Ever so slight change in tone...

[Karren H]

From my wife at noon.. Were not talking OMG here wear this bra.. Lol. Way way way more subtle....

Well to start.. Ya know that she is always on my case about my nails being long.. And they are... And usually she is very adamant when she sees them "Those look like a girl".. Lucky for me she doesn't stay angry..

But today at noon.. After we met and ate out, setting in the van, she was showing me some things she was going to pickup at CVS.. Including some new stuff for my hair loss... And she had a coupon for $3 off hair color.. And wanted to know if I wanted any.. What brand and what color.. Which that in itself was like.. Yeah!! Told her to pick out some color you think I would look good in... And I asked her to pick up some more night cream... And she said she would. Now I'm thinking woo hoo... she's buying me beauty products!! Ohh yeah... But then I point at something in her catalog with my long nails and she makes the comment.. "Your nails are really long... Maybe you should trim them back a little... So you don't look unprofessional at work".. Wasn't the old "cut them you look like a girl" I'm used to.. Her whole tone was just different like she is getting semi-used to my semi-femininity on some semi-level..

Ohh I'm not a fool to think that I can "baby step" my way into crossdressing at home any time soon... With my luck she will be back to her antifem soapbox by the time I get home ... But it was nice to see a glimmer showing through the vast hopelessness of it all.. And maybe just maybe that as I slowly change, it just takes time for her to adjust? Slowly...

That's it... We now return you to your regularily scheduled program.... :)

[Kimmy55]

Good Luck.My SO used to get me things on occasion and I thought she was loosening up.Didnt happen of course as she fell back into "You look stupid dressed like that" train of thought just a short time later.

[MichelleSanders]

It's a setup! Be sure to double-check the color on the box of dye before using. Don't want to be walking around with purple hair.

[meri]

I am using the baby-step approach as well. Like you I see more positive signs from my wife over time. However, her moods swing like the stock market does. Thus, the real measure is she in an uptrend or a downtrend WRT my dressing. I think it's an uptrend. However, only time will tell.

[Kimmy55]

Good Luck.My SO used to get me things on occasion and I thought she was loosening up.Didnt happen of course as she fell back into "You look stupid dressed like that" train of thought just a short time later.

[Christina Horton]

Speaking of Semi......Trucks.LOL. I think that in time like the next ice age she will be fine with it. After all with your nails you could , cut through the ice and spear up to 5 fish at a time, you could kill a grizzly bear with the night cream would hurt if smeared in the eyes, well you get the ways Eh.

I do think form what I have read of your posts that I think she is slowly come to be ok with it. After all it took my mom 17 years after I told the family at age 23 to be ok with it. So there's always hope . Remember that hun THERE'S ALL WAY HOPE. Good luck.

[Karren H]

Never mind.... She just called and said. "Hey pervert... Pickup some milk on the way home". Hahahaha.

Funny the stock market is down today.. Hope she doesn't find out how much I've lost this morning! I know she will swing back but like the market.. I can profit from short term rises and with stand short term drops as long as the over all trend is positive..

[Christina Horton]

Never mind.... She just called and said. "Hey pervert... Pickup some milk on the way home". Hahahaha.

Funny the stock market is down today.. Hope she doesn't find out how much I've lost this morning! I know she will swing back but like the market.. I can profit from short term rises and with stand short term drops as long as the over all trend is positive..

I am sure she was just playing , no worries hun.

[Kate Simmons]

Ha Ha, Well I don't think she can say too much considering all that work you just did around the house Karr.:)

[Paula_56]

Karen I get those glimers too, and I think maybe we are going here

But after 25 years, she will soon enough call me a pervert the next time

[carolinoakland]

I think your wife is learning how much effort it takes to be angry all the time about something. Carol

[SuzanneBender]

Never mind.... She just called and said. "Hey pervert... Pickup some milk on the way home". Hahahaha.

Funny the stock market is down today.. Hope she doesn't find out how much I've lost this morning! I know she will swing back but like the market.. I can profit from short term rises and with stand short term drops as long as the over all trend is positive..

I stopped even talking to my broker. Just makes we want to cry. In fact your posts today about how far the market dropped today brought a tear. Time to go eat some comfort food like those yummy Gates and Sons BBQ ribs to get out of the funk!

Mrs. Karren sounds like a hoot. Mine started out very accepting. I started stepping out as Suzanne a lot more she quickly turned to the dark side. The other night we were talking about her girlfirends hubby and how nice he is. She made the comment that he is so sensitive and doesn"t even need to wear a dress to be that way. OUCH! I quipped back with how do you know he doesn't. :heehee: I think she is afraid she is going to come home one night and I am going to be sitting on the couch with my shirt open saying look what was on sale at the plastic surgeons office.

Women can't live without em can't be one of em.

[PetiteDuality]

Karren,

I'd suggest to please your wife and trim your nails a little bit. I think it's a fair reward for her baby-steps support.

I think she will notice and will appreciate it.

[Karren H]

Suzanne... I don't even have a broker and that and my wifes intuition.... kept me from loosing any money in the crash.. and 09 is the best year I've ever had in the market!! And that is an awesome idea, PD!!

[Hope]

When your wife shows a glimmer of hope like this - it's best to reward her ... flowers on the way home would be a great idea...

Reinforce positive behavior. I'm just saying. We might like to think that we are immune to such pavlovian conditioning - but we are not.

[skirtsuit]

"Hey pervert... Pickup some milk on the way home".

Adult mammals drinking milk is pretty preverted, if you ask me

Good luck with the wifey.
BTW, has she ever seen you fully dressed? you look beautiful in your pics so maybe if she saw the whole package she'd be more accepting? (says the never-married guy)

All the Best,
Ann / SS

[Karren H]

Adult mammals drinking milk is pretty preverted, if you ask me

Good luck with the wifey.
BTW, has she ever seen you fully dressed? you look beautiful in your pics so maybe if she saw the whole package she'd be more accepting? (says the never-married guy)

All the Best,
Ann / SS
No she has never seen me enfemme or even wanted to... I'm sure she would totally freak out if she did!!

[DinaMature]

Never mind.... She just called and said. "Hey pervert... Pickup some milk on the way home". Hahahaha.


Reading your thread, I was thinking how lucky I am... my GF is totally supportive. Cosmetics, silky/lacy sleepwear, breastforms draw no negativity.

Then I read this and I laughed... she does often call me 'pervert'.
But then, she has called me that for years. :devil:

[Jessica Who]

That's good to hear Karren, even if it was a small ray of hope :)

Thanks for sharing

[Ruth]

Seriously Karren, I think it would be a good idea if your wife got a look at you en femme.
My wife sees me enfemme all the time. The first time she said she was surprised how good I looked (I think she had been expecting a real fright), but basically I still look, to her, like a man in a dress, and she does not feel at all threatened by the prospect.

[Christina Horton]

No she has never seen me enfemme or even wanted to... I'm sure she would totally freak out if she did!!

Well My mom was the same way and when she saw me she said " It was not that bad." The thing that bothered her the most was my fem-voice. So YNK, EH.

[suchacutie]

I agree that it's a real shame your wife has never seen you en femme. She would be impressed, and that might lead to some understanding of why you are so comfortable with your feminine side.

For sure, we are all impressed!!!

tina

[Frédérique]

But then I point at something in her catalog with my long nails and she makes the comment.. "Your nails are really long... Maybe you should trim them back a little... So you don't look unprofessional at work".. Wasn't the old "cut them you look like a girl" I'm used to.. Her whole tone was just different like she is getting semi-used to my semi-femininity on some semi-level..

I don’t know, Karren – sounds like the same semi-epithet, only phrased a slightly semi-different way, as if she’s trying a semi-attack on your semi-flank. Kudos, though, for being so sensitive to subtlety…:battingeyelashes:

BTW, how do you get your hockey gloves on without these long nails getting in the way, or, more specifically, how do you keep them from breaking whilst cross-checking your opponent? Don’t tell me you’re a gentlemanly…er…ladylike player!? :thinking:

Ahem: Boston 3, Pittsburgh 0 (11/10) :) What’s that? Pittsburgh 6, Boston 5 (11/14)? I don’t want to talk about that one, since I’m still in shock :eek:

OK, that’s enough boyishness for one day…

[Laura_Stephens]

Karen, you are already light years beyond my situation. Good luck and and hang in there!

[Fab Karen]

No she has never seen me enfemme or even wanted to... I'm sure she would totally freak out if she did!!
Maybe if she saw one of your pics, she'd say "who's that? Are you cheating on me?!":heehee:

[Veronica 1]

Yeah, Karren. You could print a catalog page of your varied looks, insert it in a catalog and see if she notices. Of course you run the risk of eating a catalog this way. LOL

[sherri52]

She knows you dress and doesn't like it. The you look like a girl didn't work well so she is using a different approach. Who cares what approach she's using, she's buying you femme products yea!:D

[Karren H]

Yeah!!! I agree... leaving well enough alone... I did file my nails back a little.... and she bought my fem stuff.... and her own flowers!! lol What a wife... :)

[PretzelGirl]

Don't tell em she wrote the love note too????

A little acceptance is good acceptance. Sometimes it just takes longer.

So now do you buy yourself a dress and attach a note from her? :heehee:

[NV Susan]

Ah Karren, I too saw that glimmer of hope shine in one day :daydreaming:.............but alas it was only the afternoon sun shinning in thru the window:doh:.......

[Karren H]

Damn.. Forgot the love note!!! Actually I'm buying tickets to go see Cirque Dreams Illimination downtown.... She loves Cirque anything... And at least you get to see the sun, Susan!! Livin in the second clowdiest city sucks... Get out the self-tanning lotion!!

[boardpuppy]

Karen,
The only progress I'm making is to not show my "preverted" habits where the "grands" or around her work place where they can be seen. However, she does exnore most of the little things. As far as your SO, as previously stated you are lightyears ahead of me.

Hugs,
Alice

[Christie ann]

...and today I got the "What are you wearing?" And, it wasn't even a girl's anything. I am guessing she just wants to stay in practice.

[Karren H]

...and today I got the "What are you wearing?" And, it wasn't even a girl's anything. I am guessing she just wants to stay in practice.

Practice makes perfect... Probably too cold out west to tell her you wear going to wear a bikini and go out collecting stream sediment samples? Lol. :D

I can't wait till the next time were out shopping and I pause for a micro fraction of a second in front of the jewelry or a sweet pair of heels... "What are YOU looking at". Sigh...

[joyce483]

suzanne,you should get with your wifes friends hubby and get him a dress and just be sitting on the couch when your wife comes home and say we do have something in common!!!!

[Jaclyn NM]

Well Karren, my situation is somewhat similar in that my wife knows I crossdress, and has even seen me dressed a couple of times, but then said it made her uncomfortable, and she'd prefer I didn't dress in front of her. Meanwhile, she's okay with me wearing stockings all the time, and even buys me some on occassion. Go figure!

[Alice B]

That's great Karren. I am also starting to see a change in attitude from my wife. She did not bat an eyelash when I went in and had a full wax job (except arms) and even said she liked the color of my toe nails. She is becoming more tolerant of my dressing at home and I'm about to really test her by asking to go out tomorrow night to a local bar that cross dressers attend. She knows I've been there before and nothing came of it. We'll see.

In the meantime I hope that things continue to be more accepting for you and that she grants you more freedom.

[ReineD]

Congratulations Karen! :hugs: Itty, bitty, baby steps.

It sounds as though she is letting some of her fears go. After all these years, she knows you aren't going anywhere. She certainly knows you've cared about how she felt. I suspect she no longer feels that if she is somewhat supportive, you will *transition and want a boyfriend*! :eek:

She is allowing her guard to come down. It can only move forward from here, perhaps even beyond the good-natured, "you do you're thing and I'm OK with it" stance with "but I'll be happy to help you out if you need me to, because I don't stress over it anymore".

Good for you and her! :love:

[Edwina]

Maybe if she saw one of your pics, she'd say "who's that? Are you cheating on me?!":heehee:

That's what I keep hoping for :daydreaming: I have a few on my computer which she, now she has retired, uses as well.
She has been making little remarks about my nails recently although they are not really long, except for one thumb nail which I keep long for the pesky, iti biti buttons on the panasonic remote. If anybody asks me about it I am going to say its for picking on my guitar :) Actually I gave that to my grand daughter years ago. :D

And speaking about sunshine.... no, on second thoughts I won't.:D

:love:

Edwina

[linnea]

It's inspiring to read that some many girls think that baby steps can work; I'm just about to take a couple of little steps with my SO.
I've told my kids (grown), and my daughter and her husband have seen me dressed--I actually gave them a fashion show.
Now it's my wife. So I'm going to try a couple of little hints. Next time I write my nails may be trimmed back to the nubs!

[Jacky Aikou]

Karen, if your wife is anything like mine, her attitude on CDing waxes and wanes like the tides. Some days she'll be really down on the whole Jacky thing, but not always. I think shopping and presents makes it better. :heehee:

I'm hoping for the overall positive trend, too...

[TerriM]

Im married 38 yrs and my wife has known about my femme side 28yrs. She has never seen me dressed, well except at a halloween party before I told her. She has no interest in seeing me dressed and I know that she never will. There are sometimes things in life that must accept will never change. I get out about 1x a month and hang some of my fem things in our closet. I think I have it pretty good. I compare it to that if i was a hunter. My wife would never go hunting with me or would be interested in aything to do with it. Just my opinion.
Yours Terri

[JenniferR771]

Your wife is like mine Karren. Baby steps. Slow, baby. She has never bought me anything--well not true--she bought me some makeup remover. I keep hopeing. Her moods go up and down.

[Chari]

Karren, Since your wife has not seen you dressed, it is certainly not that she is jealous of how feminine you always look! Rather she may be tired of trying to beat you back into a guy, and is now considering to join you as a "girlfriend".

[Vicki-Z]

I thought last spring my wife was accepting my femme side as well. She was buying me lip gloss. a nightie and a couple camis. A couple weeks later she had a fit and I purge everything I had. Here I am six months later rebuilding my collection.

[WandaRae2009]

I am hoping for such a change some day. It's like every few months something happens that sets her back to totally unaccepting. She says she knows and understands that I cannot just shut it off and never do it again. These swings drive me crazy. I can't get her to understand that I have no desire to transition, and that crossdressing is all that I want.

All we can do is continue to be patient and take the baby steps and hope for slow progress.

[Karren H]

I'm sure I'll get whiplash when she swings back 180 degrees sooner than I expect... As long as she let's me play hockey I'll at least have something to fall back on.. Or is that fall on my back.. Both probably... She did let me do the laundry last night but I think that was more of a case of "you got those rags all dirty cleaning out the camper... You wash them". Lol.

She even let me take the son shopping... While he was in the dressing room trying on stuff I got to browse through womens department... And she let me go estate saling all by my lonesome so I bought quite a few few things.. All and all its been a great week..

[suit]

this waxing and waning reminds me ofthe bio rhythims in the back of a TI instraumets book... some one should chart it and compare to the moons!

[Ralph]

Funny the stock market is down today.. Hope she doesn't find out how much I've lost this morning! I know she will swing back but like the market.. I can profit from short term rises and with stand short term drops as long as the over all trend is positive..

Does that mean you are going to sell your shorts?

Thank you! I'm here all week. Try the hemlock, and be sure to tip your waiter/waitress/whatever they prefer to be called.

[MissyW]

That's encouraging

[Karen564]

Her whole tone was just different like she is getting semi-used to my semi-femininity on some semi-level..



That's it... We now return you to your regularily scheduled program.... :)

LOL, I love your humor..:)


Awwwww, Your so cute in the way you see things, and know you'll always see the glass is 1/2 full rather than 1/2 empty, which is also so wonderful...and bet your wife must love that about you too..


Just saying, Karren, you'll always be aces in my book ..

:hugs: