Respect in the work place

[Teri Jean]

As many know I started my transition with full time dressing and presenting as a woman. This past month has been marked with shock and aw here at work but the thing is many have taken the change in stride. I have had individuals come and talk one-on-one and others in a group setting. Word got back to me as some are accepting but not sure how to approach me now that I have made the change but then one needs to understand that as we have had time to get used to the change ourselves and they are trying to catch up.

One of many nice things to hear was this weekend I was talking with a sister-in-law, Helen, and she relayed a comment made by a co-worker to their son. She said that I dress very nice at work and she thought it went a long ways towards people accepting. Being I work in the trades as a building repair worker, they break it I fix it, one cannot come to work in heels and skirt but dressing for the job does not have to be grubs either.

Those who want to do this needs to remember that the type of work dictates how you present yourselves. BTW I do come to work with 40C forms and more than one has done a double take. LOL the other thing is today I was out at the batting cages for softball, taking them down for the winter and the construction crew for a new building just a few yrds away found it hard to determine who the gal was working there. :heehee: I was waiting for the whistles but they were gentlemen and did not.:eek:

I have thought going into this there might be some reprocussions but everything has been good to great. For me the biggest fear was my own doing.:hugs::love:

Teri

[Lissa Stevens]

Congratulations. I am glad to hear that your transition has been fairly smooth, at work. I hope things continue this well.

[Eileen]

Teri Jean it is wonderful to hear that your transition is going better than you had expected. Yes we often worry too much! Being the lady you are, how can anyone object to your being yourself!

Eileen

[Terri Andrews]

Teri ,
I am very glad to hear that things are going smooth for you . I would love to do what you have done ,but can`t because of responsbilites that I have .
I do admire your courage and Thanks For Sharing with us .

[pamela_a]

That's great news Terri.


For me the biggest fear was my own doing.

Isn't that the truth. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

I'm very happy it's going well for you girl.

-Pam-

[TJ Tresa]

Teri I am truely glad that things are going so well. I'm surprised that some of your coworkers aren't talking behind your back in a negative way. If things are going as good as you say then maybe you should invite those who don't know how to approach you to a dinner party or something and show off you feminine skills in the home setting and maybe ease thier minds. Don't force it but let them feel at ease with it.

[Teri Jean]

Thank you all, it is finally good to get ready for work. TJ those who talk behind ones's back are talking to the wind as if they are not secure enough to talk with you face to face then it's their issue not yours. Everyone have a great day.

Teri

[bobi jean]

Word got back to me as some are accepting but not sure how to approach me now that I have made the change but then one needs to understand that as we have had time to get used to the change ourselves and they are trying to catch up.

Yes and we all know that catching up is hard to do. patience is key and there are those that will NEVER accept or even try to understand so you will need to "JUST LET IT GO" and get on with YOUR life. I would put the word out,(you already know the ones to use for this) simply stating the fact that you are, still "the same person" with the same knowledge (possibly even more), the same ability and capabilities as before. the only thing(s) that has changed from a month ago is your work clothes, and perhaps outward appearance. I do agree wit MJ, Invite all of your co-workers and 2 or 3 real close friends to a back yard B B Q, or the super bowl,(BYOB), or as mentioned, a dinner party, to allow those that are willing, to get to know you as Teri Jean.

I am happy for you

best wishes to you, and Good luck
Bobi

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Hi TeriJean
Looks like you are doing great...don't sell yourself short...there is alot of fear to get over and it takes courage to step up and do what you had to do.

now you are getting the enjoyment and peacefulness of taking that chance..

i love the talking to the wind point you made...so true

I'm very happy for you
Kate

[Dawn D.]

Hi Teri Jean,

It's so good to hear that things are going well! For the most part people seem able to handle these issues in stride. And yes, it does take time for them to catch up to where we are at. But, then I like having a head start:D

One thing that I have found out is, some of the people who came to me in the beginning and said "Great! I'm glad your happy! I have no problem with you.", I later was told that they went to others and made statements to the contrary. That they "just don't get it" and never will", They "think he made the biggest mistake of his life" And "how could he do that". And, of course they will never say it to your face. What I have to remember is these comments are their opinion and one cannot let it detract from what we know is necessary for us.

I hope you do not have this happen to you. I am very happy to hear that they all seem to be so very accepting. Way to go!


Dawn

[Angel.Marie76]

YAY! My goodness, I am just loving to pieces the good good things I've been reading for the past few minutes! *reaches out and give you a HUGE :hugs:*

Good new from you, and good news from Kimberly, and Julie, and of course the others who have also had positive outcomes as well. I've only just read the two at this time, and I myself have been starting to worry myself sick about being out completely. I know, I know, so very much of this stress is self-imposed, I get that. Certianly, I'm not looking to steal the wind from your sails girl, kudos to you for having good luck and decent coworkers! As is, work is just, really, another stepping stone of the world.. and you've done good to take those steps well. :)

Congrats and best of luck into the future!!

[Teri Jean]

Angel the road may have a simular detination or look but each of us has to navigate through the hills and dales dodging the pot holes and road blocks. When it was time for me I knew it inside and then sought out the therapist to help and confirm what my feelings.

If you are having strong issues that you are agonizing over, get help from a professional and then if the road opens up you will know what to do and have a guide to help. Where ever you are and heading you know we will be here for you also. Thanks and hugs to all.

Teri

[morgan51]

Thanks you give me a lot of hope thankyou for sharing Morgan

[CharleneT]

Hi Teri Jean,
....
One thing that I have found out is, some of the people who came to me in the beginning and said "Great! I'm glad your happy! I have no problem with you.", I later was told that they went to others and made statements to the contrary. That they "just don't get it" and never will", They "think he made the biggest mistake of his life" And "how could he do that". And, of course they will never say it to your face. What I have to remember is these comments are their opinion and one cannot let it detract from what we know is necessary for us....


Dawn

Unfortunately we all get to encounter this at some point. One of my best friends is this way, although not as bad as your examples. Her words to me are quite positive and then when talking to others fairly negative. I hope that over time her real opinions catch up to what she feel comfortable saying. I know her boyfriends have both said things in support of me when she is negative .... ah bless 'em :)

[kellycan27]

So happy to see that you are living your dream. Isn't it wonderful? Sometimes there are just no words to describe it in a way that would give it justice. Sheer happiness and joy for me... only scratches the surface.
You have nowhere to go but up! Congratulations sister, from the bottom of my heart.:hugs:
Kelly

[Empress Lainie]

I am so happy for you Teri Jean. I also am living the dream and it is so wonderful. :love:

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Soon it will be my turn with official announcement on 11/25/09 and then Legal Name change. Right now around 23 people at work know I'm transitioning and the remainder probably have heard rumours or suspect, so I'm essentially living it now as it is. I'll just be official on 11/25/09

Most people will tell me to my face they understand and are happy for me, but with some you can tell with their expression that they don't understand it, but they say the politically correct thing. I know that people will talk and say things behind my back, but I realize that people have their opinions and beliefs. I'm fine if they have differing opinions, all I ask is they respect me as a person in my workplace.. Otherwise I don't get to upset with what other people think. Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[Teri Jean]

Kimberly I'm so happy for you. I have been living for a month now and it has been for the most part really good. I did have a gg co-worker give me a hard time today but if that is the worst so be it. You will do fine and as one sister said to me if plans happen out of order or early just roll with it. Mine did and Pam's did, so it does happen.

Huggs Teri