crossdressers and lesbian bars

[DeniseNJ]

I need some advise. I will be headed to Sister a lesbian bar in Phila. This chance don't come along that often. I called the place and was wold that the girls don't mind if CD's stop by. Any advise on Do's and don't . LIKE SHOULD i USE THE LADYS ROON OR NOT. Should I start up conversation or just be quiet. Denise is plucking and shaving away. It's a 40 mile ride . It's a shame I can't find someone to come along. This is my second time out alone for an extended stay,those little drives don't count.. I am some what scared as he!! as well as excited. give a girl a little encouragement OK!!

[Sherry-Stephanie]

LOL JUst go out and get there and go sit down probably at the bar order a drink and go from there....let the evening come to you and see what happens....

I've not been to a lesbian bar, but some of the girls I hang with have been and they were accpeted jsut fine...

The bar/club I usually go to is a gay club and I usually jsut go in there order a drink sit back and see what happens...and usually I've never disppointed because I usually end up talking to someone be it male or female and have been out maybe 15 times in the past few months and it's always an interesting evening....

I use the ladies room when in dress and have never had a problem with any of the girls there...actually they tend to treat you as just another one of them...

Yeah, you probably are normal at being scared/nervous, but the more you go out that all goes away....I use to feel the same way but now it's like routine....

Good luck and like I said, get there, order a drink and sit back and relax...if nothing else and it isn't busy get a bit of a conversation going with the bartender...tell him or her and I think it would be a her....that your a new crossdresser and jsut getting out and see if she can give you some pointers about other crossdresser who come in there....trust me your not the first one to have gone to that bar....

Enjoy...

Steph

PS sorry about the Phillies....

[Fran Moore]

I've been to several Lesbian bars around the country, and have always been well received. Never have had a problem using the "ladies" room either, but check with the bartender if you have any doubts about it. Many times I have ended up out on the dance floor, and have had gals wanting to either sit with me or come and sit with them. Much more accepting than a gay guys bar! I've even had the female bouncers voluntarily escort me out to a waiting cab, very cool indeed!

Suzanne:)

[Lorileah]

One of the nicest evenings I had out was at a "L" bar, in fact it was called the "Elle" bar. Intimate, quiet, the bartender was attentive and quick. The patrons were friendly, mostly because I wasn't a threat because I wasn't a "male" invading the territory and I wasn't a "female" they would be interested in picking up (and none were drunk enough to mistake me :)). I was complimented many times and of course the old joke of "too bad you aren't really a girl". No one tried to start a fight. and unlike gay bars no one lifted my hem to see what I had on under there nor did anyone tell me I must be there for some...well you know. I have several Lesbian friends and they say that anyone who goes to "their" bars is welcome as long as they act appropriately and what is more appropriate than looking like a well dressed woman...well maybe one that is a little naughty in those bars :)

[Jessinthesprings]

Hey, I want to go to one now. I did not think that lesbian bars were that common, and that most places just had one size fits all gay bars. Good luck and I wish you the best of luck and hope you have fun.

[sherri]

The ones I go to are pretty laid back and they don't give a rip which bathroom you use as long as you don't pee on the seat. :) Heck, I've had them come in and sit down while I'm using the mirror, just chattering up a storm like they would with any girl.

There's nothing to fear hon. Smile, be outgoing but not pushy. Your shyness can often be misinterpreted as wanting to be left alone. Introduce yourself when you get the chance, cuz they shouldn't have to do all the ice-breaking, then let them do the follow-up. Don't be surprised if you're invited to join one of their tables. If someone buys you a drink, return the favor. Etc etc.

You're gonna have a nice time, trust me. :battingeyelashes:

[tricia_uktv]

Hon, just enjoy yourself. Fine to use the ladies and the lesbians will love you - especially the older ones. Remember the smile :) Have fun

[Angelofsomekind]

I'd think as long as you are respectful of them they would be the same to you. I'm sure some would like it.

[VickysBFF]

Hi DeniseNJ: I have not been to SISTERS but I have heard of it.
It is highly recommended in LGBT Travel Guides to Philadelphia.
Let us know how your visit goes.
I can't really add anything to what everyone else has said except that their website mentioned that they are cash only so make sure that you bring cash as they don't accept credit/debit cards or checks (unless they have recently changed that policy).

[SweetCaroline]

I've been to a couple Lesbian clubs and events around Boston and never had any problems. There have been other Genetic men around as well, usually of the goth variety, tho not as many. Straight (or possibly bi/curious) GGs will sometimes go as well just to have a place to hang out without men hitting on them.

As for the bathroom issue, most GLBT places I've been to it doesn't really matter. If it's a busy club, the men's room might be deserted while there are long lines at the ladies room. You can pretty much choose which ever your most comfortable with.

Most of all just act like you belong and have fun. Good luck! :)

[DeniseNJ]

You girls are just too sweet, It's funny a clam fell over me after reading your posts. Gonna hit the shower not get rid of me wiskers , pick out a nice perfume and start my transformation. I hope it will all feel normal I HOPE. Fingers and cute toes crossed...:heehee:

[Stephanie Miller]

Went to a lesbian bar once. What I noticed was a table that had a group of four that didn't dress to thier gender, used voices that I know weren't thier true voices. In fact they didn't confront anyone like I would have expected someone like them to. Made me wonder at first if they should have been welcomed at all .................. Oh! wait.... that was OUR table! :heehee:
Come to think of it the other patrons were just "people" too. ( and we had a great time and made new friends):hugs:

Don't worry sister. Go have fun. That's probably all they are there for too.

[sherri]

It's funny a clam fell over me after reading your posts.Dang gurl, are you alright? Was it a giant clam, or just a regular-sized clam? :D

[lynnrichards]

I've been to Sister's many times and I think you'll like it. Although it's mostly a lesbian bar, you'll find all kinds of people there -- men, women, straight, gay, cross-dressers, etc. It will vary from person to person, but most will treat you with acceptance. Some women have been especially nice to me. The bathroom on the first floor provides privacy (one person at a time, with an inside lock) and can be used by either gender. Upstairs, they have separate, public male and female bathrooms; but you can use either.

Thursdays are great. For a ten dollar cover, you get at least five tickets for free drinks (beer/wine) and a free buffet. Plus it's always crowded. I haven't been there for a while; but I'm thinking about going next Thursday night.

Good luck and have fun,
Lynn

[Gisele]

Actually I have been to a lesbian bar. My first time was with TXkimberly and it was a very pleasant time. There were quite a few GG girls there and no one gave us a bad look.
We were treated oh so wonderful by the bartender. She was very outgoing and nice to us. I have been back before they tore it down to build new buildings.
They have moved but I haven't been back....I need to find out where they are because I am wanting to return again. I felt just like one of the girls there.:hugs:

[geri-tg.]

I have never been to a L bar but I might go now.

[sissy meg]

My first of only two times out dressed was to a gay bar, I was scared and excited all at the same time.

I sat at the bar and had a few drinks. I had conversations with the bartender and a wife of a crossdresser who wasn't there that night.

The funny thing is that just as I was getting comfortable, I had to pee and I didn't know which bathroom to use, so I left.

[Bobbi Lynn]

That's what I was wondering.

Dang gurl, are you alright? Was it a giant clam, or just a regular-sized clam? :D

[jenna_woods]

I have never been to a lesben bar let us know how you make out, and good luck

[Sally24]

One of my most favorite places to party is Pearl Nightclub in Boston. Friday night is "Alternative Women's Lifestyles" Night (otherwise know as Lesbian Night). We are very welcomed there and always have a good time. I'd recomend getting a drink and sitting and observing for awhile. Make eye contact and smile and maybe eventually start a conversation with a person or two. I think you'll find it a fun time.

Good luck!!

[CherylFlint]

You'll do just fine. Use the ladys washroom. You'll look like a lady, act like one. You'll have a good time.

[vivian33]

I hear diamonz in bethlehem PA is also very accepting of CD's/TG's. I talked to the bartender there a couple of weeks ago his name was bruce and was very re-assuring. He said the people are very friendly and will talk to you and you will just be another one of the girls. He said that sometimes a group of 10 or so will just come in and have a great time. From what i hear everybody there is very nice and i think i might have to go next week.....Anybody else wanna come?

[Illusions Of Amy]

I need some advise. I will be headed to Sister a lesbian bar in Phila. This chance don't come along that often. I called the place and was wold that the girls don't mind if CD's stop by. Any advise on Do's and don't . LIKE SHOULD i USE THE LADYS ROON OR NOT. Should I start up conversation or just be quiet. Denise is plucking and shaving away. It's a 40 mile ride . It's a shame I can't find someone to come along. This is my second time out alone for an extended stay,those little drives don't count.. I am some what scared as he!! as well as excited. give a girl a little encouragement OK!!

Let me know how your experience turns out! If it weren't short notice and I wasn't still an incomplete girl that's probably at least as nervous as you are in attempting these outings, I definitely would have attempted to stop by. Sounds like fun from this thread!

[sherri52]

Just remember to put the seat back down. You'll be fine

[trannie T]

I have the perfect to wear, jeans, boots and a flannel shirt.

[Rogina B]

Or like you,anyway..Most all of the "L" bars are good with CDs.And there are all types of places from the t shirt ,jeans and workboots crowd to the business attire crowd. And,they have their social habits as well[hitting on/picking up] so it is always a good show to sit back and take in. In a rough "L" bar,the ladies room is far more trashed than a men's room! I suggest you lift the seat and put it back down like someone else suggested!LOL:2c:

[Julogden]

My main hang-out for a few years was a local lesbian bar. At that particular one, we CD's used the men's room, and it was full of females anyway. The owner preferred for us to stay out of the women's restroom, so most of us complied. A few CD's insisted on using the women's restroom and it did cause some hard feelings on the part of some of the women. My own rule back then was use the ladies room if in a men's bar and the men's room if in a women's bar, never had any problems.

Carol

[DeniseNJ]

I'm Back well heres how it went. The mapquest gave me crappy directions but I made it. There was a parking garage about 1/2 block away found a stall but had to leave my keys due to the way they parked cars. That bothered me as I have a new speed3 with 5K miles. So down to the street I go feeling a bit nervous but I did feel I looked OK >At the door I was greated by a older woman who gave me reasurance and threw me a compliment. Well I had these long nails on and I didn't know how to use my hands, they looked good tho. First stop was the rest room to see how I look, Yes Thursday was a deaI for $10 you get 8 drink tickets to use from 9:30 to 11:30 pm. I only used 4 cause I had to drive home as Denise and didn't want any problems. At first I was a fly on the wall , just trying to look pretty . There were a good # of butch type girls, some cute petite girls with a pixie haircuts and a few good looking ladies. After about 20 minutes one started to talk to me, she was stag and was looking for a GF. That broke the ice. than this nice cute girl says hi and we start to talk, she was hot about a size 2 and great cleavage very pretty, I saw her making out earlier with one of the butches. I asked her how old she thought I was, when she said 38 , I felt like screaming inside Yea I'm 51 she didn't believe me. I ended up sitting with these 2 girls that were checking me out from the bar, they made my evening . They told me they were happy to see people express themself we talked. They pulled me up on stage while they Karaoked and I danced behind them. By now I was feeling pretty good, I talked normal and didn't try to alter my voice , We went up stairs and the 2 girls grinded me between them on the dance floor and were smacking my butt as I was smacking theirs , I was starting to feel like one of the girls. Back down stairs and these other 2 cute girls come up to me and start talking , they seemed to enjoy my company and just wanted to be around me, one girl was amazed and said you walk better in those heels than I can. Another boost of femininity:thumbsup: They fixed my hair with a clip. One girl said she wanted to do my make-up someday, I got a phone # from a girl named rose , and she turned me on to a wedsite that she is on. . I get ready to leave and rose and her friend are outside and wanted me to stay hugs and kisses, saying you smell good what is it, I didn't even look at the perfume bottle. I enjoyed the walk back to the parking garage giving it my best girly walk, A cop was stopped on the corner and didn't look twice. I interacted with the garage attendants ,just being Dennis but feeling more like Denise I was asked to come back buy a couple girls. All in all I felt welcome Yes there were girls who didn't even seem to notice a girly girl was amoung them I was showing more leg than most the girls in there, try to sit with legs crossed tightly, got mad compliments on my pedicure and heels and my top too. That made me feel good. It would have been nicer to be there with another girl like me, I was told that Friday night a hand full of crossdressers stop by but tonight I was the only one there. NO CLAMS:doh::doh: Ok K girls:D

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Denise, There are a couple of bars that I went to in Connecticut and I find that the les girls are more friendly to us then the gay guys, they kind of look down there nose's at you. I even have gone out on date's with a couple we are all real people JUst go an let it flow ,have fun JO:hugs:

[Elaine Michelle]

It sounds like a fun, interesting and broadening experience Denise.

Thanks for being so adventurous and for sharing your experience.

Elaine

[Gisele]

:GD: I'm so happy to hear it went great for you!

[Karen7cd]

You have to remember, That you all have the same thing in common, you both like girls.
Talk about what you have in common to build relationships, then if the time is right talk about the differences. People all want to be accepted and love, does what is between the knees matter between friends?

[DeniseNJ]

You have to remember, That you all have the same thing in common, you both like girls.
Talk about what you have in common to build relationships, then if the time is right talk about the differences. People all want to be accepted and love, does what is between the knees matter between friends?

WOW you must have been there!!! those words are exactly what one of the girls said to me. I was talking to her just like another les would. We talked about love, girls, sex and she said to me what you said"" it don't matter what's down there,"" a personality matters most!!!

[Fran Moore]

On a successful outing Denise! That is much the same type of experience I have had in the past. Hope that gives you the confidence to do it again in the future, and thanks for sharing the outcome with us.

Suzanne:)

[Lainie]

& didn't seem to fit in... All the Ls wore sweatshirts & jeans suitable for gardening, while I wore a really nice dress, hose, heels... But they were nice, some were curious, no one unfriendly. I have never used a lady's room, but often find small places have unisex restrooms.

[Jenny Beth]

One of my very first outings with my wife was to a lesbian bar, we didn't know what to expect and we were both very nervous. Of course I stuck out like a sore thumb in a lace blouse, a knee length pleated skirt and heels but as the place got busier it seemed no one gave us more than a second look. At one point the owner came by our table (can't remember her name) and said we were welcome anytime. We never did go back, for one it was in a seedy part of town that I never felt comfortable in but mostly because back then I felt I might be pushing my wife's acceptance too far. Little did I know then that I'd soon be shopping dressed with her in broad daylight for an outfit to go to dinner in. :D

[Lorileah]

*trumpet flourish* Denise what a wonderful evening. And you thought the heels made you float...you didn't even know you had heels on did you? Now here's the deal, don't let this secret out or every guy will start wearing dresses so they can meet women in L bars. You must have looked wonderful. You made new friends, you danced, you were "you". Can't get any better than that :hugs:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Sounds like it pretty much went as expected....

Now wait till you go back again...it will be even better!!!!

Enjoy

[Deidra Cowen]

Gald to hear you had fun!

[boardpuppy]

from everything said, your evening was most enjoyable, so much so you make a girl want to go an enjoy an night out herself. Though your post was very enjoyable.

Hugs,
Alice

[tiffanyjo89]

I've never been to a bar/club (don't really see a reason too actually, but that's another topic), but I've heard of some heterosexual clubs where the restrooms are very hectic.

A lot of people + A lot of booze = People peeing wherever they can.

I've seriously heard of guys in ladies and ladies in guys rooms.

Heck, as a boy my mom would actually make me use the ladies room. She's one of those paranoid types who didn't want me or my sister to get out of eye's reach (that's another topic as well). As a boy I really looked like a boy, but she never really had anything said to her.

[Karen7cd]

I can not wait to go to one, I have always gotten along with L's we have so much in common. Men all want either grab my boobs, or slug me. I just smile at them and mention that it only takes 8 pounds of force to break an elbow...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Hi Denise...i've been to sisters many times....its a very friendly place

the lot right across the street is very friendly and the guys working there are totally used to trans people.

I have been there when there were as many 15 t people there!!

there is also a gay bar called tavern on camac that is very friendly

although folks are friendly generally..its not always the case when
you approach others...in every bar there are folks that want to beleft alone, and a lesbian bar is no different, plus some gals might not be "out" and are more closed...

the dance floor is a weekend hangout and there is lots of dancing at both places..

if you are in philly area, i can hook u up with lots of folks that go out to philly quite often

[AmberLynn]

Denise it sound's like you had a real ball out on the town :daydreaming: It's nice to see that there are some people other then a few s/o and wifes that are excepting of us. I hope you get to do it more often then not cause life is short :hugs: