Transgendered ?

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Lately, I feel more and more that I would like to live the rest of my life dressed as a woman - this feeling has become very strong. I do not want SRS - I just want to live Transgendered. The problems getting to that point are enormous.

Have any of you felt this way or have gone on to live as Transgendered w/o SRS. What obsticales have you had to overcome ? (Spouses, Family, work ?)

JoAnne Wheeler

[pickles]

These are sort of my plans. I don't see where not getting the surgery would be a problem, your private parts are nobody's business but yours.

Most states say you have to have the surgery to change your legal gender (except california). Talk to a lawyer if you're worried about that part of it.

[Karren H]

I have had those thoughts but ya know... That would ruin a perfectly good hobby... I've even thought if I had no strings of having SRS but contine to live as a male so I could keep crossdressing.... Still have all the advantages of my male life.... things would just fit better when I go out enfemme!!! Lol.

[Kate Simmons]

Oh, I could do it very easily JoAnne, no question in my mind. The biggest obstacle is myself though and the fact that I never really gave my guy self a chance until recently.:)

[Teri Jean]

Hi JoAnne,
For me there was some hurtles to get to the point of living full time as a transgender female and although some were tougher than others I live and work as a female. For some, working in an office, I would think it would be easier but I work in a trades area of the campus doing building repair. It makes my work different but not impossible so if you want it bad enough you can do it. Just do it in small steps.

Huggs Teri

[Stephenie S]

The problems getting to that point are enormous.

No, the problems are not enormous. You just have to do it. The "problems" are all in your head.

Living your life as a woman just means you have to DO it. You have to ACT. You have to DO something. The bigest obstacle is starting.

I spent almost my entire life wanting something I knew I couldn't have. But I learned eventually that I just needed to begin. Everything else just fell into place after that.

Just DO it. Don't get to the end having to say, "Oh, if only I had . . . . ."

Stephenie

[Ann Thomas]

JoAnne, I feel the same way. I have lots of challenges to face, but if I take it just one day at a time, I can handle it, I'm sure. The biggest challenge I faced was accepting myself, which I'm still working on, but have come a long way with. I no longer feel much guilt about wanting to be who I am. I have commitments I have to see through with my family, based on me being male. In the long run I don't have all the answers yet.

As far as SRS, I don't want to do that, either. I would like to grow breasts when the time is right, and I'd like to be more feminized in my skin (less hair in the right places, more hair for my balding spot).

You have my support, JoAnne! I hope it goes well for you.

Hugs,
Ann

[StaceyJane]

Just starting has been my biggest obstacle.
I have a lot of fear and self doubt to overcome. Not fear and doubt about being a woman but fear and self doubt about myself.
In a little while I will have a therapist appointment where we will discuss "the letter". I feel good about taking hormones and my therapist thinks I'm ready to start but I'm afraid of going to a doctor and telling him what I need. It's kind of irrational but fear can really control me sometimes.

[Sarah Michelle]

I was out in the yard today, top over bra, skirt over tights, work boots, winterizing my trailer. I stood up and felt the sun on my face [beautiful warm Fall day here] and knew in that moment that I could live in women's clothing forever far more easily than I believed possible.
I have an SO, step-children, and children which are the only thing[s] keeping me in drab. I don't want SRS but like you, I could live as a women given the opportunity.
And brave ladies, please don't flame me because I let concerns over my SO and children take precedence over my personal happiness. I've done the thinking and this is my life.

JoAnne, I wish you good luck and I hope you find a way.

[Tina B.]

Like many things in life you just have to be willing to pay the cost of what you want. I could be happy spending out the rest of my days in a skirt, but I am not willing to pay the cost, I also like being husband father, and grandfather. If you are willing to give up those things, the job thing can be dealt with, maybe lower pay on a new job in a new area, but that would just be part of the cost. Life is not always fair, and it's certainly not all Peaches and Cream, but it is all doable!
Tina

[karen68]

Yes me too jo I have just stared a thread explaining how I feel:hugs:

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

Myself,I often think I wouldn't living as a woman full time.I don't want GRS,just to live as a woman.But then I also like doing male things such as going to football games,hanging out with my buddies,etc.and I would miss that. As Karren said,it would ruin a great hobby. I get to live femme 50 percent of the time,so I'm happy with that.



Felicity

[Sam-antha]

Yes, I do suppose I would also like to live as suggested. But, I am so damty old and lazy now that the change would take too much effort.
Without a loving wife, then I am sure that I would have started changing some twenty five or so years back when I gave up working. Surgery tho', I doubt that.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The problems getting to that point are enormous.


I spent almost my entire life wanting something I knew I couldn't have. But I learned eventually that I just needed to begin. Everything else just fell into place after that.

Just DO it. Don't get to the end having to say, "Oh, if only I had . . . . ."

Stephenie

This is EXACTLY how I felt(feel) and you put it into words much better than me!! :hugs:

[SweetCaroline]

I can easily see myself living day to day as a woman, without hormones or surgery, given the right circumstances. Right now work and family won't permit it, and as much as I'd like to, I don't NEED to, even tho I think I would be a hell of a lot happier if I could. I already perceive myself as woman even when I'm not wearing the clothing, if that make any sense. The outward expression is all that's missing. I'm already "Caroline" everyday; it's definitely not a hobby.

Someday, maybe, just not right now.

[Joann0830]

I can easily see myself living day to day as a woman, without hormones or surgery, given the right circumstances. Right now work and family won't permit it, and as much as I'd like to, I don't NEED to, even tho I think I would be a hell of a lot happier if I could. I already perceive myself as woman even when I'm not wearing the clothing, if that make any sense. The outward expression is all that's missing. I'm already "Caroline" everyday; it's definitely not a hobby.

Someday, maybe, just not right now.

I have to agree with Sweet Caroline after my problems with the use of prescribed hormones I have come to terms with myself and regardless of anything I have survived 61 years of life 54 years of being me Joey (Female name Joey) I had at least that being able to use my name I was born with but to be able to use it as a female Name. I am and will always be what I am inside and when I dress I am like any other female Dress up when its time to go out and party and dress casual when I am not. I have taken a lot of my female clothing and mixed it with my male clothing such as mt Basic Edition stretch slacks which I wear everyday along with my panties. I am the typical lady dont wear makeup all the time or wear a bra just feel comfortable and its me Joey. Sorry to be longwinded Joann0830:battingeyelashes::heehee::love:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Thaks for all the replies so far - I need your support so much

JoAnne Wheeler

[geri-tg.]

I long to live full time female but I know that is not possible so I take all I can get.

[carrie-ann]

I'm full time. 1 It's about you and if you realy want it. 2nd You will get all kind of looks good and bad. 3rd The famaly and freinds may acept you or not. 4th My neighborhyood wants the wife and I out of here oh well. With all this said I am very happy with me. I just smile thats all I need. As long as I have my wife I'm good. 5th Using the bathroom you have to by law use the mens room. In public are you ready for that it's uncomfterable. Go for it if you think you can handle every thing that comes with it.

[Rebecca Jayne]

JoAnne, I believe the biggest obstacle to encounter is the general public's ignorance and how it limits ones lifestyle.

I am both man & woman , inside and out, 24/7
When I have to man up and do something no problem.
When I need to be feminine I am.

As far as dressing, I always under dress, and now I sleep wearing female attire so its a 24/7 situation as far as that goes.

As far as public excursions, I don't do it and don't feel it necessary now, although I have in the past.

The biggest hold back is my wife's opinion and that is NOT WHEN I"M HERE, so I do have limitations.

[suchacutie]

It's beginning to evolve that I have two worlds. There is the old, well-known masculine world. In that world I do guy things and my wife has her husband.

Then there is the reletively new feminine world. In that world Tina explores who she is, learns what it means to be feminine, enjoys that world immensely, and has her wonderful girlfriend.

The problem is that I love both worlds. When I've been masculine for a time, I miss Tina. When I've been Tina for a time I miss the masculine world.

So, JoAnne, if I were to suddenly stop being excited about my masculine world I can see how it would be easy to just swing over to Tina and not come back. Ok, there would be issues to handle, and maybe I'd keep a small part of the masculine world available if needed, but without hormones and without SRS there would still be Tina. I would likely think about some slight modifications to make my body more Tina-like (androgenous nose job, or maybe small breast implants), but they would not be necessary, and sure wouldn't stop me from being Tina 24/7.

My take would be to size up the world, see how little masculine time/activity you need, and then just do it if you feel it's you!

best!

tina

[Cathytg]

JoAnne, I am curious about your question. At the beginning you are interested in being dressed full-time but later you talk about being transgendered full-time. These are not necessarily the same thing.

Dressing full time is just that - wearing clothes that are feminine all the time. Being transgendered full-time - well, perhaps you already are. TG isn't what you do or what you wear' it's an aspect of who you are.

[Leanne2]

My dressing feminine and interacting with the general public is like a drug for me. I know that it is socially unacceptable but I can't stop doing it. If I wasn't married to my wonderful wife; if I didn't have four great children; if I didn't have 2 perfect grandchildren; and many more other ifs, then I would transition to 24/7 without SRS. But I know in my heart that this will never happen. So I am prepared to keep pretending to be what I am not. And I won't be alone. I'm sure that many of my sisters on this site will do the same. Leanne2

[sometimes_miss]

I long to live full time female but I know that is not possible so I take all I can get.

Same here. But wanting to live as a female, and actually being one are two different things. I'm sure the vast majority of us don't think like women, no matter how much we think we'd like to (me, I'd still rather think about having sex every 15 seconds rather than the wild hormonal shifts and the never ending discussions women have about nothing in particular, which I find a huge waste of time). Most of us would always be 'just another man in a dress'; pretty sometimes, maybe, but still just transplanted guys. And for those of us who are straight, well, I think the number of TS mtf who have a thrilled female partner might be in the single digits.

[sherri52]

I wouldn't mind living as a girl in a crossdressing style 100%. If I could pass I would.

[Samantha Kelsey]

Hi JoAnne,

I fully understand how you feel, I feel just the same. I just about live dressed as a woman, certainly at home or when at friends and sometimes going out and about. When at home I don't always wear make up or wig, Im just crossdressed but other times I like to fully present as a woman. This makes me realise that I am transgendered, If I wasn't then why would I want to present as a woman?

I'm perfectly happy with the way I am but sometimes I think I should Always present as a woman, lock, stock and barrel as they say. My SO would support me either way so I'm very lucky.

do I want SRS? No I don't. I'm quite happy with the bits I have. I suppose to sum up, I'd like to be a 24/7 woman who likes to crossdress as a man every now and then.
Sam.

.

[Stephenie S]

If only, if only, if only, if only!

I haven't read so many "if onlys" in one spot at one time in my entire life!

If you really want something you have to ACT on that desire. That's how ANYTHING gets done in this world.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[O2B Barbara]

I would like to be able to dress as I please all the time, which is in only womans clothing, with breasts! Maybe I should clarify that, it is my choice how I dress and when I dress. Most times I choose not to out myself for fear of the potential problems that may arise.

[Midnight Skye]

Hi JoAnne,

I totally know how you feel. I spent a long time at exactly that spot. I repressed all of my feminine feelings while growing up, denying myself any opportunity to talk to anyone or look anything up about feeling like a female inside. When I finally got out of the house and realized none of femininity was going away I started researching and found this forum (among many other resources). I learned there are TONS of cross dressers and transgendered people.

This whole world opened up to me, as I realized I wanted more than anything to live openly as a woman. Mainly like you, I wanted to present as a woman with little care what was under my skirt. As everyone says, its no ones business ;) Since this revelation I've been coming out where ever I can at a "safe" pace. I'm out openly at home and coming out freely where I live (no one knows me at all though so its no big deal). I have started to explain things to my extended family, but its crazy difficult since they live over a thousand miles away (sighs). As for being an open woman at work I'm waiting for things to be a bit farther long, but its something I look forward to.

I hope you can find the right decision yourself JoAnne. It takes lots of time and soul searching to make such a decision. But I can honestly say so far it's been nothing but right for me.

[Teri Jean]

JoAnne it's probably said before in one way or another but here it is again. Because you may decide on transition as your option it is where you are the most comfortable. Dressed 24-7 or hormones or some surgery/breast inplants or full SRS; it is your choices and when you get to that point and are satified and happiest so be it. I have read a couple books on the subject and found that there is no one box fits all but there are a lot of options for the transgendered/transsexual individual. The books ar "True Selves and The Transgender Companion". I got a lot of answers from them and coupled with my therapist I have a good idea as where I will find my journey come to fruition. Then again it may change before or after that point but the thing I'm trying to get across is no two people have the same goals and thus this is your journey, so have fun.

Hugs to you girl.

Teri

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Thank you so much girls - this is causing me so much pain right now - I am

constantly having migraine and tension headaches trying to cope with this.

I am a mess, but I appreciate so much your comments.

JoAnne Wheeler