New baby and what it means to my CD time

[leggylisa]

Im sure many of you have had a child and would know how this impacts what you get up to in you "spare time" so to speak :) We will be having our first child soon and i'd like to hear from anyone how much this changes or did change your life in a CD sense. Thanks all!

[noeleena]

Hi...
How it impacks your life will & can depend on your s o . if your both accepting of you as a person . how or what you dress in really is of no concern . your baby will not care so long as you give of ....your self .... then have no fear of being rejected . we have 3 grown up kids & 7 grand kids wih one more on the way . one was born this sat just gone . a 6 lb boy . in the u k so wont see him till june next year .
Hey kids are great you get to do lots of things with them . just love them ...
...noeleena...

[Blaire]

You're about to have 6 straight months of no sleep, and you're worried about CD time? Don't worry about what you get to do in your spare time. You won't have any.

[leggylisa]

It not the short term im thinking about :P i do realise i wont have much time at the start

[cdbrandi]

My baby will be 1 year old at the end of the month, and as of yet she has not affected my dressing in any way. My wife knows and is supportive. I dress around the house, but rarely go out.

[Kate Simmons]

A baby is a lot of work but worth every effort and any sacrifice. Crossdressing was the least thing on my mind when my children were born. They are a special kind of joy that should not be missed for anything.

[leggylisa]

ok, as i seem to have been totally misunderstood and people are seemingly thinking i care more about dressing up than my child ill just thank you for any repsonses and give this up.

[Sara Jessica]

ok, as i seem to have been totally misunderstood and people are seemingly thinking i care more about dressing up than my child ill just thank you for any repsonses and give this up.

Don't give up, I knew exactly what you were saying, probably because I've been there.

Having a baby doesn't mean your need for feminine expression will magically go away. But as so many have accurately said, time becomes an issue. Then again, depending on how "out" you are with your wife, your little bundle of joy isn't going to remember what you are wearing. So that part might not change so much if you are able to dress around your wife.

As for my experience, it wasn't really a conscious decision but when my first child was born, it so happened that I stopped going out and this lasted for about 7 or 8 years. It didn't mean I purged or anything like that, I still had my time at home here and there but outings were non-existent for a long time. But there's no way I'm saying this would happen to anyone else, it's simply what I went through.

Hope that helps a bit.

[Melissa Anne]

First, Congrats on the comming baby! I have two little ones and they are one of the best things that has happened to me. Having a child will change just about every aspect of your life, not just the cding. How it affects the cding will largely depend on the feelings, needs, compromises etc. that you and your wife discuss and the plans/rules/boundaries you set. So, be sure to communicate with your wife and make sure that she and the baby come first. If she is anything like my wife, she will work with you and make sure you have time to dress when you need it. Good Luck!

[Karren H]

What free time? If you have any it will be gone.. Till they go to college.. Your personal life is over so get used to it.. I have voted for a hampster but Nooooo.. My wife wanted 2... She always wins...

[Kari Lynn Franks]

everyone is right FREE-TIME what in the world is that you will be thinking. we raised 2 kids and they both new about me cding one of them didnt care and the other on didnt care for it for the first couple of yrs they wont know the difference but after that it will depend on the way you raise him or her if you raise them in a accepting way as far as other people i believe they will except you 100 % give them all the love and attention you can these days even in school they are teaching exceptence and you didnt mention how excepting is your wife does she care when you cd? have you talked to her about what this will mean? im sorry this is so long got started and just couldnt stop i wish you all the luck and blessings to the new addition to your familly

[Ashlee]

I have an 11 week old currently asleep upstairs. The spouse took off the requisite 12 weeks from work. When the 12 week ended and off she went I was ready for some Ashlee time - no dice. I managed to get dressed but makeup and the rest didn't happen. I thought she'd sleep for hours during the day or at least enough so Ashlee could take some pics to no avail. I'll see what happens as time goes on and will relish what time Ashlee can get to come out.

[MyBlackTights]

I have a 2 yo and a 2 week old, its the 2 yo that I gotta watch out for. she saw me in a skirt once and said "daddy you look beautiful" me and the wife both got a chuckle.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

I understand what you are asking Perkalite. My baby has not infringed on my dressing. Dressing time for me is when he goes to sleep. Things do change when baby comes. But its ok. What concernes me is when he gets older. So I am trying to cherish my time right now.

[Nicole Erin]

Our "baby" is going to be 13 years real soon.

So yeah at first, it will be very time consuming.
As the kids get older, they don't require as much attention.

When they are real little, CD'ing shouldn't be effected much by having a baby, it is going out and having fun that is limited. Unless you have babysitters or the spouse doesn't mind watching for a few hours. It does bite though when normally you could just get up and go, and now you have this kid to think about. Once they hit about 11 or 12 and are mature enough to take care of themselves for a few hours, it is not so bad.

Once they are in school, it is not so bad. Of course by then you are accustomed to not having much freedom. Gyod I don't even remember what it was like to be 100% free. :straightface:

The real problem though, is when they get a bit older in school and you kind of have to watch your step as you don't want your kid's peers giving him a hard time.

At first, having a kid is going to be a shcok to the system, but once you are truely used to it, it just becomes an integrap part of your life, after a while you don't even think about "Gee, I could go do this or that if I didn't have a kid". Well, maybe for really huge things like wanting to go to SCC oir whatever, then having a kid gets in the way until they are mid-teens.

Congrats on having a new family member. :D My best friend in real life just had a baby and yeah he says it is a little rough but we all go thru it. The challenges change as they get older. But I still stand by the opinion that it gets easier as they get older.

[~Seana~]

I've 4 children, ranging in age from 2 1/2 to 15.

As others have indicated, how the child is raised will have an affect on attitude. You have to be careful though that you arent promoting gender identification disorder. Your child is in a formative age for the first five years where alot of their attitudes will come from you.
Good news is, cognitive memory wont start until about age four or so. So they wont remember daddy in a skirt until at least then. They sure will ask the dangdest questions though.


Time..well as others have mentioned you wont have much.Or any really. Until they reach about grade 1 in school they will be with YOU most of the tme until about age 6 so if they are awake, so are you,with you keeping an eye on them. Children have incredible stamina. If you are thinking after bedtime, think again. That's when you get all the things done you cant do when the children are around, right before you collapse into bed from total exhaustion.

Children are incredibly nosey. They notice everything. And they snoop when you are asleep or otherwise engaged, you'll probably find your bedroom closet is not such a safe place if you are considerably differently sized than your spouse to store your clothes. Babysitters too have been known to nose around in closets, so be careful where you store your breast forms.Invest in locks now.

Then there's the joy of finding your makeup bag has been ravaged by a curious 4 year old who has hundreds of dollars in makeup all over themselves, the cat, the carpet, and anything else with a surface.Why? Because they saw daddy do it.Did I mention children are ALWAYS WATCHING?

As it turns out though your biggest issue might be the least of your concerns. Having children makes you a HUGE target to anyone with a beef against you, a common strategy for some people is to call up family services if someone doesnt like you for whatever reason and claim neglect/abuse. If you have children..get a good lawyer. Sooner or later you'll need it. A CD'ing parent...makes a very susceptable target.

I love my children very much. I dont regret them in the least. They do test you in ways you never imagined though.

[suchacutie]

If your wife is supportive and the post-partem depression is not severe (if it is your life will be totally on hold until she is back on an even hormonal keel), I would expect that you'd have an immense amount of time to dress after the relatives leave.

For the first two weeks or so your house will be a zoo and your wife will be crazy with hormones. But, after that, as it all settles and the relatives leave you two to fend for yourselves, you will be spending an immense amount of time caring for the baby and your wife. Again, as long as your wife is supportive, you will probably have an immense amount of time to dress!

Years later when your childe is beyond 2, it will all depend upon the situation of sharing your feminine life beyond your wife. If it's not to be shared with your child, your dressing will taper down for a few years until you work out a pattern.

But, I do imagine that for a couple of years the nurturing time can be done en femme as well as in drab!

It's a great time of life! All my best wishes!

tina

[Rebecca Jayne]

When both my daughter & son came along,our family were my life and it was the best. It wasn't until they were way past 10 that I even started to dress again, and the wait was well worth it.
My family is more important to me than my lifestyle choices were.

Now they are grown up and out of the house and now it is Rebecca's time once more

[Victoria Anne]

Okay Blaire and Karren said it best , your personal life,free time is toast. Congratulations on the comeing baby , BTW I have 3 girls and 2 boys grandbaby' 1 so far.

[cd_jamie]

congrads on the new baby.my kids are grown but i can remember getting up in the middle of the night to feed them. you will still get some free time. if you are out to your wife the baby wont care what you are wearing when you feeding

[Rhonda Jean]

Keep in mind, my first was born over 20 years ago. At the time, it was hard for me to imagine myself as a dad. We'd been married for 10 years, and I was about as feminine as one can be without being completely "out". The whole thing was daunting to me. Not only did I have the usual worries of being a first time parent, but I worried about what kind of father I could be. I was skinny, bra-strap length hair, and most of my clothes came from the Junior's department. I slept in a nightgown every night, wore my fingernails long and kept my toes polished. I shaved all over and plucked my eyebrows. I spent a lot of time with my hair in curlers. I didn't own any male unerwear. And this was my male side! i felt a strong need to conform, and a selfishly strong desire to hang on to my femininity. I thought if we had a girl, I might not feel such pressure to give it up. When we found out we were having a boy, I was even more conflicted.

During her pregnancy the pressure increased, both externally and internally. My wife was already slightly heavier than me (which was already a problem) and during her pregnanycy gained 50 pounds. She no longer felt pretty, and began to resent me in many ways.

After our baby was born, my wife seriously suffered from post-partum depression. Me being a girly-looking husband made it worse. As it is with depression, she found little joy in anything. This is when she began to despise everything feminine about me. It was in her face all the time. It made both of us uncomfortable, to say the least. The photos of me with the baby, which should have elicited pride and happiness, were disturbingly feminine, even to me.

Almost from the time he was born, our son was noticably comforted by holding my hair. Everybody noticed it, and many commented on it. Especially when I was giving him a bottle, he'd take hold of my hair and pull it across his face and just hold on to it. One of her friends reminesced about her son doing the same thing when she was breastfeeding and what a bonding experience it was. That comment, along with many similar observations by everyone from strangers to friends and family would elicit tears, anger, or both. The comparison of me to a breast feeding woman was a little much for her to handle. Over the next few months I began getting my hair cut a couple of inches at a time every couple of weeks until, for the first time in my life, I had a typical male haircut.

Shortly after that I started wearing and sleeping in men's underwear. In pretty rapid succession, my girly clothes were left behind, too.

Obviously, all these things didn't disappear forever. I started growing my hair back out just about as soon as I got it cut. Over time, most of the girly stuff came back, although never with quite the same openness as before.

If this sounds like a tale of woe, it's not. Being a dad was/is the most rewarding thing I've ever done! It simply can't be compared to any other experience that life has to offer. I'll admit to an overwhelming anxiety all through the process of giving up my fem self in favor of being the dad I wanted to be, but there's no question that it was absolutely the right thing to do! Maybe it's not the right thing for everyone, and I won't debate the issue. It was absolutely the right thing for me. Tough to do... I'd be hyperventilating and in tears on my way to get my hair cut, and crying about it when I left. I felt like I was going through withdrawls trying to sleep without a nightgown. Men's underwear nauseated me. I dont' regret any of it! It was all so worth it. For my wife, for me to be the dad I wanted to be, it was necessary. The only unfortunate thing about it is that my (then) wife and the mother of my children is now my ex.

Probably a litte more information than you bargained for, but there you have it.

[sherri52]

The baby won't realize you've been cd'ing until he/she turns about 18 months or later. Then you will dress less or pray they go to sleep early. I have eight children, it was usually late for me and sleep enfemme. Then you hope when they wake up in the middle of the night, you can keep them from seeing. A child will tell everyone that daddy was wearing mommies dress.

[Temptation]

It's about priorities.
the new baby will be the priority - not your cd-ing.

[HelenaB]

Grace,

I have three kids. One has just turned 13 and the other two are still at Primary.

I look back on life before the kids and I realise just how much freedom I had do dress, either in the evening or at the weekend. One thing you will find as the little one grows up, is that firstly you have to be very secretive again, just like I was when I was growing up with my parents. The other thing that will change is the frequency that you will be afforded to dress, as most of us who aren't open about what we do, have to work around the kids, so dressing can only be done when they're not around.

You will adjust, as I had to, and you'll just take the opportunities as they arise. The other thing that may change is regarding your SO, as up to now, it's just been the two of you probably, but add a child into the mix and what you may have shared while dressed previously, will mostly go out of the window.

Sorry to sound all doom & gloom, because it isn't. It is just a matter of going through some re-adjustment in your life and re-balancing things again. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Regards,

Helena.

[docrobbysherry]

It's THE END OF YOUR LIFE, as you know it!:eek:

And I DON'T mean just CDing, I mean EVERYTHING!:devil:

[krissy_toronto]

Im sure many of you have had a child and would know how this impacts what you get up to in you "spare time" so to speak :) We will be having our first child soon and i'd like to hear from anyone how much this changes or did change your life in a CD sense. Thanks all!

Didnt dress for 1st 6mths of my sons birth (5yrs ago), it was not to bad, he and the wife kept my mind off transforming.
After 2nd was born 2.5 yrs ago I was pretty much back to normal sneaking around, taking 'work from home days' off.

[leggylisa]

for the people posting that the baby is more important than my dressing up now and again, I thank you for that input but im not totally stupid and do actually realise this :Angry3:

It seems as if I've had some really good replies here and i thank you for your insights. I couldn't claim that my wife is 100% ok with me but she tolerates it, I'm not sure how that would extend to being like it around a child. But If i have to knock it on the head so be it im sure I'll get my moments, It's and exciting time and there are lots of things to worry about and its really good to get insight from other people who have been through all of this. While dressing up for me is not a defining aspect of my life i still would like to get the chance to do it now and then without it impacting on the life of my child.

PS.
thanks for the helpful pm's!

[karennjcd]

Grace,

If I may add my 2 cents...

I don't know that 2 years old is the magic number, but when the baby is very young (especially before he or she learns to talk and walk) you can probably get away with CD'ing in the child's presence. As they mature, then it's time to be more discrete. If your spouse is OK with your interest, then what you previously enjoyed doing around the house may have to be relegated to the bedroom.

Fast forward many years until the child is a teenager. As children mature they become more inquisitive, and may be curious about things. If left alone in the house don't be surprised if the child explores places that were off limits, such as mom & dad's bedroom. What I'm saying is that hiding places might be found, and secrets thus revealed. The older they get, the smarter they get too.

Karen

[Rachel_Red]

I think you and your SO need to take some time to talk. I know what you mean, "Will CDing be restricted to when the children arn't around or after they're asleep?" Well that depends on your family. See I believe their are two camps... two types of families out there. You have the: Normal family, and the Liberal family. (this has nothing to do with polotics by the way).

So you have to define your family with your SO. Do you CD around the children? If you say yes you need to consider how to explain it to them, wonder if it will distort their view of the world. Children need their father, so you have to define how you want to give them that figure. If you dress up around them you may want to explain that its just clothing and that you can express yourself any way you want and so can they.

So to figure out how the wee one is going to change your life you need to figure out how you want CDing to fit into their lives as well. Do you want it to be a secret, or do you want them to know about it. Depending on which path you take it will change the out come a ton, but also realize you will need to do a lot of explaining to your kids.

[Blaire]

It not the short term im thinking about :P i do realise i wont have much time at the start

Are you totally out? You and your SO have to figure out how, when or if to keep the kids in the loop. If CDing is unhidden from the get-go, it may become so totally normal that jr. won't even think there's something different. That's a good thing. Or not. Depends on your position in life. The one thing you can certainly count on a kid for, and that's saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong people. My take is that once your kids know something, you have to be prepared for the world to know it. They may not let it out, but you need to be ready for it to happen.

If the decision is to keep it hidden, then it's not really that big a deal. I'm mostly in this situation. My wife accepts, tolerates, understands, and even gives me the occasional present and advice. She's a far cry from being what I would call accepting. She decided that the kids aren't going to see me dressed, and I'm cool with that. But, if I happen to be dressed, and one of them wakes up screaming in the night - off with wig and (if they can be just kicked off - most of mine can't be) shoes, on with the guy robe, and down the hall I go. I know my priorities; if you don't already, you will.

Once he's "sleeping through the night" - a very subjective definition, you have more opportunity for parent time. If you're able to keep your eyes open. You won't have any of this for the first 8 months at least, but I'll wager you won't mind too much. Like everything else in life, you and your SO have to share things. Just remember - this really is much harder on her than you, and you really need to reinforce your support and availability. A very good thing for hubbie to do is to get up, get baby, changed, woken up, etc for the night feedings. Then you also put him back to sleep. The part in the middle you can't really help with and is draining on her. Whatever you already do, for at least the first year, double it. Literally everything in your wife's life has now taken a back seat to your child. She won't be happy about any playtime for you if you're not also putting in the effort to give her some too. This is a good opportunity for earning bonus miles on your brownie points.

My son gets into everything - no matter how well buried. And likes to tromp around in my shoes. My wife gets an odd kick out of it, along with a funny sidelong look at me. You'll see patterns that make you, and your wife moreso, wonder how hereditary CDing is. I think he just likes making noise. I got a locking traincase for my facepaint. They really do get into everything. Treat that type of thing just the same as you would bathroom cleaner. Unless you like red streaks in your laundry! On the wall. the couch. The ceiling. Everything, everywhere.

[gwen cd]

Hi. P.
as you know I have just been through the whole fatherly thing and my son is 19 months old now.

Your first 2 weeks are a mad blur where your mind goes to auto pilot.
Your first 3 months are getting into a every day routine.
depending on how your baby is easy or a Chuky from the movie like mine is.
This will tell you if you have spare time to dress.
Mine was very limmited if even any.
around 14 months for me was the limmit of dressing in front of The baby as he became to realise which one is mommy and which is dady.
look out for this as a tell tale sign if you still wan't to hide it.
after 7 he sleeps so i still have lots of time to dress, dont worry that you wont have any, there is a time for mommy, baby, you, and Miss P.
Go with your gut feeling!
no one can tell you what you must do or when to do it.
I can only tell you my story and exp. the rest is up to you.
Enjoy it.

xxx
Gwen

[5150 Girl]

Well, I've not had kids of my own, but now I find myslef with a step grandson. We babysit very often. But see'n as how baby has 2 mommies at home, feminie figures is what he's used to, and prefers. He likes to snuggle up in my boobies.

[JamieG]

You've already gotten a number of good answers, but I'll supply my own experiences. I have two children: ages 4 and 1. My wife doesn't mind that I dress, but doesn't want to participate. We also agreed that, at least for now, we wouldn't tell the children that I was a CDer. As you know, your free time dwindles to near nothing once you have a baby. In my case, any time that we weren't actively taking care of the babies, we were simply trying to recover our energy. And the rare occasion when there was a little extra time, I wanted to spend it with my wife -- which, in my case, meant not dressed. With the younger child, my dressing dropped to zero for the first few months, and then only a few hours a month for the next nine months. Only recently have we gotten enough sanity back in our lives that I can feel that there is enough time to split between my kids, my wife, and my femme side. Of course, I think this is not an exclusively CD thing. I think this decline in participation should be true of any hobby that you don't share with your wife.

It sounds from your comments that your wife has no problem with you dressing around her, so you may be able to continue dressing frequently. However, since having a baby can be very stressful, the CDing may become a scapegoat as tensions rise. If that happens, I would advise you to respect your wife and immediately cut back.

Jamie

[AmandaM]

Before kids, I could dress whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted, and I could sleep that way too. My wife didn't care. When the babies started, there was too much to do, as well as relatives popping in a lot. So, not much time there. Now that they're older, I can't dress around the house since they don't know, or aren't supposed to know. And forget sleeping that way, they still come in when they have bad dreams. But lately, I have my "reading time", where I lock the bedroom door. Not too bad. But, I think my freedom won't come back until they're out of the house.