Need Advice on What Therapist Said During Session

[kodikaos]

So i went to therapy as according to the guidelines of blah blah to be diagnosed with gender disphoria so that i can get a t - letter and begin my transition.

And what this lady basically told me was that she thinks i'm not transgender, i'm just jealous because my brother and his friends wouldn't let me play with them when i was a kid.

is this common? will this affect whether or not i will get a t-letter? should i switch therapists?

What are some opinions about this?

~Kodi

[pickles]

You'll really have to give us more detail about what was said during the session.

Also, you could find another therapist, I've been to several in my life and every one's just been a waste of time - just looking for an easy job where they don't have to do anything.

[WalT]

A little more context would be nice, but it honestly seems you need to get a therapist.

That is an utterly bizarre, and quite frankly, and utterly unacceptable answer to give someone. It seriously upsets me that psychology has resorted so much to pop psychology answers or even answers that were discarded a long time ago.

[kodikaos]

This was during the second session that i had with her, my third is scheduled for tomorrow.

And basically what we were talking about was my family and how my brother would play with our neighbor (who was another little boy about my age) and they would not let me play with them because i was a "girl" and girls have cooties. And i mentioned that i always thought that my brother got cooler toys and that even though my toys were the same quality, they were usually dolls and girly things.

then she said "What i'm seeing here is more jealousy and anger that they wouldn't let you play with them. And these are natural normal feelings for a girl growing up in those conditions. I don't see very many hints of transgender aspects in your childhood as much as i see loneliness and jealousy that you weren't included in their games."

I left the session feeling pissed off and i remember thinking who the hell is this lady to tell me if i'm transgender or not? who does she think she is telling me why i feel a certain way or even how i feel about something?

[4serrus]

It's always best to get a second (or even third) opinion when you're not sure of what a doctor is telling you. Especially in psychology and therapy since it's such a weird and not-well-understood field.

Does this person have a lot of experience with transgender clients?

[kodikaos]

It's always best to get a second (or even third) opinion when you're not sure of what a doctor is telling you. Especially in psychology and therapy since it's such a weird and not-well-understood field.

Does this person have a lot of experience with transgender clients?

No, there are no therapists in my area who have any experience at all in the transgender field who are taking new clients.

[Wen4cd]

Theapists are people too. She might be saying one thing, but thinking:

"This person did not come here to get any help or advice from me whatsoever, but only to get my signature on a letter. That in itself negates the theraputic relationship, so what am I to ethically do now? I must revert to cool professionalism."

I'd say the relationship has had a bad start, and you shoud find a different therapist. If you're looking for one to 'write' for you, they're available, but you're not going to get what you want from this one.

[Miranda09]

Don't forget, therapists are there to offer an impartial 3rd person view of your situation. She only has to go on what you have told her, based on what she has asked you. Maybe what she says has some validity, maybe not. It's up to you to interpret properly. Don't get too upset. She's just doing what she's been trained to do and what she's supposed to do. Just take the info from your therapy, think on it, and when you go back, continue and see what transpires. It's not a bad idea for another opinion as well. :)

[Ze]

No, there are no therapists in my area who have any experience at all in the transgender field who are taking new clients.

That's probably going to be an issue, unfortunately. Therapists who don't have TG experience usually can't relate to TG issues and identities, so they try to find answers based on the areas of expertise they did study. Perhaps a bias is in there, too, I'm not sure. From the medical journals I've read, though, there seems to still be a trend of non-TG-specialized therapists being very unwilling to help a TG person transition if it "encourages" bisexuality or homosexuality. (i.e. They'd be more apt, if at all, to okay your T letter if you are attracted strictly to men rather than women or men and women.) Either way, when they haven't been trained or educated in what you need, they won't be able to truly hear what you have to say.

I agree with everybody here who suggested getting a second opinion. I find that highly important to do. Also, look for TG-specialized therapists even outside of your area. A long trip several times will probably be a moot point to you in regards to being able to get on T. :)

Best of luck to you and it was nice meeting you, Kodi! :hugs: