supporting others

[Amymonroe]

I am having a problem with something and I think you all might be able to help. I have an acquaintance/friend. I consider her to be a friend but in reality we've only met on 3-4 occasions. I want to start communicating with her. She is transgender. She just recently about two years ago went through SRS. My question is this: how do I tell her that I know about her and that I support her. At the same time later down the road I would like to tell her about me. Pease help

Amy

[TonyaV]

Maybe you should approach her first by telling her about your CD'ing; that would allow her the opportunity to volunteer her story on her own.

Start by mentioning you feel comfortable talking to her, and that you've got something very personal you'd like to share with her, and get her opinion on, etc...

[noeleena]

Hi. Amy
. how open are you with others . dont put her on the spot . use some tact. dont ask her . put it in your court with out going over board. say . your interested in dressing up . & would she help or how you go about it. youll come up with some idears .
Put your self in her shoes . youv met her a few times what do you talk about . . like interests other than the weather .
Of cause she may not wont to talk about this side of her self . if she just wonts to be a women . female . i know youd like to ask . my thinking is give her that time to come out . take your time if you wont a friendship . then dont push her . hope it works out.
...noeleena...

[Joanne f]

I am not sure that you should tell her that you know about her , if you are friends then there is no need to tell her ,just accept her for who she is then if she ever feels the need she will tell you .

[Karen7cd]

Hi, joanne is right on. Just be her friend. Does it matter if she is cd, trans, green or pink all over. A good friend is a good friend.

[kellycan27]

Hi, joanne is right on. Just be her friend. Does it matter if she is cd, trans, green or pink all over. A good friend is a good friend.

Exactly!

[Amymonroe]

i like her for who she is i just want her to know i support her.

[Alicia Grey]

I agree with TonyaV


Maybe you should approach her first by telling her about your CD'ing; that would allow her the opportunity to volunteer her story on her own.

come out to her and let her comfort you by telling her story

[Stephenie S]

Dear Amy,

Tell her anything you want about yourself, sweetie, But that's it. Her gender, born or surgical, is NONE of your business until she tells you.

If you want to be a friend, go right ahead, but one's gender is not usually a subject that's up for discussion in the beginning of a friendship.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[DiannaRose]

Listen to Stepanie and the others, Amy. Support your frend without calling attention to the fact that you support her. BE a good friend, and let her tell you about herself in her own time and way.

Chances are...once you share your secret with her (and I think you should, if you trust her as a good friend), she'll open up hers to you.

But don't push it.

[Stephanie Miller]

I agree with the "don't ask - don't tell" approach. Support should have no requirements. Why the heck should it matter to you if she is TG. Why should it matter to her who/what you are? Just be a friend. :hugs:

[Amymonroe]

thank you everyone for the advice i will do that. this is why i asked for help i did not want to offend her or loose her as a friend. again thank you.

amy

[TJ Tresa]

I assume that she doesn,t know about your CDing ( should I tell about me).
There fore I would proceed very carefully, Like Noeleena said/ asked how open are you.
Do/would you want someone you have only meet a few times come up and start asking questions that you might concedervery private.
Yes I agree there is alot of information you could get from her. However I think you need to respect her privacy. WHAT DO YOU THINK????

[Stephanie Stephens]

Maybe you could ask her out for a cup of coffee or a drink. It is OK to do that. Go from there.