I'm growing to hate Halloween

[TxKimberly]

Well, that sums it up - I'm growing to hate Halloween.
I just returned from a Halloween party thrown by a co-worker. There were many wonderful and fun people there and I had a reasonably nice time I suppose. The thing is, so many women were wearing cute and adorable costumes, and yes, more than one or two were sexy as well. Me? Nope, that's outta the question. A few days ago when we were talking about it, and how I wish I could wear something cute to the party, she got this puckered look on her face like she had just sucked on a lemon by mistake.
"Ewwww! Why do you EVEN go there?!" she demanded, making it crystal clear exactly how she felt about the very concept. It's the one time where we can safely get away with it around people we know, and I am really kind of growing to resent her disgusted stance and attitude on it.
So reasonable, or unreasonable, whether I'm a spoiled brat or not, I AM coming to hate Halloween. It just rubs my face in how my wife apparently really feels about me, and what I can and can't be, what I am and am not.
Yup, I think Halloween sucks . . .

[kimberly ann487]

Just stop and count your blessings, Kimberly.:hugs:

[cdinmd206]

I get the same from my wife, Kimberly. I really think she resents the attention I get when dressed.
She is supportive at times but, then other times I have learned not to even mention crossdressing. Menopause?
By the way Kimberly, love your postings and pics.

[joann07]

Sorry to hear about your predicament sis.
Halloween is the perfect time for "anything goes" where you can wear whatever you want and nobody will care to judge.
I feel your pain, but I hope that one day your wife will be understanding.

Hugs!

[DawnRodgers]

One of the conundrums of life on this earth. Dawn

[Karren H]

If Kimberly's life sucks then it's time for me quit crossdressing and go play more ice hockey.........

[FluffyPersian]

Kimberly, you have an extremely supportive spouse who has put up with a lot so that you can cross dress. Yes, there are some here who say that CDs should dress whenever and wherever they want, damn the consequences. But you seem like someone who cares about his wife and her feelings.

Why not surprise her and suggest a couple costume where *she's* the female one and you're her man--e.g. Romeo and Juliet. I'll bet it would mean a lot to her. Sure, it's less fun than being a girl, but you might be surprised at how much joy you'd get from making her happy. (If she's neutral on the idea, you can just drop it..)

[Karen564]

I really dont know what to say Kim, maybe she just got the totally wrong impression about your costume or something..

So what exactly what did you want to wear??

:hugs:

[Acadeca]

I get the same from my wife, Kimberly. I really think she resents the attention I get when dressed.
.

Sorry, but I don't it's jealousy that's at work. There are very few CDs who look better than GGs, even menopausal ones.

The problem is more that she's a heterosexual woman and she's attracted to men. So it's hard for her to see the man she married as a woman.

I understand that CDs have an inherent need to dress. But wives have an inherent need for a man, that's what being straight means. They can't help wanting a man anymore than you can't help not wanting to dress as one.

[Shelby]

Just returned from a halloween party and there were a a few guys dressed as women but no where's close to passing. Oddly enough, a person who I thought was in drag was actually a gg. Later that night I was flirting with her. I found it funny when one of the guys almost tripped going down a step while in heels. I would have loved to have dressed up but not with my bro-in-law around and hard to meet women for dating.

I know how bummed you are Kim about not getting to dress on our national holiday. To say how lucky you are to have a supportive wife is quite true either. Hang in there, your day will come.

[Sheila]

sent you a PM hun :hugs:

[donnatracey]

Just returned from a halloween party and there were a a few guys dressed as women but no where's close to passing. Oddly enough, a person who I thought was in drag was actually a gg. Later that night I was flirting with her. I found it funny when one of the guys almost tripped going down a step while in heels. I would have loved to have dressed up but not with my bro-in-law around and hard to meet women for dating.

I know how bummed you are Kim about not getting to dress on our national holiday. To say how lucky you are to have a supportive wife is quite true either. Hang in there, your day will come.

Well, that can't be good.......esp for her.....:devil:

[Miranda09]

Hi Kimberly...wish I could say something clever and hopeful to make you feel better, but if it's any consolation, I'm sure you would've turned quite a few heads. Chin up gf. There'll be other Halloween's .. :):hugs:

[kellycan27]

Kim... You look so good when you are dressed maybe your wife was worried that you'ed out yourself. Given that opportunity would you have given it your best shot? Just a thought. :hugs:
Kel

[Sammy777]

Its sucky to hear that. Sorry about that Kim.
But look at the bright side, you get to do a lot, stuff that other girls on here only wish of doing.

not to mention the way you tell the stories of your travels have prob made more then a few girls in here hit the door running.

So, a no go for halloween, sucks yes, but you can always think of it this way - leave it for the folks in the closet to enjoy, you have the other 364 days to be out.

[Andy66]

OMG, Kimberly. I just don't understand what is so terrible about going out dressed around Halloween. I hate to see you getting p**** whipped like this - it makes my head hurt. :(

[Rita B]

Aw Kim, It's just another party. Of course I can speak honestly and openly now that my wife has left me. Although in a way I'm sorry that the marriage did not work out, (nobody enjoys failure) it's been such a relief for me.

Hey wives will tolerate our little hobby as long as it suits them. I don't think that there is a spouse alive who does not feel threatened by it, regardless of what they say. For one thing they know what goes on in that feminine head of theirs and when we begin to express our "feminine" feelings it's almost like we are reading their minds.

Anyway, I am going to a couple of Halloween parties. I was thinking of going to one as a dominatrix but I gave up on that idea. Actually a Mother Superior would probably suit me better. I came across a web site that had wonderful costumes. They were custom made but it is really too late to do anything.

So, I will dress nice in keeping with the occasion and have a wonderful time, but I won't be going as any witch or bitch or anything like that. I came across some pics of a Halloween party a couple of years ago. I have to scan the pics and send them to you. One of my friends is a well known cosmetologist in the Boston area and she did up her SO in a fantastic witch makeup and costume.

As far as getting approval from our spouses, forget it. We are lucky if they tolerate us.

Rita

[rachel_rachel]

Even though we here in Australia don't do the whole halloween thing we are having a party at our cricket club on saturday night.... I'm NOT allowed to dress up either! The kids will be, i tried to find something but was told that i wasn't to do it, that was the end of that.

[skirtsuit]

Don't worry, Halloween for us CDs is like New Years and St. Patty's day is for heavy drinkers - amateur hour!

Besides, isn't one of the points of Halloween to 'get outside' youself and try to scare the kids?

All the Best,
Ann / SS

[vivian fair]

Well I'd love to have some place to go! Femme dressed or not. But as I have no one to say no I'll probally dress in one of my american indian princess outfits and pass out treats. This in keeping with my life history. Vivian Fair:brolleyes:

[kristinacd55]

Kim, I think you should skip Halloween altogether. You don't need it & the sour lemons :heehee:, and you dress enfemme all the time anyway & look great! :)

[Claire Cook]

Funny, I've never enjoyed Halloween, even as a kid. Guess I'd rather en femme "naturally" and not int he context of a costume.

[Raquel June]

I'm gonna be a brunette Tinkerbell, and anybody who doesn't like it can kiss my ass! :D

I don't see what this has to do with Halloween. If you're in a relationship where everyday you are confronted with major things that you know you will always hate about each other you have to ask yourself why you're still in that relationship.

This situation seems a bit ridiculous. Does everything have to be a difficult compromise that neither of you are happy with? Either go to the party or don't. Either dress as a woman or don't. What's the point in going to the party all femme but not wearing what you want to wear? If your femme side pisses her off shouldn't she be happy if you go edgy with it instead of wearing an everyday look and making it totally obvious that this is what you like to do and not just a joke for Halloween?



It just rubs my face in how my wife apparently really feels about me, and what I can and can't be, what I am and am not.

All of us get down sometimes and feel like the beauty, the success, the relationships, or the entire lives of others are rubbing our faces in what we will never be. I just cry a little bit and dump it all on my therapist the next week. Hang in there, Kim!

[SweetCaroline]

Sorry to hear about your frustration Kim.

Personally, I would probably avoid going to a mainstream costume party en femme unless I was 100 percent certain I was willing to out myself to whom ever was there. Have you ever seen men at costume parties who aren't usually crossdressers dress up? They look terrible. People like us on the other hand would do it so well, people would pretty much guess we've done it before. That, and I think we'd enjoy it way too much. Just my observations.

[Kolokea GG]

I'm sorry Kimberly...I hate Halloween because of this issue. Steph is going out as a femme vampire. My issue is to me its not a costume, I know the truth, and that's what makes it hard because no one else does. I want to be something funny, but can't find a costume that isn't sexy..We are not going to a party, we are going tick or treating with my son...he's going to be Boba Fett. This mean going to my parents..his parents..and his nanie's. I am scared of the reactions...questions..that's why I want a full face mask...my parent know when I am lieing....can't hide it..never have...since my mom is in hospice..I really don't want her to worry. Steph told me that with Halloween all bets were off and in essence I didn't have a say on what she was going to do...I would really like us all to be star wars theme..since this is the first Halloween no one has to work. Right now I think I'd rather work..then turn what is supposed to be a fun holiday to a stressful one. I hope you both can come to a compromise some how:hugs:

[Ronni Seymour]

Sorry to hear about your wife's negative feelings, Kim.
Even though my wife accepts/tolerates my dressing, sometime I feel like it still comes between us at times. This is mainly due to the fact that I would dress more often if I could. So, that desire to dress against my desire to please her often comes in conflict.
I can empathize with you, though.

[Blaire]

I think I recall something from not too long ago that you had posted about having some time off, so I'm going to be a bit of a jerk about this. Seems to be my week for it anyway.

Have you asked yourself lately where you stand on the all important issue of balance between your needs and your wife's needs? You both have them. Has there maybe been "too much Kim" lately? I'm sure at one point you both were fine with everything. Has your envelope maybe gotten bigger, and she's resenting that what used to be "us" time is becoming more "you" time?

[sherri]

I agree with the general sentiment of what other have said in this thread about counting your blessings, appreciating what you have and being attentive to your wife's needs. But on the other hand, who says that wives are the only ones who get to have their "moods"? Sometimes a jab can just hit us the wrong way too. After all, one of our CD traits is heightened sensitivity, which works both ways.

Knowing me, I'd probably just fume about the remark for a few days, but if I were more mature I should say something like, "Look honey, I know the idea of me dressing or getting 'naughty' on Halloween threatens you and I don't really have any intentions of putting you in that situation. I was just thinking out loud. But you should also know that your little jab cuts to the quick of who I really am, and it hurts. You may not love Kimberly, but I do."

[Sometimes Steffi]

Kim

I think that one of the most difficult things for a woman would be that everyone knows. Her friends know, her neighbors, know and her work colleagues know. And while they all know, they don't know the difference between homosexual, CD, TG, TS, etc., and even then, it might not make much difference. This is how it might sound, "Oh, my husband is not gay, he just likes to dress up in women's clothes."

That leads us to what I call the "Hillary (Clinton) Problem", as in "How can she stay married to him?"

Lastly, I think you can wear a women's costume on Halloween maybe once every 10 years. At one job, the cafeteria worked dressed in costumes for Halloween, and this one guy dressed up as a woman, but more like a parody, think Milton Berle or Bob Hope. Funny the first time. The next year he did it again. I couldn't have been the only one who noticed.

Your wife is so understanding the rest of the year. I can understand her concern about dressing as a woman for Halloween.

So, I have two suggestions.

You could always pretend that you are a woman disguised as a man (a la Shakespeare).

You could got to a Halloween party sponsored by a CD/TG group in Austin. That way you could have the fun of putting a Halloween costume together, yet wear it in a "safe" environment.

Or, you could dress as Capt Jack Sparrow. At least then you would get to wear eye liner.

Steffi

[Sara Jessica]

Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat. Halloween parties don't interest me much these days. I did the obligatory girl thing three years running back in college. These days, pretty much zero interest to the point where I'm going costume-less at a party next weekend.

And it's true, with the time we've put into achieving where we are in feminine presentation, we'd be a little tooooo good at it to not raise some eyebrows.

So for me, Halloween is all about the kids. I will enjoy the event with them.

[TxKimberly]

. . . Halloween is the perfect time for "anything goes" where you can wear whatever you want and nobody will care to judge. . .

And THAT is a significant part of my irritation about this. This is the one time of year where it's completely acceptable . . . except to my wife. lol



If Kimberly's life sucks then it's time for me quit crossdressing and go play more ice hockey.........

You know, I wonder if you could teach me how to skate on Ice Skates because taking my frustrations out on someone with a big stick is starting to sound kind of good to me. :-)



Kimberly, you have an extremely supportive spouse who has put up with a lot so that you can cross dress. Yes, there are some here who say that CDs should dress whenever and wherever they want, damn the consequences. But you seem like someone who cares about his wife and her feelings.

Why not surprise her and suggest a couple costume where *she's* the female one and you're her man--e.g. Romeo and Juliet.. . .

I agree with your implied statement that it is NOT reasonable to take the attitude that I should be able to wear what ever I want, where ever I want. In my opinion, that attitude fails to account for a whole lot of reality. But on Halloween . . . ?
Your suggestion about next years costumes is a good one . . . to please my wife . . . LOL




I really dont know what to say Kim, maybe she just got the totally wrong impression about your costume or something..

So what exactly what did you want to wear??

:hugs:

It never got as far as choosing an outfit. As soon as the very concept came up I was nuked. Not disuaded, not talked out of it, not even smacked - NUKED. ROFL




Just returned from a halloween party and there were a a few guys dressed as women . . .

The party I went to had two "guys dressed as girls" and one TS woman in a killer Victorian gown.


. . . So, a no go for halloween, sucks yes, but you can always think of it this way - leave it for the folks in the closet to enjoy, you have the other 364 days to be out.

Excellent point and I fully agree I am being petulant and really need to pull my head outta my ass, but still, we are talking about feelings here and they are rarely logical. :)



OMG, Kimberly. I just don't understand what is so terrible about going out dressed around Halloween. I hate to see you getting p**** whipped like this - it makes my head hurt. :(

OMG Anne, I almost spewed my coffee across my laptop when I read your comment. After more than a decade active duty Army, this comment appeals to me on SO many levels. It's concise, blunt, to the point, and leaves absolutely no ambiguity as to the thoughts of the author. Bless you for smile and the B***h slap.



Don't worry, Halloween for us CDs is like New Years and St. Patty's day is for heavy drinkers - amateur hour!. . .

Killer analogy. Hold on - gotta wipe the coffee off of my monitor again . . .




. . .
I don't see what this has to do with Halloween. If you're in a relationship where everyday you are confronted with major things that you know you will always hate about each other you have to ask yourself why you're still in that relationship.

This situation seems a bit ridiculous. Does everything have to be a difficult compromise that neither of you are happy with? . . .

Raquel, not to try and twist my sorry and childish post concerning Halloween into a discussion on the meaning of life, but . . . It seems to me that both of your above points come close to defining a few important points about a marriage. In a marriage, you often DO have to constantly make compromises and accept things you don't like about each other. I could list countless examples and even started to do so before I decided it was gonna be too huge and too personal. If your single, you are free to say "Damn the torpedoes!" etc, but when your married and have children, you MUST make compromises or you will not remain married.




...I hate Halloween because of this issue. . .

Awe Kolokea, it sounds like we both have the same problem, for much the same reasons, just from opposite sides of it. Oddly enough that makes me feel a little better and a Little worse at the same time. Yeah, I know that doesn't make any sense, but still . . .

[Prissy Linda]

Kimberly

I can relate to your feelings about not being able to dress for Halloween, It's the only time we can dress and be ourselves in front of people we know. As you stated in another thread that people still look look at you "sideways" since the last time you dressed up for Halloween because you pulled of the illusion of being a woman so convincingly and i'm sure you were the prettiest woman there, IMO. Maybe you are ready to come out a bit more with Kimberly but your wife isn't, I'm thinking that she is feeling protective of your reputation which does reflect somewhat on her and your children.

As far as acting like a "spoiled brat" goes, I feel the same resentment to my wife's comment that she prefers I not go as Linda since she received several comments on how easy it was for me to dress and act like a woman. I had a few comments thrown my way also but I rather liked it. My wife has for the most part accepted and supported this feminine aspect of my life but doesn't want it known to our friends and children.

From the pictures i've seen of you and the numerous threads i've read I know that you would never go out presenting yourself as a "guy in a dress" , oh no no no. Ms. Kimberly will be dressed to the nines and be a Lady.

I admire you Kimberly, I can relate to the funk you are in.

Linda

[Lorileah]

I have agreed with that sentiment for years. For one reason more than anything, I call it amateur night. It's when the guys come out who really try and make CD's look bad, they get drunk (and drive which scares me) and they become total a-holes which then reflects on all the others around them. I love the season. I used to get really excited and anxious knowing that this was the year I would be able to show the world! I was the one who backed out. I would give myself a little consolation prize of being Robin Hood in tights or a Roman in a short toga and I usually had great comments. My wife supported these.

This year I find myself in the same bind. I dress and go out as I please now. But I was invited to a party. My best friend and golfing buddy who (yes I know I'm a hypocrite) I have not fully come out to (It took him 5 years to notice my ears are pierced). Anyway, I am invited to his place for a party but the veiled warning was made in the call.."there will be children there". So here I am again. Should be the best time of year. Dress up, be sexy, be me. And I don't know what to wear (if it was adults only...no problem even though my clothing would not be out of line in everyday evening wear) but he specifically warned me there would be children and of course my old stereotypical fear kicks in. What if they think I am a perv? First do I go? and if I go what can I wear? Makes staying home seem easy.

[Ashlee]

Sorry to hear about not being able to go out en femme to a party. Look at it this way....You are extremely blessed to be able to do what you do, have a supporting spouse and dress up as often and experience life the way you do. Look at it as a day off.

As I said, you're lucky, a lot on the forum here are and I'm envious as heck. I've only been out en femme in a public setting (except for the makeovers when I go out to have my pic taken in full view of the public) once, at a Halloween party 2 years ago. The outing went very well but the missus expressed her displeasure at seeing her man all dressed up totally and sadly Ashlee can only come out in private now.

I wish I had your life experiences.

[Kitty Sue]

Kimberly, you have an extremely supportive spouse who has put up with a lot so that you can cross dress. Yes, there are some here who say that CDs should dress whenever and wherever they want, damn the consequences. But you seem like someone who cares about his wife and her feelings.

Why not surprise her and suggest a couple costume where *she's* the female one and you're her man--e.g. Romeo and Juliet. I'll bet it would mean a lot to her. Sure, it's less fun than being a girl, but you might be surprised at how much joy you'd get from making her happy. (If she's neutral on the idea, you can just drop it..)

I think this is a great idea. It is not only the CDer who has a lot to deal with, but the partners too. I have to remember that although Halloween can be a great time for me to dress, sometimes my partner may want to play a more than supporting role to my desires.

[mklinden2010]

K,

Something about all this doesn't add up to a happy family or a happy future if things continue like this.

You're traveling as a woman, posting youtube videos singing your own work as a woman, commenting on these pages daily, raising children in the same home... How long before you're outed in a big way and that's that?

And, your wife knows about all, or, for all intents and purposes, most of the important parts of who you are and what you do - as far as anyone else she's worried about will be concerned.

I'll say one thing for my SOs all my life: If I was doing something, it was me doing it, not them. If other people thought I was odd, they'd say:

"Yeah, that's him. Personally, I don't see it that way, but I like 'em and love 'em along with that... It's just part of the package, you know."

Halloween can be a very useful tool for both you and your wife. Get the idea out there now so that later people can say:

"Well... You know... He did have a great costume at that Halloween party and it went over really well... I guess we know now why it was so good... Whewie. Well, if that's what he wants to do I guess it's OK; didn't do any harm then and can't see, considering they're pretty good folks, any harm now. God bless his wife for putting up with it. Hellva hobby, or, whatever it is."

Of course, I think you know you're annoyed because you get a sense of how much you'd enjoy running Kim past everybody and how it fits more with the "real you" than the "fake you" you have to show everyone for the sake of "the rules." It'd be a break from following the rules and it would be nice to be honest in a completely socially acceptable way.

Which, in reality, is a big part of what such days on the calendar were/are for... Letting off some social steam, relating in different ways in a safe environment, and so forth. The church "holy days or feast days," for example, were always partly designed for such public "misbehavior" because they weren't "normal" days and the rules (and, "punishments") were relaxed/suspended for that short period of time. The original, "What goes on at Mardi Gras, stays at Mardi Gras..."

Your situation sounds like a few bridges I have had to cross carrying my SO on my back. I've just had to say:

"OK, here's how the logic of all this works: there's no way to so easily present this except at such events. This is safe, it's acceptable, and whatever eyebrows get raised, it's done in such a way that they can draw their own conclusions, make their own peace, and all our lives can go on without it being such a big deal."

This is an opportunity for both of you to test the waters for what is to come. You get to be more of yourself, she gets to see if her fears and concerns make any real sense. It's your lives, and your lives to manage. It's up to couples to work out their lives within the community. This is a way for you both to make some room to work in... And, it's better done now than before you really need some breathing space - as in "your big secret lives" get outed by "accident" at some random point in time.

Sorry to hear about the conflict. I'm not sure this is so much how she feels about you as she feels about the situation she thinks you both might be in vis a vis what everyone else thinks.

She knows you dress, etc, and you are still together and living your lives fairly happily. Her view of you couldn't be all that bad...

You meanwhile, may be thinking of doing more and more as Kim... If so she needs to know it when you do.

Either way, it would be better to float these issues safely now before it becomes the "cause" of a break up - where everyone assumes it's because you were CD/TG or whatever.

That's not going to be the reason. The reason would be more like you both felt you'd do better pursuing your lives apart than together. No blame there, just two smart people working out a better arrangement.

[shayleetv]

Sometimes I think the same way Kim about hating Halloween. After my wife and I were married but before she knew about Shaylee I crossedressed two times as a girl for Halloween. Once it was her idea and the second by my request. My wife was even enthusiastic about both times. But now that she knows and supports, Shaylee's dressing in any public way is a big NO NO. Go figure! She did say to me one time when I talked about wanting to dress up for a halloween party, she said I was too good and that people would talk. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, so I comply to her wishes so I can dress, even if it's just around the house. That I can do anytime I want.

[Sally24]

I'm so sorry this is a sticking point for you two. Halloween has always been MY holiday. I organize a haunt with the Boy Scouts and go to any costume party I can find.

Now that Sally is available I always go to 1 or 2 TG parties with the other girls. Now if I decided to go to a local party with friends, I don't know how my wife would react. We are slowly telling friends and family but letting a whole group in at the same time might be a little much. It would be hard to not "do it up right" and appear much too good.

I really don't know what the answer is but "Ewwwwww" is not it!

[sherri]

Kim

I think that one of the most difficult things for a woman would be that everyone knows. Her friends know, her neighbors, know and her work colleagues know. And while they all know, they don't know the difference between homosexual, CD, TG, TS, etc., and even then, it might not make much difference. This is how it might sound, "Oh, my husband is not gay, he just likes to dress up in women's clothes."I don't see this issue brought up enough in this forum, but I think this is a huge concern not only for SOs, but also for anyone of any consequence in our lives -- kids, friends, co-workers. But for wives in particular, our behavior reflects on them personally in such a major way, it becomes an identity issue for them too. And I don't think it's just a matter of questions about sexual orientation -- "crossdressing pervert" is damning enough in many people's minds.


That leads us to what I call the "Hillary (Clinton) Problem", as in "How can she stay married to him?" ... Lastly, I think you can wear a women's costume on Halloween maybe once every 10 years.


Have you ever seen men at costume parties who aren't usually crossdressers dress up? They look terrible. People like us on the other hand would do it so well, people would pretty much guess we've done it before. That, and I think we'd enjoy it way too much.
All these observations are so dead on, I think. And they really point to the heart of the matter -- it's only natural to feel resentful toward a particular person of influence in our lives when he or she puts the brakes on, but they're really just the personification, or voice, of the real problem. What's really chafing us is the common sense that dictates that unless we're willing to come out all the way and accept the consequences not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones, we have to accept limits that are frustrating, especially when it comes to being too obvious too close to home.


Something about all this doesn't add up to a happy family or a happy future if things continue like this ... You're traveling as a woman, posting youtube videos singing your own work as a woman, commenting on these pages daily, raising children in the same home... How long before you're outed in a big way and that's that? Like so many people in this forum, I've grown so fond of Kim for her spirit and for sharing her exploits. I know she is an inspiration for many of us. But I've had the exact same concern you're expressing here -- such openness is gonna get her busted one of these days. I'm really kind of surprised her employer hasn't gotten wind of it yet.


"Yeah, that's him. Personally, I don't see it that way, but I like 'em and love 'em along with that... It's just part of the package, you know." ... Get the idea out there now so that later people can say:

"Well... You know... He did have a great costume at that Halloween party and it went over really well... I guess we know now why it was so good... Whewie. Well, if that's what he wants to do I guess it's OK; didn't do any harm then and can't see, considering they're pretty good folks, any harm now. God bless his wife for putting up with it. Hellva hobby, or, whatever it is." Hmmm, there may be some people whose reaction would be that sanguine, but I think you're underestimating how vehemently many people would react. The mainstream stigma would be huge, or at least it would where I live. I've sort of been lecturing myself about that very thing lately.

[TSchapes]

I know what you mean. I too have an "understanding" wife to a point, just finding that point is tough!

For example, I was able to go out to a Halloween party by myself last Friday (I asked if she wanted to go and she said no), I went as Elvira and had a blast. There were about 100 people there and around 20 people from work. Most of them know I'm a CD.

A number of them begged me to show up at work this coming Friday for the companies' Halloween festivities as Elvira. We have a costume contest and other fun things that day. When I brought that up to her, she was like, "Oh no, not at work!" This is after more than 60 people at work know I'm a cross-dresser and I'm an active member of the LGBT group and participate in diversity sessions there. Huh?

Now, I'm in a position of: Do I practice what I preach, or not, because she doesn't feel good about it? When is how she feels a reasonable request? Please don't answer this one it's just a rhetorical question. This is something we will have to work out. Wish me luck!

Love, Tracy :hugs:

[Glenda58]

Kim don't worry about Halloween. You get to dress in cute cloths most of the year anyway. Not just one day like some of the others who want to do all the time.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I don't see this issue brought up enough in this forum, but I think this is a huge concern not only for SOs, but also for anyone of any consequence in our lives -- kids, friends, co-workers. But for wives in particular, our behavior reflects on them personally in such a major way, it becomes an identity issue for them too. And I don't think it's just a matter of questions about sexual orientation -- "crossdressing pervert" is damning enough in many people's minds.


Sherri

You brought up a huge question of kids.

Naturally, attending a Halloween party where someone is crossdressed will lead to talk after the party. Their children may hear it, and tell some other children, who tell some other children... Like anything else that violates norms, the next thing is you know is that other children taunt your children, "Your daddy wears dresses, your daddy wears dresses..."

How do you get out of that mess?

Steffi

[Rachel Morley]

I don't really have anything much to say other that I totally agree with you and I feel a little sad for you. :sad:

It sounds like your wife has some concerns about people that she knows knowing about your CDing, and that's fair enough and completely understandable, but this is different. It's Halloween, people aren't "going to put 2 & 2 together and come up with 4" ...... but then again you would look awesome in a cute costume, and they might suspect that you're "too good" and that maybe you've done this before but then again if they did you wife could say she helped you look better, even stil,l I do think that it's a bit unfair for you to not be able to dress pretty at a costume party ... especially when there are other GMs doing the same.

[Andy66]

OMG Anne, I almost spewed my coffee across my laptop when I read your comment. After more than a decade active duty Army, this comment appeals to me on SO many levels.
I'm glad I didn't offend you. I can be blunt. :)

[deja true]

I have agreed with that sentiment for years. For one reason more than anything, I call it amateur night. It's when the guys come out who really try and make CD's look bad, they get drunk (and drive which scares me) and they become total a-holes which then reflects on all the others around them.

I gotta agree with the charming Lorileah on this particular point.

I avoid dressing entirely for Hallowe'en parties. Unless you're at a TG party, the dolts who do dress at Halloween parties almost always look like idiots and act like boors. Their burlesqued (meaning satirical, demeaning and derisive) representations of women more often than not offend me deeply. It's usually a misogynistic, insulting performance. And their SO's probably don't like it either.

I may be a little too sensitive about this, but too bad, that's how I feel. When I dress, I want it to be artful, sensitive and appreciated, not laughed at, or have to try to prove my maleness by acting a fool.

I'd never advise closeted folks to dress femme at Hallowe'en. You won't feel comfortable at a "straight" gathering, unless you really want your acquaintances to wonder about you for the rest of the year, unless you really want those pictures floating around on their facebook pages for eternity, unless you really want to make your wives and SO's uncomfortable, unless you really want to lose a bit of respect in the eyes of your friends (especially female friends).

It's a good bet that we're all gonna be outted eventually. I think it's important for our own security and peace of mind to be able to at least try and control the time and place.

Just sayin'!

:straightface:

[FluffyPersian]

Have you asked yourself lately where you stand on the all important issue of balance between your needs and your wife's needs? You both have them. Has there maybe been "too much Kim" lately? I'm sure at one point you both were fine with everything. Has your envelope maybe gotten bigger, and she's resenting that what used to be "us" time is becoming more "you" time?



All these observations are so dead on, I think. And they really point to the heart of the matter -- it's only natural to feel resentful toward a particular person of influence in our lives when he or she puts the brakes on, but they're really just the personification, or voice, of the real problem. What's really chafing us is the common sense that dictates that unless we're willing to come out all the way and accept the consequences not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones, we have to accept limits that are frustrating, especially when it comes to being too obvious too close to home.



Blaire and Sherri stated it far better than I did.

[jazmine]

Yeah....I hear ya.....I'm picking up what your putting down. Ya know...... I thought halloween was supposed to be fun for everyone, because it gave them one night to be whatever their little hearts desired.

[sherri52]

Kimberly you get your fun when you travel. Give this one to your wife. The rewards may be worth it(even if you would rather be a women).

[kellycan27]

If it ain't broke.. don't fix it!

[Lorileah]

balancing needs. Why does that always assume it is the CD as the the one taking advantage? If you read Kim's posts you will see that she gives a lot to her family.

I know that many many of the whiners on here want it all. But some of us do try and keep things balanced. Sort of getting tired of the blame game. There are times, and probably more often than this forum recognizes, when the SO is the one who demands total control.

Unless Kim has become a total opposite clone of herself, she has been considering her SO's needs and has worked to balance them.

[Maria in heels]

Kimberly,

I do understand your situation, as my wife each year says that I can dress as Maria..this year, I told her it is going to be a frilly maids outfit including petticoat black or pink her choice...its next weekend and suddenly I have no answer from her...looks like I may just be like you and spend this year in drab...

stay smiling...

Maria

[Rachel_Red]

Its ok I haven't been a fan of holloween for a while. For me though its all the gore infested movies... I dunno not my thing, I get sick of seeing comercials for Saw 1,250!!!

[Karen564]

It never got as far as choosing an outfit. As soon as the very concept came up I was nuked. Not disuaded, not talked out of it, not even smacked - NUKED. ROFL

I'm understanding where your comming from now, & I can appreciate how you feel..kinda leaves a bad taste in ones mouth after that..

It's so hard to handle this emotionally when your cut off at the pass, or shot down before you even left the starting gate.. It's a huge blow, and now you probably want to know exactly where this sudden attitude change came from, & asking yourself if she always had some problem with this along, and it's now just comming out?? It does make one wonder right??

You know what you need to do, your very caring person with a good head on your shoulders, (& a very pretty one at that) and it sounds like maybe it's time for you & her to have a nice heart to heart talk as a loving man & wife should do to get the air cleared, (Unless you've already done that)

As your also very much aware of, life & marriages is full of ups & downs, twist & turns with some bumps requiring some compromises along the way, and how we all ever get through that without totally breaking down or getting lost along the way truly amazes me at times, but we do get through all of it regardless..
But the truth is, it really is easier to just stop & ask for directions before you run out of gas..LOL :)

Kim,
All the best to you babe..:hugs:
I'm hoping it's just a little bump in the road & nothing serious..

:love:

[sissystephanie]

Sorry, Kimberly. That is a situation which certainly could generate your feelings about Halloween!

I have only been to one Halloween costume party in my long life! Unfortunately, our costumes were chosen for us by the people giving the party. My late wife and I went as as two old time convicts, complete with back and white striped pants and tops. We both also had shackles (made of plastic foam) and carried big black iron balls(also made of foam) in our hands. We did at least win a prize for best costume! ($100.00!) That made it worthwhile! BTW, my dear wife made the costumes herself! Except for the shackles and iron balls, which I made!

But my dear wife did pay me a compliment. She told me that she wished we could have gone as two girls because I was so cute in a dress!!! At least in her opinion!:love:

[Jonianne]

.......we are talking about feelings here and they are rarely logical. :).......

Yes, feelings just are. And where better to vent them, but here.

I didn't hear Kim say she was going to violate the boundry her wife feels necessary, just expressing some frustration on an issue that hasn't been worked out positively for both. We don't always get what we want all the time and it's OK to feel bad about it.

[kimmy p]

Kim, I like you. Your stories are wonderful to read, and you look like a dream. So saying I fell that I need to say this (in a loving, caring way though). It's time to stop yore bitching and put on your big girl panties! Listen, I'm sorry that your wife doesn't want you to wear a ladies Halloween costume, but the fact is you have more freedom than just about anyone else on this forum. You travel en-femme. You dine out, go to shows, heck you get to do almost anything you want to dressed. And you look good doing it. Fact is I'm jealous. I wish that I could go out just once looking like you and hit a live show or something. But that's where my wife draws the line. I need to be discrete about my tastes. Halloween is the only time I go outside dressed. If dressing in a ladies costume is so important to you then make sure that you're out of town next Halloween. I'm not trying to be mean, but count your blessings for what you have, and don't begrudge what you don't have (yet) so much.

With respect,
Kimmy

[Alice Torn]

As a kid, and teen, I loved Holloween, and the mischief i could get into! But, later in life, i learned a lot about the origins of it- very creepy! Unfortunately, it is the only time a cd can walk the sidewalks and stores dolled up, and not get jeered much. Other than that, I no longer have any use for Holloween. It is the only time some of us can go out, with little unwanted attention! I am single, and now understand some, how much work it takes for you marrieds. Singleness is terribly lonely, but marriage demands great compromise, and patience, self-denial, daily.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Well, that sums it up - I'm growing to hate Halloween.
I just returned from a Halloween party thrown by a co-worker. There were many wonderful and fun people there and I had a reasonably nice time I suppose. The thing is, so many women were wearing cute and adorable costumes, and yes, more than one or two were sexy as well.
Yup, I think Halloween sucks . . .

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1849873&postcount=1

Yup, Halloween sucks....which sucks because it was for many years my favorite holiday, but now the TG thing has to mess it up a little.


I actually don't encourage people to do Halloween en femme, though I'm not opposed to it either. I think it's something that needs to be thought about seriously, because "experimentation changes you". It did me. I did an en femme Halloween in 2001, haven't done it since, in part because it feels like I'm being dishonest in a way.

"Ha ha, I'm transgendered/TS who hasn't started transitioning, and you can't say anything because it's Halloween!"

If you read my post you'll see where I picked up my late mother from the "sheltered workshop" where she worked. Several of the staff members saw me and made a big fuss.

Well....now I recently got hired to work at that very same place as staff and during my training a few weeks back one of the other staff members brought that Halloween up. She still remembered and commented on it in a way that was a bit nosy and implying she thought she had some idea of what was going on behind the scenes. My sister has mentioned that this same person has brought it up before.... "Remember that year when your brother dressed as a woman, and he did his own makeup" yadda yadda yadda.

That worries me a bit, even though I do want to transition so I'm going to come out anyway in due time.

So I can understand your wifes trepidation. Crossdressing well, gets remembered and noticed.

But that doesn't mean I don't want to wear a women's costume...coz I do. I just can't bring myself to do it because of the "honesty" thing on my part. This year I'm working Saturday so the choice was put off....but I wanted to.



Its sucky to hear that. Sorry about that Kim.
But look at the bright side, you get to do a lot, stuff that other girls on here only wish of doing.

Indeed, Kim is a role model to me too.



So, a no go for halloween, sucks yes, but you can always think of it this way - leave it for the folks in the closet to enjoy, you have the other 364 days to be out.


Don't worry, Halloween for us CDs is like New Years and St. Patty's day is for heavy drinkers - amateur hour!

Yup.



Does everything have to be a difficult compromise that neither of you are happy with?

Sometimes, yes, I think. Especially for the transfolk I call "Protos" One way of putting it is that "Protos" are Transsexuals who call themselves crossdressers, not by mindset or nature, but by a choice that they'd have rather not made.



All of us get down sometimes and feel like the beauty, the success, the relationships, or the entire lives of others are rubbing our faces in what we will never be. Hang in there, Kim!

Yup.



Has there maybe been "too much Kim" lately? I'm sure at one point you both were fine with everything. Has your envelope maybe gotten bigger, and she's resenting that what used to be "us" time is becoming more "you" time?

That could be.



And it's true, with the time we've put into achieving where we are in feminine presentation, we'd be a little tooooo good at it to not raise some eyebrows.

Yes, indeed.



So for me, Halloween is all about the kids. I will enjoy the event with them.

Yes, I've tried to focus on enjoying the joy of the kids (and their parents) that come to the door for the candy.


You're traveling as a woman, posting youtube videos singing your own work as a woman,.......

Of course, I think you know you're annoyed because you get a sense of how much you'd enjoy running Kim past everybody and how it fits more with the "real you" than the "fake you" you have to show everyone for the sake of "the rules." It'd be a break from following the rules and it would be nice to be honest in a completely socially acceptable way.

This is an opportunity for both of you to test the waters for what is to come. You get to be more of yourself, she gets to see if her fears and concerns make any real sense.
You meanwhile, may be thinking of doing more and more as Kim... If so she needs to know it when you do.

Either way, it would be better to float these issues safely now before it becomes the "cause" of a break up - where everyone assumes it's because you were CD/TG or whatever.


Hmmm, this is insightful and I think we both are thinking the similar things.


I'd never advise closeted folks to dress femme at Hallowe'en. You won't feel comfortable at a "straight" gathering, unless you really want your acquaintances to wonder about you for the rest of the year, unless you really want those pictures floating around on their facebook pages for eternity, unless you really want to make your wives and SO's uncomfortable, unless you really want to lose a bit of respect in the eyes of your friends (especially female friends).

This is also insightful.

Veronica Rogers

[TxKimberly]

Yes, feelings just are. And where better to vent them, but here.

I didn't hear Kim say she was going to violate the boundry her wife feels necessary, just expressing some frustration on an issue that hasn't been worked out positively for both. We don't always get what we want all the time and it's OK to feel bad about it.

You know, I couldn't possibly say it any better than that Joni, so I'll just quote you and say "Yeah, what she said!" lol

My marriage is in no danger folks, so don't worry about that. I love her, she loves me, I was just mad and disappointed and was indeed venting here.

[Niya W]

Hmm what would of happened if you just got dressed en fem and surprised the wife that way ?

[Miranda09]

You know, I couldn't possibly say it any better than that Joni, so I'll just quote you and say "Yeah, what she said!" lol

My marriage is in no danger folks, so don't worry about that. I love her, she loves me, I was just mad and disappointed and was indeed venting here.

Better to vent here Kimberly than with your wife. That wouldn't accomplish anything and I know you love her too much to hurt her that way.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Its a great family time. Great neighborhood event.

To see the parents out with their children going up and down the streets, the little ones out in a cute costume, a little shy to open the bag for candy, its a great time and its all for the kids. :devil:



My only complaint is the the malls have ruined it now that they hand out cheap stuff to a parade of kids who have no idea how much fun it is to go Trick or Treating.

[Karen564]

My marriage is in no danger folks, so don't worry about that. I love her, she loves me, I was just mad and disappointed and was indeed venting here.

Thank god for that!!!, My prayers must of really worked then..LOL..


Venting is good!!

Retail therapy is even better..LOL..:thumbsup:

:love:

[FluffyPersian]

Hmm what would of happened if you just got dressed en fem and surprised the wife that way ?

I'm not sure what the result would be, but it definitely wouldn't be pleasant for either of them.

[Sammy777]

Personally, I would probably avoid going to a mainstream costume party en femme unless I was 100 percent certain I was willing to out myself to whom ever was there.

Have you ever seen men at costume parties who aren't usually crossdressers dress up? They look terrible.

People like us on the other hand would do it so well, people would pretty much guess we've done it before.

That, and I think we'd enjoy it way too much. Just my observations.

I don't think that is really true.
I was at a pretty big bar party and no one ever brought up that subject.
I got some whys from a few of the people I knew/saw there.
And I just responded, just because.

I wasn't a guy playing a girl [as in just dressed as a girl], I was in a girl's costume and while I didnt look my best I was still far better then the frat guy in a bad dress n wig look, lol.

And yes I did enjoy it and myself a lot that night.
I also didnt get so much as one joke or comment about it afterwards.

Besides - the better then average makeup and look can always be "blamed" on the girlfriend, wife, SO, whatever.

The well worn heels are a different story, :lol2:

[TxKimberly]

Originally Posted by niya blake View Post
Hmm what would of happened if you just got dressed en fem and surprised the wife that way ?


I'm not sure what the result would be, but it definitely wouldn't be pleasant for either of them.

Yup, Fluffy got that one right. There ARE times in a relationship or marriage when you are justified in standing your ground, even if it results in pissing off your spouse - this wouldn't be it.
You save those for important things like taking care of the children, home, cars, etc. A reasonably intelligent person that loves their spouse and wishes to remain happily married, doesn't start a major confrontation over a minor thing like this.
Now if my wife ever stomps her foot and tells me that she will no longer accept my cross dressing at all, even when it's done far from home, THEN we will begin facing off, digging fox holes, and setting up the concertina wire.

[LisaM]

Kimberly,

I understand completely how you feel. I went to a costume party a few nights ago a I thought I looked great.

The next day my SO asked me about the party and I told her it was fun and I thought I looked good. I sheepishly said I should wear the same outfit to a non-TG Halloween party next weekend and she immediately went cold. She eventually looked at me and said an emphatic, NO.

I asked if she wanted to see a picture of me and I received another emphatic, NO. So I understand how you feel. I get extremely depressed and anxious sometimes at parties when I see other women dressed so beautifully and socializing so naturally. I haved learned that I need help to control both depression and anxiety.

[TGMarla]

Here's the thing for me: I don't want to dress up as a woman for Halloween, no matter how cute the outfit, because to me, this is not a cosutme. This is not a masquerade. This is an outward manifestation of something deep within myself that I dearly wish was real for me.

I did the en femme thing for Halloween once, and I did it real well....probably too well, like most of us here. I'm sure people talked. "Dang, he sure did look pretty, eh? Maybe he does this all the time!" So I try to keep Halloween spooky. I like the goblins and the ghosts, the witches and the zombies, stuff like that. Marla isn't real scary. In fact, she's kinda pretty. So it doesn't jive for Halloween for me.

And my wife, who is aware that I crossdress, isn't real thrilled with the idea in the first place. Were I to "Marla up" for Halloween, it would be the thinnest disguise and the most obvious of excuses possible to her. Whether she is right or not, my crossdressing makes her uncomfortable, and therefore, I do not put it in her face, much as I'd like it to be more out in the open.

But really, the bottom line for me is that Halloween is all about scary stuff and spooks, and Marla is not a costume, not scary, and not spooky. Marla is far too real to treat her as though she was nothing more than a disguise.

But hey....that's just me.

Boo!

[joank]

Yes Kim,
I have had the same issue since I came out to my SO many years ago. In addition, I continue to have other events crowd on this day, example, best friend wants to go fishing on Friday and that stops going out to get pedicure or the store dressed cause it will pull too much time. I have not ever gone out 'dressed' , ever. Oh well.

[Raquel June]

Raquel, not to try and twist my sorry and childish post concerning Halloween into a discussion on the meaning of life, but . . . It seems to me that both of your above points come close to defining a few important points about a marriage. In a marriage, you often DO have to constantly make compromises and accept things you don't like about each other. I could list countless examples and even started to do so before I decided it was gonna be too huge and too personal. If your single, you are free to say "Damn the torpedoes!" etc, but when your married and have children, you MUST make compromises or you will not remain married.

A compromise is not having to have your way everyday over what's for dinner or what movie to see. Sure, there are a lot more serious compromises concerning putting other people first and not doing what you would've wanted to do at a certain time in your life. But then there are big things which are asinine to compromise over. If one of you is an atheist and the other holds intelligent design seminars it's stupid for you to try to compromise every day of your lives. One partner becomes dominant and the other partner has to keep major parts of their life hidden. That's not compromise. That's two people who resent each other and one is trying to appease the other.

Sure, a lot of relationships fall apart because nobody puts any effort into it. The standard "I don't love you anymore" usually really means "I care a lot more about myself than you." It's a fact that arranged marriages are just as likely to succeed as other marriages because any two reasonable people have a decent change of making things work. But it's a bizarre philosophy to hold up the sanctity of marriage above either of your happiness. If you can list countless examples of things you don't like about each other that you have to constantly compromise about, that's a very bad sign.

I only bring this up because nobody else is. Most people think either that you should count your blessings and continue to let her keep you down or that you should stand up for yourself more and make her more miserable. Neither one of those is a good long-term solution.

I try not to think of what I could've done better in life. I try not to sit around whining about what went wrong and what I would've done differently. I try not to have any regrets. You know, everything is a learning experience and all that nonsense. But when I look back at my life the one regret I can't shake is the amount of time I spent in a bad relationship. I was with a woman for 12 years who was wonderful. She's was (well, is actually) a very caring, very giving, very beautiful person. But the relationship was terrible. I was depressed. She was depressed. It wasn't anything about crossdressing -- that was back when I felt completely damaged because of my gender issues and wouldn't ever tell anyone. But I felt trapped and we both wanted me to act manly and it was terrible. She started to break down and said horrible things about me, told me I was ugly, made fun of my receding hairline, and cheated on me repeatedly. I wish I'd had the strength to end it 10 years sooner. Now I'm with a woman who totally loves me and actually encourages me to be myself. She truly makes me feel beautiful. I'm actually happy because I'm being myself, and she's happy because she loves the real me and thinks she's lucky to have me. I can't believe how low my self-esteem was that I thought I needed to put up with the abuse I got before. And today I'm friends with my ex, but both of us still shake our heads and say, "What were we thinking making each other miserable for so long?"

Just because a relationship seemed good before either of you had any idea who the other actually was inside doesn't necessarily mean there's anything left to salvage after years of it sucking.

I'm not telling you to do anything. I just wanted to relate my feelings. I feel bad, and I hope you're not living in fear of being yourself. I hope you're not like I was -- living in fear of what life would be like without someone who treats you badly. I hope you get the happiness and acceptance and love you deserve.

If I had kids with an unsupportive woman I probably would've stayed in the relationship until they were 18. But would that be justified? Obviously the most important thing is providing a good environment for your children, but kids know when mommy and daddy are miserable even if you try to hide it.




Sometimes, yes, I think. Especially for the transfolk I call "Protos" One way of putting it is that "Protos" are Transsexuals who call themselves crossdressers, not by mindset or nature, but by a choice that they'd have rather not made.

Don't wanna get too OT, and this is likely not something you're going to get a lot of agreement on in the main section, but I agree totally. If I were still trapped in a bad relationship I would probably still be playing the "I'm a crossdresser and I like being a guy" game, even though 100% of the time I'm in guy mode it's a choice I would prefer not to have to make and more because of my own fear.

[SuzanneBender]

If Kimberly's life sucks then it's time for me quit crossdressing and go play more ice hockey.........

Oh no you don't Karren. You are so much cuter in pink than in pads!:heehee:

[suchacutie]

Kimberly, I very much admire all you have accomplished as your feminine self, and I'm so sorry to hear that you and your wife have any disconnect at all about the whole nature of that feminine self. When you said that this was an emotional issue, I sat here nodding my head!

When I started this exploration of Tina, it was calm, almost theoretical. The more I learn about her the more emotional it becomes. I really want to know all I can about her. This weekend we were planning a long day for Tina, and with one thing and another it didn't work out. Tina hasn't been around much lately and I was sooo looking forward to some serious Tina time! The emotional letdown was almost scary! Yet, the reasons all revolved around some time with my wife, and it didn't take more than a few minutes to realize what the priorities are. As disappointed as I was, I was, as always, delighted to spend time with my wife as her husband!

So, yes, I'm amazed at the emotions our feminine selves generate, and especially amazed at the emotional letdown of an expectation of being en femme that doesn't happen. Please put that emotion aside before having that talk with your wife that you know you need to have about the issue and the emotions involved. She clearly has some concerns that haven't surfaced til now, and I do imagine you want to get them out in the open so they can be resolved.

Hang in there Kimberly! You really do inspire all of us who are trying to figure out our feminine selves and how they can fit into this strange world around us!

Tina

[Alana Lucerne]

From my point of view, Halloween is a time to dress up in a costume. It seems to me, Kimberly, that when you are dressed as a woman you are not wearing a costume. Costumes are jokes (man in a dress) or symbolic (witches and goblins and such) but they are not meant to be what you are. I think you wife may be doing you a favour by unconciously (perhaps) indicating that your dressing as a woman on Halloween makes a joke of it. It isn't a joke, it's the way you really are. So, this halloween, make a joke of it. Wear some technogeek stuff and go as a nerd..... oops, I hope you aren't really a technogeek! you don't have a pocket protecter do you?

[DaphneGrey]

This year I am going as Abby from NCIS my wife's Idea and my two boys are having fun with the whole thing. That is what Halloween is all about after all. It is about having having fun, perhaps making people laugh. I have other outlets to express my gender. If she didn't suggest I be abby I would have just as happily been a Pirate. The thing is all four of us will be together and having fun!

The other thing I wanted say was Halloween is not a crossdressing national holiday, its about kids candy and family fun.

Not to give you a hard time Kimberly I know how those slights can feel, I have gotten many over the years so vent away.

[Philipa Jane]

Hi Kim
I was very surprised when I read the first post on Halloween.
I like many others have come to enjoy your sometimes wry humour and was disappointed that you spat the dummy in the dirt and had a dig at your loving wife.
(Spit the dummy is Aussie for a tantrum)
It was so unlike “The Golden Girl” image I had of you.
Fortunately my faith was restored when more replies were forthcoming from you saying that you were only venting.
I did so like this next bit.

." THEN we will begin facing off, digging fox holes, and setting up the concertina wire."

It really was so you.
PJ

[Frédérique]

"Ewwww! Why do you EVEN go there?!" she demanded, making it crystal clear exactly how she felt about the very concept. It's the one time where we can safely get away with it around people we know, and I am really kind of growing to resent her disgusted stance and attitude on it.

Why don’t you tell your wife that she should dress as a woman some day? That should even the playing field nicely…:heehee: My theory is that most women don’t understand why a man would want to dress as a woman simply because they (being women) don’t find it to be special and interesting – they’ve been doing it their entire lives (been there, done that), so what’s the big deal? I say go to the party and enjoy yourself, and damn your wife’s torpedoes…:hmph:


If Kimberly's life sucks then it's time for me quit crossdressing and go play more ice hockey.........

I’ll meet you at the nearest frozen pond, Karren, for a quick game of shinny – I’ll be the one wearing the wool skirt…:battingeyelashes: Don’t check me into the bulrushes too hard, now…