Need or want?

[Tanya C]

I'm sure this question has been asked before but I would be interested in your responses for my own edification.
Is crossdressing something that is a necessity for you or is it something that you simply like to do? Personally, I have long accepted that I need to dress in order to express the female side of my psyche. I could'nt give it up if I wanted to.
Perhaps you are like me and absolutely need to dress, or maybe you're able to quit anytime you decide to. Which bests describes your drive to crossdress, need or want?

Submitted for your consideration,

Tanya C

[JaytoJillian]

kindred spirits, you and I--I couldn't give up the manner in which I express my femme side even if I wanted to. Once I stopped holding Jill back, I knew there was no going back to keeping her completely hidden.

[bound_cd_bianca]

I guess in my personal opinion it would depend partly on the "intensity" of each other crossdressing or priority in our lives . In my case I like to be able to dress up from time to time but it's important that my crossdressing doesn't take too much place in my couple and family life . I recently had a baby boy and my parental responsabilities come before any adult fun .

[martha mars]

i could not stop if i wanted to my sister would bring some thing in for me to try or to wear

[Wen4cd]

I guess you need to express yourself. You could say you 'want' to express, that you don't actually need to, (and some people go their whole lives without it,) but overall, it's better for your health and happiness to live as full a life as possible.

Do people exercise because they need to, or want to be healthier?

[DiannaRose]

I've tried to stop before...thirty-some-odd years of denying who I am lent itself to every attempt, but I now have come to accept myself and couldn't stop if I wanted to--and I don't want to. I enjoy it way too much. I love being able to express my feminine side, and wearing dresses or tights or whatever is a big part of that expression. Plus I love the way the clothes feel, and I love feeling feminine.

I also find that the longer I go in guy mode, the more unhappy I am. In a dress, I'm relaxed, comfortable, confident. So for me, it's a necessity, without doubt.

[Kate Simmons]

What I realized today is that it is something I like to do but don't necessarily have to. I realized that it's the character I create and the showmanship that goes along with it that makes me happy. I love to dance and perform and love my ability to be diverse in my appearance and actions.:)

[Karren H]

Since I'm driven to crolssdress..... I want to because I need t+

[simplykaelyn]

I do it because I want to first and foremost. But I feel I want to because a part of me feels I need to. I am comfortable exploring both sides.

[Alix]

It's one of the ways I run away from the stress in my life. I've given it up before, but I always start again. I guess something in me is drawn to do it

[Zoiq]

I can stop, and did stop because of an ex-partner who did not understand and did not want to understand.

The side effects of stopping..... Huge depression, including weight gain, withdrawal from society, snappiness and all those other crappy agro things, I stopped Smiling, even my mother made comments about how sad I was, that I wasnt myself anymore, (and she never knew about my TG side).

Eventually, this depression lead to the break up of my now ex-partner.

Now I do as I like, I feel free to express myself as I please, and I'm happy and smiling again.

( I even wear my ladies work shirt as a part of my everyday uniform. )

Be yourself, Be happy. Its not worth hiding away who you are for the sake of the odd look or giggle.

[Joanne f]

In the past it use to be a very big need to as if i did not i would get bad tempered, but now it is a want to most of the time with that need to every so often, i think that is mainly due to the fact that i now always wear female clothes but in an androgynous way , but (atb) i still need that dress or skirt feeling sometimes.

[Rianna Humble]

I've tried to stop before...thirty-some-odd years of denying who I am lent itself to every attempt, but I now have come to accept myself and couldn't stop if I wanted to--and I don't want to. I enjoy it way too much. I love being able to express my feminine side, and wearing dresses or tights or whatever is a big part of that expression. Plus I love the way the clothes feel, and I love feeling feminine.

I also find that the longer I go in guy mode, the more unhappy I am. In a dress, I'm relaxed, comfortable, confident. So for me, it's a necessity, without doubt.

Dianna has said almost all for me - I denied my feminine side for far too long although I did occasionally cross-dress in private if I got the chance to borrow a GG's stuff without her knowing.

Now that I have finally admitted who I am, I couldn't go back if I tried.

If I have to spend more than a day in drab, I start to feel unhappy.

IMHO I will never "pass" but I don't need that at the moment so long as I can dress.

I do now wear nail varnish on fingers and toes 24/7 although the "Coney Island Cotton Candy" on my fingers is much more understated than the "Gunfight at the OK Coral" on my toes. So far no-one has said anything about either.

[Raychel]

I don't think that I could quit anymore. Once I thought that I could, but now if I go a week without crossdressing I get real cranky. So I guess for me it is UN-Crossdressing.

[Josey]

Love CDing so I guess my response is "need to"!

[tinalynn]

I stopped for the first three years of my relationship with my wife. When she found out it hurt her bad. I didn't really miss it... As she became more comfortable, I started again on business trips. Now, I dress because I want to - I like the way the clothes feel and look. She had outed me to a lesbian friend of hers and that lady didn't blink an eye. That really made her more comfy. The end result being that I learned I like to dress but don't <I> need </I> to.

[Fruffykitty]

My opinion is men want and women need; I need to x-dress! like air or food or sleep or work or a roof over my head, it is a part of me that i have accepted.. and are considering it on a permanent basis for it feels 'right' to me. :D

So as a gender illusionist; need and want aside your heart will know what is right for the moment. :) thats what we do best!

[Ugly Michele]

I do because of an uncontrollable desire. Therefore I need too. Beside the clothes feel, and look good on me.

[Misty G]

I just dress how ever the mood strikes and when ever it strikes I dress according to the days activities.

[Miranda09]

It's probably a little of both for me as I just love to dress, but also, I have this inner urge to dress.....as if my female self insists on coming out, especially if I haven't dressed in a few days. I don't know if I could turn this off anytime I want, and right now it's not an issue, so I don't even think about whether this urge will ebb in the future. I just enjoy the now and all it has for me to experience. :)

[Jilmac]

I'm sure it's a need for me because I wouldn't voluntarily quit. In fact I hope to be wearing my favorite outfit when my casket is being covered with dirt.

[Phyliss]

Need or want, ... hmmm

The only thing I NEED to do is breathe, after that all things are optional.

Having said that, I also realize that eating is a good idea, I don't NEED to, but, after a few days, it'd seem like a good idea.

Same goes for my dressing, I don't NEED to but if I don't,.... well, ... I find I get really miserable after a few days.

I've kinda figured out that, while I don't NEED to, I really WANT to and that's good enough for me.

[bianncats]

want to because I am happier when I do it. I love the feel of the clothes, the idea that it brings me closer to women, not sure about how I look, but when I do have them on I feel better. I do think though that when I go out dressed, I am looking to be noticed, because I think I go around being unnoticed as an average looking white guy. But that is wanting to get noticed not necessarily NEEDING to get noticed.

Bottom line want not need.

B

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Neccessity/Obsession taking me over more and more. I't's long passed it being something I just want to do.:eek:

[Laura_Stephens]

For me, I am not sure that "need" or "want" is the right question. It is who I "am".

[weekend woman]

On a scale of 1-10 need is a solid 9 but want is somewhere around 12. Spent almost all day yesterday dressed and wanted to do the same today, but had guy stuff to do today, so off with the nail polish and into drab. What a bummer!!

[kelliboots]

The need drives the want .... I do feel more completely relaxed and at home with myself when I dress. It relieves stress in my life and who doesn't need a healthy life.

[Jaclyn NM]

I don't need to dress, but I sure do love it. I once went about ten years without dressing, but I thought about it often during that period. Two years ago, I decided to stop denying myself, and I've never been happier.

[Tess]

I don't need to dress but I often want too...that's the way it has been for over 50 years.

[Tanya C]

I really appreciate all of your honest and insightful responses. The needs and wants seem to be pretty evenly split. Like many of you I also have a great want to crossdress because it brings me indescribable joy and enhances my life in ways that non-crossdressers can't even fathom.
But I also know that crossdressing has some difficulties associated with it, and reconciling my crossdressing with other aspects of my life has been at times challenging. And that which has caused me to continue to dress year after year, decade after decade, in spite of the hardships has been need. I can't get rid of this, I can't quit. And by surrendering to this need and accepting my vulnerabilities my life has improved dramatically.

[Frédérique]

Is crossdressing something that is a necessity for you or is it something that you simply like to do? Personally, I have long accepted that I need to dress in order to express the female side of my psyche. I could'nt give it up if I wanted to.
Perhaps you are like me and absolutely need to dress, or maybe you're able to quit anytime you decide to. Which bests describes your drive to crossdress, need or want?

I like to crossdress, but it is also necessary that I do it – being able to quit is not something that I bother to contemplate, since this is a lifestyle based on positive feelings, not sexual issues or personal disappointments. I choose to be feminine, period – I’m not embracing my feminine “side” or anything like that, since I am who I am regardless of how one looks at it. I am a more feminine than masculine person, and I always have been, so it feels completely natural to wear the particular female presentation that I have chosen. Call it a uniform if you wish, but it just helps me to feel a certain way. To a certain extent, I am my own closet, and I hang with the clothes that make me truly happy. Since you are allowed to pursue happiness, why not take advantage of that fact and enjoy life to the fullest? :battingeyelashes:

[tamarav]

I am so impassioned with the feminine that I quit my former career, went to beauty school, go to work dressed daily, and dedicate my time toward what I feel is my true direction. Yeah!

I always have been an obsessed person, it just that now I know what that obsession really is.

[Samantha43]

It's a need for me. Something that I think about every day and don't think I could be happy without.

I guess the need brings the want with it, because it's also something I want to do......as often as possible. :battingeyelashes:

[maggiecdva]

I wouldn't give it up at all. I feel the need to crossdress in order to be complete.

There is nothing like expressing my female side in wonderful female clothes.

So much better than men clothes.

hugs - maggie

[Patricia Jane]

I do not know if I need to dress, but I want to dress. I feel better about myself, more relaxed, more complete if I am able to dress each day. I enjoy the art of dressing, the use of makeup and the enjoyable feeling I receive by doing so. Yes I think I need to dress! The feeling to dress is more natural now than it has ever been. Womens clothes feel good!:hugs:

[abigailf]

For me it is a need. I am driven to crossdress. It is a way for me to express the girl in me.