why now

[joannemarie barker]

hi all.i have been dressing since early teens as some of you already know and over the years i have become much more comfortable with accepting who i am in that respect.i've also been guilty for many years of the fantasy of having a man when being joanne but thats where it usually stayed.ive always dated women and even been engaged once but lately i have found myself looking at men much more than women even when in drab and have a strong attraction to a guy at work who is straight.has this always been with me? i feel that at 38 i'm a bit old to be questioning my sexuality

[38_tights_MI]

I get the same feeling when dressed up. I am straight and have always dated women. But when I get dressed I get this urge and fantasize about being with a man. To look and feel sexy for him. My tights and body tingles with joy and get excited thinking about how pretty and sexy I am for him. But thats all it becomes just a fantasy. So your not alone. Keep dressing and having fun.

[gennee]

I know I have, Joanne. Even thought of myself being a bridesmaid.

Gennee

[Wen4cd]

Jung always talked about middle-of-life reconnections with the archetypes. Apparently it's normal and preferable to losing them. Lemme try to find the quote....ah.

"After the middle of life, however, permanent loss of the anima means a diminuation of vitality, of flexibility, and of human kindness. The result, as a rule, is a premature rigidity, crustiness, stereotypy, fanatical one-sidedness, obstinancy, pedantry, or else resignation, weariness, sloppiness, irresponsibility, and finally a childish ramollissment with a tendency to alcohol. After middle life, therefore, the connection with the archetypal sphere of experience should if possible be re-established."


Yeah, he just described my good ol' dad. I'll pass.

edit: guess that makes little sense in reference to your OP, without explanation. Anima is archetype that is usually said to be responsible for personal attraction to others, things, etc. It's also another word for man's inner feminine personality, their 'girly side' their natural feminine traits which are repressed, etc...

So I take Jung's quote to mean that denying what the heart wants leads to the condition described above, which I call premature death.

[DawnRodgers]

Frankly I don't think you're ever too old to experience new things and there are things that it takes a while to recognize and understand. It tool me a long time of dreaming to realize that.
Dawn

[Blaire]

For me, my self acceptance of being a cd came at the same time I had a revelation about my orientation. I was 38.

I'd say it wasn't too late. Its never too late to become more aware of yourself.

I think the more immediate concern is whether or not you're going ro do anything about it.

[joannemarie barker]

thanks girls.i think i will end up acting on it soon :)

[Lorileah]

Since he is straight maybe it is just a new conquest that you think you can do?

Sexuality is a bell curve. I still believe no one is 100% anything so having some feelings would be within the norm.

[sandra-leigh]

i feel that at 38 i'm a bit old to be questioning my sexuality

I know people considerably older than yourself who are questioning their sexuality. And from what I have read, a fair number of couple start swinging in their fourties (life's settled down, perhaps gotten a bit too routine, the kids are grown enough to be left on their own, "we're not getting any younger, so why deny ourselves this fun?", etc..)

For that matter, if you look over in the FTM section, although there are certainly a number of relative youngsters, at least when I last looked (perhaps a 18 months ago), many of the GG were full adults, married for 15+ years, perhaps even young adult children -- and only then realized they were TS. There was a brief discussion about why the MTF and FTM sections were so different, and at the time with that combination of regulars, a lot of the difference had to do with age and life experience. e.g., while the MTF were Dressing and going out clubbing as if they were 20 years younger, there wasn't much of the corresponding experience for the FTM.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Joanne, If you're attracted to this guy it's unimportant and it's your business. The subjects of "gay" and "bi" get used as punching bags sometimes. Like on TV and in magazines. Even the nicest people in talk shows and the cable TV news expect their guests to fall all over themselves apologizing if they had gay or lesbian sex.

[TonyaV]

hi all.i have been dressing since early teens as some of you already know and over the years i have become much more comfortable with accepting who i am in that respect.i've also been guilty for many years of the fantasy of having a man when being joanne but thats where it usually stayed.ive always dated women and even been engaged once but lately i have found myself looking at men much more than women even when in drab and have a strong attraction to a guy at work who is straight.has this always been with me? i feel that at 38 i'm a bit old to be questioning my sexuality

I used to shy away at first, but now I absolutely love it whenever men flirt with "Tonya". And, I've been a naughty girl few of those times.

[Alice Torn]

Yes, everytime I get fully dolled up, i wonder about being with one, and have come close to meeting up, on cd dating sites.

[carolinoakland]

That's funny, a little late. ha. I think that for myself, like you I KNOW that I'm attracted to women. but things feel diferently when you stop worrying. Since I transitioned I sometimes am suprised at a non physical attraction to a guy. I consider myself an "Eh" sexual, if you like me and I like you.... eh, let's see what happens? I dont think I want to live with absolutes that I'm unsure about,no? Just trust your instincts, but don't act impulsively. Carol

[Vanessa R.]

I understand your issue, like you, when I am dressed I'm curious about what it would be like to be with a man. Or at the very least what it would be like to be treated like a woman. But what concerns me lately is that when dressed like a man, more and more I am very curious about what it would be like to be with a cross-dressed gurl. Although I dress, I have always thought of myself as straight, but lately when I see a beautiful, passable gurl, whereas before I would just appreciate her clothes or her make up, now I find myself curious. Is that normal?

Vanessa R.

[sharynPA]

I'm in the club too. Don't know why. I just find it exciting. Sharyn has a mind of her own. I think we actually argue, like the little devil and angel on your shoulder in those old cartoons.

[PetiteDuality]

When I was a teenager and had no idea about what crossdressing was, I was convinced that I was gay. Otherwise, why else would I want to wear girls clothes? It was the stereotype to fit. I tried to stare at guys and try to picture myself kissing them, and it was a repulsive idea for me. However, I always had crushes on girls...

My stupid conclusion at the time was that I was a failure as a gay... Internet is a good thing to have!!!

Going back to the original subject: I think that one thing is to have the fantasy or the curiosity and something different is to face the reality of being with a man, if you are hetero. If you are not into it, then you are just not into it.

[Sarah5]

I totally understand that and have had the sme feelings as well. I wonder if it has tro do with the fact that deep down we wished were female and having a man in that way while dressed would be the ultimate compliment and approval of our feminity.

It is definatly a fantasy of mine....wink wink.