unwritten2108
11-04-2009, 10:49 AM
Hey everyone. It's been two years now since I started a new journey meeting the girl within. I wrote a blog about my process to date and I wanted to share it with everyone here...
"Another anniversary has come and gone as it's now been 2 years since I first met the girl within and became just another byproduct of The Boudoir (just kidding Jodie. ) And I was lucky enough to celebrate this one in just about the same way. Two years and four days after I took my first steps out dressed in London, I finally did it in the USA.
What's more, is I went out partying with some of my closest friends as well as my girlfriend, so they all got to see this side of myself for the first time. Of course some of them still don't know that this is part of my life and something I do a few times a year, so I played things down as far as me acting femme. Still, this was kind of a coming out party for me as I basically made the statement of "Look what I can do" to everyone there. They now know I can make a pretty convincing girl, but I haven't fully admitted to anything beyond.
Overall, the night felt just like that first night at Wayout. I was nervous at first, but then settled in and the night was like any other night with my friends. But this time I was with my friends and not just other CDs, except for Michelle who drove over an hour to party with us. I felt loose and in a party mood for once. It amazed me that the night felt so similiar to two years ago. Everything felt right.
That night capped off a literally overwhealming month that shaped the theme for the past year. The first year was all about exploring this new side to myself I uncovered in London. But this year was all about learning to live with this new side. Of course I started the year off feeling the complete opposite and ready to end the exploration for good, but it took another look at Cyndi to realize that she's not going away anytime soon.
The past year has been filled with more interaction with others much like myself. I've had the opportunity to actually meet and open myself up to a lot of great people both here and in the UK when I went back in the summer. It's allowed me to learn others' experiences and open my mind up to just how unique we all are. I'm proud to call them all my friends.
The biggest thing that's happened this past year by far is working dealing with my cross-dressing with my girlfriend. It's been especially hard now since I've admitting that this is part of who I am. She still fears that I might eventually want to do this more often than I do now, and I wouldn't be lying if I said my adventures this past year have caused some stress for her. But she still wants to learn more about it and she's even been helping me as I prepared for my return to London as well as Halloween. And she's actually seen me dress in person for the first time ever. She's not attracted to me dressed like that, but the reaction was not bad at all. As I said in the last blog she can tolerate it, but wants to learn more and keep an open mind. Especially in the last month, we've had hours of conversations on the topic, but though it, I've gotten a better idea what it's like for her dealing with my cross-dressing and how I can find that happy medium so we can continue to grow together despite this.
To bring this full circle, the 2nd year will be remembered as the year everything became real. I've realized that dressing is a part of my life and I know what it does for me. And now I'm learning to live with it not only in my personal life, but with my relationship and my friends. It's been another year filled with change, but it's ended on a great note.
The other day I offically put away all my clothes and makeup for a while. This anniversary month relieved all the stress that's built up this year and right now I'm feeling better than I have in a great while. I don't know when I'll dress again, but in the meantime I'm going to continue to work to better myself, my relationship, and when the time is right, Cyndi will come out again. It was a fabulous anniversary, and now I'm ready to move on."
<3
Cyndi Lynne
"Another anniversary has come and gone as it's now been 2 years since I first met the girl within and became just another byproduct of The Boudoir (just kidding Jodie. ) And I was lucky enough to celebrate this one in just about the same way. Two years and four days after I took my first steps out dressed in London, I finally did it in the USA.
What's more, is I went out partying with some of my closest friends as well as my girlfriend, so they all got to see this side of myself for the first time. Of course some of them still don't know that this is part of my life and something I do a few times a year, so I played things down as far as me acting femme. Still, this was kind of a coming out party for me as I basically made the statement of "Look what I can do" to everyone there. They now know I can make a pretty convincing girl, but I haven't fully admitted to anything beyond.
Overall, the night felt just like that first night at Wayout. I was nervous at first, but then settled in and the night was like any other night with my friends. But this time I was with my friends and not just other CDs, except for Michelle who drove over an hour to party with us. I felt loose and in a party mood for once. It amazed me that the night felt so similiar to two years ago. Everything felt right.
That night capped off a literally overwhealming month that shaped the theme for the past year. The first year was all about exploring this new side to myself I uncovered in London. But this year was all about learning to live with this new side. Of course I started the year off feeling the complete opposite and ready to end the exploration for good, but it took another look at Cyndi to realize that she's not going away anytime soon.
The past year has been filled with more interaction with others much like myself. I've had the opportunity to actually meet and open myself up to a lot of great people both here and in the UK when I went back in the summer. It's allowed me to learn others' experiences and open my mind up to just how unique we all are. I'm proud to call them all my friends.
The biggest thing that's happened this past year by far is working dealing with my cross-dressing with my girlfriend. It's been especially hard now since I've admitting that this is part of who I am. She still fears that I might eventually want to do this more often than I do now, and I wouldn't be lying if I said my adventures this past year have caused some stress for her. But she still wants to learn more about it and she's even been helping me as I prepared for my return to London as well as Halloween. And she's actually seen me dress in person for the first time ever. She's not attracted to me dressed like that, but the reaction was not bad at all. As I said in the last blog she can tolerate it, but wants to learn more and keep an open mind. Especially in the last month, we've had hours of conversations on the topic, but though it, I've gotten a better idea what it's like for her dealing with my cross-dressing and how I can find that happy medium so we can continue to grow together despite this.
To bring this full circle, the 2nd year will be remembered as the year everything became real. I've realized that dressing is a part of my life and I know what it does for me. And now I'm learning to live with it not only in my personal life, but with my relationship and my friends. It's been another year filled with change, but it's ended on a great note.
The other day I offically put away all my clothes and makeup for a while. This anniversary month relieved all the stress that's built up this year and right now I'm feeling better than I have in a great while. I don't know when I'll dress again, but in the meantime I'm going to continue to work to better myself, my relationship, and when the time is right, Cyndi will come out again. It was a fabulous anniversary, and now I'm ready to move on."
<3
Cyndi Lynne