is crossdressing a curse or blessing?

[lisa-marie]

I started crossdressing when was about 11 and that for some reason seems to be about average
But why did I start? I really don't know
Was I born with a high female whatever ?
I know I was never interested in football/rugby etc but dated girls etc
Now 40 years on am still a x dresser but still do not know why:brolleyes:

[Lyndi]

Hi Lisa - I can only say that CDing is a blessing to me and it is certainly not a curse, possibly because my SO is approving of it. I don't try and work out why my body wants to put on female clothes, makeup and high heels - all I know is how good it makes me feel when I do !!!! Lyndi

[Kate Simmons]

That is a question that only you can answer my friend.:)

[sherri52]

For me it was both. A curse because I'm divorced twice with cd'ing a large part of the divorce. A blessing because it gives a new me and I can understand women alot better. I'm not saying I understand them (no one does) but more than my male self could have.

[Joanne f]

As Denise has said , it is only a question that you can answer, but(always that but):heehee: i am sure that it can be both at different times in your life .

[Jaclyn NM]

Since I love to crossdress so much, and it feels so wonderful, I can't consider it a curse. It has been such a fun part of my life, that I can't imagine not doing it. Life may be simpler without it, but not nearly as enjoyable.

[Alice B]

A first it was a curse because I had to learn to deal with it and accept myself. Now it is a blessing that I look forward to all the time.

[MissyW]

I enjoy it so much it has to be a blessing.

[Bonnie Lawrence]

As Sherr and Alice observed, at first it was a curse because of the shame and guilt. My first marriage of over 20 years ended partly because of my longterm secrecy and then the inappropriate manner in which I disclosed disclosed my TG nature. Many years later, I can truly say that my CDing is a blessing now: largely because of my very accepting second wife and because of the freedom and peace that comes from being my whole self. Follow your path as it unfolds and be gentle with yourself.

[docrobbysherry]

IT IS!:doh::D

[KylieQ]

I'll go with it being both for me. At first it felt like a curse...I really didn't understand it and thought something must be wrong with me. As I've gotten older it's become very much a blessing. Without it I don't think that I could deal with a lot of the stresses of my everyday life as well as I do.

[vjaducd]

I started crossdressing when was about 11 and that for some reason seems to be about average
But why did I start? I really don't know
Was I born with a high female whatever ?
I know I was never interested in football/rugby etc but dated girls etc
Now 40 years on am still a x dresser but still do not know why:brolleyes:

Yes It' god's gift that we can enjoy both gender pleasure in one birth.
While feminine urge/ x cromosons.hormones increases in place of y a guy feel feminity urge from within the mind,body & saul so amale thinks himself more as female rather then a male inside the body which encourages to crossdress from male to female,I can't controll while my feminity urge/hormons increses within my body.It rests after cding only. No doctor,pscytriatist can cure.
love,huggs,kisses
so enjoy cding in full swing rather then to think or shy.You are normal but with difference
vjaducd from India:hugs::love:

[sometimes_miss]

For me, a curse. I was never good at meeting women, and this just makes it much harder, as there are so few women who are into it.

[Frédérique]

is crossdressing a curse or blessing?

Oh, it’s a blessing, but only a crossdresser would know why – this is unexplainable magic, and the feelings you get defy description, so just enjoy your precious “gift.” I don’t think something as pleasurable as this can be called a “curse,” but others want you to feel that way about it. Let your heart guide you to the promised land of feminine sensibilities – I’ll be there to meet you…


love,huggs,kisses
so enjoy cding in full swing rather then to think or shy.You are normal but with difference

Vjadu has the right idea – it’s OK, it’s always been OK, and it’s always going to be OK to crossdress, so enjoy it “in full swing” (I like the sound of that!:)). Love, hugs and kisses are the gentle rewards we desire (and reap) in our feminine attire – gather as many as you can, and feel loved.

[Cheryl T]

Hi Lisa - I can only say that CDing is a blessing to me and it is certainly not a curse, possibly because my SO is approving of it. I don't try and work out why my body wants to put on female clothes, makeup and high heels - all I know is how good it makes me feel when I do !!!! Lyndi


I fully agree with Lyndi.
It's a blessing for me to be able to express the femininity in me. I too have a very supportive spouse :love: which has taken away the guilt and fear I had early on.

It's not so much about the clothes for me. They allow the world to see the me I need to bring out. For me the expression not repression is key.

Maybe it is something genetic...who knows. I used to dwell on it forever, now it doesn't matter. All I know is this is me and I must be who I am. :2c:

[Jenny Brown]

Yes It' god's gift that we can enjoy both gender pleasure in one birth.

I disagree. It's definitely NOT God's gift.

[Rachel Morley]

It used to be (about 15 years ago) neither a curse or a blessing. It was just something I did once in a while in the privacy of my own bedroom, dressing up, taking pictures etc, and in my own mind, I didn't consider it anything other than a bit of a weird and private hobby.

Then it became a curse because I started to do it more and more and I was going to "changaway places", having full makeovers etc, the whole works. I was spending way too much money on clothes and makeovers and I started getting guilt feelings about how this is getting out of control and not "normal behaviour" for a guy.

Just about the time I was all ready to go and get some professional help from a councilor because I wanted to quit and get "cured", I met my wife on a crossdressing forum and we became great friends. The CDing then became a integral part of our (then) platonic relationship. She persuaded me not to go to a councilor at all but to embrace this harmless side of my personality and learn to accept that it's ok for a guy to want to dress and feel pretty. She offered me advice and she, in effect, became my councilor instead.

Fast forward to today and we are happily married and are about to celebrate our 7 year wedding anniversary, Crossdressing, for both of us, is a blessing. It's what brought us together and is also something personal and intimate that we share. I appreciate my story is not a common one but for me (in the end) crossdressing was, and still is, definitely a blessing. :)

[AKAMichelle]

The answer to that question is a personal one. The answer can be found but takes a great deal of time. You see many on here saying that it is a blessing, but it doesn't make sense since none of them can explain exactly why. Most of the ones who are comfortable with crossdressing see it as a blessing. The ones who question mostly have unaccepting wives and / or are torn inside about crossdressing. The guilt, the unacceptance of society, the loss of a job, love one exerts a great deal of pressure on you to see crossdressing as a curse.

I started out the same way. A year ago I questioned whether or not is was a curse or blessing when I posted a similar thread. The answers were pretty short and to the point. Yes it is a blessing or no it is a curse. Very little in the way of explaining how you answer this question. So now that I have found a partial answer, I will share it with the group.

Last year as I started my quest for the answer, I was very depressed because of my business struggling for 3 years. I had let fear of failure and many others things dictate my actions. In January 2008 I finally told my wife hoping to find a friend only to find someone turn on me. By June we were separated. I found another crossdresser who was very understanding of my situation and took me under her wing. That started the journey which changed my life. I had the fear of losing everything I had and in so doing was losing everything I had. When you hold onto life too close, you fail to experience life. So I started dressing almost everyday for about a year. During that time period I went out in public for the first time. I almost had a heart attack during that first trip out in the real world. I survived that experience and continued to go out. Shopping, movies, dinner and anything else that I wanted to do. In fact during that year, I went grocery shopping every time as Michelle. I began to accept who I was. I became so accepting of myself that now I have no problem telling friends. I have found several accepting women who would go places with me as Michelle during that year. To date I have told 7 women and had 2 go places with me as Michelle. 4 more talk with me at great lengths about my crossdressing. Some were open to it while others were not. That leaves my wife who is still very unaccepting. That is why I tell people to tell your SO before you get married.

The other thing which was instrumental is my getting through this a TS who shared her life with me. I was able to ask her anything that I wanted and she gladly answered. That was the part of the journey as I met more and more crossdressers that I began to figure out where on the spectrum I fit. I wasn't quit a TS but I was more than just a crossdresser. I'm in that middle ground.

So after this part of my journey, I can say that crossdressing is a blessing for those in accepting relationships and / or capable of accepting themselves. I think the key to someone else accepting you is YOU! If you don't accept yourself, then why should anyone else accept you? I thankfully ended in the accepting of myself catagory. I think that is why I can tell people and find some to accept me, because I accept myself. The biggest benefit of the journey was that I got over my fears. See if you can go out in the world dressed as a woman, then what is there to fear? You have survived the scariest moment of all. As a result of my fears melting away, I was able to recover my business in the worst economy in decades. This month I may even have turned my business around to be the most profitable EVER!!!

In conclusion, I think the only way that crossdressing becomes a curse is when the fear and guilt controls your life to such a degree that you hide from loved ones and YOU! I hope that you will take some of my experience and insight to prevent the pain that comes from hiding yourself. Open yourself up to others. Yes you will be hurt, but in the end you will be happier when you can share all of yourself with someone else. Hopefully then you can experience the blessing of crossdressing. It is the secret which binds!

[sabrina mercedes]

I find this question to be rhetorical.
It is both.
I may start as a curse and eventually turn into a blessing or vica a versa.
Either way, the answer is in how you accept this part of you.
If it is as a curse, then pain, heartache, stress, lonliness, fear, etc. will cloud your life.
A blessing brings peace, contentment, relaxation...
I know this is a simple explanation and not ever person has the same circumstances.
However, I believe that live is meant to be lived and living it under the clouds of a curse is living death.
I suppose my generic answer is K.I.S.S.
Sabrina:)

[Danielle Gee]

Well here's my take, to me Cross-dressing is like a 65 Nova SS I once owned....Sometimes I thought it was the best thing I'd ever experienced.....And other times I hated it with a white-hot passion!!!!....But with both, I gotta say it was quite a ride!!!:2c:

[melissacd]

Being your authentic self can never be a curse, it is by any measure a blessing.

[lisa-marie]

Some very interesting responses for which I thank you Yes/no would have been easy but you all obviously thought about it and took time to respond in depth Thank you all xx:hugs:

[Terri Andrews]

It has been both ,but for the last twenty years it has been a blessing .
I guess it all depends on what we do with it and how it affects our life .

[Ugly Michele]

Both, as much as I like it it leaves me withdrawn into myself, wanting to dress openly. While the reality is because I'm so remember able because of my size hard to find cloths that I feel I can wear out, and being sexy at the same time. It has cost me over the years but can't or won't stop. I wish I could just let me come out to everyone around me without the fear of reprisal. :2c:

[girlalex]

think of it this way. if you wore born and raised the same way Mowgli was out at the jungle without any exposure to society as we know it. would you consider it a curse if you thought you were happier in females garments and long hair?
the answer would probably be no because there is no influence one way or anther from society that has a big problem accepting people's differences especially when it comes to gander. thus this is the reason you may think its a curse, because thats the way society attempted to brainwash us that being happier in your feminine state if you are a guy is wrong or unethical because you are what you are born, but society still doesn't understand thats what between your legs may not be the same as whats between your ears.:Angry3: and this is why we are so paranoid to be outed.

[Kate's at home]

I have found "dressing" to be like everything else in my life. To the degree it is understood, acknowledged, and accepted, it is a gift.

Freddie calls it "feminine sensibility" above. Yes. I might call it connecting to the feminine energy, which as many of us here have found, can be a very powerful and enlightening experience in so many ways.

The "blessing" is in the appreciation of the experience and all it offers.

Kate

[Krissie1962]

the desire to dress as a female ,while geneticly male ..is truly a curse.the curse of wellness and happyness with your-self.yes their are many downsides to showing your softer side."female' who said a curse has to be unpleasant?iside if you believe that you are violating yourself in any way ,then its time to make a choice "sneak out " time permitted.if its who you are ,you can hid it ,,,,but cant escape.:straightface:

[Carly D.]

I identify with you.. to be or not to be.. I can't tell you or anyone else why I like to dress this way.. it's the reason why I am still in the closet.. I'd love to tell everyone that I cross dress but then the questions of why do you do it and all would come forth and my answer would be I don't know.. or they might know more the reason why better than I do..

[meri]

My interest in crossdressing springs from a deep well, a hidden source somewhere within. As male children we are taught to repress any expression of anything remotely feminine. As kids, we rebel, but the expression police are ever vigilant and constantly reminded us how to behave. The sad thing is we internalized the lessons taught by these well-intentioned people to the extent we learn to police ourselves!

Heck, if we step out of line, we are still reminded even as adults!

I believe that this results in a build-up of some kind of energy, if you will, that wishes to express itself. Overtime, I believe the energy deepens and grows stronger. Eventually, a trigger occurs and the person finds expression in some form. For some, this means crossdressing.

Thus, I view crossdressing almost as a symptom of a deeper issue, the repressed feminine trying to manifest.

It can be very overwhelming which frequently manifests as the "pink fog" (been there, done that). It can be very compelling and very prominent in your mind. I have been so captivated by this issue that I have had trouble doing my job.

My intense interest in self-feminization led me to the brink. My logical mind rebelled every inch of the way, it was a very difficult process to endure! My logical mind finally threw in the towel, gave up and basically accepted that I actually, really, truly have a feminine side. Actually, a pretty strong feminine side.

Funny thing is that once I got to that point, the pressure was off, the fog lifted, the compulsion dramatically reduced. It's as if I found the relief value and released all that energy in one big burst. Think of Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein when he loudly exclaims "Yes, Yes!". It was that kind of moment.

I found a new balance and a new joy which I had never felt before. It's hard to explain the feeling, but I know if you have ever felt it or feel it, you will know what I am talking about.

That's why I view crossdressing as a blessing, it led me to this new understanding of myself, this new joy.

[Daenna Paz]

Oh, it's definitely a two-edged sword.....it's what you do with it that determines a positive or negative outcome.

[Jenniferpl]

I think it is both. Since it will not go away, I am learning to accept it.

[Samantha43]

I wouldn't say it's a blessing. It's not really a curse either.

It's never caused me any problems because I have chosen to stay in the closet for the most part (my wife and immediate family know....I can dress whenever I want). I have learned to deal with the emotional aspects of it. I have learned how to balance it in my life. At times it can be an inconvenience. It will take time away from more important things if I let it. It's something I have really enjoyed over the years. Every time I dress is a rewarding experience. It's relaxing and gives me a feeling of contentment.

All that being said, if I was able to choose, I would choose not to have it as part of my life.

[helena.gcd]

a few months ago i would have said that crossdressing is a curse, but now, thinking about what i've done since i found this site and dreaming about what is yet to come.............. i'm starting to feel it more like a blessing.
I think that I'm going to have a lot of fun doing this.

[lisa-marie]

i thank u "gurls" for taking time to respond I have read every reply and it has been very interesting If the wife accepts I would imagine that helps to see it as a blessing If u have to dress alone and secretly then i suppose the "curse " is you need to dress but would love to be accepted . Its strange when you analise it as its "only" clothes and the way society say men wear this and women that Although women wear trousers ,sweaters etc without any problem !:raisedeyebrow:

[geri-tg.]

Once I became comfortable with the fact I am a crossdressers I feel blessed.

[busker]

It isn't "only" clothes. If it was you wouldn't be using Lisa-Marie for a name. You would be Harvey Napoleon, guy in a dress. some people here are 24/7 and have a new persona, some are in the closet and just like to slip into something more feely, but in each case there is mental baggage that goes with those choices. Clothing says as much about who we are as who we'd like to be--it is a costume, chosen with care by even the shabbiest dresser. The guy slouching down the street in fatigues is not interested in nursing-I can tell you that much. And, I would bet that Madonna for all her show is probably a closet Catholic conservative--still.
Mandrake out of water

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa marie
When we get it figured out we will let you know.
Don't hold your breath wile waiting for an answer.

..............................................than ks......Orchid

[AmberLynn]

I feel it to be both a blessing and a curse and ill explain both in my case

will start with the curse. From a very young age i spent most my time with my grandparent's as my father left and my mom had no choice but to work 10-14 hour's a day manegeing 2 bar's and restarunt's. I loved my grandparent's and i lived for them, ever hear thy will be done. when gender started appearing on the new's slightly late 80's they would comment on how wrong it was witch made me feel bad about my self and i knew i could never tell them as it would cause them pain. Till this day i struggle with the thought of what would they say. would they want me to be happy with my self or conform to what socity want's?

The blessing
From a very young age I felt diffrent then other boy's,and as i grow and learn more about myself I think maybe i can use this curse to help the up coming generations jump the gender hurdel's that for me and many before me were gender wall's. Im not saying that im the spokes person or something. Yes i love my self both in male and female form,and have a greater understanding of thing's i think. Haveing a softer gentaler side is wonderful and that's the blessing for me

[SusanMarie]

Yes...
I choose to enjoy the blessing part and ignore the curse part.
:)

[Krista1985]

Can't it be both? :heehee:

[Maureen]

A horrible terible curse. Iwish there were a cure.

[meri]

Maureen,
There is a cure, self-acceptance. Once you reach that, the compulsion is gone, cross-dressing becomes a secondary issue.

[silentone]

... but it's a curse for me. For what is pleasurable at the time makes me feel ashamed and dirty afterwards. Because of it I'm not even sure I know myself properly, and I want it to go away so I have the happiest and most "normal" relationship with my girlfriend possible. You don't wait your whole life to meet someone this perfect only to have cd'ing looming over your head. I wish I'd never ever gone anywhere near it - while I don't believe that anyone is to blame in particular, in my case I blame myself for not being strong enough to resist the urges all those years ago. :Angry3:

[Monica93304]

i can describe it this way....it saved my life.

[Jodi M]

Silentone, Don't blame yourself. Cding is the exspression of the feminine part of you. You were born with it and its not something bad that has to be fought or overcome. What you are feeling is societies pressure to conform to it's idea that you are either man or woman, there is no one who has a little of both. Unfortunatly 99% of people conform to what society says they should be instead of being themselves and anyone who doesn't is chastized or condemmed for daring to be different. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are what GOD created and GOD does not make mistakes!

[borbiusle]

I'd lean more towards it being a curse, since it's mostly a sexual fetish for me. Outside of crossdressing, nothing in my life leans toward being feminine, except watching the occasional spanish soap opera :heehee.: I can't see myself marching in parades or going public and trying to defend cross-dressing. It simply doesn't fit in as a core part of my life right now for me to be passionate about it.

[baby beluga]

the rapper jay-z wrote an album about his crossdressing, entitled "the blueprint 2: the gift and the curse"

me personally, i certainly wouldn't consider it a blessing at all. i personally haven't gained really anything at all from being a crossdresser...other than some nice undies from time to time..

[lisa-marie]

some very interesting and unexpected answers!It certainly hasn't done me any favours . Wife totally against it so bad start . I have purged like many but it comes back . Maybe there is no answer as in what came firs:brolleyet the chicken or the egg!":brolleyes:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I guess it can be both depending upon how you accept it and handle it....sure there can be a debate as to if it is or isn't....I suppose...but I'll sit this one out...enjoy...

[helena.gcd]

i have already answered this question, but i've found a better way to say it :heehee: :

at first you feel cursed and you don't understand why this happens to you :sad:

102170

but then, after a lot of thinking you stop fighting against it and you decide to accept yourself as you are :daydreaming:

102171

[Krista1985]

Brilliant Helena :)

[CamilleLeon]

Crossdressing is neither a blessing nor a curse, simply a part of who you are. To deny it is to deny any other way in which you enjoy living. The only curse is the lack of understanding in society

[sheidelmeidel]

I think it is a blessing in disguise. :GD:

[crusadergirl]

I say both a blessing and a curse all in one

[Joanne f]

i have already answered this question, but i've found a better way to say it :heehee: :

at first you feel cursed and you don't understand why this happens to you :sad:

102170

but then, after a lot of thinking you stop fighting against it and you decide to accept yourself as you are :daydreaming:

102171

I can understand why you have put it like that and as far as i can remember i thought of it in a similar way , but now think it had more to do with me thinking ,i felt cursed because i don`t understand why others would not accept what i do or wear , in others words it was others that made me feel cursed, and in my opinion it is it is this that plays on are minds that make us feel cursed .
Once you are over worrying what others will think you lose that feeling of being cursed.