Persephone
11-04-2009, 06:40 PM
I've been active in my congregation's ladies auxilliary for years, attending occassional meetings and frequently being a part of the kitchen/refreshments crew. As a matter of fact, I'm qualified as "hostess," which means I can be a crew lead.
Twice I've been suggested as a board member and twice I've been shot down before the nomination because the national women's organizations' bylaws specifically say that you have to be a woman.
A couple of my friends have suggested that it's just a matter of having a woman's name on the roster when it goes to national and that we could just put down my spouse's name (technically, she's the member).
I don't feel comfortable using her name, it just doesn't seem right to be acting as someone else. So my spouse said, "This year when I send in the dues check, let's just put down your first initial."
That could work particularly well in my case since my en drab first initial does sound like the abreviation for a female name. O.K., it's the letter "D".
We did that, and they still assumed we were just renewing her membership. The confirmation came back with her first name on it.
Today there was a mid-day ladies' auxilliary Thanksgiving recipe swap, so I printed up one of my best recipes, attributed it to "Dee," and brought it to the meeting.
I wore misses' pants that are cut long to go with heels, a feminine polo shirt, earrings, a feminine watch and bracelet, and a pair of Etienne Aigner classic pumps with a 2½ stacked heel.
Practically everyone there was a woman who has known me for years and I've worked in the kitchen with several of them.
When we went around the table doing introductions they called upon me using my male name. I said, "I've been a hard-working member of this group for years. But my name sounds foreign in a group like this, so why don't we use my first initial and call me Dee?"
The lady next to me, a friend of mine who was looking over my recipe with Dee's name on it said, "I was wondering about that! Makes sense."
Well, no-one actually called anyone by name for the rest of the morning anyway, but I suspect I planted a seed. And I suspect there was some discussion when I left since the auxillary leadership were mostly the ones left in the room. But I guess we'll see if "Dee" earned a passing grade.
Twice I've been suggested as a board member and twice I've been shot down before the nomination because the national women's organizations' bylaws specifically say that you have to be a woman.
A couple of my friends have suggested that it's just a matter of having a woman's name on the roster when it goes to national and that we could just put down my spouse's name (technically, she's the member).
I don't feel comfortable using her name, it just doesn't seem right to be acting as someone else. So my spouse said, "This year when I send in the dues check, let's just put down your first initial."
That could work particularly well in my case since my en drab first initial does sound like the abreviation for a female name. O.K., it's the letter "D".
We did that, and they still assumed we were just renewing her membership. The confirmation came back with her first name on it.
Today there was a mid-day ladies' auxilliary Thanksgiving recipe swap, so I printed up one of my best recipes, attributed it to "Dee," and brought it to the meeting.
I wore misses' pants that are cut long to go with heels, a feminine polo shirt, earrings, a feminine watch and bracelet, and a pair of Etienne Aigner classic pumps with a 2½ stacked heel.
Practically everyone there was a woman who has known me for years and I've worked in the kitchen with several of them.
When we went around the table doing introductions they called upon me using my male name. I said, "I've been a hard-working member of this group for years. But my name sounds foreign in a group like this, so why don't we use my first initial and call me Dee?"
The lady next to me, a friend of mine who was looking over my recipe with Dee's name on it said, "I was wondering about that! Makes sense."
Well, no-one actually called anyone by name for the rest of the morning anyway, but I suspect I planted a seed. And I suspect there was some discussion when I left since the auxillary leadership were mostly the ones left in the room. But I guess we'll see if "Dee" earned a passing grade.