual pleasure. Nobody judges where you are on the path or tries to force you into someplace you don't feel you should be.

For myself... I have no desire to transition, and male even when dressed, and chose a female name only because I didn't want to use my real name on this board. I don't think of myself as 'Cristi' at all. I fall more to the 'man in a dress' end of things, but DO like to appear as feminine as possible when dressed.

I can't expect anybody to understand just where I am in all of this, since most days I don't even understand it myself!!

PS: Welcome aboard, I hope you have fun here!

[geri-tg.]

I liked to be called by my female name when dressed and by my male name when in drab. It's your call.

[Karren H]

I thought the rules said you had to have a female name?? I have to check my book but if you don't want one then I guess we will have to assign you one!! Yeah.. So suck it up "Fluffy" and get with the game!!

Lol

If you wear what you want then you can call yourself what ever you want.. Fluffy girl!! :D

[Frédérique]

Because of the same, i don't go by a female name. Maybe it's my complete sense of gender equality. But since i joined this lovely community, it's been ticking me off.


So, males using female monikers “tick you off?” It’s all part of the fun, darling – give it a whirl... :twirl:

Do I call you “Lemon?” How about “Lover?” The latter would be more appropriate for this “lovely community,” but I would never begrudge your freedom of choice. How about a hug? Or even better, a SQUEEZE…:bighug2:

[kristinacd55]

I think Lemon's a perfectly delicious name!! :heehee: :hugs:

[Ruth]

Lemon, there's no list of boxes to tick.
Femme names are something that many of us do, maybe as a bit of fun, or as a sort of additional piece in the jigsaw, or because it reflects a real need to have a feminine identity that we can put down in black and white. But if you don't want one, or don't need one, that is just fine. You are who you are.
Personally I think Lemon is a very interesting name, and the fact that it doesn't point to either masculine or feminine origins makes it possibly very appropriate.
(I'm stuck with Ruth because it came to me in a way I can't really explain, and that has happened to a few of us here. I wouldn't have chosen it, any more than I would have chosen my birth name, but it's mine.)

[CamilleLeon]

To each his/her own. Just because some people here prefer to be called a woman's name while en femme doesn't mean that all cders should. Do what you want with it.

[Janine cd]

I think that enjoying the comfort of wearing feminine things is perfectly fine.
It matters not whether you need a female persona to go with the feeling.
What really matters is that you accept yourself as you are and join us in a community of gracious support.

[Byllie]

Lemon,

I'm also one of those who feels somewhere in the middle. My "handle" is a femme name (sort of), but lately my signature is both my male and female name to drive the point home. That said, what's so nice about this forum is that we're all accepting of each other. I've learned a lot, here, that has helped me learn more about who I really am.

Byllie/Bill

[dawnmarrie1961]

Dear Lemon Lover,
Welcome to the forum. It is good that you do not need the "validation" of being called by a feminine name or label. That shows that you already have a strong sense of self identity and do not desire, or have any need of confirmation. That is a very healthy attitude. Don't lose that.

I often got asked which way I wanted to be referred to at work. As a "Mr" or "Ms"? I would reply "It doesn't matter. Call me what ever you feel comfortable with." As a result I get called both. Some people feel the need to apologize when they make the mistake of calling me by the wrong gender. I simply say to them. "There is nothing to be sorry about. I am not insulted or upset. You merely called me by what you perceived as to my gender. Not everything is always what it appears to be."

[Ralph]

I mean, i like to use skirts and pink panties and long striped stocking, but i don't like to be called "lady" (or, well, for that matter, "boy")
Because of the same, i don't go by a female name

Hi, glad to meet you. My name's Ralph. Sounds like we have a lot in common :-)

[Satrana]

Lemon

Your CDing take is not unusual. Many CDs enjoy the clothes but do not identify as being female or desiring to emulate them. I call them tomgirls because they are a true mirror image of tomboys. You want to enjoy femininity as you please but remain grounded in your masculine gender. This is a good thing as you can control your desires without them taking you over.

I suspect that the majority of CDs are in fact like you however it is easy to get sucked into the fantasy role playing world of CDing. You don't need to think of yourself as a girl to enjoy the clothes and the feelings.

Many CDs think of themselves as girls to step outside their male selves to grant themselves permission to enjoy femininity without the guilt and shame. It is a psychological trick of the mind but it often ends up creating a split personality. If you don't want this for yourself then don't feel you have to follow the paths of others or bow to peer pressure. Your expression of femininity is your own. Enjoy it.:hugs:

[TrekGirl1701]

I've never seen a reason to give myself a traditionally female name. More and more lately I've been seeing males with female names and vice versa and they're not crossdressers. I see it as one more step to a society without gender roles.

This is how I see things. I'm genetically a male. That's a fact and not an opinion. However, my fashion sense is very much traditionally female. I even labelled myself a girl on this very forum via my username. But that was back when I wasn't sure about anything involving my crossdressing. Now I see myself as a genetic man with his own sense of style. One day I may feel like wearing a comfortable pair of carpenter jeans and a baggy tee shirt and sneakers, and the next day I may feel like wearing a short pleated skirt with knee socks and platform shoes. It doesn't mean I'm confused. It just means I'm no longer concerned with being one or the other.

[Kinky with Ink]

Some people are perfectly content being a tomgirl, and I myself have no issues with that. You should be true to yourself and if that's how you are.....then kudo's for knowing what you want in life.

Me on the other hand though, man what a mess. I consider myself Bisexual because I'm attracted to both ladies and guys. As such I would love to be hit on from either sex out at the bar or out in town. I have yet to take this aspect of me out into the public yet because of certain unchangeable circumstances though. I like to associate myself as a female and as such tailor the type of relationships I look for towards that feeling.

On the other hand though, my family leans more towards the religious side so I have to keep the male persona around for when visiting them. I'm no where near ready enough to go through with a more permanent transistion though so I will continue to consider myself as non transistioning Transgender for the time being.

In the end just do what makes you happy. The opinion that matters the most is your own of how you view yourself.

[Secret Sis]

Lemon... you sound so much like me! I have no interest in actually appearing or acting female while dressed, I just like clothes that are extremely feminine. I also have no interest in having a female name.

That's the great thing about this forum.. Just about everyone here is willing to accept you and your dressing regardless of how often you dress, or the manner in which you dress. This forum without doubt has the friendliest and most welcoming members anywhere! I've learned so much and have become very comfortable and happy with who I am.:)