SO accepting little by little

[Sally2005]

I've been getting ready for halloween enfem. Didn't tell my wife until tonight when she said she doesn't know what to wear for halloween. I calmly told her, I've started on mine. She calmly asked, oh are you dressing up as a woman this year? I said, sure am, and it sort of a zombie costume. She says, what's that going to look like? I said, actually, its as a bride and I got the dress... She says with some excitement, oh...you got a wedding dress?! Me, yup real good deal so I thought it could be a lot of fun you can be my zombie bride's maid, zombie groom or take out your old wedding dress and be a zombie bride too! No big deal, she seems to be fine with it, but still is not sure what to wear. Anyone who knows me, my wife's acceptance goes up and down, I'm not out to her other than halloween, but may get there soon because this year I'm pulling all stops to almost force the discussion, no promises though. Now, I just have to man up enough to ask to borrow her strapless bra... ha ha ha.

[Tina B.]

Sally you could just go out and get your own bra, and then put in your dresser drawers afterward, that should get the conversation going.
Tina

[Fran Moore]

I hope everything goes well and the two of you have a wonderful evening. All treats and no tricks!

Maybe a photo or two of the blushing bridezilla's??

Suzanne:D

[Sally2005]

Actually... I might go for attached forms white garter belt, stockings and shaved legs which no one will see... That ought to get the conversation going (after a night of fun in bed) because the forms and shaved legs will be new to her. Maybe playing with fire though, but can talk my way out if it goes really badly, but we're in a good place emotionally lately.

[Jessica Who]

All the best with that :D Hope it goes well

[Leslie Langford]

I've been getting ready for halloween enfem. Didn't tell my wife until tonight when she said she doesn't know what to wear for halloween. I calmly told her, I've started on mine. She calmly asked, oh are you dressing up as a woman this year? I said, sure am, and it sort of a zombie costume. She says, what's that going to look like? I said, actually, its as a bride and I got the dress... She says with some excitement, oh...you got a wedding dress?! Me, yup real good deal so I thought it could be a lot of fun you can be my zombie bride's maid, zombie groom or take out your old wedding dress and be a zombie bride too! No big deal, she seems to be fine with it, but still is not sure what to wear. Anyone who knows me, my wife's acceptance goes up and down, I'm not out to her other than halloween, but may get there soon because this year I'm pulling all stops to almost force the discussion, no promises though. Now, I just have to man up enough to ask to borrow her strapless bra... ha ha ha.

...do you really think that your wife isn't on to you at this point - especially since you've established a pattern of dressing as a woman every Halloween over the last several years. Denial isn't only a river in Egypt, you know :heehee::doh:.

Sounds as if that has been a huge unspoken elephant in the room which your wife is only now starting to acknowledge tentatively and maybe even becoming somewhat comfortable with, since it is likely now clear to her that our SO's greatest fears in this connection - "Are you gay? Do you want to actually become a woman?" have proven themselves to be unfounded with the passage of time.

By all means, make the best of this small crack in the door, but also remember the "baby steps, baby steps" adage that so many of us here subscribe to so as not to overwhelm her all at once as she gets more comfortable with this side of you.

And don't forget the pics once everything is done with :daydreaming:!

[Sheila]

I'm not out to her other than Halloween, but may get there soon because this year I'm pulling all stops to almost force the discussion, no promises though.

I hope both yopu and your wife have a great Halloween, and it would be a great place to "START" the conversation about CDing, rather than "force" the issue, there is a big difference to seeing it once a year as part of the Halloween festivities and living with it on a daily basis, when you do decide to talk with your wife, please mention we have a GG only section of this forum called FAB, where she can come chat with all the girls, some who are where she is, some who are a little way down the road and some who are in well established long term relationships where CDing has been involved :) .. we also have a laugh in therer as well as discussing CDing issues.

Good luck and don't forget to let her know how much you care and to cxome back and let us know how it goes :hugs:

[FluffyPersian]

Actually... I might go for attached forms white garter belt, stockings and shaved legs which no one will see... That ought to get the conversation going (after a night of fun in bed) because the forms and shaved legs will be new to her. Maybe playing with fire though, but can talk my way out if it goes really badly, but we're in a good place emotionally lately.

Your wife is pushing past her own boundaries to accept you in order to keep the marriage together. Why punish her efforts by "forcing" the issue? I promise you, it won't make her more accepting of you.

[Sally2005]

Have to remember those baby steps... She's going to do the 'I told you so' if I take a blade to my legs, which is expected. The forms might freak her out a little, but sometimes you just gotta do it. My plan though, is to just outright ask her if she enjoys it and see where the discussion goes and unlike in the past I'm going to keep the conversation alive and try to be as open as possible with her.

[Rogina B]

Willing to bet a tube of lipstick that wearing the boobs to bed after,along with your other undergarments will get the" I am not a lesbian,so don't expect me to be turned on" reply. Want to bet? Great costume choice...Bride from Hell! LOL

[Sedona]

Have to remember those baby steps...


Yes, agree. Forcing (of anything) does not tend to be the best idea with women.

[Sarah Michelle]

Personally, I'm a coward and haven't had the parts to step forward. You on the other hand can see a crack in the door that might allow you to open it wide[r]. All the advice here is wise and most of it probably learned the hard way, so weigh it up, then follow your heart and mind....
I would be so much more comfortable if I WASN'T A SECRET. Apparently a Freudian slip hit the caps lock key.....

[CD202Leanne]

Willing to bet a tube of lipstick that wearing the boobs to bed after,along with your other undergarments will get the" I am not a lesbian,so don't expect me to be turned on" reply. Want to bet?

Yep . . . . no doubt about it. And I'd bet more than a tube of lipstick on THAT ONE . . . . . already been down that road. If this were a blackjack table at The Flamingo in Vegas, I'd be throwing a handful of $20 chips down ! ! :devil:

[CherylFlint]

First rule: NEVER wear anything of hers. If I were you. I'd just get dressed as a female, maybe as a hooker, you know what I mean? But classy, not trashy.
Do a good job, be CONVINCING to your wife. Ask her for makeup advice. When you get home. leave the garter belt and stockings and shoes on. Don't get HIGH heeled shoes, just get shoes with a 1" heel that are COMFORTABLE.
Leave your bra and wig and make-up and jewery on and say that "Oh, this feels nice, I really feel relaxed in this outfit, would you mind if I kept it on?". Believe me, she'll say to leave it on. Maybe a week or so later you can ask her if you could wear the outfit again since it "relaxes you so". You got a great opportunity, don't blow it.

[Sally2005]

Oh Oh.... small setback. Tonight my wife was trying to pull her costume together. All my female clothing is stored with the halloween costumes. I store it all together so I'm not exactly hiding it and I was thinking it would be easy to come out to her by letting her ask some questions about the clothing when she saw it...well she did just that, except first she starting pulling out the clothing and trying to use it for her costume, she laughed at some of it, and pulled out a leather jacket and skirt which I never wore because it was too sexy (she said it was cool, but too big for her). She asked what kind of costume I was trying to make...all I could muster was, not sure...just some ideas. I didn't want to ruin the creative mood she was in (not the right time) so I didn't out myself. It was a weird feeling, having her dig through all my female clothes and I was hoping she would not destroy anything I like for her costume. Then before she asked too much, she wanted to see my wedding dress and asked me to try it on.

All was well, she said it looked good, but what she said next I have to think about. She said, I hope you are not going to be a pretty bride. She thinks I should do a male head with a stitched on look on top of a female body. A couple other comments she made paint the picture that she has 'no clue' that I desire to dress up other than halloween and also some hints that she doesn't want me to compete with her or mess with her male image of me...not sure which.

I don't want to look like a guy in a dress, I have no hangup on that, just not what I'm in the mood for. But, her idea has some merrit. I'm thinking I could go 100% pretty as possible female bride, but wear an obviously fake mustach and/or beard. I think this would get some laughs and is a good icebreaker...'can't you see I'm a crossdressing bride' and I could play with it using a male or female voice to keep some people guessing.

Anyhow...her acceptance is questionable at this point and I think the gamblers are correct...better leave the forms out in the near future. Baby steps! But, at least I have a starting point now... and an opportunity to share this part of me with her.

[carolyn todd]

good luck sally you are in our thought will be think about you.

good luck
carolyn xx

[Rogina B]

Well,You can be partway on your fantasy of bridal dressing. Tell her next year you want your face to match your outfit as you are so turned on by wearing it.....not lying!!! You have an interesting place to store your girl costumes...:lol2:

[Nicole Marie]

I just outed myself to my wife 10 days ago and after the initial shock and fear, by talking it out, she has come to an understanding and actually wants to participate! We've been married for 23 years and she did have an idea that I liked putting on women's clothes and make-up but was not aware of my continued dressing and going out. I know your fear, believe me it was the hardest thing I've ever done in our marriage. You'll know when it feels right and when it does, just be open, honest and sincere. My best wishes for a good outcome!

[KayC]

I can't say you should do this, but from a GG's standpoint, I'd rather be told the truth. Once the shock wears off and you begin to learn about it, it's easy to be accepting and even enjoy being a part of it.
I just think it will be horribly disappointing for you to be "partway" when you are so pretty you could be a gorgeous bride! As for her feeling jealous or competitive, I understand those feelings, but it's part of what she needs to go through to work through in being a CDer's SO. If you could get her to the FAB section (after ten posts), it would help her tremendously to know SHE's not alone, and get questions answered and once she sees how accepting WE are, it would help further along HER acceptance. Sometimes someone just needs to look at something through a fresh perspective.

But this is your decision, and as was already said, you'll know when the time is right.