In a delemia here

[DeniseNJ]

As some of you know I had the best pedicure ever last Thursday. I was so proud that Im showed them off in heels all over the place. Yea Halloween was my excuse to walk around like a sissy in heels. I know my wife seen my pedi but that was when she was tuned up. Lately I have been hiding them in socks around her. I love the look so much ,I don't wanna take the polish off till it starts to look bad. They still look fresh. I am even thinking about going back to see the girl for a polish change ruby red with silver tips. Thinking about what to tell the nail tech :daydreaming:. I know I will tell her that I love the look so much that I want her to change the color because I am feeling so pretty. I just love the feminine look of my feet. I know if my wife sees the polish she will tell me to take it off. she calls it discusting.. I am sneeking in the shower, sneeking in the bed . I don't wanna get off this ride cause I am having so much fun. Thursday the wife is going away for a night and I wanna have so fun as Denise and show them off in strappy heels:thumbsup: Got to make it to Thursday. I don't wanna sound like a snobby girl but I love my feet, they look so girly. what would you girls do. another shot in patti sandles

[sherri52]

I would keep them painted. I'm going through my dilema with painted nails I wan to keep them painted but I have an appointment at the VA tommorrow. So I'll stretch it out and take it off in the morning. You keep it going girl Thursday is three days away.

[Karren H]

Ya know they make stickon toe nails.... So I would go get your self a set and just stick the unpainted ones over your painted ones and see if it gets you through to Thursday!!

[Jamie001]

Sherri,

There really is no reason to take off your nail polish to go to your appointment. The color of your nail is no one's business but you own. You should keep your pretty nails and be very proud of them.

:2c: Jamie


I would keep them painted. I'm going through my dilema with painted nails I wan to keep them painted but I have an appointment at the VA tommorrow. So I'll stretch it out and take it off in the morning. You keep it going girl Thursday is three days away.

Why won't your wife allow you to have painted toenails? Does she have painted toenails? It is a lot better than getting a tattoo because you can remove it or change the color and nail art. Have you considered just showing your pretty toes to your wife and telling her that you are going to wear painted toenails from now on and that you have no intention of ever taking it off?

:2c: Jamie

[DeniseNJ]

My wife thinks it's Queer for a guy to wear nail polish. Even with light beige or light frost colors she tells me to take it off. This past summer in AC, I had a pedicure and had OPI pearl with a light purple hue put on that really stood out. The nail tech was surprized on the color I choise stating people will notice. I wore the pedi all weekend long in sandles and the wife didn't say much. On the beach laying out, girls walked by and kinda took a look and smiled , they sparkled in the sunalot:heehee:

[JenniferR771]

I understand the situation--do not disrespect your wife. Been there. Done that. You would be destroying future trust--cramping your style in the next few weeks. Or years. Treat her right. Be fair.

So...its cold in NJ...if your feet were cold you could wear socks to bed, I do.

[DaisyG]

I understand the situation--do not disrespect your wife. Been there. Done that. You would be destroying future trust--cramping your style in the next few weeks. Or years. Treat her right. Be fair.

Jennifer, you said it so well; I couldn't agree more. :)

Denise, What a beautiful pedicure! I, too, feel so good when I have painted toenails.

Does your wife paint her toenails? Maybe you could do her pedicure a number of times, each time complimenting her on how pretty it makes her feet. Over time, just perhaps she might relent and grant you the privilege. :hugs:

Daisy

[boardpuppy]

The SO has a "don't see, don't say" or "if I ecnor (sp) it, it will go away" thing going on but I have the cutest Baby Blue toes around. Can hardly wait 2 weeks for my next pedi and I can't guess what color my toes will be then.

Hugs,
Alice

[mykhelee]

I would ask myself if the pedi is worth the relationship. Disgust is a very strong word, it leads to a lack of respect. She might feel that you are disrespecting her as well as your relationship with her by "showing" off your nails. My "most-recent-ex":chatterbox: had a don't tell, don't want to know attitude. I wore slippers and socks all winter long to hide my toes, she did not ask, I did not tell. She was always good about letting me know she did not like it though.
Peace

[Sarah Summerfield]

My toenails are painted 24/7.
I went to doctors yesterday with pink nails

[melissacd]

I used to feel the same way as Jennifer back in the day when I felt that someone else could call the shots on who I was and what I do. While I agree that a marriage needs to consider the input of the partner, that does not give them the right to dictate anything to you.

In the end we have to make our own choices and live with the consequences of those choices. If you want to take the polish off then take it off. If you want to keep it on then keep it on. If your wife gets upset, guess what, she gets upset.

I am so tired of hearing advice that suggests that we stop doing what we clearly want to do just because...fill in the blanks. You are a person with wants, needs, feelings, desires, rights...so why is it that she gets to decide for you when you clearly want to do this. You are not hurting anyone and it makes you happy. What can possibly be wrong with that?

Do whatever you feel you must, just understand that the road to fulfillment and happiness is not through capitulating to the demands of others. It can only be achieved by recognizing who you are and living up to that.

I am not proposing anything more than connecting with your needs and helping her understand its importance to you.

Pick something, anything that you feel you do not want her to do and tell her that she must stop doing it...see how long that lasts if she agrees at all. I suspect that you won't get far on that one so why should you even consider this demand from her.

Sorry for the rant but I am really starting to get my back up about partners who demand we stop doing these things. They have a right to talk about it, they have a right to express their feelings, they have a right to gain an understanding, they have a right to object - they do not have a right to tell you to stop - that is your choice! Now if you choose not to stop that could create lots of problems for you and you have to be prepared to deal with that. If they cannot respect your feelings about the matter, how can that possibly be fair, how can that possibly be right, what kind of a relationship is that????

It is a relationship not a dictatorship.

My 2 cents

Melissa

[Jamie001]

Melissa,

Amen,

I couldn't have said it better myself. The things that we do are part of who we are and we cannot just stop doing them. Our wives should be thankful that we are not alcoholics or drug addicts or have problems that are actually hurtful. Painting your toenails hurts no one and actually looks really good. My toenails are always profesionally pedicured and painted bright red. My wife and I go to the same nail salon, sometimes together and get matching polish. I live in Southern California and always wear women's open toe sandals all year except when I am at work because closed toe shoes are required. I am dressed as a guy when doing this and get a lot of compliments from women on my pretty toes and sandals. I believe that when your wife TELLS YOU to remove the nail polish she is not respecting your feelings. Does your wife wear her toes painted? If she wears her toes painted, do you think she would like it if you forbid her from painting her toes? I believe that you should keep the nail polish on and proudly display it. After all, it is so very pretty and makes you feel really good. Pretty toes will make anyone feel girly. It really is not a big deal and doesn't hurt anyone. We need to stop allowing ourselves to be dictated to regarding what we do with out body.

:2c: Jamie


I used to feel the same way as Jennifer back in the day when I felt that someone else could call the shots on who I was and what I do. While I agree that a marriage needs to consider the input of the partner, that does not give them the right to dictate anything to you.

In the end we have to make our own choices and live with the consequences of those choices. If you want to take the polish off then take it off. If you want to keep it on then keep it on. If your wife gets upset, guess what, she gets upset.

I am so tired of hearing advice that suggests that we stop doing what we clearly want to do just because...fill in the blanks. You are a person with wants, needs, feelings, desires, rights...so why is it that she gets to decide for you when you clearly want to do this. You are not hurting anyone and it makes you happy. What can possibly be wrong with that?

Do whatever you feel you must, just understand that the road to fulfillment and happiness is not through capitulating to the demands of others. It can only be achieved by recognizing who you are and living up to that.

I am not proposing anything more than connecting with your needs and helping her understand its importance to you.

Pick something, anything that you feel you do not want her to do and tell her that she must stop doing it...see how long that lasts if she agrees at all. I suspect that you won't get far on that one so why should you even consider this demand from her.

Sorry for the rant but I am really starting to get my back up about partners who demand we stop doing these things. They have a right to talk about it, they have a right to express their feelings, they have a right to gain an understanding, they have a right to object - they do not have a right to tell you to stop - that is your choice! Now if you choose not to stop that could create lots of problems for you and you have to be prepared to deal with that. If they cannot respect your feelings about the matter, how can that possibly be fair, how can that possibly be right, what kind of a relationship is that????

It is a relationship not a dictatorship.

My 2 cents

Melissa

[Jamie001]

Sarah,

Did the Dr like your pink nails? I get compliments from the office staff at my Dr's.

:hugs: Jamie


My toenails are painted 24/7.
I went to doctors yesterday with pink nails

[Jamie001]

Denise,

Did you come to a decision? I hope that you are going to hold your ground and keep your pretty toes. They are so very pretty and should be on display in those sandals 24/7.

:hugs: Jamie

[DaphneGrey]

Melissa,

Amen,

I couldn't have said it better myself. The things that we do are part of who we are and we cannot just stop doing them. Our wives should be thankful that we are not alcoholics or drug addicts or have problems that are actually hurtful. Painting your toenails hurts no one and actually looks really good. My toenails are always profesionally pedicured and painted bright red. My wife and I go to the same nail salon, sometimes together and get matching polish. I live in Southern California and always wear women's open toe sandals all year except when I am at work because closed toe shoes are required. I am dressed as a guy when doing this and get a lot of compliments from women on my pretty toes and sandals. I believe that when your wife TELLS YOU to remove the nail polish she is not respecting your feelings. Does your wife wear her toes painted? If she wears her toes painted, do you think she would like it if you forbid her from painting her toes? I believe that you should keep the nail polish on and proudly display it. After all, it is so very pretty and makes you feel really good. Pretty toes will make anyone feel girly. It really is not a big deal and doesn't hurt anyone. We need to stop allowing ourselves to be dictated to regarding what we do with out body.

:2c: Jamie

I was going to post a reply about respect in marriage, but I just thought what is the use:Angry3: I just cant get over the whining temper tantrums. If it wasn't so sad it would be laughable! If pink toenails are more important than your marriage by all means do what you must.

Give me a break!

[Jamie001]

Daphne,

I think that you may be missing the point. Pink toenails are not that important that it should be such an issue. Let's consider an important issue. For example drinking or drug use. These are real issues that can cause real problems. Denise loves to have pink toenails and is very proud of them and they don't hurt anyone. That is the point. I believe that it is a control issue. What you do with your body, whether it is shaving your legs or underarms, or wearing nail polish on your toes, is your business! How do you think it would go over if you told your wife that she cannot wear that hairstyle and that you forbid her to wear it, or you forbid her to wear nail polish? I am sure that it would not go over very well. I believe that Denise is hurting no one and should proudly display her pretty pink toenails. It really is not a big deal. I wonder if Denise's wife paints her toenails. If so, then she should understand why it is fun and really looks good. As CD's, we cannot keep caving-in on little issues like this. Painted toenails hurts absolutely no one as compared to much larger issues like I described. Denise should make a stand and proudly wear and display her pretty pedicure because it doesn't harm anyone and Denise's Wife should become more grounded in reality regarding what is really important. If Denise's Wife continues to forbid painted toenails or other things for Denise, it will just cause consternation, contempt, depression for Denise, and other issues such as depression.

:2c: Jamie


I was going to post a reply about respect in marriage, but I just thought what is the use:Angry3: I just cant get over the whining temper tantrums. If it wasn't so sad it would be laughable! If pink toenails are more important than your marriage by all means do what you must.

Give me a break!

[AmberLynn]

Pink nail's might be worth ruining a realtionship over,but self and mutual respect. what is she hurting with her painted toe's. many woman "not cd's" paint there boyfriends nails cause it turn's them on. if your nail's make you feel pretty then tell her that. seriusly,can you love a section of a person no. you love a person in whole,unconditionly. I feel that it is said that many people are so programed and hardwired to the "this is the way thing's are and must be" i wish i lived thru the 70's they had the right idea's. the hippe's not the war monger's

[DaphneGrey]

Daphne,

I think that you may be missing the point. Pink toenails are not that important that it should be such an issue. Let's consider an important issue. For example drinking or drug use. These are real issues that can cause real problems. Denise loves to have pink toenails and is very proud of them and they don't hurt anyone. That is the point. I believe that it is a control issue. What you do with your body, whether it is shaving your legs or underarms, or wearing nail polish on your toes, is your business! How do you think it would go over if you told your wife that she cannot wear that hairstyle and that you forbid her to wear it, or you forbid her to wear nail polish? I am sure that it would not go over very well. I believe that Denise is hurting no one and should proudly display her pretty pink toenails. It really is not a big deal. I wonder if Denise's wife paints her toenails. If so, then she should understand why it is fun and really looks good. As CD's, we cannot keep caving-in on little issues like this. Painted toenails hurts absolutely no one as compared to much larger issues like I described. Denise should make a stand and proudly wear and display her pretty pedicure because it doesn't harm anyone and Denise's Wife should become more grounded in reality regarding what is really important. If Denise's Wife continues to forbid painted toenails or other things for Denise, it will just cause consternation, contempt, depression for Denise, and other issues such as depression.

:2c: Jamie

I don't think I missed the point at all. It is quite obvious that Denise's toenails are a bone of contention with her wife. They may not hurt anyone, but they obviously make her uncomfortable. Perhaps she associates them with being gay, or is worried what others may think. In any case if painted toe nails on her husband is causing stress and anxiety for her it is hurting her. Perhaps she didn't sign on for a husband who wanted pretty feet, did you ever think of that? Does a spouse have a right to an opinion? I think so.

I mean no disrespect to Denise or any one else. But perhaps a little more understanding of her position is in order. For example does her wife know of Denise? If so, have there been discussions about what is OK for her? Are the toenails a deal breaker? Equating gender variant tendencies in a spouse is a far cry from the normal "I don't want you to wear that" discussions we have with our spouses. Lets turn the tables and play on an even field. If we were having this discussion because Denise's wife had stopped shaving her legs, and started wearing butch clothing, or cut her hair like a man. Would you have the same advice? I will jump out on a limb and say I doubt it!

I would also venture to say that Her wife is probably already glad not to be married to a drug addict or an alcoholic! It is a silly comparison at best.

I have said it before and I will say it again if you push your spouse beyond what she can take it will have terrible results. I have seen more marriages and relationships fail because crossdressers just push and push and push! The only thing that works is honest and open discussions and mutual respect! Two things I am sad to say rarely happen.

I am not very well liked around here for a lot of reasons the main one is I tend to speak the unpopular truth. I stick up for wives and SOs because they deserve it. They deserve honesty, as painful as it may be and they deserve respect and yes restraint as difficult as that may be.

I am very lucky I have a supportive spouse, but she has her limits toenails happen to be one of them. so I don't have pretty toe nails very often. But once in a while she will give me a new nail polish and say this would be really cute for you. Do you think that would happen if I pushed the envelope and shoved in her face against her wishes? I can tell you the answer is a big fat NO!

[Sally2005]

I wore my false fingernails all weekend and monday. I took them off because I wasn't ready to explain to certain people about what my costume ways... they just would not understand. My wife didn't say much, but if she did, I would have just told her to not "burst my bubble". You are close enough to halloween to have an excuse if you need one, but you should respect her wish not to be embarrased also and there is nothing wrong with having some fun on your own too.

[Jamie001]

Daphne,

I understand what you are saying but the painted toenails are really no different that wearing earrings. If fact a lot of male athletes, race car drivers, UFC Fighters, and actors wear painted toenails regularly. Denise's wife should check the internet and she will find this. However, if she is the type of wife that won't allow her husband to step out of society's "masculine box" then it wouldn't matter. Nail polish is simply a harmless for of expression like earrings or a tattoo, however it is not permanent like a tattoo. The operative word is "harmless" and it certainly makes Denise feel good about herself. I really believe that CDs need to stand up for themselves regarding simple harmless issues such as this. I guess that you and I can agree to disagree. :)

:2c: Jamie



I don't think I missed the point at all. It is quite obvious that Denise's toenails are a bone of contention with her wife. They may not hurt anyone, but they obviously make her uncomfortable. Perhaps she associates them with being gay, or is worried what others may think. In any case if painted toe nails on her husband is causing stress and anxiety for her it is hurting her. Perhaps she didn't sign on for a husband who wanted pretty feet, did you ever think of that? Does a spouse have a right to an opinion? I think so.

I mean no disrespect to Denise or any one else. But perhaps a little more understanding of her position is in order. For example does her wife know of Denise? If so, have there been discussions about what is OK for her? Are the toenails a deal breaker? Equating gender variant tendencies in a spouse is a far cry from the normal "I don't want you to wear that" discussions we have with our spouses. Lets turn the tables and play on an even field. If we were having this discussion because Denise's wife had stopped shaving her legs, and started wearing butch clothing, or cut her hair like a man. Would you have the same advice? I will jump out on a limb and say I doubt it!

I would also venture to say that Her wife is probably already glad not to be married to a drug addict or an alcoholic! It is a silly comparison at best.

I have said it before and I will say it again if you push your spouse beyond what she can take it will have terrible results. I have seen more marriages and relationships fail because crossdressers just push and push and push! The only thing that works is honest and open discussions and mutual respect! Two things I am sad to say rarely happen.

I am not very well liked around here for a lot of reasons the main one is I tend to speak the unpopular truth. I stick up for wives and SOs because they deserve it. They deserve honesty, as painful as it may be and they deserve respect and yes restraint as difficult as that may be.

I am very lucky I have a supportive spouse, but she has her limits toenails happen to be one of them. so I don't have pretty toe nails very often. But once in a while she will give me a new nail polish and say this would be really cute for you. Do you think that would happen if I pushed the envelope and shoved in her face against her wishes? I can tell you the answer is a big fat NO!

[Susan.]

Denise you have wonderful feet / pedi / sandals. No wonder you want to leave the polish on. But yes, I wouldn't push the wife too hard.

[CherylFlint]

If you don't treat your wife as your best friend, you have a serious relationship problem. Be honest with her. You going around sneaking into the shower is immature, childish, and not acceptable behavior for anyone, let alone a two year old. I'd say it's about time to grow up.