Becoming yourself

[Byllie]

I just thought I'd start another thread to talk more about the difference between dressing to become someone else, for awhile, and dressing to become yourself. As you all know, I fit into the latter category.

I love wearing skirts and, if things were different, I'd wear them as often as I could, with or without heals; actually I prefer flats.

I'd also wear nail polish every day, beautiful colors to reflect my mood, and maybe a dash of makeup, not too much, just a dash.

Of course, I'd still have my beard, but I keep it close trimmed so I believe that would not be a problem.

Some simple questions to get the ball rolling:


If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why? I'm assuming you don't do so already.
If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?
Lastly, do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why?

Toodles!
Byllie/Bill

[Kathi Lake]

Like you, I don't dress to become another person, but to finally reflect the truth of what is inside. On full-time clothing, I dress when the mood strikes. I wouldn't want to wear something feminine every day. I would like to wear a bit of makeup and maybe some nail polish. On days where I wanted to feel pretty, I would indeed dress up mire.

Kathi

[Byllie]

<snip> On days where I wanted to feel pretty, I would indeed dress up more.
Kathi
Kathi, what exactly would be "dressing up more" for you?

[Joanne f]

Personally i do not think that i would ever want to wear one thing all the time as i like to chop and change with my moods or on what i am doing or as they say a change is as good as a rest .

I wear a small amount of makeup most days , eye shadow, eye liner,mascara and nail varnish.

If you like to have facial hair and want to wear a skirt and some makeup i see no problem in that because you are just being natural and wearing what you like.

[Barbara Dugan]

I think everybody is different , I never under dress or wear an exterior clothing on a daily basis so in a sense I become someone else when I dress

[jenna_woods]

to answer the last question I think facial hair hav no place is crossdressing,

[Byllie]

to answer the last question I think facial hair hav no place is crossdressing,
Jenna ... why?

[Byllie]

4. If you dress to become more of who you really are, and not to look like a woman, should you still call it cross-dressing?

[Byllie]

If you like to have facial hair and want to wear a skirt and some makeup i see no problem in that because you are just being natural and wearing what you like.

Thank you!
:love:

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi, what exactly would be "dressing up more" for you?Honestly, I have to give the Universal Answer - it depends.

Some days, "dressing up more" would include a bra and forms under my normal male shirts. Some days it would be a cute flowy top over my khakis instead of my usual Oxford shirt. On the days when I felt extra pretty, it would be a dress and heels. Like a woman, there are just some days that we feel pretty and want to put a bit of extra effort into our appearance. When those days strike, I would love the opportunity to go for it.

Kathi

[Faith_G]

If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why? I'm assuming you don't do so already.
If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?
Lastly, do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why?
You made a very good observation about dressing to be yourself vs. dressing to be somebody else. Like you, I feel more like myself in my clothes.

There's no single external article of clothing I'm particularly stuck on.

Just light makeup, like any other woman. I don't really like the feeling of a heavy foundation but it's necessary to cover my beard.

Facial hair does not fit with MY crossdressing. I sure don't feel womanly with a beard. I hid behind one for 15 years and I'm not going back. When I had beard I would not even look at myself in a mirror while dressed, it ruined the whole mood for me. For YOUR crossdressing, do what makes you happy. I think folks like you and Butterfly Bill are cool. :hugs:

[sherri52]

I would wear a short bouncy skirt as my everyday outfit although I wear femme jeans every day now. I would wear makeup and I'm not trying to be someone else. I prefer to wear womens clothes because the fit better, have a larger selection and women are better looking than men.

[AmberLynn]

1. If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why? I'm assuming you don't do so already.

2. If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?

3. Lastly, do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why?

1.I would say a floor/ankel length skirt,i have bigger calf's and dont cross my leg's well. also dress's are kind of restricted where a skirt can be changed up with many top's

2.just a simple lip stick and light colored eyeshadow

3. short of the bearded lady at the circus i have yet to see a woman with facial hair so id say no face fur :heehee:

4. If you dress to become more of who you really are, and not to look like a woman, should you still call it cross-dressing? no,imop cross dressing is a blanet term used by socity to id men or women dressed in what they consider unproper clothing for there birth assigned gender. I can call my self a carrot and to everyone eles ill still be a crossdresser

[docrobbysherry]

However, I believe u may be blurring the obvious. :brolleyes:

TGs GENERALLY dress to be/express themselves. Whether that be; underdressing, or jeans/ heels and a T, or dressed to the 9's with a beard!:heehee:
( U may have gathered that from the replies so far).

That is NOT why I dress. I'm a CD. I wish to appear to be a woman when I dress. I don't need to "fool" u, or the public, just ME! The man-in-a-dress look is FINE. If U wish to appear that way!( With or without your beard). But, that look DOESN'T work for me.:doh:

I don't care which woman I resemble dressed, as long as I don't SEE MYSELF in my mirror, or picture, I'm PLEASED!:D

PS: I'm a CD with both a beard and stach!:thumbsup:

[bridget jones]

I'd wear heels and hose everyday and of course the non exterior PANTIES.I would go clean shavin with beard cover and do my make up to the 9's.Facial hair in my opinion does not go well with a female look.I'd love to wear nail polish on all nails.

[Byllie]

True or False

If you are a member of Tri-Ess you are not allowed to have facial hair.

[Byllie]

It would seem, as I expected, there are at least two groups of folks who visit this forum: those who CD to become another person, and those who CD to get closer to who they truly are inside.

(BTW, I do not limit the latter group to the TG community. I also include those like myself who have never seen themselves as simply male or female.)

[Lorileah]

I feel restricted :( as I do wear exterior "womens" (cuz that's the department they were in stuff everyday So I can't play the first question . OK I don't really feel restricted and I like this post.

I do wear women's shoes and socks and sometimes hose and nail polish (Ok so it's clear or opalescent) daily. Sometime tops too (sweaters and turtlenecks).

To answer question 2, enough just to enhance what I already got (and I do wear neutral lipstick)

3. Hey, go for the beard. In my opinion I am working towards allowing everyone to wear what the want (well except nudity...who wants to see that?) when ever they want. This should not be His clothes and Her clothes. And I am still awaiting the perfect LOGICAL answer to why we can't?

Personally I don't like facial hair on me. I just don't like it and don't like the feel. That's me about me

Why do we HAVE to look lie a woman? Where does that rule come in the CD handbook? Hey you want to look like a woman, go for it. You want to wear makeup in "male" mode, that's cool too, beard? absolutely. It has been pointed out here a million times, why do you have to conform to any template and why do we as CD's tend to be the biggest bigots when it comes to that?

And I vote to get rid of the crossdresser label (and labels in general). Honestly the majority of people here would soon tire of going full out everyday if they were "allowed" to (BTW who the heck is stopping them from going all out? Them.)

[AmberLynn]

Since i had no idea what tri-ess was i looked it up :heehee: im gonna say false as it say's on there home page "finding a balence between masculinty and femanity. now i need to further investagatr tri-ess

[Lorileah]

Ok here I go again with my personal opinion. The gender group here has, let's say unspoken rules. They try and mold everyone into frumpy (yes I said that) dowdy and bland caricatures of what they think "nice" women should be and look like. So I doubt beards would be accepted. Don't have any contact with any Tri-ess groups but like Groucho said I wouldn't belong to a club that would have me as a member and certainly not a club that had such rigid rules that you couldn't be who or what you are.

[AmberLynn]

in just the last 5 min's of cruiseing there site,a thread poped up about tri-ess with less then happy feeling's for them. as i dont know more then what i have read on there main page,they do seem to want to change who you ultimatly are?


ill leave this to someone that has actully had a expirince with them

[DaisyG]

1. Pretty shoes. No, not those 4-inch heels we all love. Classic pumps 2-inch to 3-inch would be fine. Or like the 1-inch Mary Janes I'm wearing right now. Just something pretty. :)

2. A touch of eye shadow and a little mascara - - to give my 70 year old eyes a little sparkle and make them visible from behind my bifocals. And I need some lipstick before I can feel right. Usually a pink shade. :daydreaming:

3. Beards just are not compatible with a feminine face. Please don't stint on that razor blades & concealer budget! :heehee:

When I dress, it is to suit how I feel. After I've dressed I look in the mirror and say aloud "That's Me!" No, I don't change into anyone else. It's just an alternate view of me, as my environment may permit at the moment. :)

Daisy

[sissystephanie]

If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why? I'm assuming you don't do so already.
If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?
Lastly, do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why? Toodles!
Byllie/Bill

I do wear a skirt, or a skort, at least part of almost every day. If I could, I would wear skirts full time! Maybe with tights during cold weather! I do wear heels often, but only low ones(2" or lower). Rarely wear flats.

Since my wife passed away, I pretty much quit wearing makeup. She always did mine for me, because I am not good at it. I sometimes wear lipstick, but that is all.

Nothing against you, or anyone else, but I don't see a match between facial hair and crossdressing. I might do stuff around the house without shaving my face, but I do not go out in public that way!!

I have no desire to be a woman, I just love to dress like one!! So I don't fit into either group that you mentioned in a second post on this thread!

[Frédérique]

If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why? I'm assuming you don't do so already.

Oh, I’d wear a skirt or a dress all the time – right now I can accomplish that feat about 75% of the time. These magical girly wrappers keep me mentally safe, happy, and warm…


If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?

I’d wear lipstick every day and go from there – one thing leads to another, and soon I’d be wearing all sorts of makeup all the time. My eyebrows, by necessity, would also need to be perfect…:battingeyelashes:


Lastly, do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why?

Not in my case, but I’ve never allowed my facial hair to grow for any reason – I can’t even stand a one-day growth! I wouldn’t go the Frida Kahlo route, either, purely out of respect…

[TJ Tresa]

Let me see, #1 - I would wear, capris, blouses, dresses, skirt, everything a woman wears on a daily bases, however, i would also wear my male clothes whenever the mood strikes, again just like real womem.
#2 - Again depending on the mood, a little lipstick, eyeshadow, not much, or nothing.
#3 - I don't think it would look good on a man trying to look female, butt if the world accepted us dressing and nothing was ever said or done, then I would by no means see anything wrong with it, as a matter of fact as good as some of these girls look, (not myself unfortunately,) it would be the only way to tell them apart from the real women.

[Joanne f]

Byllie,
first of all i will apologise to you for using the term "male" in this explanation of how i come to my conclusion that it is in my opinion OK to have facial hair if you want it, as i know some would be offended by me using the term "male" on here.
All as i done was to ask myself, is it acceptable for a male to wear a skirt, my answer was "yes it is "
Then i asked myself, is it acceptable for a male to wear makeup, my answer was "yes it is "
Then i asked myself is it acceptable for anyone ,male or female to have facial hair, my answer was "yes it is "
So simply put all three together and what do i get , "yes in my opinion it is acceptable "
I used the term "Male" as no one would be questioning it if it was a FAB.:)

[JamieOH]

wow. Yeah.. I have a moustache right now... And I agree, facial hair has nothing to do with it. Wear a beard, and a skirt.. cool.. If your happy and comfy.. shoot yeah.. to go along with another question of yours there though, is it really crossdressing? no, so I guess maybe they are right.. a beard has no part in crossdressing, well, male to female crossdressing.. Since the idea is to look like a woman. Though I have seen some women with way more facial hair than me. You are dressing to be you, an androgonous mixture of femininity and masculinity. A person who isnt tryin to change gender, just wearing clothing that you like and think is pretty. That means you are NOT a male to female crossdresser. You are a dude with style. Me on the other hand.. I like to wear so many womens clothes.. and given the opportunity, I would dress in skirts and dresses all the time.. nonstop.. high heels, sandals, you name it.. And I even had a dream last night that a doctor gave my penis to my wife, and gave me the female parts.. so we traded gender... go figure..
what a wonderful dream it was... sigh

[Stephanie Stephens]

If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why? I'm assuming you don't do so already.
If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?
Lastly, do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why?


1) Tops, I love women's tops. With a bra of course.

2) lite lipstick

3) In my opinion facial hair basically is not a feminine trait. If I could I would have mine removed permanently. My inner fem self does not have facial hair.

[gemsay32]

If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why? I'm assuming you don't do so already.
If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?
Lastly, do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why?


1) Tops, I love women's tops. With a bra of course.

2) lite lipstick

3) In my opinion facial hair basically is not a feminine trait. If I could I would have mine removed permanently. My inner fem self does not have facial hair.

Facial hair is more of a hassle than anything else. Many men without gender-identity problems or whatnot remove their facial hair. They probably have different reasons. When I have the money, I can see myself oneday removing some of it, but not all of it. I'd mainly remove it from my neck and most of my face. I'd keep it on my chin and above my upper lip just in case I ever want it.

[suchacutie]

Not easy, first of all because I don't want to blend the genders, but outward appearance is not necessarily the be-all end-all of it for me. To me the most important is mindset, psychology, and world-view. Tina is a part of my overall personality, and I don't want her blended in, mentally. I think that a well-manicured set of nails is positive in masculine and feminine modes, as is moisturized skin and lips. Why do we have to look terrible in as our masculine selves? My wife just mentioned yesterday that my hands looks so much better now that I've been using a hand cream daily! I enjoy the fact that my wife might just enjoy my masculine side a bit more by taking care of it and presenting it in ways that I wouldn't without the facts that Tina has learned about body presentation! So with that background, here are my idiocyncratic answers to the three questions:

1) I've addressed this by doing it: tight low-rise jeans, colorful form-fitting shirts, great ties, well-tailored suits, sweater-vests that are often from VS (just better than those sold for men, often!). In general, I love using what Tina now knows about dressing as a woman to make my masculine side look as terrific as possible!

2) Matte nail polish is a must, some mascara (usually clear, sometimes a little brown touch-up), and a bit of lip gloss/plumper to keep the lips moisturized. I also go through a full moisurizing every morning, toning, and eye creams to keep the wrinkles away for both of my genders. Tina has been around for only 4 years, but there is no doubt that my masculine self has benefitted from what she has learned. And..okok...I cover some blemishes with concealer ever now and again....damned vanity!

3) When I wear a beard it's well trimmed. I asked my wife early on whether a beard was a problem for her in treating Tina as Tina. She answered, "of course not!". Usually, since my beard is almost completely white, a little foundation colors it all and it mostly blends in. From a distance the beard vanishes. However, I had an interesting experience the other day when dressing when my wife wasn't home. I didn't have much time so I skipped the makeup and wig. What I noticed was that as long as I didn't stare in the mirror, it was still Tina! I prefer the whole transformation, but as long as I was not presenting to someone else, it was a "private" transformation. I still have to think about what that meant, but the facial hair, like all the other "male" traits, is just one more male clue we are dealing with. Not having facial hair doesn't make the woman. It's just one of many issues that must be dealt with to pass in public!

tina

[5150 Girl]

If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why?

I like skirts, hose, and heels.
I'd keep my nails painted. Why not they're already kept long anyway


If you could, how much makeup would you wear every day?

Lipstick and a hint of eyeshadow at least.


do you see facial hair as fitting in with crossdressing or not, and why?
I hate my beard. If I could afford laser to kill it I would

[Ruth]

If you could wear any item of exterior clothing full-time, what would it be and why?
For me it would be shoes. I love the different style and structure of women's shoes.
And in answer to the other question, I dress to be more myself, not someone else. This means I dress much like a not very glamorous middle-aged woman, but, I'm afraid, that's me.

[meri]

I really don't have an alternate personality, "Meri" is a name I adopted for this forum and is actually a character that I ran in a FRP game (spelled it Merry -- it was a hobbit like male).

My interest is in developing myself as I am and uncovering things that have been repressed and allowing them to float to the surface.

I recognized my feminine side late in life, but looking back, it's clear to me and my wife that it has always been part of me. I believe I repressed conscious knowledge of my feminine side as well.

Thus, now that I recognize this in myself, it opens up possibilities that I had never considered before. I actually discovered I liked some clothing, interestingly enough, a lot of the clothing I like is generally worn by women. So, I am trying to integrate some items into my day-to-day life. For example, I enjoy skirts because of the comfort, but also the look in general. I have worn them in public in guy mode and will do so more and more often as the mood strikes and my fear levels abate.

Bottom line for me is to blend items from both sides of the aisle. The goal is to strike a fashionable balance between the two and create an outfit that is believable (at least in some universe). Have had some good experiences with this, will continue to experiment.

[suchacutie]

I'm not sure I answered the whole question:

The fact is that dressing to be Tina IS dressing to be a part of me. That's probably the whole reason I spend all this time and effort! She is a part of me I have never known and I want to know who she is without the blur of my masculine self. So, yes, I dress temporarily to be Tina, but I see it as a phase shift, not a move to someone else.

tina