I now know I can quit.....

[Karren H]

But there are other considerations... I've been thinking deep lately... Not something I do often but it all started a couple months ago....

This summer my endo decided to retire.. Never liked him much any way but he managed my medication ok I guess... But he gave us a choice of other local doctors that he would send my records to and I chose a woman doctor near the house.... And then kind of forgot it...

So 2 months ago I realized that my medication was running out and I should make an appointment.. And get my annyal MRI and blood tests.... I call and the next available appointment... December 31st... Crap... My medication runs out in September... And she won't call in a perscription because I'm not a patient yet. And my old doctor is on the beach somewhere... I'm screwed!

If you want to take a break and go use the bathroom I'll pasue here.... Dum dee dum deeee...

Ok.. Fell better?

Ok the poiint is that I've always suspected. that my medication is in part the driving force behind my crossdressing.... It blocks the female horemone Prolactine which my tumor produces.... And by blocking Prolactine it also raises my Testosterone levels... 5 years ago when I started treatment I hadn't crossdressed in 10 years... Hadn't even thought about it but it all came crashing back into my life with a vengence....

So 2 months ago, knowing that my meds won't last, I started reducing the dossage... And basically weening myself off it, knowing that just quitting anything is not good for you..

Ok back to the point.. As I reduced my dossage.... My drive to crossdress started to fade.... Just a little to start but worse (or better?) As time went on... Sunday I took my last pill and I'm now off meds completely... And won't get back on them till 2010... So I'm thinking by Christmas I may nto be crossdressing at all... I actually took 2 boxs of my fem clothing to Goodwill yesterday... Just didn't want to wear them any more... And lately I come here and read some posts and one minute I'm like... I don't care. And then a little later I fell better and post a reply... But its a struggle.. (Probably a struggle reading this and I appologize).

The point.... if I have one is I know I can quit... Its all chemicaly driven... And that's probably why moods change and everything because of chemical changes in our bodies... my only problem with this is.... If I stop medications there are health implications... Basically my tumor starts growing and the prolactin kicks in and by breasts grow.... Which won't do me any good since I won't feel like crossdressing...

So what was my point? I don't know... I just see alll this slipping away and have no control over it.. And while normally it would sadden me.. I don't really care much one way or the other.. Any one have a clue what I'm talking about because I'm starting to wonder myself.. And does anyone else have a simular afliction that is the driving force behine their crossdressing.. I've never heard of anyone else with this.. Kind of a weird and lonely feeling... Ohh well.. Thanks for reading this...

[JamieOH]

a conundrum.. Well, we know that while yes you can stop, you will need to take the meds again... So, lets hope that you can hang in long enough to get back on the meds.. then, hopefully, you'll have nice firm juicy boobs.. hehe.. seriously though, how much is this medicine needed? And whos to say that if you just dont take it anymore ever, that you wont reach a point where you feel even more feminine than you did on the meds? You are in quite a spot my dear..

[weekend woman]

Karren, New doctor on referral from a retiring doctor, 4month wait for 1st appt. it is obvious this person doesn't want or doesn't need new patients. I say find another doctor now. your health is more important than anything else.

[TJ Tresa]

I'm sorry to hear about you having a tumor. I don't think that you should give very much of your clothes and other stuff away though. I mean you will be back on your meds after the first of the year and then you will most likely get the desire to be your feminine slef again. If not then you can rid yourself and quit. However I personnaly would hate for that to happen as I enjoy your commites and lovely avitar pictures.
In any event Karren I wish you the best, as I am sure every one here who knows you does.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm sorry to hear about you having a tumor.
(snip)
In any event Karren I wish you the best, as I am sure every one here who knows you does.

I second both of those emotions

[Sally2005]

I have always believed there is a chemical trigger. I don't know how the whole system works, but I think you can control it to some degree by accepting the CDing as being part of who you are and that in turn seems to reduce a stress that causes the compulsion and femine feelings in the first place. Your medical condition seems to support the theory. Then again...maybe it is the weather and position of the moon...

[Andy66]

it is obvious this person doesn't want or doesn't need new patients. I say find another doctor now. your health is more important than anything else.
I agree. And for gosh sakes, go to Urgent Care or something to get a refill. This is nothing to play with.

Very interesting how your crossdressing seems to be chemically driven, though.

[Karren H]

The drug is bromocriptine...



Bromocriptine lowers prolactin (PRO lak tin) levels. Prolactin is a hormone important for the production of breast milk and for normal fertility in women. Bromocriptine also has effects similar to a chemical called dopamine (DOE pa meen) that occurs naturally in the body. Bromocriptine is used to treat disorders such as amenorrhea (lack of a menstrual period), persistent breast milk production, infertility, and other conditions associated with high prolactin levels caused by prolactin-secreting tumors in women and in men.

It basically keeps the turmor from growing... On it I fell like crossdressing.... Off it I don't.. And I called around and other Endocronologists are alll backed up that far...

The tumor is a uber slow growing one so the chance of it causing problems is small... So my health is not at risk for thiis 2 month period... Just my urge to dress...

[TxKimberly]

Well hell Karen, I don't know if I should say congrats or condolences. lol

[Karren H]

Lol... I'm just glad my urge to play ice hockey isn't dependent on drugs... I'll just play more hockey till the new year!

[Raychel]

I think that I would have to cast my condolences. There is no way that I could live without this part of my life. I am glad you can accept it so well.

[Lorileah]

And I called around and other Endocronologists are alll backed up that far...



wanna get in sooner? Tell them you will be discussing this with your local medical board and a lawyer. The new doctor has the ability to continue the Rx until such time that they can see you or make other arrangements. Funny how the word MAL practice tends to get things rolling. If they really think you need to be seen, then they will work you in before that otherwise they can renew the Rx with your old records.

[Shelby]

Are you positive that this drug is the reason for your crossdressing? If it is then I think you may have discovered something and should have it reported to a medical journal or a marketing dept. I'm not trying to question you, but it seems unlikely that a pill while controlling your tumor would also increase your desire to wear dresses. I've always read your threads and you have always been one of the more outgoing women on this site. You have written about your adventures and shinanigans - again hard to associate that with a pill.

I'm not on any meds and I must admit, there are times, weeks where I have no desire to dress either. I stop by this site and see no interesting threads to comment on and move on. I think this all might be a phase or something in your mind. Well this is at least something for you to think about.

[Wen4cd]

It's really kind of saddening. I hope it doesn't affect your skating as well.

I'm not a big believer in 'chemical crossdressing,' (since chemicals themselves don't know or care how one dresses, being chemicals and all, and without a symbolic and value-assigning mind to apply meaning, 'feminine' means nothing to them) but I know they affect moods in general, and can sort of 'take all the fun out of' things people usually enjoy. But a lot of crossdressing is a celebration, and it can sometimes pick up a mood too.

I hope in the meantime of this period, you will still think on people here as friends. I have friends I'm afraid to talk to in certain moods, because some moods aren't meant for some friends to witness :(

I always knew I could 'quit,' but to me it would be like quitting exercising and letting myself go to seed, something tragic, like a loss of faith.

Keep that tumor issue taken care of though. I wouldn't suggest plying around with something like that.

[dancinginthedark]

Damn Karren it's never anything simple with you is it? Coal mining in evening gowns and such. :eek: :heehee: Of course I am teasing you. Figured I should say that out loud since you don't know me and can't hear all the voices in my head...shame that, cuz they would surely be assuring you how nice and normal I am if you could hear them. :D Of course if you could that would indicate a whole new set of problems for you......

Anywho, I hate to hear that you aren't feeling very "Karren" like of late and I hope like hell you get sorted sooner rather than later. I don't much care if that means you back in front of the camera or skating your arse off darling just so you're healthy and happy. I have kinda' gotten used to seeing your smiling face around the joint and it just wouldn't seem right if you were gone.

dancin

~

[Fran Moore]

The party's not over Karren! We would definately miss you and your humor, and don't go purging to Goodwill, just box the stuff up and stick it out in the garage until you get your situation solved. Most of us have had "breaks" in our dressing routines, and then inevitably start up again (it never really goes away now, does it).

The bigger issue, of course, is your health, and I'm with Lorileah, short of going "postal" there must be a way to ensure that your meds are still made available to you. Perhaps with all the folks on this site, there is a doctor in the house (or lawyer) who can give you some good advice on how to proceed towards a successful outcome.

I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers.


Suzanne:hugs:

[sherri]

To walk away from CDing for good is not a tragedy, might even be best for some people in some situations. I mean, it's a bag of mixed blessings at best. And I've never bought the notion that we "can't" quit; we humans can do all sorts of things if we have to. But unless money is of no object to you, I strongly urge you to think of it as a sabbatical (as opposed to quitting) for at least 6 months before purging. Box everything up and put it in storage if that makes you feel better, but give your urge (or lack of one) some time before taking drastic steps.

About 15 months ago I decided to quit, not out of necessity but for emotional reasons, and I got rid of everything, and I mean everything. I had been on this forum a long time, was fully aware that purging is usually a bad idea, and had thought I was immune to such mercurial silliness, but when my little internal melodrama hit, I ignored all that and purged anyway. I didn't make any announcements or have any going away parties or seek anyone's advice, I just did it. And sure enough, a few months later three realizations hit me:


The desire had returned and there was no compelling reason not to resume that part of me; and,
What a dumbass I'd been to purge; and,
Wardrobe was only part of the issue, and not even the most important part.

My femme life has to cope with some budgetary constraints, so it's been slow going building up a wardrobe etc again. You may not have that limitation, in which case it may not matter much what you do with your things. Maybe the more important consideration is that your current mood may pass.

But I'm puzzled by something: when your female hormone level rises your desire to CD wanes, and when your testosterone level rises your desire to CD increases? It seems like the scale is 180 out of phase ...

[scarlett]

Karren I sometimes have a problem seeing my cardiologist due to travel for my job. It's hard to see her without a serious lead time. Thus I sometimes run low on my heart medication. My GP however is very accessable , He writes it for me with a phone call and calls it to a drug store where ever I am.
See your GP, explain the situation. They can write you a prescription for enough to get by. If not you need a new GP.

[ginafaye]

i just hope you get as well as you can be. whatever works to keep you happy and in good health is what you should do,but we are here to listen and give suport where we can........ginafaye

[Josey]

You have been an inspiration to me since joing this site. This fact is also obvious when I read all the threads written here today. I can't conceive the notion of not hearing of your adventures or antidotes in the future. Whatever happens, my bests wishes go out to you!

[Rebecca Jayne]

Karen how sad, but maybe there might be an alternative to ice hockey.
There may be some combination of natural herbs, teas, et al that in a large enough quanity may produce the same effect as the medicine.

[Fab Karen]

Lol... I'm just glad my urge to play ice hockey isn't dependent on drugs... I'll just play more hockey till the new year!
If the drug raises your testosterone levels, then maybe without it your killer hockey instinct would lower.:eek::)

Well if without the meds you look at your clothes and all the cute shoes & make-up and are COMPLETELY & thoroughly turned off by it, then your theory is probably correct in your case. Even though it'd mean seeing your wife doing cartwheels, don't throw all your stuff away right now. Time will tell.

[Nadia-Maria]

So do I. I know I can quit.:tongueout

But I just DON'T WANT to quit. :battingeyelashes:

[Jonianne]

.......So what was my point? I don't know... I just see alll this slipping away and have no control over it.. And while normally it would sadden me.. I don't really care much one way or the other.. Any one have a clue what I'm talking about because I'm starting to wonder myself........

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I imagine you could press the issue like Lorelia said.

I remember Holly going through a similar time, but I don't know if it was chemically driven.

We are always glad to listen Karren.


.......maybe it is the weather and position of the moon...

Actually, it's probably the lack of sunspots that's messing everything up.

[Katrina]

Interesting, Karren. Hmmmm...what size shoe are you??? :D

Well, you could alternate being on the drug and off it. Off for a while to grow some breasts, then back on it to take advantage of the breasts...:D

If I could take a medication to make me not want to crossdress or be a woman, I would in a heartbeat.

[Kate Simmons]

Not a bad place to be in my opinion Karren, except for the potential health implications. I do know you are good either way though and have the best of both worlds. The bottom line is I care about you as my friend and wish you the best. I'm not going to sit here and mourn the "loss" of your femme self as you are my friend either way. You are one of the best examples here of adaptation and are a good role model of being a full spectrum person. That is no easy feat my friend, especially in today's crazy mixed-up world.:)

[Joanne f]

Fist of all you should not come off your medications without proper supervision or advice from a doctor, i do not know anything about the ones that you are taking so i cannot say much about the side effects but coming off some especially when you have been on them long term can have some very unpleasant side effects so please find that out first before you take this into your own hands.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I have always read your contributions to the forums and respected all that you have said Karen. Advice that you have given has helped me very much. I have always admired your make-up and elegance in portraits. Take care, look good and remember a lot of people here appreciate your generosity and advice. I say, like so many here..... find another Doctor.

[Karren H]

Are you positive that this drug is the reason for your crossdressing? If it is then I think you may have discovered something and should have it reported to a medical journal or a marketing dept. I'm not trying to question you, but it seems unlikely that a pill while controlling your tumor would also increase your desire to wear dresses. I've always read your threads and you have always been one of the more outgoing women on this site. You have written about your adventures and shinanigans - again hard to associate that with a pill.

I'm not on any meds and I must admit, there are times, weeks where I have no desire to dress either. I stop by this site and see no interesting threads to comment on and move on. I think this all might be a phase or something in your mind. Well this is at least something for you to think about.

It's not the pill.... it what it does to my body chemistry... Bromocriptine blocks Prolactine which blocks testosterone... So my T levels raise and my crossdressing comes back.... A female hormone kills my crossdressing and a male hormone makes it come back?



If the drug raises your testosterone levels, then maybe without it your killer hockey instinct would lower.:eek::)

Well if without the meds you look at your clothes and all the cute shoes & make-up and are COMPLETELY & thoroughly turned off by it, then your theory is probably correct in your case. Even though it'd mean seeing your wife doing cartwheels, don't throw all your stuff away right now. Time will tell.

Damn.... I haven't scored a goal in 2 months!! sigh....... and I started playing ice hockey 5 years ago after a 25 year off season.... damn damn damn

[Stephanie Stephens]

You have been an inspiration to me since joing this site. This fact is also obvious when I read all the threads written here today. I can't conceive the notion of not hearing of your adventures or antidotes in the future. Whatever happens, my bests wishes go out to you!

Dido... This site will not be the same if you leave.

[TGMarla]

Karren, I think it's a little different for everyone, but there are times that I feel the same way. Whereas I've been doing this thing pretty regularly since I was 12, and I don't have any tumors that I know about, my desires, or my crossdressing libido if you will, comes and goes.

Recently, my wife took a vacation from work, and her being home all the time really cut into my opportunities to dress up. And the less I did it, the less I had a desire to do it. And there were a lot of other things I needed to take care of as well. But I noticed that my desires to crossdress were fading, and that I didn't really care one way or the other.

I've often wondered what it's going to be like once we're both retired. When I have almost no opportunity to do this any more....what then? I don't know. But maybe, just maybe, by then I really won't care any more. Whatever happens, I wish you the best. One day at a time, and one foot in front of the other.

[abigailf]

I am sorry hear of the tumor and glad you are not in any current danger. However, Lori makes a good point, use leverage to get the doctor to either see you or give you the prescription.



Are you positive that this drug is the reason for your crossdressing? If it is then I think you may have discovered something and should have it reported to a medical journal or a marketing dept.

I could see the commercials now:
"Ask YOUR doctor about bromocriptine."
"warning: do not take if pregnant, blah blah blah, in some patients it may cause a desire to crossdress ...

Actually, the drug counters the effects of anti-psychotics and can worsen psychotic symptoms. So Karren, this drug is only emphasizing a drive you already have. Just hang on to that part of you that is Karren.

I wish you the best.

Abigail

[PortiaHoney]

If you stop posting and dressing where will I get my inspiration aned sense of order in the universe from.

See how I turned that around to ME!.

Look. Whatever your decision and the outcome, I wish you every happiness and a long and fullfilled life. Dressed or undressed you will always be Karren to me.

And good luck on that Ice Hockey thingy - whatever that is?

What is "ice"? Know what "hockey" is!

Take care girlfriend - or should that be "boyfriend"? Aw, I'm confused - still!

Portia :-)

[Karren H]

I

I could see the commercials now:
"Ask YOUR doctor about bromocriptine."
"warning: do not take if pregnant, blah blah blah, in some patients it may cause a desire to crossdress ...

Actually, the drug counters the effects of anti-psychotics and can worsen psychotic symptoms. So Karren, this drug is only emphasizing a drive you already have. Just hang on to that part of you that is Karren.

I wish you the best.

Abigail

Lol. I did find a few studies where Bromocriptine or a derivitive caused obsessive behavior uncluding crossdressing in men who had never ever though of it before... Like a pink fog pill.. Come to think of it over the past 5 years my wife has complained that I have been obsessing over many things... My weight... My hair..... My truck... Ice hockey.... Crossdressing...

[Karen564]

1st off Karren (Mom) , I'm sorry to hear you have any tumor, just hoping you can get some meds quick as you can, OK..
It's makes me wonder if Spirotone or a Dutasteride would help you, maybe it would stop the tumor & enlarge your breast at the same time..

I hope your only purging the old clothes though, maybe in the back of your mind you know you'll need more room in a couple months for a completely new wardrobe...

But geez, You, giving up cross-dressing???
I cant believe my ears...
Whats next!!!, dont go on telling me your now having an irresistible urge to wear Jeans!

Because I dont think I can handle all this in one day ...:heehee:

:love:

[Holly]

Karren, although your self-diagnosis may be accurate, I wouldn't bet the farm on it just yet. The power of suggestion is as powerful (or more so) than many drugs. I've been reading your posts here for a long, long, time and one thing that I have noticed over the years is a deep seated contentment in what you do and a self-recognition of who you are (something I have admired in you :)).

As for your endo, I would call her back and firmly demand that she refill the perscription at least for the period until she can see you. If she still refuses, I would follow up with a visit to the medical board and/or an attorney. She accepted you as a patient and she has a duty to see that your care continues. Best wishes.

[SherriePall]

Karren -- Most importantly is your health. That comes first. Your dressing is less important. I know that I will miss you if you aren't around here. Afterall, it's nice to talk to someone from the west coast.

[Kendra Irene]

Karren, sorry to hear that you have to wait that long to get an appointment.
Not being a doctor, I can't help you with your prescription, but I can prescribe (read suggest) that you book off this afternoon and go shopping. Preferably at sales.

Note: you must try on at least one dress or skirt/blouse combination.

Hugs
Kendra

[Ruth]

I agree with Holly. I am surprised that the doctors intend to let your long-term medication lapse during the switch-over. Doesn't sound like good practice to me, regardless of the CDing implications. I know next to nothing about your condition, but logic says that if there has been no change in the condition, there should be no change in the medication.
But I wish you all the best whatever, and these boards would be duller if you were to leave.
Love,
Ruth

[Illusions Of Amy]

Wow, really crazy stuff. Karren, you're definitely one of my biggest inspirations of anyone here, even to the point of quite possibly inspiring a character in my song cycle (Karren Of The Coal Mine - that has an *awesome* ring to it, IMO). But whatever happens, I wish you the very best. :)

[Karren H]

I'm pretty sure that giving a non-patient a perscription is frowned upon by the DEP and the doctors insurance company.. Pluss its really not an issue in my mind..

But the effects have started already.. I just convinced my wife to let me come help her at the lumber store at noon vs going out to the halloween store and look for a new fem costume on clearence for next year.. Lol. Maybe I can get a new power tool? :)

[Vieja]

Karren surely you could go to a walk in clinic and see a doctor just to get your meds.

Vieja

[kristinacd55]

Lol... I'm just glad my urge to play ice hockey isn't dependent on drugs... I'll just play more hockey till the new year!

Karren, you got to get those drugs & quick. Who will I talk about sports with on this crossdressing forum??? :eek:

[Wen4cd]

Fading...fast.....got to ....fight it...

[Lorileah]

Ok this should clear it all up. As we all know Cholesterol is the main precursor for steroids, with magic conversions using simple at home easy to make hormones, cholesterol is changed into progesterone. Progesterone converts into...well the chart explains it all

101076

Notice how the male hormone can go to the female side (usually without repercussions but sometimes societal pressure keeps them hidden in secret cells called closets) but estrogen does not try to become testosterone. Thus I think we CAN see where Karren by increasing testosterone levels would like male dominated sports like Ice Hockey AND have the excess T converted to an estrogenic so that afterward she would like to be pretty (and use the make up to cover those bruises from the game)

Got it? Quiz tomorrow

(and damnit Karren get your meds...don't mess around with this)

[Andy66]

I'm not trying to question you, but it seems unlikely that a pill while controlling your tumor would also increase your desire to wear dresses.
It's actually pretty amazing the effects some medicines can have on a person's moods or mind - some side effects that doctors and drug companies won't even admit exist. I for one believe it's totally possible, especially a medicine that controls hormone functions like milk production.

Karren, I hope for your sake you get a prescription refill as soon as possible, but I would be curious to hear about your physical and mood changes if you can't.

[unclejoann]

Karren, you should document the frequency and type of obsession you are going thru on a daily basis throughout this period. It is fascinating and you might actually reveal something interesting by staying on top of this in a methodical documented way.

Take care.

[Ann D Bluebird]

Ok this should clear it all up. As we all know Cholesterol is the main precursor for steroids, with magic conversions using simple at home easy to make hormones, cholesterol is changed into progesterone.

....

....Notice how the male hormone can go to the female side (usually without repercussions but sometimes societal pressure keeps them hidden in secret cells called closets) but estrogen does not try to become testosterone. Thus I think we CAN see where Karren by increasing testosterone levels would like male dominated sports like Ice Hockey AND have the excess T converted to an estrogenic so that afterward she would like to be pretty (and use the make up to cover those bruises from the game)


Ah, now that does help answer my puzzle with Karren's experiences. Thanks!

And ditto with

(and damnit Karren get your meds...don't mess around with this) I do hope you can get it all sorted out sooner rather than later, whether or not you ever do quit. :hugs: We don't WANT to loose you here Karren

[Karren H]

Too bad I'm on Litator, Lorileah.... too so my Cholosterol is uber low.. Lol. But I did find an article that shows people on statins are mopre likely to survivd H1N1!! So I will live if I get the swine flu even if not pretty...

Appearently one of the Defensmen on the team we pummpled Monday night felt my pain because he slashed one of my wrists with his stick!! Either that or it was a desparate attempt to get my attention and ask me something about crossdressing? I don't know.. Left a nasty blue bruse... And me without any foundation to cover it up.. Sigh.

[Philippa Jane]

Karren you do need to get on those meds super quick.
It appears to be affecting your typing or could it be making you dyslexic. I actually got that word right first time spelling wise and I am so proud of myself.
I would seriously miss you if you were not here to post so please go get some drugs.
PJ

[suchacutie]

Karen, to have one doctor hand you off to another doctor without the appropriate medical bridge is not ethical. To be honest, there are lawyers that handle this kind of situation.

Please, get to a clinic, get ahold of the previous practice if possible, or even go the emergency room where they can get one of their specialists to handle the time before your "new" Dr. takes over.

Take care of yourself first, and then you'll have time to ponder your feminine self :)

be very well!!!

tina

[Tina B.]

Karren, you know your wife will be very disappointed with you if you get back on your meds and start dressing again, whats a little tumor if it makes she who must be obeyed happy?
But really, all any of us really want is to see a great person like you get what you need to be healthy and happy and if that makes you want to dress up and go shopping so be it!
Just take care of yourself.
Tina

[claire2454]

Hi Karen

if you go it would be sad as i do enjoy reading your throghts as they mostly make me laugh.
so i for one hope that you come through this and get back to your old self soon.

:hugs: claire

[charlie]

Hello Karren!
You are our comedy voice of reason usually. What a serious post. I'm sorry to hear of your tumor and hope that it will not cause you any problems in the future. As to stopping dressing....is that good or bad in your mind? If your new doctor gave you a different medicine and you did not care about dressing anymore would that be a good thing? I ask this because if I had the choice I would stop. That would certainly make my wife happier (and from your past posts your wife too). In any event, stay healthy, happy and content!

[kateyliz]

Take a break from this forum if you must, but do what you need to do for your health and come back to us if the need strikes you. Hugs, Kathy

[Karren H]

I've said this before and a few people have gotten upset with me but if my crossdressing just went away I would not care.. To not have to maintain two wardrobes and all the other hobby related stuff would just make life so much simpler.... Even though I totally accept my crossdressing its from an understanding that I know it will not totally go away.. Yeah I have fun crossdressing but I also have fun doing just about everything in my life.... My happiness is independent of the clothing I wear...

I am happy and will continue to be more than happy................ As long as I can keep playing hockey fore ever! Anyone can dress up like a girl but not everyone can score on a slapp shot from the point through the goalies five hole? Eah? Lol.

Cue the big smile with 3 front teeth missing! :D

[Ralph]

Karren, whatever ends up happening... stay in touch! Your humor has been one of the things that keeps me coming back here when I otherwise don't know why I bother.

I do hope that you're able to keep that nasty tumor under control. That just ain't fun :sad:

[sherri52]

Karren it's time to find another doctor. This new one seems too busy. If you were on your death bed she would give you an appt. in 5 weeks. Don't get rid of your clothes you still might want them later.

[Karren H]

Awww..... Don't worry... I'm not on my death bed... I just played ice hockey twice this week so I am uber fit for my age....... reminds me that playoffs start next week.....

[Lorileah]

reminds me that playoffs start next week.....

Really??? Then the Avs are first place!!! Yaya Stanley cup here we come!!!! Whoo hoo you Pens didnt stand a chance. Booyah In your face! Seems like the season was awful short tho

[Karren H]

The Avs ar in thrid... Behind San Jose and the penns in first! :). And it my playoffs.. Lol. The bunch of old guys (and girls) trying not to get hurt league..

[Tina2]

My desires to crossdress come and go. When I decided to stop fighting it a month or so ago, I was deep in pink fog. Right now I'm not all that interested in dressing. I expect it to come back at some point and then fade again.

I think you should talk to your new doctor about this side effect.

[Karren H]

Funny but last night my wife was having issues with her heart medications... Her doctor goes over seas for a month in Nov the same time her perscription runs out... and I mentioned that I was oiff mine and wouldn't start again till January... And she replied "yeah but at least you won't die if you don't get yours".

All depends on your definition of death... Or who's dying.. Lol

[Sarah Doepner]

Oh hell Karren,

Those of us on the forum can't assume what will work best for you. It appears that the vast majority of us respect you and would be saddened by your leaving the CD scene. However, given a choice between knowing you were out there healthy and playing hockey and having you commenting on makeup while a tumor is growing in your body, I'll go for the occasional hockey update thank you.

Althought our worlds revolve around our own lives, you have changed their orbits just a little bit. Take care of yourself and we will just have to improve our skills and develop a sense of humor for those spells when you may be otherwise occupied.

[JulieC]

Karren, I wanted to touch on something that I'm not sure is being seen by others in your posts. Shelby touched on it to some degree, but I want to amplify it.

You're basing your conclusions here on two phases in your life. The first is when you went on the drug; ten years of no CDing, suddenly BAM it's back with a vengeance. And now, going off the drug and your CDing urge goes way down.

Coincidence? Perhaps not. But, we all go through phases. It is entirely possible your up/down swing matched with those moments.

Further, and I think more importantly being missed here....

You say CDing came back with a vengeance when you went on the drug. Came back. That means it was there before the drug. This part of you existed before you want on the drug at some point in your life, is this not true?

If so, to claim it is entirely chemically driven by an pill I think is flawed reasoning. It might be influenced by a pill, but it isn't present in you because of a pill.

I've thought often about you, and the situation you find yourself in with your wife. I know you try hard to be a good husband. I was just recently wondering what happens when you hit retirement, and are no longer travelling for work? Opportunities for you to express your femme side will be curtailed dramatically. What then? I wish I had the answers, and I'm sure you do to times a million.

As noted by many, you've been an inspiration to many here. But, you have to be an inspiration to yourself first; you have to be true to yourself. What is that true self? Only you can know. I would just be very, very careful to ascribe to a pill what is most likely a definitive part of you. "Karren" isn't contained in a pill bottle, in my opinion.

[Sarah Michelle]

I think there is some significance in your observation that the new medication coincided with a renewed urge to crossdress. You acknowledge that you were crossdressing before. Perhaps it is chemical, perhaps the chemicals just resurrected an existing but suppressed preference.
you are unique in your combination of crossdressing and male activities. I haven't read of many others in these posts that are so clearly delineated. perhaps the enhanced testosterone is driving the male activities and without it you would be a whole lot more feminine more of the time. [in which case you could play for the Leafs, they could use a good woman].

[Philippa Jane]

Hi Karren
Yours was the first post I looked for tonight.
Anybody who can get 1752 hits on one subject within 24 hours is far too popular to leave.
That's probably a bigger score than you will ever get in a life time of pounding the puck out of that little disc.
Stay well.
PJ

[Karren H]

Althought our worlds revolve around our own lives, you have changed their orbits just a little bit. Take care of yourself and we will just have to improve our skills and develop a sense of humor for those spells when you may be otherwise occupied.

Damn you Sarah.... I don't get emo but I had to seek out a box of tissues after reading this... I'm so touched and confused... Crying isn't my style... To me I just have a big mouth and love chatting about crossdressing and life and hockey... And I do it for my onw personal gratification... Guess I like to hear myself talk..... Never ever expecting anyone else to tag along for the ride.....

[carhill2mn]

If any hormone or other drug had ever been found to be causal re: crossdressing I think that there would have been a whole lot of literature, studies, etc. proclaiming such.

[Jaclyn NM]

Dear Karren,
I'm very sorry to hear about you're problem, and while I can't add much to what has already been said, I would like to say a few things. First of all, like you, if my urge to crossdress disappeared, it wouldn't upset me, in fact it would make my life a lot easier. In fact I had not crossdressed in over 15 years, until I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year and a half ago. After my surgery, which was very successful, my urge to crossdress came back with a vengeance. At that point I reassembled my wardrobe, and got fully into my present state of crossdressing, which included joining this forum. I don't know what the relationship is between removal of my prostate, and my urge to crossdress, but I have to believe that it is more than just coincidence. And since my prostate is gone for good (hopefully along with the cancer cells), I guess I'll just keep on crossdressing. It sure beats dying of cancer. And in my present state, I enjoy my crossdressing immensely. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that the most important thing is your health, and you must do everything you can to protect that. And if that means you lose your crossdressing desires, and stop visiting us, while we'll miss you, at least we'll know you're taking care of yourself. Good luck, and take care.

[LisaM]

Interesting post, Karen!

I am both happy and sad for you. I wish I could pinpoint my reasons for wanting to be a woman but I can't. It has just always been there.

Your post makes me think about the question: If there was a pill that could make you stop wanting to be a woman, would you take it? My answer has always been -- No.

[DinaMature]

Karren, I'll first echo many and say you're one of the brightest stars in our constellation and with your absence our lives will all be a little dimmer.

Having said that, I want to emphasize (my own opinion) that your health should be of primary importance. We'll each bumble along, with or without you.
But only you know what you need or what is best for you.

That the health care system could leave someone with the threat of a tumor unattended for so long is just WRONG!
Other recourses have been suggested, but again, you know what is best for you.

Like most here, I hope you'll still warm our lives with your insight and generous humor, and also offer whenever you're able to stop in again, we've always got a spot saved for you.

[Karren H]

Karren, I wanted to touch on something that I'm not sure is being seen by others in your posts. Shelby touched on it to some degree, but I want to amplify it.

You're basing your conclusions here on two phases in your life. The first is when you went on the drug; ten years of no CDing, suddenly BAM it's back with a vengeance. And now, going off the drug and your CDing urge goes way down.

Coincidence? Perhaps not. But, we all go through phases. It is entirely possible your up/down swing matched with those moments.

Further, and I think more importantly being missed here....

You say CDing came back with a vengeance when you went on the drug. Came back. That means it was there before the drug. This part of you existed before you want on the drug at some point in your life, is this not true?

If so, to claim it is entirely chemically driven by an pill I think is flawed reasoning. It might be influenced by a pill, but it isn't present in you because of a pill.

I've thought often about you, and the situation you find yourself in with your wife. I know you try hard to be a good husband. I was just recently wondering what happens when you hit retirement, and are no longer travelling for work? Opportunities for you to express your femme side will be curtailed dramatically. What then? I wish I had the answers, and I'm sure you do to times a million.

As noted by many, you've been an inspiration to many here. But, you have to be an inspiration to yourself first; you have to be true to yourself. What is that true self? Only you can know. I would just be very, very careful to ascribe to a pill what is most likely a definitive part of you. "Karren" isn't contained in a pill bottle, in my opinion.

Julie..... Being an engineer with three data points I can draw a lline and some conclusions from that line... Right or wrong... And yeah I have always been a crossdresser but I theorize that the hormones from the slow growing tumor suppressed my desire to crossdress over a 10 year period... As it did my sex drive.. I was never big into sex and never really wanted to admit that sex and crossdressing were related... But they both went away and came back at the same time...

So when once I started taking medication for my condition and my chemical balance was restored it all came back... Maybe 10 years of repressed crossdressing was spewed out into a short period of time... Causing uber pink fog? I was out of control for sure..... but I can draw enough inferences to generate an equation.. Real or not..

On retirement.... I have been thinking about this more and more... And always end up with the same conclusion... Assuming that everything stays the same on the home front... And I'd be a fool to assume anything different let along things getting better from and acceptance level.... When I retire.... Karren will retire.... There is no other possible solution...

So basically I'm looking at counting down to maybe 3 years left to crossdress at best... After watching some close friends get laid off this morning.... After lunch I would have bet it was 3 hours... But I live to fight... Aka work... Another day...

[SuzanneBender]

Lol... I'm just glad my urge to play ice hockey isn't dependent on drugs... I'll just play more hockey till the new year!

Karen first I must say you are in my prayers. Tell that damn Doctor to get you in or your next appointment will be with a lawyer! It is amazing how we are nothing more than a walking bag of chemicals and hormones. One little change can make such a difference.

Make sure that you are wearing a mouth piece while playing hockey. You must protect that beautiful smile. :D

[TonyaV]

I just leaned of your condition. I'll include you in my daily prayers girl. You strike me as a strong one and a fighter - I don't worry about you.

As far as what you're feeling. It seems I'm experiencing similar symptoms and withdraws myself, although not prescription medication induced. I had thought it was just in my head. But reading your situation got me thinking. A couple of years ago (almost), when I hinted to my wife about my CD'ing, and after the initial supposed acceptance, and then her questioning my gayness and masculinity, etc... and her desire of me not doing any of it or she'd be forced to out me to the kids in an embarrassing way, I had decided to attempt to suppress my desires. I started going back to the gym regularly, and put myself on muscle supplements to build up my macho self physically where I'd not find myself anymore feminine, at least in the mirror, and therefore be discouraged to CD again. To make along story short, it seemed to work great, so for all that period, up until last month, I felt no desire to dress-up. Then, business got busy, and did not have time to frequent the gym as often, and I stopped taking the supplements, and started dieting to lose my gut fat and expose the almost evident six-pack. Then, last week, I had the urge to dress, stronger that ever. So I did last week.

After reading your story I decided to put myself to the test. Today, I started supplements again and working out. We'll have to see how I feel soon.

Is it all just a coincidence? Or is there truth to it? I hope we'll find out.

[joandher]

Karen I cant say a lot that hasn't already been said only that I along with a few 1000 others will miss that cheeky smile and inspirational posts, my darling I wish you well, which ever road you take

take good care of yourself and god bless

:love::love:

J-JAY

[Karren H]

you are unique in your combination of crossdressing and male activities. I haven't read of many others in these posts that are so clearly delineated. perhaps the enhanced testosterone is driving the male activities and without it you would be a whole lot more feminine more of the time. [in which case you could play for the Leafs, they could use a good woman].

Lol... The leafs need a lot of things.. Maybe Jim Balsillie will buy them and move them to Hamilton? :D

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Karren, if the tumor grows, isnt this bad? Forget about the diminished desire to crossdress. If that were me, I would not feel comfortable stopping medication. And you did the right thing tapering off. The scary thing is that some people may not have done that because some medications cannot be stopped abruptly. I find this disturbing that you are left in limbo and allowed to have your meds run out due to the fact this doctor cannot see you. Please see what you can do to get a refill that will last until your next appointment.

[cd_jamie]

atleast the tumer is not a real big deal. damn doctors are all on the defensive because of the lawyers. weening your self off the meds was smart. going on what you are saying the drug changes your body chemistry enough to increase your urge to dress aas Karren. if you dont have the desire to cd at this point and dont feel its one of those natural breaks and being Karren is not important to you maybe the new doc can give you something else tht works. just don't forget us here if Karren is a thing of the past. I would miss reading your posts:love:

Jamie

[flatlander_48]

So what was my point? I don't know... I just see alll this slipping away and have no control over it.. And while normally it would sadden me.. I don't really care much one way or the other.. Any one have a clue what I'm talking about because I'm starting to wonder myself.. And does anyone else have a simular afliction that is the driving force behine their crossdressing.. I've never heard of anyone else with this.. Kind of a weird and lonely feeling... Ohh well.. Thanks for reading this...

For the time being, I'd say just let it sit for a while and see what happens. There seems to be significant consequences both ways, so let it steep and what what falls out. Sometimes not consciously thinking about something allows some unconscious processes to occur and we reach a conclusion. We may not know how we got there, but the conclusion can feel about as strong as a rigorous analysis.

Good Luck and Better Days Ahead...

[Samantha B L]

Karren,I've never actually met you. I don't want you to stop being Karren but that's up to you. I know from your posts you have a wife and kids and a good job and lots of stuff to do. In other words you'll still be busy even if you don't dress. I think you should take your meds. That business about the tumor sounds very daunting. You posted about that and the meds once a long time ago. I was very surprised by it all. Without intending to butter you up you're a real go-getter for someone with that kind of health problem. A health problem like that would really subdue a lot of people into inactivity. I will miss your lively and informative threads and posts and everytime I go by Kohl's or T.J.Maxx I will know that "Karren was here". I've looked at some of your makeup tutorials and I've looked at a couple of your albums. I guess what I'm saying is,of course,I don't want you to stop being Karren. But more importantly,it wouldn't serve any purpose for something disastrous to happen to you because you hadn't been taking that medication for awhile.

[SuzanneBender]

Karren I know I already posted, but OMG your post is really getting to me. Since joining this wonderful sorority I have looked upon you as one of the wise beautiful big sisters in our house. The fact that you are talking about hanging up your heels for your skates has really rocked my world. I just want to call your Doctor myself and tell her, “There are hundreds maybe thousands of crossdressers out here that need you to get Karren back on her meds stat!” If someone as put together and well grounded as Karren Hutton can give it up then what about those of us that have just taken our first few steps in the sunlight…..but alas darling this isn’t about us. It is about you. We are blessed by your inspiring posts and witty commentary. We hope that it is not over, but if it has to be we are thankful for your friendship. Heck girl you even made hockey seem femme!:love:

[Karren H]

Well I hope your happy now!!!!

I went ahead called my Primary Care Physician this morning and left a detailed voice mail about what happened and what I need and that we need to talk about a bridge perscription to get me through to January... Hopefully they call back... You guys are truley a pain in the ass..... But I love ya any way! Thanks..... :).

[Lorileah]

You guys are truley a pain in the ass..... But I love ya any way! Thanks..... :).

Then our work here is through. C'mon girls we have evil to fight elsewhere now. *dramatic toss of satin cape* Dang I broke a nail

It is just that we care about you Karren, where else can we get this kind of dichotomy? The luscious feminine rose and the macho slapshot thorn?

[docrobbysherry]

Wait Karen and Lorileah! I mite need your advise! I'm NOT a medical doc!

I've always been suspicious of starting DCing in my 50's. After a life of never having even ONE CD thot before then! It was ABOUT the same time I started taking meds for my PROSTATE! I take Finasteride and Terazosine!

Is it possible those r at least a CONTRIBUTING factor to my CDing?:brolleyes:

And, Karen, like SO MANY OTHERS HERE, I wish u ALL THE BEST! But, please don't leave us!:sad: We'll miss u like crazy!

[Lorileah]

Wait Karen and Lorileah! I mite need your advise! I'm NOT a medical doc!

I've always been suspicious of starting DCing in my 50's. After a life of never having even ONE CD thot before then! It was ABOUT the same time I started taking meds for my PROSTATE! I take Finasteride and Terazosine!



lets see...side effects constipation or diarrhea, insomnia or sleepiness, anorexia or excess hunger, and the desire to wear a dress. There you have it DRS...it is the meds. Truthfully, even though they are better than the old estrogenics that were used to treat BPH, there is still some anti-testosterone in them. But c'mon sister, you know it isn't the drugs...its the post dressing beta-endorphin rush.

:eek: You aren't a doctor??? but but your name...says doc...:eek:

[Karren H]

Lol. Did I mention I'm also on Lipator?? And my feet have been shrinking... Went from an 11 male to a 9 while my cholestrol went from 250 to 130!! Must be a corelation in there somewhere? Anti fat feet? Don't mind that I started skating every week and bind my feet into hockey skates. Lol.

[JulieC]

And my feet have been shrinking... Went from an 11 male to a 9

Is this where I mutter expletives at you? :D

[Karren H]

If any hormone or other drug had ever been found to be causal re: crossdressing I think that there would have been a whole lot of literature, studies, etc. proclaiming such.


Like this?

http://mobile.journals.lww.com/clinicalneuropharm/_layouts/oaks.journals.mobile/abstractviewer.aspx?year=2002&issue=07000&article=00008



Reversible Transvestic Fetishism in a Man With Parkinson's Disease Treated With Selegiline

Riley, David E. Clinical Neuropharmacology . 25(4):234-237, July/August 2002.


Dopaminergic therapy in patients with Parkinson's disease may change the quality as well as the quantity of sexual interest and behavior. This 72-year-old man had a 37-year history of Parkinson's disease treated with a right thalamotomy and was later treated with levodopa for more than 20 years. Selegiline (5 mg twice daily) was added for motor fluctuations. He developed a frequent impulse to wear women's clothing but did not act on this impulse until his wife died over a year later. He then began to dress in women's clothing an average of once per week. He stated he had never thought of cross-dressing previously.


Or this.... http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/Pramipexole


Other compulsive behaviors, such as excessive shopping and even cross-dressing, have been reported.These side effects may be linked to the D3 receptor agonist activity of pramipexole. D3 receptors are located in brain regions involved in mood, behavior, and rewards.

Google Dopamine Recptor and Crossdressing and see how many reports there are of crossressing and other compulsions as side effects to that class of drugs...

[Crissy65]

Karen, Doctors offices usually have built in appointments for emergencies. Sometimes you just have to speak up and let them know that without medication your condition could decline. Call again and again until your get a response. Talk to the office manager !! Good Luck

[Karren H]

Karen, Doctors offices usually have built in appointments for emergencies. Sometimes you just have to speak up and let them know that without medication your condition could decline. Call again and again until your get a response. Talk to the office manager !! Good Luck

My big isse is I'm not a patient... And they won't write perscriptions to people who aren't patients.. Probably if I had made an appointment when my Dr anounced he was retiring... But I neve expected it would take 5 months to get in to see a new one.. One of my less desireable traits... Procrastination.. Lol.

[Alice Torn]

Karren, These are times which try men's souls...and crossdressers' high heels soles, too. I am on three or four meds, too, and, they sure can and do have side effects. My libido has dried up, and i very seldom realease, when dressing, now. Of course, I very seldom go fishing, hiking, swimming, or play sports anymore, either. I bought some ice skates several years back, and seldom use them. There is nothing wrong, with going through phases, seasons of change. Hopefully, you can be back on the med soon, or, as one said, natural suppliment. I believe one can stop dressing, or greatly curtail it, especially if the desire isn't much. I just got back from a four day mini-vacation, to Banff, Alberta, Canada, and took only drab stuff. I didn't have any desire to dress. With so many stunningly beautiful Canadian gg's around! I must say, that I seldom see any obese, or unattractive gg's in Canada, but, as soon as I come back, to the Seattle/Tacoma area, the opposite, sadly. Whatever you do, thisyou must remember, what the Sage Red Green says, "Keep your stick on the ice. Remember, Red's pulling for you. Whe're all in this together."

[S. Lisa Smith]

I'm late to finding this thread. I too am concerned with you not having your meds. Regarding your crossdressing, hope you don't purge, I suspect that you will regret it later if the urge comes back. Wish you well!!!

[Rebecca Jayne]

Get your meds there, they may not be the same but similar,:devil:

A lot of senior citizens are involved in the current medical program and there are few fatalities.:brolleyes:

[Sam-antha]

Considering the location of the tumour, its probable growth condition I personally would not be over anxious.
However, if I understand you rightly, you have no doctor and yet you are on paid insurance.
That is to me a thing to shout about. Reminiscent of the third world....
The new consultant probably knows nothing of you nor that you are a name on her receptionist's list....
I do hope that you are a successful patient with her for longer than you were with your original doc..

~Samm

[docrobbysherry]

lets see...side effects constipation or diarrhea, insomnia or sleepiness, anorexia or excess hunger, and the desire to wear a dress. There you have it DRS...it is the meds. Truthfully, even though they are better than the old estrogenics that were used to treat BPH, there is still some anti-testosterone in them. But c'mon sister, you know it isn't the drugs...its the post dressing beta-endorphin rush.

:eek: You aren't a doctor??? but but your name...says doc...:eek:

I haven't had any of the other side effects yet. And I WASN'T blaming the drugs. Just wondered if they could have CONTRIBUTED!:heehee:
My sex life was OVER! With, or without the drugs! Until I started serious CDing.:eek:
So, it IS more likely the RUSH, rather than the drugs!:D

I'm DEFINITELY NOT an endocrinologist!:doh:


Lol. Did I mention I'm also on Lipator?? And my feet have been shrinking... Went from an 11 male to a 9 while my cholestrol went from 250 to 130!! Must be a corelation in there somewhere? Anti fat feet? Don't mind that I started skating every week and bind my feet into hockey skates. Lol.

I've been on statins for about 4 years. Cholesterol dropped a lot, and so has my blood pressure! No other noticeable effects, tho!
Jeez! I'd LOVE smaller feet!:)

[gemsay32]

I just leaned of your condition. I'll include you in my daily prayers girl. You strike me as a strong one and a fighter - I don't worry about you.

As far as what you're feeling. It seems I'm experiencing similar symptoms and withdraws myself, although not prescription medication induced. I had thought it was just in my head. But reading your situation got me thinking. A couple of years ago (almost), when I hinted to my wife about my CD'ing, and after the initial supposed acceptance, and then her questioning my gayness and masculinity, etc... and her desire of me not doing any of it or she'd be forced to out me to the kids in an embarrassing way, I had decided to attempt to suppress my desires. I started going back to the gym regularly, and put myself on muscle supplements to build up my macho self physically where I'd not find myself anymore feminine, at least in the mirror, and therefore be discouraged to CD again. To make along story short, it seemed to work great, so for all that period, up until last month, I felt no desire to dress-up. Then, business got busy, and did not have time to frequent the gym as often, and I stopped taking the supplements, and started dieting to lose my gut fat and expose the almost evident six-pack. Then, last week, I had the urge to dress, stronger that ever. So I did last week.

After reading your story I decided to put myself to the test. Today, I started supplements again and working out. We'll have to see how I feel soon.

Is it all just a coincidence? Or is there truth to it? I hope we'll find out.

For some people, CDing is a fetish. They don't do it to be a woman. It's how it feels and looks. It's independent of whether you have a feminine figure or a masculine figure. You just need to have a sex drive. I did this stuff long ago when I was in sports and packed more muscle. Even when my testoerone was high and I was doing weights, I still did it. This leads me to believe it's independent of body type. Just because you look like a woman, doesn't mean you'll CD!

Just google "satin" and "fetish" or "second skin" and "fetish" to get an idea what I'm talking about. People like me don't have to wear it and drool at ourselves. It's not like that at all. We just have to see it. Touch it. It's the material itself. It's something that's hard to understand and communicate unless you know it yourself. You wear it because if how it feels on your skin. You don't wear it to be a woman or to right yourself inside. It's purely for pleasure!

But IDK. People CD for different reasons. Just thought I'd clear this up. There're so many different types of CDer's in this forum that it makes it confusing. I'm sorry if I might have posted in the wrong thread. Perhaps you're right and some people stop CDing for the reason that they CD because of a change in diet or chemistry. But remember that people CD for different reasons, and diet and/or chemistry would have to universally apply to all of them in order to prevent CDing!

[Jolene]

I am taking more meds now than when I started all of this, so I can't blame them. A few years ago all of this came to the surface in my case and I will never be able to figure out what or the why. Not near enough time in the day for me to try and explain my situation.

I hope things turn out good for you Karren. I have always enjoyed your posts.

[Karren H]

Well I just can't be this simple... The pharmachy called and said my perscription was ready... I figured I'd have to go into my PCP and get a checkup and explain what's going on... Thanks again... Sometime you need a kick in the ass to get you pointed in the right direction!

[PetiteDuality]

Well I just can't be this simple... The pharmachy called and said my perscription was ready... I figured I'd have to go into my PCP and get a checkup and explain what's going on... Thanks again... Sometime you need a kick in the ass to get you pointed in the right direction!

When you go to the pharmacy, don't forget to get some makeup too!

Good luck Karren. Wish you the best!

[Carroll]

OMG! I take Requip for restless legs syndrome and it is in the same class as pramipexole. Guess it might have enhanced my desire to cross dress because I've been doing that long before I developed RLS

[jenniferishappy]

I see you are really in a difficult place. Your post has got me to wondering abou a few things. If you feel like responding I would really be interested. If not, I understand also.

1- Do you have a history, like the vast majority of us on here, of being drawn to wearing womens things since a very young age and all through adolescene?
2- Have you always felt like you have a feminine side that you didnt know what to do with?
3-Do you think a whole persona would be created due to the medication? Specifically, wanting to wear womens clothes is one thing, but taking it to the level you/we have you are relating completely to meds?
4-This question is asked with respect, as are all: Have you had a history of any kind of depression or mental problems before that are affected by the medication that may be coming back while tapering off it? If so, perhaps there is more to this.
5-Have you asked you physician about this? They cannot tell anyone what you tell them, the confidentiality is very serious business. Of that I am certain. Besides, it really is quite hard to shock a seasoned health care provider.

I dont know yet if some portion of me is a girl for absolute, but I will find out with some time. One thing I am certain of is that dressing has been part of me since I can remember. If you have not had that experience that I believe it to be quite possible that it may be your medications. Just some thoughts.:itsok:

[Karren H]

Well... I've been crossdressing for 5 decades... On and off.... And my fem persona isn't created by the medication but the lack of medication aka letting the tumor secretions run wild sure stomps any desires into oblivion..

Day 2 back on medication and nothing so far.. I assume it will come back as gradually as it went away... I almost bought a new bra today but just didn't really care. Lol.