Anyone NOT out yet?

[Danielle H]

So next year I'll be 31, and as far I know nobody I know has any idea about my secret. I'd really like to tell someone, but for the life of me I can't think of anyone to tell. :sad:

But that's a topic for another thread. For this thread, I was wondering if any of you older ladies (or maybe the younger ones who have an opinion too) that are not out yet, well, how do you deal with it? Do you feel a need to tell someone, or have you accepted the fact that this is a secret nobody can ever know? Does it burn inside you in any way?

Also for those of you that are out, what were your feelings on this subject just before you did it, and how did you feel after? I imagine I can guess the after part, but I'd like to hear what you have to say just the same.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Danielle Dear

There is spiritual and physical sides of being feminine for me.

Being feminine is more spiritual for me and is always flowing from within so in the most important way my spirit is free, clothes and makeup are the physical side.

I am very comfortable with it and I have to underdress only, but I do wear polish on all 20 all the time and lipstick all the time.

I use to tell and for years all it did was alienate my friends and family from me so I stooped broadcasting it and go about my ways quietly, discretely, yet still feminine.

Notin' like a dame wit a chain saw eh

[sometimes_miss]

When I was younger, I would fantasize about being caught by someone, accepted that way, and 'allowed' to dress and be myself. I wanted so much to be loved for who I was, reality didn't enter my mind. But I always chickened out, even though I did some silly things along the way, but never actually 'got caught'. Turns out I was just kidding myself.

At this point, I did wind up accidently exposing my CD'ing to my wife (ended in a divorce), pre-emptively told my sister and mother when my ex threatened to tell them, and neither took it well, and still don't. Mom pretends it doesn't exist, and my sister and I are barely on talking terms. She never calls me, and whenever we talk, it's always closed end or one word answers to my questions.

In the post divorce years, I've told two other women, neither of whom I was dating, both of whom had confided in me about embarrassing things as well. While they were o.k. with my being a crossdresser, neither felt they found it something they would see as attractive in a man, more the opposite. Both those friends have since moved away, and gotten married, so right now, I have no friends that know I CD.

So in the closet I stay.

[Shari]

I never really felt the need to tell anybody. I was more afraid of chastisement and rejection than anything else. I dressed in secret and enjoyed every chance I had.

Then one day, due to various reasons, I came out to my wife. I can't begin to tell you the emotions that ran through me as the words finally came.
After her initial shock, she seemed sort of okay with it.

It was a huge release for me. I felt so cleansed, so open. Finally, somebody knew my secret and I didn't die when I spoke the words. She didn't die either. Nobody did. The world didn't stop turning.

We had some great fun for awhile, but it all slowly dissipated.
After two years, it's become more of a grudging acceptance and I'm almost back to where I was before I told her except that I don't have to worry anymore about getting caught.

Better to have had it and lost it, than to never had it at all.

Good luck to you.

[BellaWolf]

I'm 18 and I'm not out. Two people know I liek to..'dress up' but only one knows the extent of it. At this stage I don't feel the need to tell anyone else (although it would be nice to be completely accepted).

[Catina]

Hi Danielle, I found Halloween to be a great opportunity to give me a bit more confidence. Did you also take advantage of that holiday? * check my post at http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118982&highlight=catina

[Karren H]

I'm not out and damn proud of it!! Lol. Ok my wife knows but if I hadn't been so sloppy she would not know either!! It my hobby and I don't have an overwhelming urge to tell or invite anyone else in..

Ok. All the SA's where I shop know.. And my local CD friends.. One croossdressing coworker.. Couple million people on FaceBook.. Probably everyone at work.. Damn..

[sherri]

I would love for at least one of my close friends to know, and I've thought about it, but I really can't imagine a single one of them taking it in stride all that well. With a couple of them, I'm pretty sure it would kill the friendships. The others might not react so harshly, but I think it would put a strain on things, maybe distance us. The thing is, any reaction other than heartfelt acceptance would be a disappointment and undermine the value of outing to them.

People will surprise you, I know, but that can go both ways, good or bad. I guess I don't want to risk the relationships, and too there's the old fear kicking in that they would think less of me.

[KristinL]

Lately I've been feeling the need to tell somebody - Nobody knows right now except my wife. But the consequences of it not going well are just too big. I have a very close family and if it didn't go well my life would be completely over.

[JenniferR771]

O yeah! In recent years I have felt the need to tell someone. Easiest way to start is to is to tell (a female) someone you don't really know, or expect to see again, like a sales associate at a store. In my case, my favorite thrift store. If the reaction is bad, shop elsewhere. Of course my wife caught me several years ago--dislikes my "hobby", but accepts little things. Sales associates want you to shop at their store--they will almost always be nice. Of course, you should get in touch with local cds and meet for coffee if you can. If you belong to a local group, of course, you may meet their wives. I have also found a very tiny salon for my haircuts, and told the girl who cuts my hair. And more in recent years I got really bold. Wait staff at cd get togethers and restaurants. My doctor. The nurse. My dentist. They cannot discuss their patients, by law--privacy, you know. Told my brother--he was neutral. Daughter neutral, no problem.

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, Danielle, you're rite! There isn't a DAY that goes by, that I don't wish I could TELL SOMEONE!:sad:

But, I'm NOT prepared to answer all the MANY questions that mite follow, if I mentioned my secret!:brolleyes:

Many times, I've ALMOST casually mentioned CDing in conversations with friends or family! Or, accidentally said something a MAN shouldn't know, about women's clothes, makeup, etc.:o

I HAVE told one person, who lives far away from me. And THAT may have been a MISTAKE!:doh:

[Brooke Ashley]

I am 18 and not out yet. My girlfriend and another close friends are the only ones who know at this point. I really feel the need to tell my mother because I am going through some hard times right now and need someone I love and trust to talk to. Im just really fearful of what her reaction might be, especially since I've seen her reaction to this type of thing. So yes, I do feel a need to tell someone and it really burns me.

[StephHamilton]

i told a good "girl" friend last nite. although she thought i was haveing a laugh, so i chickened out and left it at that :(

[Miranda09]

I've come out to one person, and was very nervous about doing so, but I knew she could be trusted. I really don't have too much of an urge to come out to anyone else. I don't think it's really necessary, as long as I have everyone here to talk to about things....I'm happy with that. :)

[trisha254]

Hi, Danielle

As of last nite no one new about my secret , But something happen it began with a birthday party for myself , All the grand kids and my two daughter, Well every thing weas fine until I started to relax , So the girls were about to leave I ask my younger daughter if i could talk about something she had no idea what it about { she very open minded girl like myself] And I then came right about my desires , we did not have much time to talk , I do feel alot of presure has been taken off my back , I also known that this just the start of because like many I read we are all the same ship and it now time to dock,
P.S This site as open up so much for myself,

Love Trisha

[busker]

If you really feel a compulsion to tell someone, pick out someone you know, sit down with pen and paper and write them a letter expaining everything about your desire to CD, how and when it began and where you are at present. In the explaining it might even clarify some things for you. Then take the letter and either burn it or shred it. That will very likely take the pressure off. You've told someone and then you can rest easy for a while. If you have a really bad urge to tell someone, that urge may be saying more about you than you think.
good luck

[Sally2005]

Before I accepted CDing, I had some desire to tell. I think once the negative emotional feelings are resolved, the question of telling doesn't seem as important. I show this side of myself on halloween, but I've not made any official announcements. The thing is, I don't plan on making any major life changes and I feel satisified knowing that I have resolved some of my own personal struggles. You have to consider the impact to the people you live with not just your own.

[DiannaRose]

Only my wife knows about me, and she wishes she didn't. My burden and stress didn't come from keeping secret my dressing, but from lying to her for twenty-five years about it.

When we first started seeing each other, I was still confused about my crossdressing desires. I had to really work up the courage to tell her then, and it scared and confused her. Heck, it scared and confused ME at the time. I thought I could quit then, that it was just a fetish, so I told her my feelings had gone away and we left it at that.

Now, 25 years later, she knows the feelings *haven't* gone away. She wasn't as upset about that as she was about the fact that I had been lying to her about it every time the topic came up (not often, but still numerous enough). The problem was that once I assured her the first time that I didn't want to "do that thing" any more, it became twice as hard to tell her the truth next time.

Big blowout, but the dust is settling and I *think* she starting to at least acknowledge my crossdressing. Slowly...oh, so slowly, but I'll wait on her. Take all the time you need, darling! :)

[Shelly Preston]

I guess I would say what do you mean by out

In my local area only my wife knows

In other areas of the country there are a few who do know about me

[flatlander_48]

Clearly everyone has reasons for what they do and don't do. And it is not the same, person to person. What one person is comfortable with, another may try avoid like the plague. As the saying goes, Your Mileage May vary...

For me, I've reached a sort of halfway point. I have come out as a bisexual to some friends and coworkers; in other words, people that I know well enough to feel that it wouldn't be sufficient to avoid me or cause some backlash. It's funny, it seems, but the relationships continue essentially as they were. I'm pleased with that as they are all people that I respect and and value as friends.

On the other hand, I have only come out as a sometimes crossdresser to my wife and one other person that I know. In thinking about it, I believe this is all that I am willing to divulge at this time. To go further would seem like Too Much Information. Perhaps eventually I can relax about this, but I don't see that in the near term. Right now, many people are just beginning to come to grips with the fact that there are gays and lesbians everywhere, in every level, in every profession and occupation. Whether they know about us or not, we're there. For the time being, I think it makes more sense for me to be thought of as a bisexual rather than a bisexual and crossdresser. That's just a bit too confusing for now...

[CherylFlint]

I remember the first time that I went out as Cheryl as it were yesterday, when actually it was last century. Looking back on the process, I can't believe it took so long but, on the other hand, I think I've done okay since I can pass, at least most of the time. I remember walking in the mall and saying to myself that all the years of "getting it right" has paid off. You just can not begin to imagine the rush of emotions when you first go out in public and pass. Drugs don't come close to the feeling of satisfaction and self worth as "passing". On this blog, a few days ago, someone said that "passing" is the Holy Grail of dressing and I say how right they are.
"Passing" takes work, no doubt about it. The black leather mini skirt with heels is NOT mall attire. Us crossdressers are always checking out what the girls are wearing so dress for the occasion and you'll do fine. Remember, too little is better than too much. Tone the whole look down a notch and you'll do just fine.
A nice smile is your best weapon, then comfortable shoes and a convincing wig. You can never be too thin nor too rich. Have fun out there and stay safe.

[monika]

I am in the closet and only one person knows about me (exgirlfriend)
If I had a guarantee that no one would out me I`d tell more people.
A hot girlfriend of mine was sick the other day and she said I should come over and dress in her nursesuniform and take care of her haha.
I`d think she`d be in for a shock if she knew I wouldn`t mind wearing one:heehee:

For whatever reason I only wanna share my secret with GG`s, I have no need to tell any of my male friends!

[Jamie001]

If close friends cannot accept that you are a crossdresser, then they were never really friends. They were acquaintances only and were never friends. A true friend will accept you for who you are. Is it really worth hanging with friends that won't accept you? Telling them that you are a crossdresser is a good test of the friendship.


I would love for at least one of my close friends to know, and I've thought about it, but I really can't imagine a single one of them taking it in stride all that well. With a couple of them, I'm pretty sure it would kill the friendships. The others might not react so harshly, but I think it would put a strain on things, maybe distance us. The thing is, any reaction other than heartfelt acceptance would be a disappointment and undermine the value of outing to them.

People will surprise you, I know, but that can go both ways, good or bad. I guess I don't want to risk the relationships, and too there's the old fear kicking in that they would think less of me.

[Piora]

I was married for 27 years and crossdressed for 20 of those years. My former wife never had a clue, as I only did it when no one was around. My thing is corsets, panties, stockings, and I have no desire to dress in regular women's clothing and go out anywhere. I wouldn't pass anyway, that's for sure. In my early years of dressing, I eventually gravitated towards wearing full makeup, false eyelashes and wig when I dressed.... which, while I did enjoy it and it enhanced the experience quite a bit, I generally enjoyed the dressing part just by itself. Besides, I rarely had enough time to go the full gambit.

I came VERY close to being found out one afternoon when my former wife came home unexpectedly. I had the fan going because it was hot in the ensuite bathroom so I didn't hear the car or the front door, and all of a sudden the bedroom door swung open, and I saw it out of the corner of my eye, so I quickly closed the door. She had been carrying a bunch of things so, I was sure she hadn't seen me. She would definitely have said something about seeing a 6' 2" blond in the bathroom, dressed in a black corset, black panties and black seamed stockings, and with full makeup. I then was able to quickly turn on the shower, get out of my gear and wash everything off.

Shortly after that, we separated and until recently, I've never even thought about dressing again, as I purged at the time I moved. I'm now in the process of acquiring new things again. To this day, not a living soul knows that I do this. I will no doubt carry it with me to my grave. Of course, the only problem is that I do not have a partner, and likely it would be my daughter or a relative who would go through stuff after my passing, and then of course my secret would probably be be out.

Because of the kind of crossdressing that I do, it's not important for me to be dressed as a woman, because I don't do it for the purpose of going out anywhere, or passing as a woman, or even wishing to be dressed for extended periods of time.

[Tiffany6791]

I know as I get older I have a feeling of wanting to tell gg's that are close to me. The reason for that is because I'm having a stronger feeling of wanting to explore my dressing more.

[SimoneTV]

I am 40 and have been married for 10 years. I had been secretly cross dressing since I was a child and had a secret stash of clothes and accessories hidden in a box in the house. I used to stay away a lot in hotels and would dress at every opportunity. At some point 4 or 5 years ago I fely guilty about my secret so I threw everything away. I felt happy that I'd stopped and didn't want to do it anymore. Then about 3 years ago, my wife and I were invited to a fancy dress party with women going as men and men going as women. It was a great night but the urge to dress afterwards was so strong, I was struggling to cope with it, so eventually I told my wife. She was obviously shocked and confused b ut eventually she saw that it was no threat to her and she even helps me now with make up and shopping.

My advice if it's worth anything is, if you want to tell someone, tell someone you've known for a while who's a genuine friend who won't judge you or "out" your secret. For some reason, most people on here seem to have told women only, same here, I've told three people, all women.
Good luck
Simon(e), UK.

[Kara Connor]

I came out recently to a couple of very close friends, one being a GG and another a male friend. The GG is also very close to my wife, and she was very surprised but accepting. She was more concerned for my wife, who has known since before we got married. They spoke several times afterwards. My wife and I had talked a few weeks earlier about my CDing and afterwards she indicated that she was happy with me stepping it up a bit, but from her point of view I was going a little too fast for her comfort level in some areas, so she became rather concerned about it, and this came through to my GG friend so she in turn became more worried. My wife and I talked things over again, and we sorted things out, then my wife was able to reassure our mutual friend that things were fine.

My male friend said "Is that all?" after I told him, and was intrigued and asked some questions. He was actually very sensitive about not making any jokes about it until I reassured him that it was fine for him to inject a little humor. He pointed out that it wasn;t fair because I got twice as much enjoyment looking at GGs than he did "She's hot - I'd love to wear those clothes too" sort of thing :)

It is actually very nice to have some close people to whom I can actually mention it. Not that it is something that comes up in every conversation, and nor should it. My fem side is just a part of me, albeit an important part of me, but doesn't define me, I don't think. Though I did mention to my wife that in a recent stressful situation at work I was able to find an oasis of calm by thinking "I have cute pink nail varnish on all my toes, and no-one knows". She actually suggested that I should under-dress in pink string bikinis to produce an even greater stress reduction. She might have a point!

[Danielle H]

Great replies! Seems we have a rather varied bunch of opinions here, thanks everyone for their input so far.

The general consensus seems to be that it's different for everyone. If you want to tell someone then tell someone you trust, preferably a girl you know. If not, then don't!

[Joanne108]

So next year I'll be 31, and as far I know nobody I know has any idea about my secret. I'd really like to tell someone, but for the life of me I can't think of anyone to tell. :sad:

But that's a topic for another thread. For this thread, I was wondering if any of you older ladies (or maybe the younger ones who have an opinion too) that are not out yet, well, how do you deal with it? Do you feel a need to tell someone, or have you accepted the fact that this is a secret nobody can ever know? Does it burn inside you in any way?

Also for those of you that are out, what were your feelings on this subject just before you did it, and how did you feel after? I imagine I can guess the after part, but I'd like to hear what you have to say just the same.

Well I outed myself before my wife and I got married. Then during our marriage she caught me fully dressed so I'm as about out as you can get. I remember being nervous at the time but we're still married and she doesn't really seem to care as long as I leave her stuff alone. She does give me fashion tips so I look better when dressed. She will be doing her make up, and I'll be shaving then she'll give me advise on how to do my make up.

[pernille d]

intersting reading ,
i have been hideing my secret for 30 odd years and 20 odd tears from my wife.i have noticed the older you get the deire to tell gets bigger , i dont know why , but it could simplely be that the older we get the less energy we have to hide our secrets,,

i think it has its down sides and upsides as keeping it secret gives us somewhere to retreat and something to have and call 100 % our own .That could be a hard thing to loose as you can never get it back once told !!!!i On the other side it has the problem of keeping something hidden from friends and the ones we love is the pressure of hideing and keeping it bottled up, that does affect us all .

i have also want to tell someone , but there is always the fear of being outed ,or changes in friendships , but whats the problem if its a true friend you tell , they will shocked but should accept you as you are.

its a hard thing to decide on , i remember the first time i went out , i sat in the car beforehand very nervous but a few minutes after stepping out i was relaxed ,i worried more about it before than actually doing it , is this the same here , do we worry too much about it , is it not best to just do it ,,,,, THE CHOICE IS YOUR AND YOURS ALONE

[SallyJ]

Civilization has certainly progressed to a sorry state when the "clothing" one wears can get one ostrasized from strangers, one's friends , or worst, one's family or spouse.

I like New Hampshire's slogan "Be free or die". Or is that Vermont?

If we would all just dress as we want without trying to conform to some artificial norm, the world would be a better place.. Is this a metaphor for suggesting ignoring the "keep up with the Jone's " syndrome. Or worst, " keep in good standing with the current sheep herder(s)" syndrome?

Sorry, but I hear a lot of excuses in this thread.
Just go out and be yourself. Help break down the barriers. Make your arguements with those who disagree. Confront them! Who made them better than you! Or more moral? Unless you feel guilty??? What makes you guilty? What laws have you broken? Oh sorry, forgot about those arbitrary rules that society has established. Why not dispute them?? Did you have a say in making them?? Why not publish your vote now?
Go out dressed as you wish, pass or not. You would be surprised at how many people really don't give a dam! Really they don't. OK, maybe for a nanosecond when they first perceive something is not "normal". But in the blink of an eye they are about trying to perceive some other "abnormality" in people around them.....which is really about their trying to ensure they fit in with the masses in clothing, style , demeanor ,etc. and making sure they exhibit no "abnormalities.

Wife's and family are another thing! Thread lightly! But they are probably mainly reacting to "society's" rules.
We need to change these rules.
If you have any opportunity to negate these rules, do it! And then we may all be free to be ourselves and not clones of societies rules!

Sorry for the rant!@!!!! OK flame me!

[Danielle H]

I was about to flame you SallyJ, till I got to your last paragraph. Like you said, I don't give a damn what the average person on the street thinks of me. I have gone out as a "dude in a dress" not even attempting to pass.

But friends/family is really who this thread is about. I don't want to hurt them, and vice versa. So if I don't think they will accept what I have to say, then really I am just not going to say it at all.

Maybe one day soon I'll be able to stand up and shout "THIS IS WHO I AM" but I don't see it happening any time soon. But when it does, you all will be the first to know!

[Barbara Dugan]

Nobody knows about it.Most likely my life would be turn upside down if I ever leave this closet

[Carly D.]

I've been wearing womens clothes for a long time (about thirty plus years) and the one thing I do think about regularly is telling someone.. I've written in other entries about the "genie in the bottle" thing.. but I know the frustration of wanting to tell and feeling that if I do tell life changes.. telling a friend would more than likely be telling everyone I know, I live in a very small town.. the only advise I can give is think it through.. to me, and this is ONLY me thinking here, I think it would be very selfish if I were to tell anyone.. to me I rarely went out before this past spring and that was because things happened that allowed me to (once in a lifetime opportunity as it were) but when that door got slammed shut I thought seriously about telling but then didn't and I'm glad I didn't.. I have a slow down in wearing going on since this past May in that I have fully dressed up twice since then and have the desire to dress getting less all the time (not happy about that but it's the way I am right now).. am I done dressing up fully the rest of my life?? only if I die shortly.. the feeling will come rushing back, it ALWAYS does..

[bridget jones]

I came out twice to my ex-sister in-law and I felt relieved,then she had marriatal problems and let my secret out.The best advice I could give is to open up to someone that will keep your secret until you're ready for it to be out for anyone to see.The girls here are great and meetings they have are something I am seriously considering if they'll have me.

[sherri52]

This is a tough question for me. I am out to probably half the people I know. My closest friends know I'm strange but don't know I do it all the time. I am more likely to tell acustomer that comes in my store often than I am a friend. I won't lose the customer

[Susan.]

Just coming out to a therapist sounds like it might help you.

[Bikini Babe Claire]

My family knows of my CDing, But my Mum is the only one who is supportive of it:), Not really sure who else may know, my 2 older brothers have probably told there friends about it. I would like to tell my friends but am afraid of what there response might be.

[Jonesasaurus]

Im 18 an I have not told a single soul so far, which actually kinda sucks

[bridget jones]

I tried to get out but my ex sis in law turned me in.I have finally recovered from the forced purged but I stiil have a few items to go.I can't believe I let the breast forms go that really made me sick.I lost everything lingerie,clothes,make up,my wigs,shoes.

[KELLYANN]

i've come out to my mother, best friend, and close neighbor. all accepting of me. i think you can get a feel for who you share this with, and if they would be OK with it or not. as said, true friends are just that. they will not disown you. siblings? i've two brothers, one i know would be great with my gender "thing" the other, i'm not so sure. time will tell, i can't change it's who i am. HUGS KELLYANN

[audreyinalbany]

my wife knows and is sort of grudgingly accepting. We were actually in counseling about it a couple of years ago. At that time, I thought we had crossed some kind of threshold, but, as of now, we're pretty much back where we started, "don't ask, don't tell."
Couple other people know: I told my wife's friend and her husband about it. They're fine with it, although they don't feel like they can actually be around 'audrey' as that would somehow be a betrayal of my wife. I don't have ANY desire to share this with any male friends, but would love to share it with gg friends...I wonder why that is????

[Marcie R.]

I am not out, and I have been a crossdresser for over 30 years. I am married, but my wife does not have any idea of my other personification. I know if she, or any of my family found out, the conseqences would be devistating.
If you feel like discussing your feminine inner feelings, try talking about them with some of your sisters on this site. I have found a few friends here that have been great to discuss things relating to crossdressing, and also my personal feelinge regarding this topic. These members are here for you!!
Love, Marcie R.:hugs:

[WandaRae2009]

I am out only to my wife and a therapist. The therapist helped a lot. Coming out to the rest of the family is out. My family would not be accepting. My wife does not allow me to go out locally or post any pictures on the internet. I am looking to get involved with a group in another city where I occaisionally travel, so I have someone to go out with and talk with like minded people face to face.

[windycissy]

Never had the compulsion to tell close friends, family etc...I kind of like having a secret that nobody else knows! My outlet for sharing is the crossdressers I've met on this forum and other support groups, some of my happiest times are girls nights out with them

[Mandie0443]

Im in my late 20's and not out yet. I dont want to make the full change over I like both my sides. But Like others have said Halloween this year was a great way for me to come out (in fem) and have fun. (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1930835&postcount=324) It helped my confendance a lot by meeting new people (female and male) in fem. I plan to work on it and do it more. My key is to have fun.

[lavistaa62]

I felt the need to dress but never the need to tell anyone until my current SO. Telling her was expressing the trust I hold in her and our relationship. Yes, it's fantastic to have someone else in the world to discuss this. Perhaps meeting a group in your local area, as I plan to do, would be a useful outlet? I've never met anyone else in person who dresses and anticipate it to be a very enlightening and socially useful outlet. I'm guessing I'll feel more "at home" than in most social gatherings.

[jody111]

If close friends cannot accept that you are a crossdresser, then they were never really friends. They were acquaintances only and were never friends. A true friend will accept you for who you are. Is it really worth hanging with friends that won't accept you? Telling them that you are a crossdresser is a good test of the friendship.

I hear this line. I am not so sure I buy it. Think of all the other things someone could tell you about them that you would not know simply by being their friend. A blind friend is not much better than a judgemental one.


Many times, I've ALMOST casually mentioned CDing in conversations with friends or family! Or, accidentally said something a MAN shouldn't know, about women's clothes, makeup, etc.:o

Lol! Yes, I constantly remind myself not to mention something like, "It really is not so difficult walking in heels that high!" :D


At this point, I did wind up accidently exposing my CD'ing to my wife (ended in a divorce)

Would you mind if we asked how the CD revelation ended the marriage? Was this a straw on the camel's back? Was it the main reason?

[Samantha43]

My wife knows, and has always known. I attend meetings of a local CD group. They have never seen the male me. Otherwise, I'm in the closet. I like my closet and am not planning to leave it....:battingeyelashes:

[Samantha Girl]

The 1st person I ever told that I cross dress is my fiance who was my girlfriend at the time. I felt like I couldn't ask her to marry me (it had been 5 years together by then) until I told her. So I sorta set myself up. I'm an artist and I always have a black bound sketchbook that i have art ideas, sketches and my journal entries in. So I wrote a whole page about how I had something I HAD TO tell her but never mentioned what it was. Just that I couldn't ask to marry her until she knew. And at the end I put "if you read this just ask what's the BIG secret?". I let her look/read my sketchbooks so I figured she'd see it eventually. So one day we're driving back from this little trip we took to upstate NY for a weekend and she goes what's the big secret? My brain screamed at me "What were you thinking!?". But I did it, I told her that I am a transvestite. She reacted perfectly, she was kind and sweet and asked a million questions :) There was a time after she found out that she was a little upset that I was hiding this from her. But outing myself helped that and she accepts that it's who I am ;) In fact she bought me a girly sweater to go with my Halloween outfit that saved my scantily clad ass from freezing to death :D

Besides my girl I've only told 5 people. 3 guys who are my best friends in the world. 2 of whom are married and I told there wives, who are close friends as well :) Every one of them was awesome about it. They didn't look at me or treat me any different. They truly are my best friends. One buddy came to visit us in our new home and stayed for Halloween week. I had already told him and he seemed just as stoked as I was about me gettin glammed up for Halloween! He's the 1st guy friend I've actually been dressed like a woman in front of and he said I didn't "feel" any different and treated me the same as always. It was really amazing, but Halloween is always an amazing time! :D Some of my girl's friends know, I don't really care ;) I feel really lucky about the good friends I have :)

However... I still feel like I can't tell my family. I suspect some of them might've put it together or have suspicions. I have A LOT of siblings! :p I just think my Mom would lose her shit! :p Everytime I'm open and honest with her it bites me in the ass so that's probably never going to happen ;)

[Celeste]

I'm always bouncing back and forth on whether to let it out or not,I always ask,what would it change and how could I benefit from it.Recently I'd had a distant friend over for drinks,once we were a bit enlightened I decided to a take a chance and showed him some pics of me dressed and this site.Well his reaction was "hey thats pretty cool" and not bad.So I've been thinking of it more and have realized, there's no rush for me to tell anyone,only taking the time to make sure they're the right one to tell.