My fiance thinks I should not...

[johnboy23]

When I go out dressed I try to be not too obvious and catch too much attention. Its normally female tight boot leg jeans and a babydoll t-shirt or some blue jean capris. If I go out to a bar thats when I dress up in heels and a dress. Always in boy mode though I just like the clothes as some might already know. ANYWAY, I was going to go out wearing my tight blue jeans and a flannel shirt that showed a little bit of my skin. Well my fiance thought that it looked weird and would not really explain why so I was hoping I could get your opinions. Thanks everyone!

[sissystephanie]

Maybe she was thinking a flannel shirt is to keep you warm! If that is the case, why would you want to expose skin? Other than your arms that is!

[johnboy23]

The shirt is a womens shirt or juniors shirt. Its suppose to be cute. There are even some jackies/hoodies that will expose skin.

[Andy66]

It's kind of hard to tell, but it looks like the shirt might be a little tight on you.

When you say "fiance," do you mean a male or female? What I'm getting at is, do you like men or women? Because if you mean a female fiancee, she might have an issue with you possibly being perceived as gay in public. (Disclaimer: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being gay, but some people are a bit... uncomfortable.)

[johnboy23]

Yeah she is female and that would make some sense. But it is a comfortable shirt. the buttons dont bow in between each other.

[KayC]

The clothing looks female, the rest of you does not...maybe that's what she meant by weird...usually one goes all the way male or all the way female, not half and half in public. It doesn't just call attention to you, but to her for being with you.

[johnboy23]

But that is how I dress but that shirt just showed a little skin which is why she said that.

[sherri]

Every time I go to a gay club I see guys your age wearing fem styles like you're describing, even more fem than your outfit but not as gurly as a CD. Of course, they are gay so ...

This seems to be a growing trend, very cutting edge. Check out my post on my blog about ojo-boys in Japan.

[Andy66]

That outfit looks very stereotypically gay, especially the bare tummy. Reminds me of Freddy Mercury. Sorry, I'm not trying to pick on you, just answering your question bluntly.

[Hope]

It's a gender F#(&. That is why it looks weird, but that is the point.

[Sally2005]

I'm not sure I understand... I guess you dress fully enfem when you go out and your SO is fine with that, but when you mix it up she is not? If that is correct, then she just likes to blend in as two females or guy and girl. She is uncomfortable being seen with someone who looks gay or doesn't blend I guess.

[EveMarie]

I agree with Anne66 and Hope, just looks like a stereotypical gay guy, or as hope put it, a gender F*&^.

Hey, whatever toots your horn sweety…

[sherri52]

It looks as though you are dressing gay rather than as a cd. She probably doesn't want a gay bf. Try dressing and looking like a cd or go in drab. Tight jeans are ok, lose the shirt

[Jamie001]

Sally,

What does it mean when you say "looks gay"? I have two friends that are gay and wear Armani Suits. Is that what you mean? Or did you mean to say "looks fem" rather than "looks gay"? It is important to remember that the majority of gay men do not crossdress.



I'm not sure I understand... I guess you dress fully enfem when you go out and your SO is fine with that, but when you mix it up she is not? If that is correct, then she just likes to blend in as two females or guy and girl. She is uncomfortable being seen with someone who looks gay or doesn't blend I guess.

[Kitty Sue]

The jeans look okay to me, but the shirt as looks to small for you in my opinion.

[Chloe Renee]

If I was going out in drab I would trade off the shirt. Tight jeans people might not look twice at.
Has your finance said anything about when you go all out? She may have an issue that your drab look is still quite femme. Considering the tightness and femme cut of the flannel.

[Katrina]

I like both the shirt and the jeans. In guy mode, I probably wouldn't wear the shirt though - its a bit too girly. That said, I have gone out in an outfit much like that in guy mode. Had on purple nail polish, eyeliner, and chunky heel shoes too.

[Dressing Jill]

I like the hair cut but you need to shave.

Clothes look ok. I like tight fitting jeans.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

It does look "weird" only because people don't expect it, that's all. Typically men don't wear clothing as fitted and flirty as that, showing off a little skin. I'm not saying it's bad, but rather, that is why the look seems "off" to her, because she's not used to seeing the male form presented in such a way, except perhaps in gay bars. I don't like it being described as "looking gay" but the point is meant to be, gay men are usually a bit more adventurous with fashion and with showing off their body than straight guys are.

The thing is with women's shirts in male mode is that the male upper body is shaped very different than the female one usually, with broader shoulders, flatter chest, and less curvy waist. So a shirt designed to hug the curves of a female body usually doesn't look good on the male form, hence why crossdressers who are caught up on passing often wear so many shapewear type garments... and Spoiler alert! So do a lot of GG's, because clothes like this are really made to actually fit on a very small portion of the population.

I'd be interested in seeing it from the front personally to get a better look at it, but it does seem to be a little too small, or at least not flattering to your form. The jeans look fine, however.

[Karren H]

Why does "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK... I sleep all night and I work all day...... ". Keep poping into my head???

[kendra956]

I love the way those jeans look on you !

[johnboy23]

Thanks Kendra and Jiveturkey that was very helpful. I will try to get a front picture soon. Kerron sutten.... not so helpful. Why does steven tyler pop in my head when I see you

[CherylFlint]

My opinion is when you dress as a gurl, then do it right. Same goes for when you "dress" as a drab. Get rid of the skin tight jeans and too small shirt as drab attire. I agree with your SO, don't confuse the issue.

[shannonsilk]

I think it would help us if we could see an outfit she approved of. Then we could compare.

[Sam-antha]

Sorry, the jeans would be ok by themselves, but with the too small (young) shirt.... no. Nothing is quite working the way you want it. It comes across as a gay mix.

~Samm

[EveMarie]

Why does "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK... I sleep all night and I work all day...... ". Keep poping into my head???

:lol2::lol2::lol2:

touché Karren

[Marissa Mae]

Plaid is in! My gf just bought a similar shirt at Guess last weekend (hope she wears it tomorrow night :) ); it's very form fitting, curve hugging, looks good with tight jeans.

Now, don't take this the wrong way, but like CherylFlint said "when you dress as a gurl, then do it right", I have to agree. in your photo, you look like a guy in too tight clothes. If you were to complete the look with a shave, wig and makeup, you'd be very cute!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

My opinion is when you dress as a gurl, then do it right. Same goes for when you "dress" as a drab.

Wow, such intolerance from a site that promotes the exact opposite. What exactly is the "right" way to dress as a girl, so we can all do it based on your standards. Anything GGs might want to know too?

Oh right and since I wear skirts "as a drab," I guess I'm doing it "wrong" in your book?

[Katrina]

Wow, such intolerance from a site that promotes the exact opposite. What exactly is the "right" way to dress as a girl, so we can all do it based on your standards. Anything GGs might want to know too?

Oh right and since I wear skirts "as a drab," I guess I'm doing it "wrong" in your book?

I'm with ya! The more people that are out bending the barriers of gender norms, the better off we all are. Kudos to you for not feeling like you need to conform. If (almost) every CDer followed strict society standards and totally passed, just think how miserable those of us that don't pass as well would be.

[Ashley_in_Texas]

Wow, such intolerance from a site that promotes the exact opposite. What exactly is the "right" way to dress as a girl, so we can all do it based on your standards. Anything GGs might want to know too?

Oh right and since I wear skirts "as a drab," I guess I'm doing it "wrong" in your book?

Right on, JiveTurkeyOnRye!!!
My thoughts exactly. You dress how you want, I'll dress how I want, and then we can all get along.

[krisinpink]

The outfit is cute...make no mistake about that. It is very 'intersexed' which may be what prompted her description where she said simply "weird". If she's not good with you in this outfit for going out to where and what the two of you are doing tonight, select something that makes her more comfortable. She must be aware of your dressing, so don't burn her out on stuff like this.

$0.02

PS: Karen, the Lumberjack reference was pretty funny!

[johnboy23]

Thanks again everyone. Let me just say it again that I do not dress my face as a women. Neck down only is what I like. I know I should not go out wearing a prom dress with my face in public.. I will post some pics of what I do wear and what my fiance thinks is not as wierd.

[Rachel Morley]

It does look "weird" only because people don't expect it, that's all.


I'm with ya! The more people that are out bending the barriers of gender norms, the better off we all are. Kudos to you for not feeling like you need to conform. If (almost) every CDer followed strict society standards and totally passed, just think how miserable those of us that don't pass as well would be.

I agree with both these quotes whole heartedly! Wearing girly clothes in boy mode is purely a personal choice and you shouldn't feel pressured to conform if you don't want to. There is no call for the antagonism that seems to sometimes exist within our community between partial dressers and the “all or nothing” crowd.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with mixing masculine and feminine signals. I do it all the time in my girly-boy (androgynous?) mode. It may not be what most people are used to seeing, but if the clothes look nice on a woman, why can’t they look nice on a guy? Granted there are limits on what a guy can wear in public without creating a stir, but that has very little to do with what looks inherently good or bad. It is, rather, a reflection of Western society’s insistence on a rigidly bi-gendered world. :2c: