the continuum

[Juliemckay]

I haven't done much posting here of late (for a lot of reasons). Mostly due to the fact that I'm unsure of where I stand on the "continuum". I have come to realize that there isn't a male and female, rather it's a continuum between the two. some fall more towards one end or the other. At one point, earlier this year, I would have placed myself about the halfway point (almost equal male and female). My place on that continuum, at that time, seemed pretty constant. That has seemed to change, for some reason. I slide all over the place now. Some days, I feel like I did while playing college football (very macho), some days, I long to be a real woman. I just had a yearly physical done and had a hormone (T) level done and it was just (slightly) low normal. I'm sure it's a mental/emotional thing. It does bother me, because for so long I had felt I had found "my place". Now I'm really unsure of my place. I started talking to someone (both a T-girl and a therapist, in the same body) about this. Although I haven't figured out why (as of yet), we have come to the conclution that there is something "afoot".


Has anyone else gone through sometimes like these?

[Karren H]

That's my life!!! One minute I'm on the ice knocking someone on their ass playing ice hockey and the next I'm curling my eyelashes and playing with makeup.. And I love the duality of it.. Personally I don't need to fit into a slot somewhere on the M - F scale.. I don't need to know my place.. I don't need to have a name for it... And I don't need to hire someone to tell me I love doing what I love doing..

I can be 99% M one moment and 99% F the next.. If variety is the spice of life then this is uber variety make life even better!! In my humble opinion

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Yes - I ---------- All of us -----------I are somewhere on the continuum

and we are all bound by one commonality - we are sisters in our journey to

live with and express our inner feminity. I have lived the continuum for 64

years. Sometimes I am content to be a CDer and recently I have decided

that I am probably Transgendered and would love to live out the remainder of

my life that way. I do not want SRS as my youngest brother (now sister)

had about 10 years ago, but I would love to live and dress as JoAnne for the

rest of my life. I am experiencing great anguish and indicision at this time

because of my Spouse of 39 years (who would leave me in a heartbeat) and

my friends (who would totally shun me) and my job (where I would have to

give up) and my mortgage on my business (what would I do about that)

I think that we all move across the contiuum from time to time.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Sarah Michelle]

I read a study recently that stated that males as they age and their testosterone levels drop take on female traits and characteristics. They become less aggressive and more nurturing. Of course this is the extreme, but their point is there is a sceintific basis for the blurring of the lines due to aging and hormonal changes. Maybe you are part of that group.
I have just come out of decades at an ultra-male career and now spend my days happily dressed enfemme, keeping house, cooking and shopping [in drab]. For me it was escaping the need for conformity plus [I believe] hormonal imbalance.
I share JoAnne's anguish. I would live this way in a heart-beat if it wasn't for the unsuspecting members of my family who didn't change. I did.
I don't [can't?] understand the pure on again/off again that Karen speaks off but each to their own.

[Carol A]

I agree with Karren Hutton 100%, but down deep I prefer my female side.

[Karren H]

Hell I don't understand it but I've grown to accept it... Funny about my T levels.. Appearently when my brain tumor started growing it trashed them.. Sex drive and crossdressing went away... For almost 10 years.... And it wasn't till I started medication which restored my T levels to normal that my crossdressing came back with a vengence.. My urges to crossdress are tied to a high T level... Not a lower one.. And the female hormone my tumor secreted takes that urge away? Figure that one out? Lol.

I should have choosen "Abbie Normal" as my fem name.. :)

[Samantha Kelsey]

HI,

If you forget all about labels, men/women, boy/girl, gay/straight, black/white etc and just remember that each one of us is a Person or a soul, then it doesn't matter which side of any line we are so you can forget about all the other things and get on with your life as You wish.
Sam.

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