Communication

[EllenTiaJade]

Since I came out as a CD I've been more attentive when in female company and I've become a really good listener, which helps me be more confident when I'm dressed for some reason. However the downside is when I'm in the playground waiting with the other parents (mostly women) I WANT to talk to them more about shopping etc but I fear I may be looked upon as, well, gay (which I'm not).

Also most male parents ALWAYS head for a male to talk to or a female neighbour if no males are available to chat to, why is that? Maybe they need to see things from our side of the fence, as it were?

Any thoughts?

[trisha59]

Small talk is small talk. People will be grateful to talk about anything besides the weather.

[Kathi Lake]

Oh honey! Go over and talk to them!!!

Number one, after a bit of chatting, your comfort level will increase. You will find that you can have some amazing conversations with women, because they really talk!

ON the gay issue, when you say "other parents" I assume that you are one? That's little clue number one that you have at least touched a girl and given her a "special hug." :)

After chatting with you a bit, they'll know you're not gay, most likely - unless you bring up your undying love for Cher. Anyway, what does it matter if they think that? Are you looking to date any of them?

Kathi

[Karren H]

I will chat with anyone as long as they look like they want to chat.. Some people just send out those "don't you dare talk to me" vibes.. And people like to talk to others they have things in common with.. I sure do.. So as long as I wear a Steelers cap or a Penguins Jersey there is always someone willing to talk! How about them Penns? Lol.

[Joanne f]

I always found the school playground one of the click yest place`s on earth , little groups that wanted nothing to do with other little groups and certainly wanted nothing to do with me apart from one woman that made a point of coming up to me and saying " good on you for standing up for what you believe in ".

[Persephone]

I always found the school playground one of the click yest place`s on earth , little groups that wanted nothing to do with other little groups and certainly wanted nothing to do with me apart from one woman that made a point of coming up to me and saying " good on you for standing up for what you believe in ".

Joanne is spot on, there are very definite "clicks," particularly among the women who are there.

I spent about 6 years as a member of one of the most powerful female clicks at my child's school, so I probably speak from considerable experience.

I would suggest a couple of options.

First, kinda keep an eye on the various groups of women and see if you can figure out the politics. It is both far more subtle and far more brutal than in guy world, so you're going to have to have your feminine radar running at top capacity.

Then, figure out which group you'd like to try to become a member of. Become friendly with one of the women in that group when she is separate from the group.

Bond with her and then use her as a sponsor to get you into the group.

To really fit in, you have to find a way to become a guy who is considered "one of the girls." You have to carefully figure out the pecking order within the group and never, ever challenge the "alpha female." Watch the other women and you'll realize that they are most likely to defer to her choices.

You will have to listen a great deal more than you speak, and never do the guy thing of interrupting.

It is a great challenge, but it is also one of the most wonderful opportunities you can have to become a part of girl world.

Good luck!
Persephone.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I always found the school playground one of the click yest place`s on earth ,


Joanne is spot on, there are very definite "clicks," particularly among the women who are there.

I spent about 6 years as a member of one of the most powerful female clicks at my child's school, so I probably speak from considerable experience.

The word is clique, and it's properly pronouced: \ˈklēk Just like magnifique is pronounced "mag ni feek"

Yes, it annoys me when people don't use and pronouce it properly. The same goes for rouge, which is often misspelled "rogue"

Kathi Lake is on the right track, just go over and talk, doesn't have to be about shopping, just talk about anything.

Veronica Rogers

[sherri52]

They want your company just as much as you want thiers. talk to them

[EveMarie]

First, kinda keep an eye on the various groups of women and see if you can figure out the politics. It is both far more subtle and far more brutal than in guy world, so you're going to have to have your feminine radar running at top capacity.

Then, figure out which group you'd like to try to become a member of. Become friendly with one of the women in that group when she is separate from the group.

Bond with her and then use her as a sponsor to get you into the group.

To really fit in, you have to find a way to become a guy who is considered "one of the girls." You have to carefully figure out the pecking order within the group and never, ever challenge the "alpha female." Watch the other women and you'll realize that they are most likely to defer to her choices.

You will have to listen a great deal more than you speak, and never do the guy thing of interrupting.

It is a great challenge, but it is also one of the most wonderful opportunities you can have to become a part of girl world.

I know your are referring to "Human women" but that sounds damn near like dialog from a nature show on how to mingle with a pack of wolves, spot on. :heehee:

[Persephone]

I know your are referring to "Human women" but that sounds damn near like dialog from a nature show on how to mingle with a pack of wolves, spot on. :heehee:

I've got to say, EveMarie, that I never found much difference.

I don't think that most guys have a real feel for what goes on in "girl world." They tend to have some idealized image of sugar and spice and everything nice. Under the surface that guys see? Wolf pack.

Although it is a bit overdone, I totally recommend the movie Mean Girls.

[Hope]

Since I came out as a CD I've been more attentive when in female company and I've become a really good listener, which helps me be more confident when I'm dressed for some reason. However the downside is when I'm in the playground waiting with the other parents (mostly women) I WANT to talk to them more about shopping etc but I fear I may be looked upon as, well, gay (which I'm not).

Who cares if other parents think you are gay? And if their thinking that you are gay makes them unwilling to talk with you, you really don't want to talk with them anyway...


Also most male parents ALWAYS head for a male to talk to or a female neighbour if no males are available to chat to, why is that? Maybe they need to see things from our side of the fence, as it were?

Well - there are two distinct possibilities. First - there are still the issues with sexuality. Lots of people seem to think they can't have opposite gender friends without their being some weird sexual issues. I'm not sure why. Women, in my experience seem to be much more worried about this than men, but then, men have earned a reputation for being overly aggressive dick heads. It isn't fair to those of us who aren't - but it is how it is.

Second - perhaps the guys don't talk to the women because, you know, they are afraid that if they do, some one might think they are gay.

[Joanne f]

The word is clique, and it's properly pronouced: \ˈklēk Just like magnifique is pronounced "mag ni feek"

Yes, it annoys me when people don't use and pronouce it properly. The same goes for rouge, which is often misspelled "rogue"

Kathi Lake is on the right track, just go over and talk, doesn't have to be about shopping, just talk about anything.

Veronica Rogers

I do not want to get off track on this thread but it might pay you to look up the verb CLICK in the English Oxford dictionary the bit where it refers to become friendly and compatible :) Oh i think you left the n out of pronounce but i won`t mention that :D

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I do not want to get off track on this thread but it might pay you to look up the verb CLICK in the English Oxford dictionary the bit where it refers to become friendly and compatible :) Oh i think you left the n out of pronounce but i won`t mention that :D

Yes, I'm quite well aware of that meaning of "click" as in "I met John in the queue and we just clicked."

But you used "click" in your post to represent "an insular group, disdainful of others" but the word you wanted that means what you said is clique which is often mispronounced "click" So people hear that mispronounciation and think that "click" has that additional meaning, but it doesn't. And then they go and misspell clique as "click", which you did.

Veronica Rogers