should I break up with her....should I tell her?

[bridget jones]

I am stuck,not sure what to do.I have had a girlfriend for about 6 months now that is friends with friends of mine.I want to dress in full and I'm not sure what to do.When I dress completely I shave my body and I love the way it feels but I'm not sure how she'll react to any of the CDing.I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to go through another episode like my X-wife and I had.I also feel the desire to be with a man,not sure if it's dressing that makes me want a man or if I may be gay and need to experience it.I wanted you girls to share your thoughts and opinions on this matter.

[Faith_G]

If you really love her you should give her a chance.

[CharleneT]

Has she noticed the shaving ? It sounds like you are very much in the closet, yet want her to know and understand. That will have to start with talk and listening ... As for just breaking up with her before you tell her, that is truly cutting off your nose to piss off your face...

I think, maybe, you should find a therapist who has some experience with TG issues and start getting some help and advice about what you are going thru.

[alexis GG]

If I were you Bridget I would be open and honest with the cd'ing and how you feel... after all a relationship which isn't based on the full truth is not a full relationship where trust is conccerned... I think thems the right words.... What would be worse your GF finding out for herself or you being totally honest with her about it... Good luck with however you deal with this

[sherri52]

If your afraid of being outed by the girlfriend to your other friends, you'll just have to take your chances or live the life you are now living (in the closet). She may be acceptable, you won't know until the time comes. If you are feeling that you may have gay tendencies, they are going to come out anyway and your friends will know that as well. In either case you could lose some of your friends. Many people are superfiscial and the slightest change can turn them away. In any case the decision is yours and I hope you get some better advice here.

[kellycan27]

If you really love her you should give her a chance.

If he loves her? he has been doing this since he was a young kid. Not like some sudden revelation. Dressing and and having thoughts of being with men are not new to him. I don't know if cross dressing caused problems with his ex-wife, probably so. Why in the world would he begin a new relationship with another woman without coming clean in the beginning? Why in the world would he begin a new relationship with a woman if he had it in mind to be with men? Did he not learn anything from his previous experience? He says that he doesn't want to hurt her.... Do you really think he cares about her? He's worried about her reaction to his cross dressing. (worried about himself). There is no doubt in my mind that after investing 6 months in a relationship and then getting dumped... she will be hurt. I hope that nobody that reads the OP will enable him to do her wrong. IMHO ,he is looking for some kind of reinforcement from us to clear his conscious. he asked for our opinion.. Can you guess mine? It starts with the letter "a" and ends the letter "e".

kelly

[Rogina B]

And,Iwill add...Why did you wait so long?? You aren't playing fair!!!:thumbsdn:

[AmberLynn]

I think the first thing should be to consult a gender therpist as far as i know no one here is,we mearly have opion's.

If the therpist is out of the question my advice would be as follow's

1. Sit your girlfiend down and tell her the truth straight,dont try and sugar it and call it candy
2.re read number 1 :thumbsup: you have to be honest if you want thing's to work with her.
3.we cant pick are sexualty,we can try to mask it but in the end it will! come out,if you feel a certon attraction to men while dressed and undressed you may be and i hate to use this word gay. if it is only while dressed you maybe gender confused. we are not pycoligst or analist,but do have are own feeling's and expirences that we give advice from.


i hope this is of help,just rember the truth! it's number 1 and is about the best advice i can give. and if cding and or possably being gay "gah theres that word again" then maybe they were not your true freind's in the first place :hugs:

[sherri]

I'd say you have to hope for the best and anticipate the worst. If she decides to split, is she a gracious person who would part on good terms and protect your secret? Or would she get pissed and out you to your friends? You said you're not sure how she'll react, so if getting outed is a problem for you, I'd have to be sure before I'd let the cat out of the bag.

I sympathize with both you of you, but not equally -- a little bit with you because of your dilemma, but mostly with her for the double whammy she may be in for, i.e. you're a crossdresser and you may be gay, neither of which she bargained for. Or, she may be about to get dumped through no fault of her own. (Btw, if you like GGs too, you're not gay, you're bi -- or should I say bi-curious. There's a difference.)

The question you should be asking yourself is, what's the right thing to do?

[bridget jones]

I'm not looking for assurance just opinions.I love women,but I'm not sure I love men.I am curious in men.Maybe you believe I should have been with a man before I met her but life did'nt play the cards for that to happen my way.I'll just have to wait and see what comes next.

[kellycan27]

I'm not looking for assurance just opinions.I love women,but I'm not sure I love men.I am curious in men.Maybe you believe I should have been with a man before I met her but life did'nt play the cards for that to happen my way.I'll just have to wait and see what comes next.

I don't believe that at all, I believe that if you suspected that you might want to be with a man you may have given it more thought before involving this poor woman. More important than whether or not you would like to be with a guy is the fact that you knew that cross dressing could be harmful if not fatal to a relationship, but you totally ignored the fact and went ahead with it anyway without the slightest bit of concern for her feelings. You took away her right to freely choose if that was something that she could abide by. Your wait and see attitude is exactly what I am talking about. Man up and tell her the truth and and stop making excuses to justify your unfair behavior. If she walks.... that's the way it goes. Maybe the next time you'll have gained some insight as to how to treat someone that you care about. Relationships built on one sidedness and deceit rarely stand the test of time.

[Lorileah]

OK, I'll put in my opinion. Better now than later. There I addressed the OP.

Now about the gender therapist???? Come on, they are no different than anyone here. They are just support and opinion at 250$ an hour. read through the old posts and you will see that even some "licensed therapists" think that we are nuts. Not helpful. Bridget isn't having issues with her dressing. She is having issues as to when (if) she tells her GF.

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but the light bulb has to want to change. I think most of here are still brightly lit and done need to change

[MsJanessa]

if you think the relationship is going to be long term, permanent then now is the time to come clean with her---I wouldn't worry too much about not telling her before---very few of us would be willing to disclose our crossdressing during the first few months of a relationship---and six months of dating somebody, even when it involves sex, is hardly an "investment"---but if you think the relation ship is headed for the longterm, now is the time to tell her.
But you might want to seriously consider whether you want a ltr with this lady, particularly in view of your potential interest in men---if you are newly divorced, my advice is not to get into a commited relationship right away--experiment with your crossdressing and examine your bisexuality without guilt---which means don't get involved in a relationship where you will feel compelled to cheat or suppress your own sexuality. Good luck what ever you decide

[Sammy777]

1) I have had a girlfriend for about 6 months now
2) that is friends with friends of mine.
3) I want to dress in full and I'm not sure what to do.
4) When I dress completely I shave my body and I love the way it feels but I'm not sure how she'll react to any of the CDing.
5) I am stuck,not sure what to do.
6) I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to go through another episode like my X-wife and I had.
7) I also feel the desire to be with a man,
not sure if it's dressing that makes me want a man or if I may be gay and need to experience it.
7a) I love women,but I'm not sure I love men.
7b) I am curious in men.
8) I'm not looking for assurance just opinions.


I hear what you are saying....
Now lets see what you mean.... :D
1) I'm divorced [mostly likely because you kept your CD'ing from your wife.]
And now I'm doing the same thing I did last time. [Keeping it from yet another woman] - AGAIN.

2) Seems the ONLY reason this is a problem is because you're so in the closet your finding Christmas presents and telling her might mean your friends will find out too. Oh MY heavens forbid!

3&4) I guessing then that you haven't dressed since meeting her if you don't know how she will react to you having no body hair. It's been 6 months and your getting the itch now?

5) Stuck? More like scared she AND more importantly your friends might find out.

6) Dont want to hurt her? Sounds more like you don't want to be dumped again or have your secret out to anyone else.

7, 7a, 7b) First: What ever happen to bi??
Why is it always just str8 or gay when it comes to this?
AND as far as "maybe" being gay? If you have to think about, then your not.

"Maybe its the clothes" - SORRY! Wrong answer.
Putting on a baseball hat doesn't make you want to play ball
A flannel shirt doesn't make you want to chop down a tree.
and picking up a guitar doesn't make you Eddie Van Halen. :lol2:
So why does putting on a dress SUDDENLY make guys attractive?

Either you like guys, or you don't - DO something about it or don't, Just don't blame it on the clothes you happen to be wearing at the time. It's a Frackin BS cop out and you know it.

8) I think what you were looking for was someone to agree with you and say it's ok honey you did nothing wrong.
Well your NOT getting that from me.
You screwed the pooch on your marriage with this.
You doing it all over again with this poor woman.
Seems you are not even trying to learn from your mistakes.
You say you want to look out for this woman, but it's a very thin veil covering what you really want - And that is to cover your own pretty pink satin covered ass.

Maybe next time you will figure it out and tell "whoever" you end up with next about your dressing and your gay fantasies.
Because remember - no matter what you may look like out, once you are in the bedroom and the clothes are off - it is still two guys sharing a bed. :heehee:

You should know better by now. So please spare us the "she dumped me" thread when/if she boots you to the curb!

[Presh GG]

Now, pardon me while I go kiss my dear TG husband Because she is Nothing like you
Let the lady get on with her life while you go figure it out.

Kelly and Samantha ,you have this ones number

Springtime GG

[Blaire]

He says that he doesn't want to hurt her.... Do you really think he cares about her? He's worried about her reaction to his cross dressing. (worried about himself).

Other than this part, which isn't necessarily mutually exclusive, ditto.

[Emily01]

Kelly and Samantha ,you have this ones number

DITTO!!:thumbsup:

[Kroma]

I told my current gf three months in and she and I worked through it... now we're working through it again, but we've never given up on each other. BTW, we've been together over 2 years now, and it's just become an issue again.

[slamddoger]

yes she need to know . by tale her give the opt. to say our go.

[erickka]

Openness and honesty in communication is the root for any successful relationship. Believe me I know.... I've been married to the same wonderful lady for 26 years. Good luck.
Erickka

[Sandra]

See if you'd told her right at the begining then most likey you wouldn't be asking here now.

Tell her now, yes she's going to be hurt, hurt that you've kept it from her, hurt that she probably feels that you couldn't trust her with this.

As for the clothes probably making you feel that you want a man...come on clothes don't make you want a man, your either wired that way or not, so come clean your either gay or bi, but please don't say it's the clothes.

[irmichelle]

Married 27 years. My wife knows everything. She doesn't agree with it but she supports it. I'm allowed to dress anytime I want at home and I am allowed to wear stuff under my work clothes but nothing frilly. Had a few accidents that my wife had to explain at emergency because I was passed out. Honesty is the only way. Whatever way it goes you will feel so much better about being honest. Don't just shove it in her face though. That could backfire because humans don't like to have their backs against the wall. The guy thing, I would say is normal. I have those desires every single day. I would do it in a sec except for all the diseases running around.

[KarenCDFL]

After reading all of the posts here, I am sure glad I never ask questions like this.

I would be ready to jump off the nearest bridge.

This person is confused and in conflict. But then again thats a standard on this forum except for the one person who called this person an A_____E of course. They must be perfect in everyway.

The person asked for help and as the thread grew, the comments got nastier and more heavy handed. Nice way to support someone.

I dressed all my life and told my ex and my current wife a few months after we got serious. My first marriage did not work out for several reasons and my second is fantastic. 16 years together and gets stronger every day. And yes she knows and accepts.

And yes I did break it off 3 months after we got serious cause I was afraid to tell her. After a week I wound up crawling back to her and we sat down and I opened up and told her everything and it took awhile but we both worked it out. Did I screw up and hurt her? No doubt about it. I was wrong but fear was a more powerful factor than hurting her at that moment in time.

Lets face it, we are physically guys, men, males, XY's who for some reason want to look like or be girls/women. And society as it stands today just does not accept that as "NORMAL" behavior. Is it any wonder why this guy is confused and scared? Just like most of us.

Read the average posts:

"Do you think I can pass"
"How does this dress look"
"I tried to go buy a dress but"
And of course: "How do I tell my ...."

Except for a select few who have decided to live as they feel (more power to ya!), the rest of us continue to live with some level of conflict of what we look like and what we feel. And people who have transitioned or just live the fem life have no reason to look down on the rest of us who don't.

Just my thoughts. Flame me or not.

I just can't accept to see someone being beat up or ganged up on for asking a question that gives this Forum some true meaning.

You can post your pics all day and ask "How do I Look" or you can use this Forum for what it is here for, trying to figure out how the hell am I going to live the rest of my life with the conflict of wanting to dress up and is some cases feeling that you are in the wrong physical body.

I have to tell you, at almost 52 years old, I know I am never going to be who I am inside. I have this pain pounding me 24/7 and there is nothing I can do to reconcile this fact. Luckily I do have a great support system with my wife and that helps more than I can say.

So next time some confused person posts something here, how about pointing them in the right direction for help instead of having a public stoning.

[kellycan27]

After reading all of the posts here, I am sure glad I never ask questions like this.

I would be ready to jump off the nearest bridge.

This person is confused and in conflict. But then again thats a standard on this forum except for the one person who called this person an A_____E of course. They must be perfect in everyway.

The person asked for help and as the thread grew, the comments got nastier and more heavy handed. Nice way to support someone.

I dressed all my life and told my ex and my current wife a few months after we got serious. My first marriage did not work out for several reasons and my second is fantastic. 16 years together and gets stronger every day. And yes she knows and accepts.

And yes I did break it off 3 months after we got serious cause I was afraid to tell her. After a week I wound up crawling back to her and we sat down and I opened up and told her everything and it took awhile but we both worked it out. Did I screw up and hurt her? No doubt about it. I was wrong but fear was a more powerful factor than hurting her at that moment in time.

Lets face it, we are physically guys, men, males, XY's who for some reason want to look like or be girls/women. And society as it stands today just does not accept that as "NORMAL" behavior. Is it any wonder why this guy is confused and scared? Just like most of us.

Read the average posts:

"Do you think I can pass"
"How does this dress look"
"I tried to go buy a dress but"
And of course: "How do I tell my ...."

Except for a select few who have decided to live as they feel (more power to ya!), the rest of us continue to live with some level of conflict of what we look like and what we feel. And people who have transitioned or just live the fem life have no reason to look down on the rest of us who don't.

Just my thoughts. Flame me or not.

I just can't accept to see someone being beat up or ganged up on for asking a question that gives this Forum some true meaning.

You can post your pics all day and ask "How do I Look" or you can use this Forum for what it is here for, trying to figure out how the hell am I going to live the rest of my life with the conflict of wanting to dress up and is some cases feeling that you are in the wrong physical body.

I have to tell you, at almost 52 years old, I know I am never going to be who I am inside. I have this pain pounding me 24/7 and there is nothing I can do to reconcile this fact. Luckily I do have a great support system with my wife and that helps more than I can say.

So next time some confused person posts something here, how about pointing them in the right direction for help instead of having a public stoning.

I guess that you believe that because the OP has some issues, his SO is fair game to be treated in any way that he chooses to treat her. it's not his fault, he's confused. There are things that you can do to reconcile the fact, ( with regards to your situation)whether you choose to do them is up to you. Why don't you? Is it your sense of fair play? Would you treat her like that?
What you refer to as a public stoning, I think some of us refer to as tough love. You are not a newby here, i am sure that you have seen all the posts of ruined relationships, and broken families because of secrets kept and deceit.
Most of us are no stranger to the turmoil that being different brings. Who is being more supportive? You, for seemingly turning a blind eye because the OP has issues, or me because I put my foot in his ass, because I believe that treating an SO fairly, being open, and working to try to understand just where the OP is going with this cross dressing thing before he puts himself and his SO into an uncomfortable situation is much more constructive and conducive to a happier and longer lasting relationship. Sometimes we ALL ( including me) need a smack upside our heads to help us focus. If we didn't care we would have just by-passed the thread all together....Who cares? it's not our problem. No I am not perfect in every way, but I do know what it feels like to be screwed over, and it's not a very nice feeling..... no matter what side of the fence you're on.

[AllieSF]

I agree with Karen CDFL. There are so many here that feel that their way is the only way. However, none of them, nor do I, know what are the true and detailed circumstances of someone's specific situation when asking for assistance from the Forum's members. One thing is to recommend that someone come clean with their SO. It is a totally different thing to ridicule someone for not acting they way the poster feels that they should act. Chill out and give them a break. Name calling is inappropriate.

Now to the original poster's question. You appear to still be defining who you may be and what your sexual orientation is. Also, from what you have written, it appears that you like this person and want to take the realtionship further. However, unless you "really" like this person and strongly want to establish a long term relationship with her, I think that it is too soon to have the "coming out" conversation. I think that should be done when you know that she is the one. You stated that she is also friends with some of your friends and if she reacts negatively and has a quirky personality, she may out you anyway to others if seems gets upset with you. As someone above mentioned, try to get a better understanding of her acceptance of the GLBT scene, acceptance of differences in others (culture, life styles, religions, etc.). That will give you a better indication of how she may react to the "news". Good luck, and keep trying your best.

[kellycan27]

I agree with Karen CDFL. There are so many here that feel that their way is the only way. However, none of them, nor do I, know what are the true and detailed circumstances of someone's specific situation when asking for assistance from the Forum's members. One thing is to recommend that someone come clean with their SO. It is a totally different thing to ridicule someone for not acting they way the poster feels that they should act. Chill out and give them a break. Name calling is inappropriate.

Don't you believe that being open,honest and fair in the way that we conduct our daily lives should be the only way? Especially when dealing with a wife or SO? Yes, I was a bit harsh, but wouldn't a failed relationship be worse? Wouldn't the hurt and suffering ( to both) that may be caused by not being open and honest be more injurious than some harsh words?
Maybe I should be more PC because this is after all, a forum for cross dressers. Maybe you feel that being such, we should just pat someone on the head and agree that their actions are appropriate,due to their true,detailed and specific situations? never mind the affect that this has on the other person, it's only you that matters. I am sorry i just don't believe that we can justify our actions at the expense of others. if we don't take responsibility... who will? Is not an ounce of prevention truly worth a pound of cure?

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I am sorry i just don't believe that we can justify our actions at the expense of others. if we don't take responsibility... who will? Is not an ounce of prevention truly worth a pound of cure?

YES! everything Kelly has said is almost spot on with what I was thinking. The O/P needs to take whatever time they need to figure themselves out before committing long term to someone that may well get hurt should the O/P decide that men are more enjoyable.

Zarabeth

[CherylFlint]

Can't live a lie, she deserves the truth.

[Presh GG]

Bridget asked an honest question, she got an honest answer.
This is why we're here.

The gg may surprize her, but she should know herself better before wasting any more of the s/o's time and love. "hurting her " now is better than hurting her later , after all Bridget has said more than once she's male lover curious...And you can't blame that on clothes.

Peace
springtime GG

[KayC]

It sounds like you're still figuring yourself out, and as such, you may not be quite ready for a LTR. The person you are seeing deserves better than lies and secrets, however. Someone suggested you might want to see a therapist to help you figure it out, and that might be a good idea, one than specializes in gender issues. If you have led the OP to believe you are in a relationship, you owe it to her to come clean...whether you continue the relationship or not. You haven't given her a chance and that doesn't seem quite fair. As another person here suggested, you might want to check her responses and reactions to other issues to see how open she is and what her treatment might be to you if you came out to her. Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone that I couldn't discuss any and all issues with and couldn't trust to be respectful and considerate. JMHO. Good luck in figuring it out...

[Emily01]

After reading all of the posts here, I am sure glad I never ask questions like this.

I would be ready to jump off the nearest bridge.

....The person asked for help and as the thread grew, the comments got nastier and more heavy handed. Nice way to support someone.

Just my thoughts. Flame me or not.

.....I just can't accept to see someone being beat up or ganged up on for asking a question that gives this Forum some true meaning.

.....So next time some confused person posts something here, how about pointing them in the right direction for help instead of having a public stoning.

i'd like to agree with you, i really would. because you make a cogent case for compassion, tolerance and patience.

the reason i can't agree is because the scenario written by the OP, including the title, leads me to believe that, at this moment in time, she's self-centered in the extreme and behaving recklessly with other people's lives, never mind her own.

we're not going to solve too awfully many problems for people here, we don't know enough nor are we qualified. but if we see someone who's thinking is decidedly unhealthy, harmful to others, and blind to the consequences....a verbal slap upside the head might be the most useful thing that happens.

i reread the entire post and i didn't read any words intended to tear down indiscriminately, i did read what appeared to be an honest reflection of the OP's behavior and how that behavior might reasonably be described by an observer.

we're people so we're flawed, but when we ask for the opinions of others we darn well have to be prepared and willing to hear things we may not like.

but what i ask is the "right direction"? i'd say it's a commitment to therapy. think that message would actually get through? i don't, not by itself at least. strong words with "please get some help right now!".....that may work....somehow i doubt it though.

[Sammy777]

I think the first thing should be to consult a gender [-]therpist[/-] therapist as far as i know no one here is

I may not be a therapist, but I do play one on TV and I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night! :D

1. Sit your [-]girlfiend[/-] girlfriend down and tell her the truth straight,dont try and sugar it and call it candy

The one thing we agree on.
And don't forget to mention the "I like other men" part either.
No sense in leaving that nugget for a later time.

3.we cant pick are [-]sexualty[/-] sexuality,
if you feel a [-]certon[/-] certain attraction to men while dressed and undressed you may be gay.

The OP seems to have no problem being with women.
Yet he also wants to be with a man.
So, the word everybody likes to dance around is Bisexual. Come on say it along with me .... Bi Sexual.

What is so bad about possibly being a bisexual man?
When a girl says she's bisexual though -
It's all sexy sexy lesbian 3 way girly girl fun time.
But a bisexual man??? Oh no we can't have that!
Your either super heterosexual or you Must be "Gay".
Am I missing something here? Really, come on?

if it is only while dressed you maybe gender confused.
we are not [-]pycoligst[/-] psychologists or [-]analist[/-] analysts.

I will say it again for the cheap seats.
Using the "I only like/want a man while dressed is usually nothing more then someone not ready to come to terms with being something other then a 100% straight heterosexual manly man. [See above]

and if cding and or [-]possably[/-] possibly being gay then maybe they were not your true [-]freind's[/-] friends in the first place .

He is not talking [directly anyway] about his friends.
He is talking about a women that he has been in a relationship with for SIX months now. A relationship he started AFTER getting a divorce due to lying to his wife about this very same thing! Hello.....

Sorry if my bluntness offends :D

[Kate17]

One more opinion to share:

You will spend the rest of your life re living the past failure ( marriage) or you will live a life of regret unless you confront it now. Talk to her or go find someone else. Ask a lot of us older cd's who did live in the closet for many years and finally came out - suddenly springtime! Find the right mate who will accept you now and you will cherish the decision. It's not easy but it is better than the alternative. If you are only looking for shorter term relationships, it is even easier. You need to tell your new partner early on so that if something does develop, you don't have the dilemma. If she tells you to bug off, you have not lost much emotionally.

As for men and women - the question is now whether you are bi or straight. If you really like women ( sex) , you are not gay - are you. Try a few guys and see if you like the experience. It's not that hard to find a few one night stands with CD lovin guys. Now if you like it, your life just got a little more complicated !!!!

[Sammy777]

After reading all of the posts here, I am sure glad I never ask questions like this.

I would be ready to jump off the nearest bridge.

Sorry you feel that you can't ask these kind of questions.
I wish you would, I'd love to help. :D

This person is confused and in conflict. But then again thats a standard on this forum except for the one person who called this person an A_____E of course. They must be perfect in everyway.

Talk about throwing stones from a glass house.
I happen to see a lot of happy and well adjusted people on this site.
And as far as the OP goes - Confused??
No, more like concerned about covering his ass - Again!
If one does not learn from the mistakes of the past they are doomed to repeat those mistakes.
And that is EXACTLY what is going on here.
He kept this from his wife and is now, once again, putting himself ahead of others he has brought into his life.

The person asked for help and as the thread grew, the comments got nastier and more heavy handed. Nice way to support someone.

Again, oppies! Sorry.:daydreaming:
But I will NOT stand by or worse yet tell them or anyone else "Oh it's gonna be all OK, it's not your fault, you did nothing wrong, come cry on auntie Sam's shoulder.
That does nothing but to re-enforce the OP's last and seemly now current [repeated] mistake.

Nasty? Heavy Handed? Tuff Love, a swift foot in the ass or a smack of reality. Call what you will but it's very much needed sometimes, and not just by the OP.

Lets face it, we are physically guys, men, males, XY's who for some reason want to look like or be girls/women. And society as it stands today just does not accept that as "NORMAL" behavior. Is it any wonder why this guy is confused and scared? Just like most of us.

Sorry - Have to disagree - Again.
[I'll save space - just re-read what I wrote above.] :D

And people who have transitioned or just live the fem life have no reason to look down on the rest of us who don't.

EXCUSE ME!?!
Am I brutally honest? Yes
But at what point was I ever "looking down my nose" at the OP?
Or anybody else for that matter? Hmmm?

Just my thoughts. Flame me or not. OK :D

I just can't accept to see someone being beat up or ganged up on for asking a question that gives this Forum some true meaning.

Truthful honest answers to questions like this give this site meaning and depth as well.

So next time some confused person posts something here, how about pointing them in the right direction for help instead of having a public stoning.

And what pray tell is the right direction?
A 180 degree turn right back into the closet?
To a $250 an hour therapist they might not need?
Or just maybe some much needed honesty!


I agree with Karen CDFL.
And I happen not to.

There are so many here that feel that their way is the only way.
Isn't that the truth :rolleyes:

One thing is to recommend that someone come clean with their SO. It is a totally different thing to ridicule someone for not acting they way the poster feels that they should act.
So we should stand by and wait for the next time this happens with a new girl and go around in the same happy happy joy joy circle again, or fix it now while there is still a chance to do so?

Chill out and give them a break. Name calling is inappropriate.
Great idea - lets just let them waste more time and possibly screwup another relationship.
Or I don't know - maybe try and actually help so it doesn't happen again??
That sounds better to me. :D

[baby beluga]

gonna have to agree with kellycan27 on this one.