MTF and FTM please help...

[Zenith]

So I have an opportunity. There are a series of workshops for faculty, residents, and students at the Medical Center on being a GLBT ally. It turns out I will be presenting the majority of the "T" workshop at the end of the month. We can reach many health care professionals. I will be doing Q&A but don't want to give them only my perspective.

2 questions for you all:

1. What would you like people in the health care field to know about us?

2. What can they do to help support us?

I plan to use your responses...but I will only mention your first names...or not at all if you prefer...

Thanks in advance...

Julie.

P.S. I (of course) would like comments from anyone who would describe themselves as falling under the "T" umbrella term...

[GypsyKaren]

That's easy, same answer for both questions: Treat us like human beings.

GK

[Zenith]

That's easy, same answer for both questions: Treat us like human beings.

GK

Then it will be a short workshop...coz judging from the way people there have been treating me...they have this one mastered...:hugs:

[MAJESTYK]

sounds good Julie!
1. we are just like anyone else despite our appearance. We do not have a "disorder"
2. treat us as if we "belong", not as if we are "accepted". To accept us is the same as humouring us as if we are outside the "norm". This IS our norm.

I know it sounds cliche' but, this is the way I feel. Oh, and you may refer to me as Dael, it is my name.

[joanlynn28]

Julie can you have your coworkers spread their kindness towards you out to the rest of the world, that's where the help is needed. I don't want to be treated any better or different than anyone else. I just want to be accepted as just another person that's all

[Miranda09]

Stop labeling us with a disorder or syndrome label. We do not need, or want, to be cured, as Majestyk has said.

[Heatherx75]

I don't know if you should approach it as what specific things would we like health care providers to know about us. I would like anyone providing health care to know what a transgendered person is, in the first place, and to have experience dealing with us to be a requirement to their training. I know that many of us can tell stories of our bad experiences with doctors and nurses. I had some douchebag with an M.D. after his name say to me, "I don't know why you want to do it, personally, after all you are a very good-looking guy.":brolleyes: A friend of mine went in for a sprained ankle. When she had to tell them what meds she was taking, the nurse was like, "Oh! Have you had your surgery yet?" She's like, "Fix my friggin' foot."
So I think it would be a good idea for them to know the very basics at least, because most of them don't know anything about us.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

First, that we are people with feelings and don't treat us a freaks or curious objects that they are working on. Simply treat us as normal people and address us appropriately by name or gender..

Secondly, as doctors or medical professionals they can pressure Insurance companies to cover the services that Transsexual people may need. Examples would be hormone treatments, surgeries specifically, voice therapies etc. to transition etc. These are needed for our pyshological well being and sometimes our survival. If doctors would add their voices the insurance companies may come around and help pay for the needs of many of us..

Julie, you may use my name Kimberly Marie Kelly (legal as of 11/30/09) Kimbelry :battingeyelashes:

[docrobbysherry]

So I have an opportunity. There are a series of workshops for faculty, residents, and students at the Medical Center on being a GLBT ally. It turns out I will be presenting the majority of the "T" workshop at the end of the month. We can reach many health care professionals. I will be doing Q&A but don't want to give them only my perspective.

2 questions for you all:

1. What would you like people in the health care field to know about us?

2. What can they do to help support us?

I plan to use your responses...but I will only mention your first names...or not at all if you prefer...

Thanks in advance...

Julie.

P.S. I (of course) would like comments from anyone who would describe themselves as falling under the "T" umbrella term...

1. Maybe it would help some in health care, when faced with a TG individual, to think of them as they would a disfigured person. Then, they mite be less likely to judge by looks, but rather by who the individual is!
Because, like a disfigured individual, many of us CAN'T HELP how we look!
They mite be less likely to ask/think this question also: Why present as a homely woman, when we could present as a decent looking man?

2. Try not to prejudge TG individuals! Once they get to know TGs, they'll probably be OK with most of us!
Like most everyone else, we r INDIVIDUALS! Other than dressing similarly, we R ALL QUITE DIFFERENT!

Julie, these r things I learned for myself. Here, and at the SCC. As a CD, who doesn't relate to being TG.:)

Good luck! I KNOW you'll do just fine!:hugs:

[Teri Jean]

Zenith I don't have any answers but today I was invited to sit in on a workshop for transgender individuals on our campus. The Director of the LGBT office wanted to know if I wanted to participate in the discussion by telling my story. I'm not sure but then there is a wekk to give it some thought. Good luck and there is so much advice from the boys and girls here. Let us all know how it turns out.

Huggs Teri.

[Hope]

How about this one:

Ask questions:

I am happy to tell you (my health care team) about what being transexual means to me, and about what I need - but I don't want you to assume that what the last transgender person wanted is what I want.

Be honest:

If you have never dealt with transgenderd people before, it's cool (you certainly wouldn't be the first), but I have a right to know that. If you feel weird about the idea (you certainly wouldn't be the first), I can accept that, but lets talk about it rather than just treating me like a freak - even if it is inadvertently or sub-continuously. And if you can't come to terms with who I am, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE refer me to someone who can. I won't be offended if you don't understand me, but I will be irate if your lack of understanding causes you to provide inadequate care.

[Sammy777]

The fine line .........
Or you can't have one without the other.


Stop labeling us with a disorder or syndrome label.
We do not need, or want, to be cured, as Majestyk has said.


Secondly, as doctors or medical professionals they can pressure Insurance companies to cover the services that Transsexual people may need. Examples would be hormone treatments, surgeries specifically, voice therapies etc. to transition etc.

While I do not really agree with the "It's a disorder" it is something that could be put to our advantage.

Current line of thinking to me seems to be that the "cure" for our "disorder" is SRS.

If we [as far as they say] have a "disorder" and there is a "cure" for this "disorder" then the "cure" should be covered under insurance.

Just like any other cure for any other disorder or disease is covered.
Hell, even treatments for "incurable" diseases like cancer are covered by insurance companies.

Basically, if the phys/medical community what to keep this listed as a curable, or even an incurable [but treatable] disorder on the books, then it should be treated and dealt with as such and be covered.

If not, they should just drop the whole disorder part.

[Sheila]

for health care workers, remember that TG/TS have families and that they too are sometimes under stress, and need someone other than their partner/mom/dad/brother/sister to talk to, that our fears.worries, concerns are for those we love mainly, but we do have our own, this is not always an easy life to live if you are the supporting ones :sad:(I know it is not easy living it), basically we need breathing space, a sense of "normality" when things are tough :straightface: Someone to just listen to us, to talk about normal everyday things with inter spaced with TG issues, cos we can't do both with those around us normally :straightface: I guess to treat us the supporters as normal peeps as well :D

[Veronica_Jean]

Julie,

1. Just because we appear to have healthy bodies, does not make SRS, FFS, Breast Augmentation, or therapy an invasion of a healthy body. We tend to fall into a category of not wanting to be viewed as having a disorder, or mental illness, or other negative medical term, but we do need help to live productive lives as the gender we feel we belong, despite all other "scientific indicators".

2. Continue to support us in pushing for proper medical care that is recognized as legitimate medical need, and pressing to have the treatment needed (therapy, medicine, and surgery) available to all that require it, not just those that can afford to pay for it.

You can use my name Veronica (or Ronald) Charlton as you wish.

Veronica

[Zenith]

Thanks to all who replied...wish there were more...:sigh:

[Deborah_UK]

I have found heathcare professionals just that - professional. I feel you may well be "preaching to the converted" almost.

But the biggest issue to me was probably the use of "Mr" when calling me through to my appointment - the nurse apologised almost immediately and said it wouldn't happen again (i've not been ill since so haven't tested that! :) )

But if they want a FAQ the link takes you to the attachment I sent with my letter to staff informing them of my transition. Gender Trust (http://www.gendertrust.org.uk/n2/docs/gt_is01.pdf)

[CharleneT]

... We can reach many health care professionals. I will be doing Q&A but don't want to give them only my perspective.

2 questions for you all:

1. What would you like people in the health care field to know about us?

2. What can they do to help support us?

I plan to use your responses...but I will only mention your first names...or not at all if you prefer...



I think that part of the reason I found this hard to answer is that I have had little contact with health professionals about my TS life. Also, my experiences have been very good. Each person I've interacted with about it - or while there as Charlene has been respectful, polite and kind. My doc doesn't agree with the plan or idea, but said so only once, the first time we talked. He then told me that part of his oath was to help make his patients healthy and happy. Hence he could not see it was his role to judge me and his role is to help me.

So, I've no complaints for how I have been treated. Maybe it is because my care is at a pretty progressive teaching hospital. Some thoughts...

1. As many have said, tell 'em we are human. Add normal and kind and at times wonderful. The issue is not to see us as a diagnosis, look at the person. Of course that should always be true, but it is easier to slide into steriotyping with someone who is Trans because of (maybe) lack of knowledge about it or fear. They fear law suits and little else in doctor offices. Nature of the game. Furthur (60's spelling), we need help, we are ostracized by many, loathed by some. What we need from health care people is their support and help with what medical needs we have. They have to integrate our status into our person in the same way we have: do not see it as a problem and do realize it isn't "cureable". It is part of us for life. So make each decision about our care as if being TS was the same as being "black" or latino etc...

2. Treat us as normal, treat us as ok. Find ways to enhance our care wrst to TS status. In other words, do as I've stated above - then move on to whatever care we need from that standpoint. In terms of transition and its medical needs, find ways to understand that it is not an option for us and although dangerous, things like HRT have to be addressed. Please do not think of the life style change as a choice. Think of living as a choice, those that are in front of them are those who are brave enough, or desparate enough, to ask for help to transition to female life. Realize that many do not ask and are un-happy for their life over that. Many, many kill themselves, it is that important. It is that intrinsic. Our brains work differently, and even though it is hard, if not impossible, for them to "put themselves in our place", they have to aid us anyway. Most often in treating patients they think something like this "if I were that tired all the time" or "if I had that much pain..." etc... "I would want or do {fill in the blank }" When they cannot put our life in perspective it might encourage them to back off, refuse care or try and change us. All the wrong thing to do. I don't know how to instruct them to go ahead and treat without understanding it. But that is what they need to do.

Charlene

[carolinoakland]

The one biggest obstacle with the medical opinion AND the general public is the perception that being a TS is a choice. And can't we come up with a term that doesn't have the word sexual in it to describe us? Carol

[Holly]

1. What would you like people in the health care field to know about us? The we are the same as their other patients. We live, we work, we raise families, go to youth soccer games, attend church, laugh, cry, get ill from time to time, and need assistance just as anyone else.

2. What can they do to help support us? Practice holistic medicine. Realize that the human race (of which we are a part) are composed of mind, body, and spirit. Treating only one aspect (the body) is only treating one third of the person. Treat us as the whole persons we are.

[Joanne f]

In one sense that is part of the problem ,that you have to do a question and answer on T folk , if like GypsyKaren has said if we were all treated like normal humans in the first place there would be no need for question and answer talk

[Zenith]

In one sense that is part of the problem ,that you have to do a question and answer on T folk , if like GypsyKaren has said if we were all treated like normal humans in the first place there would be no need for question and answer talk

T folk have unique needs regarding health care, hence the importance of informing those that provide it. Take for example the G and L part of GLBT. There isn't really anything wrong with them...just societal stigmas.

But T folk, especially those transitioning, have serious problems with being uncomfortable in their bodies and require serious medical procedures. That can't be ignored.

[morgan51]

Just treat us with nonjudgemental respect. Please use the correct pronouns.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Hi Julie..

I did exactly the same thing you are doing just last week!!! LOL
I was asked to do it 2 days in advance so I had no time..i spoke to a group of Physicians assistant students at Arcadia College in PA

As I sat in the back watching the doctor speak about "transsexualism" and abuot how "we have a transsexual woman" here....

a huge ton of bricks hit my head...HE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME>>>!!:eek:

My personal belief is that we can only really gain acceptance one person at a time..so i considered that here was a chance to talk to over 100 (one person's) at one time..

So I made it a bit personal..
I told them my life story and humanized the whole situation for them...i told them that i know 100+ TS women and men, and we all have families and the same feelings as everyone, that my mom and dad want me to be healthy and happy..etc..

...i told them that we are among the most marginalized groups of people in all of society...its a sad truth that we are looked down on and misunderstood by many many people...we are a small group (but growing) and we are easy targets for hate and intolerance

i actually said challenged them and said "Looking at me, hearing me, do you think it's right that many people think I'm a freak and don't want to even know about me?"
dead silence..heh

I told them horror stories that were relayed to me from TS friends...including one EMT that had a partner fired because the partner (a woman!) refused to touch a TS woman, and said "i'm not touching that thing", as her patient bled..this was only 3 years ago!! ps the patient did fine after getting care

...the details are yours...but you have a whole life story and if those folks hear it , and experience your humanity..hopefully they will be moved to listen

as far as Q/A and what the teacher/doctor said..

the key point they addressed is the medical nature of the group...we need health care...it's not as simple as treat us like human beings...doctors need to know how to treat us medically...they need to know that our genetic's our plumbing and other things about us are simply not the same as genetic women.

the concept of giving me the best medical care HAS to include that I'm transsexual...I have breasts, will soon have a vagina AND also have a prostate is the simplest example....there are enormous secondary issues as well...depression, STD's (unfortunately there are WAY to many TS sex workers) all enter into it.. and to make it even more difficult..some of us are stealth and would do anything to protect our identities

The hardest question i was asked was this "Ok -- so you come into my office with a problem...you don't say anything about gender..but you are telling us that being TS is big part of your meidical history-- how do i know? how do i ask you is you are ts?"

my answer was that I would personally tell them, but many won't...i struggled with that answer but the doctor saved me and said that the role of the medical professional is best treatment...so if you think the person is transgendered you need to ask in an appropriate and respectful way...ie "i have to ask this because it's my job", or "i'm sorry that i have to ask this, but i want to make sure we are doing our best for you"...the class thought this was tough and i said there isnt alot about ts that is easy...heh

OVerall, this group of people was wonderful..i had some potluck lunch with them and went home feeling like I did something good

Julie--- You are gonna love that feeling!!
Hope that helps
kate

[Zenith]

It went really well...I was given the entire period to speak...oh and they told me right before where to stand for the cameras...O_o...it was being recorded to be placed in the medical school library...

Went really well...people were very compassionate...I did get some really tough questions...I tried not to preach or be political...got lots of great emails after...and several people appeared to be moved to action...I was asked for example "...how can we as an institution improve in this area..." Also someone in the audience with pull mentioned a visit to the state capital and they were going to mention some of the laws in our state that are a bit behind...

Overall a really great experience...

Here is a few pics for the main board...me scoping out the conference venue...the conference center...and the location (nursing school top floor to the right of the photo)...

Thanks to all who replied...I read many of your responses...:hugs:

[Empress Lainie]

Brings up a question on the healthcare aspect.

One of my doctors knows I am trans because I transitioned while going to him after 8 years male. He still writes he and him on the med records and when I called him on it the first time he said he had to since I was born male. When I told him I wanted a prescription for estrogen to help grow my breasts he was willing and gave me estrace vaginal cream but had no clue how to prescribe it, so I had the pharmacist call him to get the RX right. The pharmacist when she filled it gave me instructions on putting it in my vagina! (Is that passing or what?) I use it as a patch rubbing it on my skin on my abdomen and breasts.

I really don't know if the other doctor I started with recently just for regular prescriptions mainly for my diabetes knows or not. I told the receptionist but put female on my forms. He never said anything about it. And when they did an EKG it was female nurses and they saw my breasts.

I have been told there is nothing male about me. So I wonder.

At work I applied as female with my female ID even though I had previously applied six months earlier for another job and asked the person there if being trans would make any difference and he said it would not. But my current application that I was hired from said only female and my old last name as my maiden name. So I really don't think they know I am trans.

Stealth, I am in deep stealth and as was said here would do anything I can to protect my female identity. I got really pissed when some woman confronted me and called security in the ladies room simply because since she saw me with my obviously male looking SO in female clothes she assumed I was a crossdresser. When I showed my female ID to the security when they came to our table (and even asked for her ID too, which they had no right or business to since she wasn't in the restroom, she always uses unisex to avoid problems.) but they still said I couldn't use the ladies room, and then had the gall to ask if I had surgery. I told them that was not an appropriate question and they actually said: You are right, it is not.