How does a crossdresser meeting group work?

[Debbie37]

Hello,

I'm new to this and have a lot of questions about crossdressing and the culture around it. I've been doing since I was a teenager and have been hiding it ever since even blocking it out entirely while serving in the military. I'm married and my SO knows about it but she doesn't like it so it's one of those deals where we do the "Don't ask, don't tell" system. I'm in Arizona and I'm also writing a story with cross dressers are main characters. In my story the main character has come to a group for cross dressing and I'm not to sure how such a meeting progresses. In my story it starts out kind of like an AA meeting but I'm sure that doesn't happen in the real world. Any insight on this would be truly appreciated. Thanks.

[AmberLynn]

Even though i have never gone to one personaly,i have read about many of them. for the most part "group's" meet up at like little coffie shop's,or cd friendly club's from light drink's and snacks. i have also heard of them holding munich's at there home's and the girl's come over and watch movies and eat popcorn. the dont see see dont tell relationship style must be hard.

[PetiteTonya]

Tri-Ess meetings taking place in their area.

[sherri52]

Hi Debbie and welcome to the forum. The meetings may start anywhere. Some of the members come dressed, some dress there, others are still in the closet and don't dress outside of thier own homes. The meetins are used to help eachother in questions and proper ways a cd'er should handle themselves. Many of the members will go to a coffee shop or dinner together dressed in thier gender preference. The theory is safety in numbers.

[Stephanie Miller]

Try sending ErikaLeigh a P.M. she is very active in the Phoenix chapter of Tri Ess - called Alpha Zeta.

Most of the time it's just a get together with members to socialize. Possibly plan an outing or two for those that are up to it ( but no pressure!). There have even been guest speakers on differing subjects : such as make-up application, venders for wigs and extras. Holiday parties. A good place for the S.O. to chat amongst themselves too. A great place to get personal information about our own special nitch in life. :battingeyelashes:

[Thalia]

Debbie37: I have attended Tiffany Club meetings in the Boston area. Sherri52 has it right. Sometimes there's a GG or two present. Honestly, the GGs always appear somewhat nervous (or outright upset) and don't seem to be very comfortable in a room of men dressed as women (complete with body movements and voices in some cases). I suppose it takes getting used to. Some arrive dressed but most change in the changing areas. Snacks are offered and we have been entertained by a harpist. It has always struck me as somewhat odd.....GGs don't spend Saturday nights in a small apartment drinking cold soda and listening to harp music....at least the GGs I know. Do we as crossdressers feel doing so makes us "more female"?

[sterling12]

Well, since I'm Prez this year (Soon to become replaced with new elections in December,) I can tell you about a "Typical" Tri-Beta Meeting.

We open our Meeting Facility about 4:30 in The Afternoon, Dressing Area's are provided for those who need them, and don't come dressed. Usually at least some of our already dressed Gals get there and socialize either next door at a rather famous Watering Hole, or just sit around and kibbitz.

Dinner is usually around 6PM, and we try to go to a new place every month. We have our "favorites" where we dine every 6 months or so, but we believe this is part of our "Effort for The Cause," to get out and let people know that we exist, and should be an everyday part of The Community. Twenty-five or more CD's and spouses, has a very telling effect...economically and socially. We are ALWAYS invited back to The Restaurant, and often get a chance to do outreach with people who are interested.

8PM, we usually start our Meeting. I try to update folks on News-Worthy Items, effecting The TG World, and we usually have a speaker. We have everyone introduce themselves, and welcome visitors and new members. (last Month, Carol Ann who is a CFA did a presentation on how to financially survive, during these hard times.) We try to always have a Monthly Theme and it often relates to some type of "Dress-UP" Option. We sometimes have a "Round-Table Discussion," that will relate to CD Activities and Growth.

Meeting usually done by 9:30 or 10PM. Usually about 80% of The Group will then take off for a Favorite Club, where we can dance and interact with other people. Lately, a big favorite is a Club in Tampa, that caters to lots of different groups. First time I saw The BDSM Crowd in action, was something really different! (No, I didn't participate....don't think I would want to.) Anyway, we usually have a lot of fun, dance, eat again, shoot The
Bull, and hang out until closing around 1:AM.

Something new, we might be adding is for folks who want to make it a weekend. Breakfast and Shopping on Sunday....we shall see.

My Group is probably more social than support. We support and we certainly mentor, but we don't have a Therapist, and we don't want to start a Therapeutic Group. Most of us are just very happy to be with people like us, and feeling like we are part of something that is good. I am very proud that Tri-Beta makes a Gurl feel like she is "accepted." It is really fun to watch people "Grow" and learn self-acceptance.


All Groups are different, but I think you have a pretty good idea of what goes on in Tampa.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Hope]

You could do the unthinkable and go to a meeting. It might even be good for you. Having done my undergraduate work at an Arizona school (Go Sparky!) I am absolutely certain that there are groups in your area. Unless you live in Gila Bend. There is nothing in Gila Bend. But if you are in Gila Bend, you have bigger problems.

[SweetCaroline]

The SISTERS groups I help moderate are very informal in comparison to other CD/TG/TS groups since we are primarily a social group and not a support group per say. Each of the chapters varies slightly from one another primarily due to location, since some meet in GLBT friendly clubs, while others meet in more public settings like restaurants and/ or hotels. Only two of the groups (Boston and Worcester) have any sort of a formal type meeting--which is mostly just announcements, community issues, etc. Like I said, our group is, for the most part, a social group, most of our gathering time is spent socializing, chatting, eating and drinking, and general getting to know each other.

One thing to consider if your fictional support group meets in a public place is if there is any decorum regarding bathroom usage. Some of the groups do have rules regarding bathroom usage, one of the things us moderators have to deal with. Some of the places have a gender neutral bathroom, or in the case of one group, a hotel room available, tho in some cases, trans-women who join us and have "Female" on their IDs can use the ladies room. Like I said it varies.

[Sarah Doepner]

I haven't been to many CD support meetings, but I can tell you the major difference between those and AA meetings. No one at the CD support meeting is going to try and convince you to quit. You aren't going to be reminded that you have a problem and if you follow steps and practice control that you will be able to get it behind you.

You will find other crossdressers with a desire to support you and to get some support for themselves and possibly for their Significant Others. They will talk about the same sort of things you find us discussing here, adventures, shopping, coming out, getting caught, wanting to share, injustice, presentation tips and the like.

I recommend what others have already mentioned. Go to a meeting in your area, even if you go en drab, you will be welcomed and through direct observation you will get much better insight than we can offer here.

[Phoebe Reece]

I am the president of Sigma Epsilon in Atlanta, GA. Our monthly meetings are actually a full weekend of activities. We meet each month in a suite at a local hotel. The hotel suite consists of a primary meeting room and across the hall, a separate living room / bedroom suite with two bathrooms. The living room / bedroom suite is available for members to change clothes at the hotel without having to check into a room of their own. There is no requirement for anyone to be crossdressed at any of our meetings or functions. Sigma Epsilon is a support group that encourages participation by not only the crossdresser but also by the significant other and any other adult family members.

This is what a typical meeting weekend is like:

Friday evening: About 4:00 pm members start arriving at the hotel suite. About 6:00 pm we entertain suggestions about where we will go eat dinner and decide where to go. We usually leave the hotel suite between 6:30 and 7:00 pm depending on where we are going and how many are in the group. After dinner we return to the hotel suite. Some members may go to the lounge area in the hotel for refreshments. Others will sometimes go out to visit area nightclubs. By 11:30 pm remaining members that are not staying at the hotel leave for home.

Saturday Morning: Members start arriving around 9:00 am. About 10:00 am we have our support group discussion in the living room / bedroom suite. Members usually give a brief bio introduction of themselves for the benefit of any newcomers. The discussion is open to anyone and everyone. What is talked about during the session is confidential and is not to be discussed outside of the group. The exception would be that if an individual has some personal issues and wants to talk with someone on a one on one basis.

We do have wives that attend often. Not all of the crossdressers’ wives attend, and some of those that do may not be in attendance each month. However, there is always at least one wife present who can discuss privately any concerns a newly visiting wife may have outside of the rest of the group.

Saturday afternoon: At lunchtime those in attendance normally break up into smaller groups for afternoon activities. While everyone may or may not go to lunch together members are free to choose to participate in a planned activity or go off on their own or with a few others for shopping, makeovers, or whatever. Planned activities have included such things as bowling, picnics, visits to the zoo, museums, or even going to the movies. Members have even gone to the Georgia Aquarium, the Renaissance Fair, and the Gwinnett County Fair.

About mid-afternoon members start returning to the hotel suite. Most members will change clothes from daytime casual to something dressier for going out to dinner.

Saturday evening: The Saturday evening dinner is a planned group meal at a restaurant selected a few weeks in advance. The restaurant selected is posted in the chapter newsletter, which every member gets a copy of prior to the meeting weekend. Depending on the time of the restaurant reservations, we leave for dinner between 6:30 and 7 pm. After dinner we return to the hotel for continued socializing. Again, some members may go to the hotel lounge or other nightlife locations around town. By 11:30 pm remaining members will head home or to their own rooms after the suite is cleaned up.

Sunday morning: For those members that have stayed overnight to Sunday morning, there is a “bubba breakfast” at the hotel. “Bubba breakfast” means that there is no crossdressing at this meal. This is for the benefit of any crossdressers’ wives that may be present. After breakfast, everyone goes their separate way.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Debbie,

Why don't you go to one?

Stephie

[Melissa Davis]

It's NOT like AA. No one is there trying to get over a sickness or disease.

If you have been to socials with a club / organization / church, it's a lot like that. Just friends and acquaintances with a common interest meeting to socialize. The meetings also tend to have a theme each time (ie Hawaiian night etc..)

[Kate Simmons]

No offense Debbie but I'm bewildered why everyone is so willing to"spill their guts" to a total stranger on a first post who hasn't commented since the OP. The part about writing a story puts caution flags up to me.

[Thalia]

Denise: Could be; however, if we are "proud" of our proclivity than, I say, WTF. Isn't it acceptance we're going for? Maybe with a little education a book about a crossdresser would be more 'on the money'.

[trannie T]

I have been to meeting of several organizations. One was very serious and consisted mainly of transexuals who were dealing with problems as they transitioned, it was run somewhat like an AA meeting in that each member would introduce themself and then talk about their life, successes and problems. Other groups have been more social, they have met in bars or restaurants and have had no formal agenda. I live too far from any group to be an active member buy have been made to feel welcome at every group to which I have been.