Married CDr's with children - what do the children say?

[Jesse69]

For those married crossdressor with children - what do the children say, do, or feel when they knew about your crossdressing or have seen you in drag? Do you keep cd'ing a secret from your children instead?

If your children know about you do they also want to be crossdressors? Or would you not want your children to crossdress?

[StephanieCD]

Mine's 5... my plan is to do my best to raise an open-minded person so that if she ever finds out she can accept it. I COULD tell her now, while she's young, but I don't want to impose such a huge concept on her little world...

[Melissa Ryan]

Hi Jesse, About 18 months ago i decided to have a talk with my 11 yr old son,told him that i liked to wear womans clothes. I showed him I was wearing a bra at the time, he cracked up laughing! Since then I have been around to visit as melissa (he lives with his mum) and he seems to have no problem, he even went out and bought Melissa some nail polish out of his own money, and has a gift put away for christmas for her.
As for would he become a crossdresser, he has shown no signs of wanting too.
In fact his mum asked him if he wanted to grow his hair (mine is naturally long) like his dads, his reply "No way". he is totaly his own person with his own likes and dislikes, and I hope I have been teaching him to be accepting of others no matter how different, It seems to be working........
...........Melissa.........

[StephanieCD]

That's a big thing, him buying you nail polish with his own money. Got a good boy there, I'd guess.

[Jenny Beth]

My daughter from a previous relationship came to live with my wife and I when she was fifteen. A year later she found some of my things and the outcome was pretty bad. She went back to her mother and we didn't talk for a couple of years. She's 27 now and things have smoothed over incedibly well and she's seen me dressed once but that's a whole other story. We all have 20/20 hindsight but if I could go back in time knowing what it cost both of us I would have tried to find a way to tell her. At least I would have had some control of the situation.

[Sharon]

My youngest daughter has known about me for many years, although I didn't find this out until fairly recently. I have since told both of my other children (all are grown).
So, to answer your question, I did keep my crossdressing a secret from them for many years, fearful of ruining the close relationships I have with them all. Fortunately, though, those fears turned out to be unfounded.
At no time, however, did I worry about any of them (I have one son) ever adopting my crossdresssing tendencies.

[Olivia]

I waited till this past february to tell my two grown children. My son, 23, lives at home presently and my daughter, 25, lives in Dallas. I thought long and hard about it; got lot's of great advice and support here of course. I talked it over with my wife and sat 'em down one saturday afternoon and just spilled it. Both took it very well and were very accepting. My son sees Olivia everyday and it seems to be no big deal to him. She, on the other hand, is still a little tense about it I think. She hasn't seen me dressed to the extent that he has but I don't think it's a big problem; just that her reaction is different. I'm quite proud of both of them, they've handled it like the intelligent, open-minded people I know they are. Dang, must have done something right I guess. Later, Olivia

[Holly]

Well, my daughter found out today... Click here to read the story. Still working on how to approach my son. As far as wanting them to crossdress or not, it's their choice, not mine. But I would find favor in any endevor they would pursue.

[Ozlinda]

My kids (8 & 10) don't know but they will notice sooner or later. My wife and I have been amazed nothing has been said yet. My nightie and panties on the bed, never any male underwear anywhere, and other things (such as tigjhts drying that are obviously too long to be anyone elses) will give it away. we figure that when they say something, we treat it as "Dad's clothes". That said, I don't put on a display to get it into the open. Hopefully, they will be tolerant when the time comes.

[FionaAlexis]

My daughter, who is 15, is aware that I am TG, that I dress as a woman and that I go out dressed. I even think she has told her boyfriend.

We have spoke about it but we've never had a full on discussion about it though I have tried a few times to open the subject. She seems to prefer to leave matters unsaid for the moment though we have talked about transgenderism generally. She has seen my wardrobe of clothes, my avatar, the TG symbol wallpaper on my PC, she's seen my clothes on the floor etc. but she hasn't seen me dressed.

It has not affected our relationship but I don't think I can force the subject. Teenage years are difficult enough without also coming to terms with your parent's issues. I prefer to leave it to her to raise it with me in her own time in her own way.

Fiona xx

[DonnaT]

My son (lives at home) has known longer than my daughter (lives on her own). She's only seen my avatar, but my son has seen me in fm clothes from a nighty to the cami top I'm wearing right now as he heads out the door for work.

I don't worry about either one wanting to CD, but if they did I'd support them of course.

[Marianne]

Lessee,

My own daughter, 20, said "cool, then you probably won't mind that I'm bisexual!"

Stepdaughter, 34, said "hey, no big deal, whatever floats yer boat"

Stepson, 23, said "Ah, that explains all that good advice you gave me about how to pick up women!"

One last stepseon hasn't said anything yet, he's probably waiting for the right opportunity (like when I've got a mouthful of beer!) to hit me with a 'zinger' line.

[Tristen Cox]

I think this topic, although unrelated to myself deserves more than a few replies before it gets bumped off the first page, so back up top. ;)

[HaleyPink2000]

Well my Daughter has been in a major company, and was over the HR department.

I still have not told her. Should I, yeah prolly someday! My Grand Children that come see me. It would distroy my Grand son. The two girls would not really care. Might even think it was kinda cool. Will I tell them. No! Why open doors till it's time. Do they really need to know my personal life. No!

My Idea on this is to let it be till they get older. If need be, then tell them.
Let them have their childhood as long as possible. Older children. Yeah, be open if they ask. Don't ever tell them lies. They would rather have an honest parent. But once they are grown they would be more apt to understand. If they don't understand, then give them time. If they really are your friend! They will understand and care about you. My Daughter is my friend, Will I tell her? Yeah if she ever asks. But not till she does. Why? Really Why should I?

I don't go to her house dressed. I don't dress in my community only away from it.

So why would I? Why ask for the problems with coming out to everyone while I am still working, not retired. At that working at a job that people would not treat you very well if they did know.

When I retire fine, NP. I'll dress and never dress as a Man much again after that. But as for now, why cause waves. Why stir the pot when you don't have to yet. Take it one day at a time I always say. I don't stress over this. I just live my life and if people find out then I'll figure it out as I have everything else in my life. If they are my friends they will stick by me. If not let em go bye bye.

Thanks for reading this some times I do ramble. Tee Hee:)

Haley:)

[Melissa Ryan]

I dont know if this is relevant to this thread. However it is one of many reasons that I felt my son should know about me, from me. When I was 6 my brother Mark was born. I am not sure of the time frame, but he died not to long later. Iwas told the facts, to answer why he wasnt coming home, but never talked to about it.They must have thought me deaf and blind.My Mum was in bed crying for weeks, and cried regularly after that. Friends and neighbours heard the whole story(so did I) (but not fom them) Iguess they were trying to protect me. But from what? The truth? I would rather have been able to be a "man" for both of them. Dont get me wrong I am not bitter. I was just left out of thier life. I never want to leave my (not so little man any more) out of my life! We all do and say things wrong at times, but I would rather be wrong and he will know, that I never have lied or left him out.......Because I LOVE him........

.......Melissa............

[Clare]

I have a 3yrs Son and had a 22yrs stepson until recently.

I have being wearing pantyhose for years and i started doing it in front of my stepson when he was 18yrs in the same week my Mum died - i think it was associated with getting over her death.

He asked his Mum why i wearing pantyhose (i had shorts on), she just said that i usually wore them to stop his nylon work pants causing a skin rash (legs are shaved), and that he just wanted to put them on during his upset. All of which is true by the way.

As for my little boy, I would have kept it from him until he was grown up and could understand the reasoning behind it all. Little kids need their innocent lives for as long as possible - they grow up so quickly you know.

Christine

[Katie Ashe]

Well seeing how I'm telling certain family members only... My kids are used to seeing my nails done, as I do theirs alot also. 2 kids for me, 10B & 9G. They see me in nude panyhose day n night but never ask, and there know I wear them, I think. They love me no matter what and rarely ask why I wear things. I'm stopping my son from following me... I want him to be his own person. My Daughter is "Barbi" anyways, no worries there. I will tell them when they ask, or when they are older which ever comes first. Over all they don't know and I keep it on the real down low for now. They are becoming more open minded everyday... As we talk about real life things... gays, drugs, smoking, no sex yet (I'm avioding that one for now), etc...

[Brittney M]

Both my children know about my crossdressing. I have a boy 21 and a girl that is 15. My boy has not seen me dressed but I know he knows and has never said nothing. My girl on the other hand has seen me dress on a regular bases and it don't bother her at all.