Off the rails

[suzi_cd]

Mistress told me to get dressed this morning and serve her breakfast before she headed out to work and told me what I had to wear under my work clothes.

I was standing there in my stockings, thong, basque and heels and I suddenly realised what a HORRIBLE sight I am - a big heavy set man in womens clothings.

I can never, ever, ever look like so many of the girls on here - I'm big, fat and ugly. The slim girl inside of me has died.

[Imogen_Mann]

HEY !!! Dont do yourself down, and FFS girl... I've been big since I was 15 and fat since I was 20... It's what's in the head you need to deal with.

Why can't you diet ? Why not just do it, and every time you want to eat more than you ought to, think about why your're doing it. I've lost 1 and a half stone now in two months, and still on the way down. Once the weight is comming off, you'll feel a lot better about yourself.

Is "mistress" happy with the way you are ? Maybe you need to talk to her about this... I'm not sorry to say it, but I firmly believe that the mistress slave dynamic thing is often taken too far and too seriously by people... You need your say in matters and a good "mistress" will understand your needs. If you feel like crap, you wont be much good to anyone, most importantly yourself. If she wont listen.... Then you wont like my advice, but you need a new mistress, the whole point of a relationship (any relationship) is that you can "relate" to each-others needs, and if thats not there... It's dead in the water. I am single and happy for exactly this reason, my ex and I were living together and realised (her first, then in retrospect me) that it had stopped rolling and become a non runner. We split (yep, it hurt like hell) and now we are both happy again, moving along with our lives with amazing speed again, feeling younger than ever, and the best bit... we are best friends too... probably better friends than we had been in the last four years of our relationship.

You sound pretty well down in the dumps, and you need to climb on out of that rut... or youre really gonna sufffer. Are you sure it's just the "girl inside has died" or is it a more general thing I.e. you're depressed ?... I have been there right to the point on the motorway bridge at 3am.... PLEASE... Dont go there. If you think you may be depressed, dont suffer in silence, tell people, tell your doctor.... YOU are the most important thing in your life.

Ummmm... what else can I say ? Oh... Give yourself a makeover, shave all over, get some new clothes that fit your bigger size (I was guilty of wearing a 16 not a 24) and see how you look and feel then, in fresh new well fitting clothes, smooth skin, make-up... I bet you smile and realise, That girl in side... She aint dead, she's on holiday, and you need to welcome her back !

take care...

XX

Jayme.

[DonnaT]

It's not a competition of looks Suzi.

The question is, do you enjoy dressing enfemme!?

When I was at 286 lbs, I still enjoyed the attire, just stayed away from the mirrors :eek: :D

[suzi_cd]

I'm not really sure how I feel but I went out at lunch time and bought some male underwear.

Work is not going well at the moment - there are a lot of questions being asked about the business model, previous years accounts etc, and I guess this is overflowing into my home life. Mistress's job finishes in a few weeks and to be honest the tension is getting a bit too much.

As for diets - its hard to do a lot when a 48 inch chest is bone, not fat.

I think its time to take a break from it all.

You've been very supportive and its been fun being here.

S

[Jamie M]

I hope that you reconsider , it doesn't all have to be about looking like a supermodel , trust me , very few of us will ever manage that ( and i'm not one of them )

But we all have to do what we have to do , i'm sure that everyone here will welcome you back with open arms if/when you return .

Take care , luv julia