My first Halloween

[Melissa A.]

This being my first year out female, It's also my first Halloween known as a woman to everyone I know. Wanna know something? I know this is highly unusual, but in all my years pre-out, most spent identifying as a cd(denial ain't just a river in Egypt, as we all know), I NEVER dressed as female for halloween.(ok, once, many years ago, and I hadda be talked into it) When I tell other trans women this, they often look at me like I'm nuts. "Are you kidding??? I thought we ALL jumped all over that, every year!" Well, it just never felt right to me. First of all, I often noticed that many men do the dress-up thing as a parody, an over-the-top joke. I didn't wanna be that person.(Before ya say it, yes, I know; many of those guys are closet tg's of some stripe themselves) But most of it was this: Even as I resisted the idea for years that I was a transsexual, somewhere in the back of my mind, it simply didn't seem right to "dress up" as something I already was. Simply put, this ain't a costume. I have really never found any other trans women who felt the way I did, which I have always found a bit odd. I guess for most, the temptation to get out there, in a sanctioned way, while you are still in the closet is just too great, and I understand that, I really do. but most people do get it when I explain it this way.

Anyway, this being the first Halloween as me, I'm going with the obligitory sl*t suit. So sue me. I never got to do it before. Happy Halloween, all!

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[~amy]

I think I get it. You want to be a woman on your terms. Thats cool. On another topic, Its funny though that even on Halloween there are still those that can't deal with transgendered behavior.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN:)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

This year, I'm going as a man:heehee:

Mel, i'm with you..i only dressed as a woman once on halloween prior to admitting my own feelings...

that was when i was a pre teen!!!
Of course, I never forgot that night..heh

since starting to plan transition i've dressed up in fun costumes (the last 2 years)..but those are the only times.

[Empress Lainie]

Yep Kaitlyn. My friend and exgf of 20yrs laughingly suggested I dress as a man. I told her I never would pass. Since even before my transition people had actually asked her if I was a transman (ftm!). So I am going to work tonight and tomorrow in my new lavender long hair wig.

I don't care if the people know I wear a wig, since they fully accept me as a woman and I went in without it one night recently. I am just a woman who had lost her hair due to an accident!

[LisaM]

Melissa,

I understand exactly how you feel. I never felt like dressing as a girl was a costume.

[Karen564]

This Halloween has been very confusing for me, I only thing I know is that I don't want to dress up as some guy, since I did that for too long as it is most of my life, and I dont want to dress up as an ordinary woman since that's what I am, so I've been at a loss, and wont be going out this year at all, but I really do like the sl*t idea :devil: :battingeyelashes:

:hugs:

[Mariah]

I never dress as a woman, did not see the point ether. :)

[sempervirens]

But most of it was this: Even as I resisted the idea for years that I was a transsexual, somewhere in the back of my mind, it simply didn't seem right to "dress up" as something I already was. Simply put, this ain't a costume.
I can really relate to this. I also thought it would be kind of silly to bring unnecessary attention from friends and family when it was something I was doing during the rest of the year; I didn't even want to put that idea in their heads.

[Miranda09]

Sounds logical to me Melissa....go out there and have a great time. Halloween is for dressing however you want to dress. :)

[GinnySmith]

Happy Halloween- its our day gurls!

[MAJESTYK]

I can relate. Last year I "dressed" up simply because I could and no one would care. Since then I am out more and dress everyday and dont care who knows. This year was going to be a dilemma"what do I dress as since this isnt a costume"??
Luckily, my wife and I are Rev war reenactors and have the appropriate attire. So I'm going to wear her gown and all the other bits and bobs as would befit a colonial lady. I think it apro po, a lady wearing a costume,

[natasha]

Hope you have a ball!!!!!!!

At the insistence of my wife a few years ago (2005) I dressed as a woman for halloween (a very long depressing story). She did'nt know of my "issues" at that time. Up to that point in my life I successfully avoided any costume of any sort 'till that night. That night the damn broke and she also realized that I was way more comfortable with it than was..........well what most consider normal. I always knew that if I ever did it, it would be the start of something more than a simple halloween costume. In all honesty I thank her almost all the time now, and she is very accepting of me. The past 4 years have been such a release of bottled up anxiety for so many years.

The only bad part is I am fearful of dressing up again because I know that the people I associate with will see it as strange that my "costume" is a reacurring theme. Courage is building though!!!!

[Melissa A.]

C:\Users\Melissa\Pictures\Halloween 2009\Halloween 2009 003.jpg

C:\Users\Melissa\Pictures\Halloween 2009\Halloween 2009 024.jpg

....and I had a wonderful time! (a little fuzzy today, though!)

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Jessinthesprings]

C:\Users\Melissa\Pictures\Halloween 2009\Halloween 2009 003.jpg

C:\Users\Melissa\Pictures\Halloween 2009\Halloween 2009 024.jpg

....and I had a wonderful time! (a little fuzzy today, though!)

Hugs,

Melissa:)

sorry girl the links to your hard drive won't let us see the pics. Can't wait to see them though.

[Sally2005]

I dressed up and went out this year. I was reluctant to do it, but in the end I had a great time. I also served candies to the kids at the door dressed, except I wore a scary mask and party wig. It was a riot spooking the kids and many had a very good laugh. I have overcome any fear I used to have doing this and I really had fun!