Questions about effects on sex drive from HRT

[Shayna2008]

Hi everyone, I have gone back and forth about HRT for a long time. I have researched the effects and the hazards (like increased risk of cancers, clots, etc). I also know that it reduces sex drive. I have been considering if I'd be willing to live with a diminished sex drive. At first I was nervous but now I am thinking I can live with it.

My question to the gals here is, what is it like dealing with a diminished sex drive? Does it go away completely or does arrousal just happen rarely?

I'm sure results differ by the person but I'd just like a better picture of the sex-drive situation. Sex is important to me, but I'd be satisfied if I only did it occasionally.
If sex drive can be be destroyed however this would be an issue for me definitely. (haven't heard of that though)

I'm 23 years old currently. I consider myself pretty healthy, as I don't smoke at all and drink only occasionally. I'm 6ft tall and weigh on average 195lbs. I am active, as I often hike and go caving. My moods tend to swing frequently as my male self, and the idea of some balance seems very inviting.

I'm trying not to rush into anything but this is definitely important to me. I just wanna be sure I have my "eyes wide open" when dealing with this.

Thank you all for your time. I understand this is a personal thing and I apologize if I offend anybody. Private messages are welcomed if anyone prefers.

Thanks again, Shayna

[Eriee]

If you like the funtion of your peepee, DON'T DOWN THOSE PILLS. I've been on HRT for 5 years now, and my happy pole doesn't get happy at all, it's been like two years. It just lays there to the side like road kill, limp and disappointing. Even in the sexiest times of sexual intimacy, it remains flaccid like a deflated balloon.

I don't miss it at all though, there's more to life then pleasing your peepee. =)

[Jenny Chen]

Shayna like you i am also 23 and i just recently started HRT (about 1 month and 1 week ago).

one thing for sure is the little guy don't get excited easily anymore, thank goodness, but if and when I really try it will still work. At lest for now anyways.

Hope this help ^^

[Shikyo]

HRT will have different effects on different people. Generally told, if you do want to use your penis for anything besides peeing stay away from HRT. Depending of the person you might still be able to have fully functional penis for longer periods of time but the longer you are on HRT the higher is the probably of it only being able to be used for peeing.

As for sex drive it also depends of the person. With some of us it clearly decreases and for other it clearly rises. My sex drive has definitely gotten a lot stronger since I started HRT. To please myself there are many ways which none of them involve the usage of penis, so not having a functional penis isn't going to become a problem. At least it never was for me. I totally prefer it this way.

Starting HRT will always be a change to your life. With decreased sex drive you won't have the urge to have sex more often thus it will not be a problem. With increased one you will want to do it more often. Your needs at this moment aren't going to stay the same at all. HRT will change your needs, your urges and about everything else you can think of. Your life will not be the way it was before HRT in anyway. So instead of asking if you can live with "side effects" of HRT you should ask if you really want to live as a girl for the rest of your life instead. If the answer is yes there shouldn't be much to think about anymore.

[Frances]

To me sex drive and sexual function are two different things. My sex drive, or desire to have sex, has diminished greatly, but things still work mechanically. I can get aroused and orgasm, but barely anything comes out (due to HRT). My sex drive being in the toilet, however, I don't feel like having sex anyway, so it does not really matter.

Erections and a male erotic drive were troublesome for me, so the effects of HRT were very welcomed. Being in my forties and having already had sexually active relationships gives me a different perspective. Libido is the energy of life, and loss of libido at a young age may seem scary; not as much at 43.

[Karen564]

Maybe some Viagra will help you out???
Don't really know, all I know is T gives you your drive, same goes for women, they sometimes give them T to increase their sexual libido too if it's a problem..

[CharleneT]

I haven't been on HRT long enough to be much help ( 110 days ),but my experience matches the advice I was given: if you want it to work, you gotta work it. ie, use it or lose it. This advice comes from several of the top SRS surgeon's. They prefer that you keep things ... ah ... working, so that after SRS (should you want that) you can become orgasmic. Not everyone wants that, YMMV.

[Stephenie S]

Sweetie, I think there is a simple answer to your question. If you are transitioning, you should probably be on hormone therapy. If you don't plan on transitioning, stay the heck away. The dangers are REAL and possibly lethal.

Those of us who actually do transition take hormones because we HAVE to, not because we want to. (hmm, there she goes again, making another one of her huge generalizations) Hormone therapy carries serious risks. If you are planning on transition, you will take hormones under the care of an endocrinologist. This will minimise the risks, but the risks will remain.

What will it do to your libido? I dunno, and neither does anyone else. The only sure way to know the answer to this question is to be on HRT. It's different for everyone. You got several different opinions already. Personally, I am just as glad to be rid of that testosterone frantic-ness. I am far more peaceful now. Do I still have a libido? Yup. But that incredible frantic drive is gone. I love it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[kellycan27]

I no longer get erections,but my sex drive is as good if not better than it ever was. I really enjoy sex. Pleasing my partner is very satisfying as sex has become much more emotional than physical. :daydreaming:
Kel

[Byanca]

PS; this is a OT interruption. But I just saw this, and wanted to see if anyone knew something about this.


but barely anything comes out (due to HRT).


I've always wondered about this. What is barely, or lots and so on?

I've almost never gotten it to sprout. I think there is supposed to be some velocity on this. But just a quarter to a half tea spoon comes slowly to the top, easily wiped off.

A few times, it 'has left the building'. That's usually if I have been feeling good all day, dressed pretty and been girly. Good feeling through the whole day, so it has built up. But just one swoosh. Not like i've seen on porn movies. Looks like sci-fi. I assume it's movie tricks. Actually i'm kinda grossed out by that.

I'm kind of worried about this as well. If it means I'm sexually excited about being treated nice, and like a girl. I dont think thats good. I've never noticed anything, since I dont get 'hard on'. Without me alone and let my mind wander. But i've noticed that it functions more like what I assume is normal after this-ergo, sexual excitement- in the unconsciousness.

[Frances]

PS; this is a OT interruption. But I just saw this, and wanted to see if anyone knew something about this.




I've always wondered about this. What is barely, or lots and so on?

The answer is barely in relation to what there was before, whatever that is for any individual. In my case, I would say not even a tenth of what was coming out before. I have been on hormones for 11 months. It may mean that I am now sterile and that the sperm factory has shut down for good.

[sempervirens]

In my experience (~1 year), you can still get aroused, but it happens when you make it happen. So, having a nice night with a lovely partner, no issues. Then again, rather quickly I noticed that I didn't wake up in the morning aroused. As far as sex drive, you're generally shooting for lower t levels, but that can mean levels in the natal female range rather than non-existent. IME, your libido is lower, but still present.

Hormones won't necessarily regulate your moods. They might help, or they might not. Folks on cyproterone can have some pretty nasty depression, for example.

Also, some of these changes IME are reversible, and some are not.

Further, IME it also decreases your size. If you're attached to that, it's something to think about. FWIW, that's also one of the changes that's only partially reversible.

@twisted--
The amount of ejaculate decreases dramatically. It'll go to a slight dribble, then a few drops of clear fluid, then to literally nothing. Orgasm still occurs, however.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The sex drive is reduced in the sense that you are not burdened with the constant effect of testosterone....to be really gross, if your sexual arousal is based around thrusting and pumping, then HRT is likely going to be an issue for you.

but as Kelly pointed out, there is a huge benefit in that the HRT made me feel whole, and the sexual response from that started to feel whole as well...

prior to HRT, orgasm was a very short term release of my anxiety, followed immediately by shame and an almost immediate need to do it again...

whereas it's now a wonderful and rewarding feeling that lasts a long time, even when its just self pleasure, but even more with a partner

The best way I can describe it is that for the first time in my life, I actually feel like I'm there during sex, and not just living in my head trying to acheive an orgasm

I hope that post SRS I can experience that feeling even more

[Shayna2008]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I still have to have some Real Life Expeirences as Shayna. Curently doing this is very difficult to do. So I have a ways to go with learning about myself. In other words I have no business being on HRT right now.

I have no intention on self-medicating. I'm not sure if I will need to get HRT in the end. I have been researching HRT as much as I can. I'm seeing a psychotherapist as well. I'm confident that I'm taking a wise course to deal with things.

The social issues are what is really bugging me. Social issues being family, friends, SO, career and the like. I wish I could have a feminized body, but still be able to dress as a guy when I needed to, like for going to work (assuming things like small breast growth from HRT). I'm sure the feminizing effects make living like this impossible, I'm aware you usually can't have things both ways in life. Nice to think about though. Hoping I don't sound to naive. :o

If anyone's interested, I would really like to chat sometimes, and really learn about real life on HRT.

Thanks again for the responses, everyone. Have a nice night.
-Shayna

[sempervirens]

I still have to have some Real Life Expeirences as Shayna.
...
I wish I could have a feminized body, but still be able to dress as a guy when I needed to, like for going to work (assuming things like small breast growth from HRT). I'm sure the feminizing effects make living like this impossible, I'm aware you usually can't have things both ways in life.
Per the SoC I think you need a counselor's okay after a minimum of three months of therapy to get on hormones. Unless your counselor has thrown out some caveat, you shouldn't have to have an RLE before getting on hormones. Maybe you and your counselor have decided this is best for you?

IME being on hormones for a bit did make it slightly easier to pass. Part of it, too, is psychological. It depends on your genetics and so on, as far as living as a man while on HRT and not having others know. Again, just IME, but it wasn't an issue for the year or so I was on hormones.

Have a good day :-)

[MJ]

Evan captain scott Can't fix my sex drive. but once it's dead you can make some good girl friends


I wish I could have a feminized body, but still be able to dress as a guy when I needed to, like for going to work (assuming things like small breast growth from HRT). I'm sure the feminizing effects make living like this impossible, I'm aware you usually can't have things both ways in life. Nice to think about though. Hoping I don't sound to naive.

why ?... you get your two years RLE done and over with

[Karen564]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I still have to have some Real Life Expeirences as Shayna. Curently doing this is very difficult to do. So I have a ways to go with learning about myself. In other words I have no business being on HRT right now.

I have no intention on self-medicating. I'm not sure if I will need to get HRT in the end. I have been researching HRT as much as I can. I'm seeing a psychotherapist as well. I'm confident that I'm taking a wise course to deal with things.

The social issues are what is really bugging me. Social issues being family, friends, SO, career and the like. I wish I could have a feminized body, but still be able to dress as a guy when I needed to, like for going to work (assuming things like small breast growth from HRT). I'm sure the feminizing effects make living like this impossible, I'm aware you usually can't have things both ways in life. Nice to think about though. Hoping I don't sound to naive. :o

If anyone's interested, I would really like to chat sometimes, and really learn about real life on HRT.

Thanks again for the responses, everyone. Have a nice night.
-Shayna

At least it seems that you have your head screwed on right & understand there are consequences on going on HRT, it's certainly not a decision anyone should take lightly, because at some point, it will change your life & others around you in a very big way, although not necessarily in a bad way, but it is possible that can happen too.. And there will be a period of time for many where it gets rough for a while at some point as your transitioning,.lot's of very high highs & very low lows to the extreme..

On the 1st 1 or 2 years on HRT, you can get away with hiding the changes on your body & stay working in guy mode if you chose to, but after 3-4 years you would find it very difficult, not to mention that you will be driven to go further & that when you can kiss your days living as a guy goodbye..

So what I'm saying is, if that time comes that you do want to ever start HRT, prepare yourself for a new way of life for the rest of your life because it's inedible it will change whether you want it to or not..

Your doing the right thing by seeing a professional & exploring all your choices 1st before making any rash decision..
And I wish you the best of luck on whatever you choose to do..

:hugs:

[kellycan27]

At least it seems that you have your head screwed on right & understand there are consequences on going on HRT, it's certainly not a decision anyone should take lightly, because at some point, it will change your life & others around you in a very big way, although not necessarily in a bad way, but it is possible that can happen too.. And there will be a period of time for many where it gets rough for a while at some point as your transitioning,.lot's of very high highs & very low lows to the extreme..

On the 1st 1 or 2 years on HRT, you can get away with hiding the changes on your body & stay working in guy mode if you chose to, but after 3-4 years you would find it very difficult, not to mention that you will be driven to go further & that when you can kiss your days living as a guy goodbye..

So what I'm saying is, if that time comes that you do want to ever start HRT, prepare yourself for a new way of life for the rest of your life because it's inedible it will change whether you want it to or not..

Your doing the right thing by seeing a professional & exploring all your choices 1st before making any rash decision..
And I wish you the best of luck on whatever you choose to do..

:hugs:

I agree with what Karen has said and may I add..... That the social ramifications may seem huge, but it's just something that you have to suck up if this is something that you truly feel that you have to do. For me personally it was "do or die", I was living a lie, and I was miserable.The reaction of family,friends, and employers is basically a crap shoot. Some are going to accept you, and some may not. Flipping back and forth may ( as Karen said) work for a while, but sooner or later the cat will be out of the bag. If you have the need, and if you can make that leap of faith, I am sure that others who have done it will agree when I say.... If I had it to do all over again, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Despite the trials and tribulations, my life is beautiful, and the inner peace that I have found is well worth every single glitch that I experienced along the way. Just my:2c:
Good luck

Kelly

[Stephenie S]

Kelly wrote:

the social ramifications may seem huge, but it's just something that you have to suck up if this is something that you truly feel that you have to do. For me personally it was "do or die", I was living a lie, and I was miserable.The reaction of family,friends, and employers is basically a crap shoot. Some are going to accept you, and some may not. Flipping back and forth may ( as Karen said) work for a while, but sooner or later the cat will be out of the bag. If you have the need, and if you can make that leap of faith, I am sure that others who have done it will agree when I say.... If I had it to do all over again, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Despite the trials and tribulations, my life is beautiful, and the inner peace that I have found is well worth every single glitch that I experienced along the way.

This is about the best advice you will get.

Stephie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

:go:

what they said......

shayna
Try to imagine this all without the social and other implications..what would you do? It's your life, nobody is going to live it for you and beleive me they are not thinking about you when you are lying in bed crying over what could have been

..and btw for what its worth, you mentioned you wished you could partially feminize yourself...i know a person that is doing precisely that..
she's had 2 facial feminization surgeries, HRT for 4 years, and B+ breasts, but lives as a man ...

she says men get more respect (i think this comes from her family and upbringing) and that she can't get a job as a woman (shes in a male dominated field)..these things may or may not be true, but i can tell you that she is miserable and bitter all the time...she has physically transformed but that's it..its almost like she is taking on all the pain but not getting the benefits...the physical part of feminization is a huge deal, but its a means to the end of becoming yourself

that's just one story but you should know that there are all kinds of paths and nothing is impossible.

[Melissa A.]

Erections and a male erotic drive were troublesome for me, so the effects of HRT were very welcomed. Being in my forties and having already had sexually active relationships gives me a different perspective. Libido is the energy of life, and loss of libido at a young age may seem scary; not as much at 43.

Bingo. I have relieved myself once in the last year, and that was pretty recently, whereas pre-hormones, my need to do so was at least once a day, more often than not, several times. The feeling of male horniness became more and more unbearable as time went on, and is very difficult to explain to cissexual people. The difference in my overall demeanor (more relaxed, less hyperactive, no more knots in my tummy) and level of anxiety is so stark, I can barely describe it. That last time I touched myself, I did orgasm, but absolutely nothing came out. I do get feelings of want and desire, but they are somehow different now, and are less concentrated in the crotch. Best thing I ever did. But you have to know who you are, I guess, to know it's right for you. From what I've seen and heard, it's a little different for each individual. But if you take the HRT step, be prepared for immense changes.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Empress Lainie]

I have only used phytoestrogen for 18 yrs, and increased the dosages two years ago. In the last two years as a statistic, my annual orgasms have gone from around 208 which prevailed for 20 years before when I started checking it to only 59 in 2007, 84 in 2008, and maybe 95 in 2009.

I haven't had an erection that counted in 3 years. The ejaculate is about 1/2 tspn now. Much less than formerly, but remember everything in porn is faked anyway, (gallons?!!!!)

I think I could manage intercourse but have no partner anyway.

As for the libido, I don't miss it. I don't even care. I started living 24/7 on July 2, 2007. I am living and working as female
even though I may not ever be able to have SRS, or even any electrolysis. No one ever questions my gender.