whats going on with me?!

[girlalex]

have any of you ever "woke up" and suddenly realized whats going on in your life? that fact that Im in my early 20s and i still don't have a girlfriend, the fact that im a virgin and the fact that i don't really look at girls all that much because i think i don't have any chance with them because my personality is not masculine enough to support a relationship a GG wants. im in that phase already for about 20 minutes and im thinking to myself; im such an attractive guy and girls look at me but i never approach them, instead i go back to my closet and try to become as femme as i can without knowing when to stop. im not depressed or mad im just confused about this. its wired because it has been about several months that i appropriated my female side more than ever and now all of a sudden i feel like all it takes is to think outside the box and realize that im a male and i should be dating a beautiful girl that loves me. why do i think i like guys, thats not right i should be looking at woman. i just want to cry...

anyone, ideas?

[MJ]

So you posted in the Transsexual section ?

so are you a Transsexual if so this question is a given are you gay ? there noting wrong with that. the problem is you have not comes to terms with yourself. not about being gay about being yourself
i think it's time for you to go talk to a gender therapist

[Midnight Skye]

Being transgendered, a crossdresser, and or gay are all very confusing frustrating things (I can relate to the first two). You may end up finding out you are transgendered or you may find you're happier as a feminine male who enjoys crossdressing in private. Either way its part of you and your decision to embrace or deny either. As for your sexuality. You should explore SAFELY in all of your different tastes. Sex is complicated and who you do it with and how you go about it can vary in so many ways.

Its as MJ said. You can be whoever you wish to be. Its just a matter of living with yourself and finding what makes you happy through life.

If you want to chat about it more message me; my life through highschool and college sounds crazy similar.

[DeeInGeorgia]

I was terribly shy around girls, and still am to some extent. I did not have a girlfriend in high school, college and not for several years afterward. I asked a few times in late grade school, and high school and kept getting turned down. I had feminine traits which made me the butt of jokes and being teased all through high school. I was teased one day in the 9th grade about having never french kissed a girl. I was teased to the point I was crying uncontrolably and when the teacher came into the room at the start of class, he had to take me to his office and let me stay there for a couple of hors until I was able to return to classes. What made it particularly hard was that much less french kissing, I had never kissed a girl at all. My first kiss was at the age of 24.

I took up square dancing as a way to meet girls. I became very good, and got to the point girls would go out with me, but only because I was a good dancer. A few others dated me for awhile, but I was not "Manly" enough for them to consider going further. And yes, I did have them tell me that they were looking for someone that they could bask in his glory, but not those words exactly.

I finally lost my virginity in a one night stand 2 weeks before my 28th birthday.

Having realized where I was living that most of the women were looking for strong fathere figures for a husband, I started looking for a job in another part of the country where women were more independent, not looking for as strong a father figure. When a job in California came up, I jumped at it, and moved to California on my 30th birthday.

2 Months later I met my future wife, and we have now been married 23 years.

My lack of being a strong father figure has created problems because I have a son that needs a strong father figure and I am having to man up, or more correctly, respect myself more, which for me means letting my feminine self out more, allowing myself to be me instead of hiding a part of myself all the time. My wife is not happy about it, but I am being the man and insisting on being myself in completeness which means letting the woman out.

I have to say that I was more masculine when I had a racecar and was racing, but could not afford to do that after I got married.

So hang in there. Keep trying. Stay aware of people around you. If you look like where you live is not conducive to finding women that are accepting of men with feminine traits, then look at places where women are more independent and don't want a man bossing them around. Go to college campuses, go to California, just look at the prospwctive market and figure out if it is a fit.

Deanna

[Hope]

You should be looking at women, or you like looking at women, or you don't look at women because you don't think you have a chance with them?

If you are gay, you simply need to recognize that, and admit it to yourself. To thine own self be true and all of that. You can lie to others if you want to, but there is no use lying to yourself.

If you are not approaching women because you don't think you are not what they would want - you need to let women decide why it is they aren't going to sleep with you - don't do it for them. There are lots of girls around who like really femme guys, or even (gasp) girls.

[Stephenie S]

Gender Therapy?

[Andy66]

Isn't it strange how a person's mind can play tricks on them? Some people know who they are from a very young age. For the rest of us, it takes years to just get to know ourselves and make up our minds. It takes a lot of self-acceptance and some experimentation (safely, of course). Even then, we continue to evolve throughout our lives. But you're never going to get anywhere at all if you don't get brave and take the first step. Do something. I agree that a good counselor could help you sort through things. :hugs:

[Gizmo, Debbie]

Don't worry too much about? I'm now 32 and still a virgin. Never had any kind of a relationship with anybody.
I would say i'm still attracted to woman it's just i dont know what i want from them...( do i want them for their body or do i want their body). There is a part of me that would mabye consider being with a man but it is just a small part.
I guess you could say i'm waiting for the fairy-tail moment when i just bump into somebody and think yeah this is the one for me?

The idea of talking to a "Professional" is a good idea, they help you work things out in your own head.

I'm a bit of a beleiver in If it is meant to be it will be.:thumbsup:

[emmicd]

it's hard to meet girls to date if you identify more as a girl. it seems to me that some form of tg support group can be helpful where you can discuss this. generally tg and cd are not gay. there is no connection between the two. if you are tg you need to help yourself through the feelings you have. girls certainly do not want to date girls (gg's or tg's).

emmi

[Eriee]

girls certainly do not want to date girls (gg's or tg's).

emmi

Maybe you should start telling that to all the lesbians... see how well that goes over. haha.