Rushing thru it

[hjt101]

i know the official way to do a transition is to see the counsellor, get evaluated, get the meds/hormones, life for a year as the new gender, then go for the surgery.

I came across an interesting offer. It involved a mental eval, then going for the surgery within a few weeks or months. The hormones and meds would be both before and after the surgery. From what I can gather, it is just a matter of paying more money to get it done this quickly.

So I ask, if you had the option (money is not the object), would you go for it?

[StaceyJane]

I don't think that would be a good idea. I believe the transition period is important.

[Teri Jean]

I cannot say what is best for you but for me the time put in and the therapy is for my benefit. I have lived six decades as a male and although this is what I feel is right and necessary, I think it is the best to experiance the year before I decide on surgery. So I will take the steps and time to be sure.

JMOP Teri

[Zenith]

Honestly...there isn't a reputable surgeon who would perform the procedure under these conditions...I would run...not walk...away from this...

[Heatherx75]

Zenith makes an excellent point. And you can NOT half-ass the surgery. There's a lot that could go wrong, and you don't want your SRS to be botched. They might screw it up to where you can never have any kind of orgasm for the rest of your life. I wonder where you heard about this.

[GypsyKaren]

Probably the most important step BEFORE surgery is the RLE, you have to find out for sure if you can actually handle the life, it's not as easy as some think it is and it leads to a lot of burst bubbles.

Karen :g2:

[noeleena]

Hi...
Does a person learn to swim if they are thrown in to the sea ...some may. many tread water . & some ........
You dont grow in 5 min s . so. the same for many of us . we need to learn .get used to .& grow . plus get some help . then you get to know your self . change . & then live . as to.... who.... you are . 50 years not knowing . 11 years Finding how you tick . what you need . & looking at your self as a person . then getting all you need to live .
& being able to live in a way . that is you . for some of us its a hell . & i v got throgh . so Has Jos . & our family are getting there . yes there is a past . so to try & do it in a very short time . for most i would ask . does it work . i dought it .
I m at a place now that i am accepted . that would not have happened . as said in a short time . the ajustment alone is hard enough your body needs time . & as you grow . your mind needs to be intune with your body . for me 11 years have been well spent & very worth while .
That does not say it was a walk in the garden of rose s yet through it all . i did smell them . & yes it was hard . so yes i m scared & hurt . & that is healing .
I can not express my self in a few words as to what it was like . so to say it really was a hell . that give s you an idear .
Now i have the rose s . i can smell them in a way i did not before .& so can Jos .
Thats why it s important to grow ..learn . & be your self . & ....that ....takes time .
...noeleena...

[luvSophia]

From what I can gather, it is just a matter of paying more money to get it done this quickly.
Just my :2c: worth, but I think that if you go this route you are simply going to end up as a man with female genitalia. If that is your goal then more power to you. However, there are many good reasons why SRS is generally the last step, or a step not taken at all, in transition. Though we may know that we are wired inside as a woman we have spent how ever many years learning how to act as a man. And the male hormones have also had numerous years to do their thing. We need the time to be able to correct as much of all that as possible. Unless you feel as though you are able to step out of the operating room and really BE a woman in all aspects you're probably going to have a very hard time getting there.

[Veronica_Jean]

I can only speak for myself, but I know that taking the time to go through transition is so worth it. Just adjusting each day to the changes as they happen both in terms of how I see myself as well as my body and mind simply takes time.

I know once I get there I will be happy in just being who I am instead of trying to "act" like someone else. For now that is still developing and that is going to continue to take time. Not to mention time for those around me to adjust once the more physical aspects become obvious.

So I would not want to do this, even if someone were handing me cash on the spot with no strings attached.

Veronica

[Kaitlyn Michele]

In the case where you have significant resources/money, I would actually say that going SLOWER is a better course of action...

The hormones and the transition experience slowly reduces the gender "dyhphoria" that causes many of us to make stupid decisions that impact the rest of our lives.

A person transitions and gets invasive life changing surgery to IMPROVE the quality of life...doing things right and getting good results will do that for the rest of your life...

If you are creating a new life in a new gender role, it seems to me that skipping transition can result in all kinds of problems and of course a botched surgery could be devastating....if you have the money, why wouldnt you go to the safest and most effective surgeons?

I can actually see the point that a girl can know what she wants and can get frustrated by the system, and by the power a therapist may have to slow things down, but paying more to get hormones and surgery faster is a terrible idea.

[sempervirens]

Wow... my first instinct is that that can't be a good idea.

I think there's a lot of dissatisfaction with the roadblocks of the SoC, and for good reason, but they serve a purpose. For some, the waiting game doesn't change interest in surgery, but for some it does. And honestly, I don't think the later "some" thought that they'd decide after their RLE that surgery wasn't for them. Whether the SoC wastes your time from a decision you're ultimately happy with, or saves you from making a mistake, at least it makes you take time to think it through.

[Eileen]

Take the time to be 100% sure. Most of us go through the process and have the surgery. There will always be a very small number that decide, in the end, that surgery is not right for them. The RLE is a time to learn and grow into the woman you have longed to be much of your life.

Eileen

[MJ]

the transition period is very important you need time to adjust. RLT should not be taken lightly. i would not do this "mental eval, then going for the surgery within a few weeks or months" not a good idea

[CharleneT]

I'm in transition, so I can't offer personal advice. BUT the only post-op that I have met who regrets having her surgery is one who rushed the process -- and not that fast either. Time is important, as is knowing for sure that you are on the right path. She had money and the opportunity to skip a few steps, and with a very reputable surgeon here in the US. Now feels that she made a mistake. Do not follow in her foot steps.

[joanlynn28]

:iagree:I am in agreement with what everyone above has to say about it. Don't rush it, the process is irreversable and you need the RLE to be sure that it is the right thing for you. To rush things along is only going to ruin your life and perhaps cause you to lose it too.

[KaraChristine]

Probably the most important step BEFORE surgery is the RLE, you have to find out for sure if you can actually handle the life, it's not as easy as some think it is and it leads to a lot of burst bubbles.

Karen :g2:

I agree with what Karen said. We go through our whole lives with this beautiful dream of one day being our true selves (whether we've consciously admitted it to ourselves or not). It's easy to think that once we're finally allowed to transition the world will be totally rosy and all our dreams will come true. The reality of being an adult, transgender or not, is often quite different. It's tough out there for everyone sometimes - and there are many extra challenges for us as trans women dealing with everything from social scorn to facial hair to ripped pantyhose to plain old sexism. Not everyone will decide that the benefits outweigh the burdens, and that's why people sometimes decide to "detransition"...

RLE and the middle part of transition seem very much like a painful adolescence - everyone wishes they could speed through it but it's the time we learn about ourselves and how (& if) we can function in our new role. There's unfortunately no substitute for that hard won experience... you just have to get out there everyday and try to have fun with it and you will 100% know when it's time for the next step... :cheer:

[MaiaCalamity]

Not to be contradictory just for the sake of playing devil's advocate, but I think if you are ready for that while still having not been feminized by hormones then maybe you should consider it. BUT be sure to check into the surgeon's credentials a good deal before considering it at all. Be absolutely sure that this person is legit and has tons of experience getting good results.

The SoC are guidelines, not the be-all-end-all. They do have an important role in that they (actually or even just from the dr's perception) reduce liability for the performing surgeon if the patient regrets the surgery. But the handling of transition is not always 100% by the book.

I'd suggest at the least you do some deep, DEEP "soul searching" and a metric ton of research on the surgeon.