Need some encouragement

[alleycat2009]

ive faced the fact that i have no guts but want to get some new lingerie and a few other things. I need some pushing to go out and get some. So Help give me the encouragement i need .

[Jaclyn NM]

Just go do it girl. The worst part of shopping for our female clothing is ourself. We think all kind of bad things are going to happen, and guess what, they don't. I've bought numerous articles of intimate female clothing, and never had a problem. So buck up girl, and just go do it.

[Ras]

worst case order it online..that way no embaressing moments

[trisha59]

Chances are the sales people will think you'r really sweet for buying you're SO a sexy gift.

[az_azeel]

As were getting near xmas it does get easier to shop... in all honesty sales persons are not interested as long as the money goes in the till... after all they dont know its for you..and you dont need to tell them.. they will assume you are getting it for your SO / GF .. .. for a bit of ease you could always say ..am i okay to bring this back if it does not fit her....

[Marcia Blue]

Alley, just walk in like you own the place and pick up what you need. The stores all want to make a sale. Go for it girl.

[sherri52]

Don't even hesitate. Go shopping. The thrill of dressing to go shopping will be well worth it. If you don't want to dress in drab will also do. The SA's won't think twice about seeing you enfemme or in drag. They want to make sales. If it's high end shopping they get a commission. You can't get a commision if the customer doesn't like you and walks away. Go dressed, if your in drab you will have to use the mens changing rooms to try something on.

[NathalieX66]

1. Go into a lingerie shop, like Victoria's Secret or Charlotte Russe.
2. Browse as long as you possibly can....study everything with great detail
3. If & when the Sales attendant asks if she can help you, you either tell her what you're looking for, or be like me and say "um, I don't know what I want yet"
4. Pick anything and everything you want.
5 Don't worry about the other store patrons...they need to mind their own business.
6. Say as little as possible if you don't want to , except to ask questions to the sales attendant. They most likely will think you are buying for someone else.....but it's way more fun to get them to make assumptions about you. You can just flat out admit to admit that is it for yourself, as I have done before. I found this easier in the more exciting stores than in a Nordstroms, that is usually staffed by stuffy old ladies (the ones that do give you the dirty look) .

7. Bottom line is that sales attendants are the least threatening people on the planet, and I highly doubt they will call the police on you. Who cares what they think while she's ringing up that black sheer thong? Further the cause of crossdressers, and let people know there's a market out there for it. Remember...the customer is king/queen...whatever.

[anna_thema]

I say go for it too.

For me there is less nervousness when I shop in a big department store than when I shop in a boutique (not to mention more money left in my account afterward), but don't be afraid, don't be ashamed and if you are really concerned about being "spotted" by someone you know - shop outside your area.

Remember - people see what they want to see, so most will see a fellow doing some shopping for a gift for his wife/girlfriend. And don't worry if it looks like a crap gift, most men would have no idea and the dumb guy act has certainly worked for me in the past (in fact it often leads to useful advice from the shop assistants).

[Alicia Grey]

I used to have all kind of fear when shopping for femme articles, until I channeled that fear to a thrill of sorts, like you get from a roller coaster. Now it it's more of a kick to go shopping. I now have to watch myself sometimes, that I don't buy too much.

[Amanda_in_MA]

go for it... jump right into the pool and have fun...

It's just b4 Christmas so worst case you can tell yourself (or others) that you are getting a jump on your shopping.

The hardest part it doing it the first time, soon you'll be a pro and won't think twice about walking into VS and picking up that new bra you want.

[tricia_uktv]

Ok hon, here is what you do (and don't shout at me). Find a shop you like, in their find an SA you like the look of, then go straight up to her and tell her what you are looking for. Tell her in no uncertain terms that the lingerie is for you.

Then have fun :)

You'll be surprised

[joann07]

There's no encouragement necessary.
Shop just as you've done it thousands upon thousands of times at every place you've shopped before and treat it as normal as can be.
You don't have to explain why you're buying something go out and buy it.

With the economy the way it is, business are more than happy to have you spend money at their place and so they're going to do whatever it takes to get you to open your wallet.
Be honest, friendly, and ask a lot of questions with the SA's and you'll be amazed at how helpful they are.

One thing I would suggest is to dress nicely so that you don't come across as pervert. That would mean, business casual, polo and slacks, and NO shorts, t-shirt, sneakers, hats, etc, etc.

Other than that, go out and help the economy. :)

Hugs!

[RavenAndrea]

I agree, it is getting close to Christmas. Just say the purchases are for a spouse or girl friend. Make sure you know your measurements.

[christinek]

One thing I would suggest is to dress nicely so that you don't come across as pervert. That would mean, business casual, polo and slacks, and NO shorts, t-shirt, sneakers, hats, etc, etc.

Other than that, go out and help the economy. :)

Hugs!

For god sakes no FLIPFLOPS!

[weekend woman]

Girlfriend there is nothing more depressing than raggedy underwear. Run don't walk to the store of your choice and spend some money. The economy is dependent on you!

[Monica73]

I was looking for inserts this week and walked right up to a sales lady and told her what I needed. Luckily it's Halloween soon so I told her a bunch of us guys were dressing up...it still took a lot of guts and I felt much more confident after that.

[boardpuppy]

If you need some practice shopping for those intimit items, actually go shopping for the SO/GF, buy a present or more even. However, before the Holidays are over make sure you have done all of your own shopping too. The more you shop for the other half the easier it is for you to shop for yourself. Enjoy yourself.

Hugs,
Alice

[CamilleLeon]

You can do it...just push yourself to do it. It's worth it

[Hope]

Are you old enough to have regrets about NOT doing things in your life yet? NOT having asked out the girl, NOT having taken the opportunity to go bungie jumping, NOT having taken the opportunity to go buy your own clothes?

If so - think about what a waist it is to not take advantage of opportunities before they are gone.

If not - you are about to learn.

[trannie T]

It is your decision, either go out and buy whatever you wish or stay home and whine.

[sarahgirl55]

i agree with ras order online or go outta town and buy it good luck

[EjayeCD]

I was very nervous the first time I went shoppin, but believe me, it gets easier the more yu do it.

[marie354]

The hardest thing for me was 'The Fear Of The Fear' or 'What Will Others Think'.
Once you get past that, and just go out and do it, it will get easier as time goes by.
Just ask the girl at the checkout... 'Do you thing my lady will like these things for her birthday?' or something similar.
~~Sandy~~

[Rianna Humble]

ive faced the fact that i have no guts but want to get some new lingerie and a few other things. I need some pushing to go out and get some. So Help give me the encouragement i need .

The others have said most of it, hun. I mainly shop near to where I work and no-one has challenged me yet. I go both en femme and in drab depending on the circumstances.

I let the SA's think what they want, but ask if I need help.

[SheriM]

You need to "just do it".
Assuming that you are presenting as a man . . . If you are looking a nighty or perhaps even panties, you might get away with telling the SA they are for your SO. If you are looking for a bra, tell her it is for you and ask for help. Guys just don't purchase bras for women and she won't believe you anyway. It can be fun to get some help and if you are like me, you need the help.

[SuzanneBender]

Darling don't stress they want your money and you want to give it to them for the pretty things that we all need. I used to be terrified of shopping. No more. I do it en femme and en drab. Heck at the SCC I had a run in my hose and ran to target only about half dressed.
Some tips.
1. Be confident. You are not doing anything wrong. You get more attention by being timid than looking like you are doing.
2. Talk with the sales associate and make it clear what you are looking for. If they don't want to help you find another. Its their commission.
3. Don't hesitate to ask to try stuff on and take items back. Nothing is worse that finding a dress or top that you just love and you realize that it doesnt fit right after you get it home.
4. Have fun. Embrace the experience and realize that you are doing what a lot of men only dream about.
:hugs:





6. Say as little as possible if you don't want to , except to ask questions to the sales attendant. They most likely will think you are buying for someone else.....but it's way more fun to get them to make assumptions about you. You can just flat out admit to admit that is it for yourself, as I have done before. I found this easier in the more exciting stores than in a Nordstroms, that is usually staffed by stuffy old ladies (the ones that do give you the dirty look) .

7. Bottom line is that sales attendants are the least threatening people on the planet, and I highly doubt they will call the police on you. Who cares what they think while she's ringing up that black sheer thong? Further the cause of crossdressers, and let people know there's a market out there for it. Remember...the customer is king/queen...whatever.

Right on sister! We will not be accepted until we are proud about who we are and what we do. You are also right about sales associates. It seems younger ones are more helpful.

My favorite line to use when an SA asks if they can help meis, "not right now hon. I know my size and am just browsing." Trust me when you tell them this you will know how helpful they are really going to be. Some will run. Some will leave you alone and some will grab you up and help play personal shopper.

[Janet Bern]

Just go out of town.. There are more of us buying than you think and every one of the SAs has sold us what we need. It's not all about you.
Janet

[Falkelover]

Alleycat:

I'm new here and just getting beyond being able to shop for a pair of pantyhose or two. We - as a general society - have been so conditioned to the idea that men should never buy women's clothes. I am still recovering myself from this notion.

I am gradually building up my stamina and endurance by buying panties, camisoles, hose, etc. in large dept. stores. I've never had a SA ask if I was buying for myself and never said that I was. But I'm going to do it soon. I am kind of fantasizing about what it will be like to "out" myself that way. The rational part of me knows that it will probably be a little bit of a letdown.

Tricia is right - just go for it. Aren't you wondering what will happen?? You know they are just going to help you - as others have said, they want a sale and it doesn't matter if they are selling to a genetic female, a man, a CD, a martian or whatever.

It is such a rush and so much fun. I'm hoping that the thrill never quite wears off....

[Monica73]

Today I went into Target with panties, tights, and my bra on underneath. I walked right into the lingerie section with no hesitation. No one has ever asked me a thing. I've had some older men/women stare at me, but in the past I've bought my wife stuff so to me it's no big deal. Trying it on there is my issue.

[Angelofsomekind]

1 Ask if they gift wrap

2 Buy gift cards, then use them online. This way you can at least go into the store and buy something. Check the place out. I remember the first time I got the nerve to go into V.S. after I got in I felt better because I noticed there were a couple other guys in there to.

3. Ask for a gift recipt

[Kari Lynn Franks]

Alley, just walk in like you own the place and pick up what you need. The stores all want to make a sale. Go for it girl.

she said it all right there

[joann07]

Alley, just walk in like you own the place and pick up what you need. The stores all want to make a sale. Go for it girl.

I can't agree more with that.
If you can go shopping with that kind of attitude, it doesn't matter what time of the year you shop and like I said before you don't have to explain anything.
Just do it and you'll feel soooo much better.
It's a piece of cake.

Hugs!

[alleycat2009]

Wow, Thanks for all the support it does mean alot. :battingeyelashes:

[Kristen Kelly]

Before I started going out shopping enfem I was fearful what people were thinking, but as my confidence grew I started taking things sandwiched between male clothes into the men's dressing room to try on. I can remember 1 shopping day at Macy's a few years ago out in male mode; I had become very comfortable out shopping by then. I had found a pair of women's jeans marked down from $85 to $15 and 2 tops for $3 each took them to the register stood in line and when checking out the clerk said,” Wow what a bargain, your wife or GF is going to love these." for which I replied back very quickly, "She better keep her hands off them they are mine." There wasn't a single word from the clerk but there were giggles from the women in line. Start off small find your line of comfort and push it a little each time out and soon you will just be 1 of the girls out shopping.