blondetasha
10-19-2009, 02:50 PM
Hi all,
you may have read that I recently (i.e. yesterday) came out to my SO.
She was initially understanding however is unusually quiet and more interested in her novel at the moment - maybe this is her form of escapism. During our discussion, we did not get as far as whether I can dress whilst she is around etc etc. I feel this is best done slowly as many of you have kindly advised.
I never slept last night, was experiencing a mixture of confusion, anxiety, excitement and shock that I had actually told her. I left for work in the usual way this morning, however started getting a headache at the front of my head and got dizzy when approaching the office. I then got in to work and also had indigestion type pains in my stomach. Im guessing this is due to lack of sleep however...
I said to my boss, sorry I have to go home (and by the look on her face I cant have looked very good!) and I left.
The next thing I know, instead of heading towards the tube as normal i ended up for the first time browsing a chemist buying makeup, then in to chain stores amongst GGs buying clothing etc etc. you name it i bought it, spent a small fortune! i remember seeing workers and just thinking I dont care what anybody else thinks. I didnt think twice about it, to me it felt natural. I never had funny looks or responses (apart from some strange looks from the chemist - buying a full set up makeup, makeup remover, toner etc its obvious its not for a partner!). Looking back, i cant believe i did it!
I actually had the bottle (whilst sober) to browse around, pick up and buy the stuff!! I was stuffing all of this into my backpack each time i left a store and moving onto the next store. I pretty much hit every store on Oxford St!!
The feeling was incredible, until... BEEP BEEP BEEP! A security alarm.
The security chap from the womens clothing store asked to search my bag, Im sure my heart skipped a beat. I just said, i bought stuff for my missus, have a look.
He immediately found a claires accessories bag and said I know what it is. Opened the bag and found a security tag on the bracelet I bought earlier. "Your fine, see ya" he said.
I finally get home and try on my clothes and makeup etc, and pack it all away for when my SO gets home. I mention over dinner that I bought some clothes today and showed her.
This is where i screwed up. TOO EARLY! Even she said it. "you've had time to get used to this, I've only had 2 days", and that was pretty much it. I quickly changed the subject.
Ive never known her to be so quiet, getting worried now. Im sure it will eventually work out, i have faith in us, and never would have told her if i did not fully believe this relationship could deal with it. I said I will stop if thats what you want, but she just said there is no need.
you may have read that I recently (i.e. yesterday) came out to my SO.
She was initially understanding however is unusually quiet and more interested in her novel at the moment - maybe this is her form of escapism. During our discussion, we did not get as far as whether I can dress whilst she is around etc etc. I feel this is best done slowly as many of you have kindly advised.
I never slept last night, was experiencing a mixture of confusion, anxiety, excitement and shock that I had actually told her. I left for work in the usual way this morning, however started getting a headache at the front of my head and got dizzy when approaching the office. I then got in to work and also had indigestion type pains in my stomach. Im guessing this is due to lack of sleep however...
I said to my boss, sorry I have to go home (and by the look on her face I cant have looked very good!) and I left.
The next thing I know, instead of heading towards the tube as normal i ended up for the first time browsing a chemist buying makeup, then in to chain stores amongst GGs buying clothing etc etc. you name it i bought it, spent a small fortune! i remember seeing workers and just thinking I dont care what anybody else thinks. I didnt think twice about it, to me it felt natural. I never had funny looks or responses (apart from some strange looks from the chemist - buying a full set up makeup, makeup remover, toner etc its obvious its not for a partner!). Looking back, i cant believe i did it!
I actually had the bottle (whilst sober) to browse around, pick up and buy the stuff!! I was stuffing all of this into my backpack each time i left a store and moving onto the next store. I pretty much hit every store on Oxford St!!
The feeling was incredible, until... BEEP BEEP BEEP! A security alarm.
The security chap from the womens clothing store asked to search my bag, Im sure my heart skipped a beat. I just said, i bought stuff for my missus, have a look.
He immediately found a claires accessories bag and said I know what it is. Opened the bag and found a security tag on the bracelet I bought earlier. "Your fine, see ya" he said.
I finally get home and try on my clothes and makeup etc, and pack it all away for when my SO gets home. I mention over dinner that I bought some clothes today and showed her.
This is where i screwed up. TOO EARLY! Even she said it. "you've had time to get used to this, I've only had 2 days", and that was pretty much it. I quickly changed the subject.
Ive never known her to be so quiet, getting worried now. Im sure it will eventually work out, i have faith in us, and never would have told her if i did not fully believe this relationship could deal with it. I said I will stop if thats what you want, but she just said there is no need.