living with contradictions

[Lainie]

I alternate long periods of regular guy & pink fog. Very occasionally in the fog I raise the issue with my wife, who invariably insists on remaining in denial and ignoring the issue. We were married decades ago in a decade without fog, so our relationship is solid, with no opening for expressions of feminity from me. Once she discovered lingerie in my laundry, so ever since we have each been doing our wash separately, which is no problem.
Recently I shaved my legs while away on business, & so had to confess/apologize to avoid surprising her. Usual response from her, "You can do what you want, but I don't want to touch them. Nothing feminine from you appeals to me & never has."
Then last month I was really overloaded with events & got behind on chores. She saw my full laundry basket and ran a load to help me out. I thnked her very sincerely. When I went to the laundry room to pick up the clothes and put them away, I saw everything neatly folded, but ...
Eeek! it has been very foggy around here lately, so my underwear was about half men's & half women's!
Couldn't think of a diplomatic way to ask "How do you like all my pretty panties, and the variety of styles & colors? Would you like to see the rest?" So I just thanked her again for being so nice and put them in the drawers, ready to wear again.

[Sara82]

if she is uncomfortable with the situation, I wouldn't try and pry her for her opionions on your colors of panties. If she wants to see them or ask something about them, she will ask. I would say consider it a nice gesture that she washed and folded your girl things, but don't use it to take a leap forward, cause she will most likely take another step back. Just move at her pace.

[Stephanie Miller]

Sounds like you did the right thing. Thanked her and left it at that. So many CD's take a simple gesture from thier SO as a "sign" that they want to be involved. Hogwash. You did right. You may feel like pushing your "agenda" on her but the best course of action is to stay the course. Most GG's I know will be forthright with thier desires for anything more from you - be it a little or a lot. They don't "send signals". (Am I on the right track GG's?) Push and they will just push back harder.

[joandher]

I think you have got to let them take the lead or think they are?

example-i wear clear nail varnish all the time now with my wifes approval,i said to her on a couple of occations that my nails were allways splitting what can i do about it she said you need some HARD AS NAILS varnish and went and got me some been wearing it since on my hands and a very light pink on my toes she says it looks lovely etc etc etc

let them sugest the cure, dont push

:hugs: J-JAY

[Joanne f]

Because we wish for it so much it is easy to forget that as with all things people are so different , we have a feminine side so we assume that all females will like all feminine things , well in reality this is not so .
But (always that but):heehee: even this can be a mind game for the person who refuses to acknowledge something in fear of what they really like for the simple reason of what it might mean if they did like it . :doh:

[Tora]

My wonderful bride of 47 years, allows nice nylon nightgowns and panties, for every night. I also have a cami and slip in the majic drawer. The rest of my stash is off site in a storage locker. She does not want to expand the wardrobe oppertunity, or shaving, or nail polish. I do pedicures for her, but that is where that tune ends. Not complaining, she is a keeper.

I do the laundry sometimes, for the lingerie. She would still be beating it on the rocks in a stream, well not that bad. But, you do
not wash lingerie with towels and jeans. She has found forbidden item in the machine over the years, my bad.

[Karren H]

If your SO is any where between 1 and 99% acceptance then you will live with contradictions... And they change over time... If your at zero or 100% then you know what the rules are..

[trannie T]

Since she washed and folded your undies it would be in your best interests to do something really nice for her.

[Lorileah]

um...maybe I am in a fantasy world but its laundry. I have never found washing, drying and folding anything to be sensual. And isn't it part of being married to share chores like that? Maybe next time you can help her with her laundry? Or maybe even do a load of towels.

[Marcia Blue]

My wife is tolerate of some things but not many. I can wear a gown to bed, and panties any time. She has shopped with me in drab.
I do have to keep my painted toe nails hidden from her view though.
Also, neither one of us, is ready for me, to dress in front of her.

[DaphneGrey]

Bravo! You did the right thing, She sounds like a great lady do something nice for her. Great job not pushing the issue! I know it's hard.